


Spark of Gold

by Ardruna, bookwormfaith



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works, TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien, Unfinished Tales - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Amroth Isn't Much Better, Amroth and Celebrían are twins, Amroth's original parentage, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Awkward Blow Jobs, Awkward Family Reunions, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, I will warn for these up front in the notes of each chapter, M/M, Maglor Is Bad At Flirting, Name Changes, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Probably some chapters with emotionally intense/triggering material, Rescue, Slow Build, Some angst, There will be chapters with sexually explicit material, Washed ashore, near-drowning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-19
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2018-03-13 05:49:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 151,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3370133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ardruna/pseuds/Ardruna, https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookwormfaith/pseuds/bookwormfaith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Both Maglor and Amroth were thought to be lost to the sea.  But what if they survived--and found each other?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lost and Found

**Author's Note:**

> 0\. This story is converted from an on-going AU-timeline RP between my co-author and I. So, updates down the line will depend on our progress!  
> 1\. Amroth has two known parentages in canon: the original being Galadriel and Celeborn, and the other Amdír and an unnamed mother. But, for the sake of this story, we're going with the former. And since we only have one record of Galadriel giving birth (to Amroth), we're assuming he and Celebrían share a birthdate, somewhere between 350 and 400 of the Second Age.  
> 2\. To avoid risk of being overly verbose before getting to a break point, chapters are likely to be kept on the shorter side. But this means more frequent updates (theoretically)!  
> 3\. We have one Aussie author and one Yank one, so there might be some dialect-based spelling inconsistencies here and there. Blame it on pre-First Age vs. Second Age if you like.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It all starts when Maglor finds another Elf washed upon the beach. One who looks all too familiar...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 0\. Some description of near-drowning injuries, just for the record. Otherwise, not much.

It was late autumn in 1980 of the Third Age. Maglor, the last living son of Fëanor, had survived long, and almost forgotten, these many long years alone, walking the shores of Middle-earth, unable to leave them. Alone and forgotten, he had been the shadow at the edges of history, the wandering bard who came and went like the echo of the songs he sang, never any place long enough to be found by any of his kin who sought him (or who didn't, as the case might be). From his people and his kin, perhaps, but not, apparently, by the Powers of the world. Usually, his days were spent in solitude, but this day brought a new discovery.

At first, it was a strange spark, a golden glare along the beach, the sun flashing off of something in the distance. As he approached, however, it became apparent what it was: an Elf lying washed upon the shore. Maglor's heart leapt into his throat. He'd seen a sight like that before. And he was gone. Surely, this one must be dead, lying there like that. Almost, almost, he turned aside entirely but...

Instead he found himself crouched by the Elf's side, reaching out to see if the other still lived. He was alive, but only just, having been mostly drowned and likely only spared by the grace of Uinen. Clearly, he had suffered badly from his time in the water, his body tossed by the waves and smashed upon rocks. He was covered in cuts and bruises, more becoming apparent as Maglor wiped away the mud from the pale, waxy skin. Blood caked under his nose and from his mouth, and his face was bruised and swollen. At least a few ribs were likely broken. One toe on a foot stripped of any boots was all but laid bare to the bone, and others scraped and broken. A particularly bad injury was on the side of his head, blood and sand matting the long, blond tresses. That he survived at all was a miracle in itself. Yet, though bedraggled and injured, closer inspection showed he was tall and, despite the damage, fair, quite beautiful even for one of the Eldar, with bright hair that shone like gold in the sunlight. His clothes were soaked, dirty and torn, but they were once fine and white. He looked so achingly familiar, closely resembling Maglor's uncle, Finarfin... But Finarfin was no longer on these shores, his sons lost long ago.

His daughter, Galadriel, however... And did she not have a son? Amroth, by name, to the best of Maglor's knowledge, though he had never met the boy. It had to be him.

Maglor couldn't abandon him. He couldn't just leave him there. But, what to do? He considered, and tried to lift him and carry him a little further from the water's edge. He had been in this cove before, although not in a while, and he knew how far the tide came up. There was a small, sheltered area not too far away, where he could build a fire and at the least see if there was anything he could do for the obvious wounds he needed to tend.

Once the fire was blazing, just-caught fish cooking by it, Maglor worked to clean and bandage the injuries as best he could. The other Elf did not seem aware of Maglor's presence or attention, but as he began to return to consciousness, he made a weak, soft groan of pain.

"Easy, easy," Maglor murmured softly as he stirred, abandoning his efforts at first aid to soothe his guest. Almost instinctively he wound power beneath his voice in a low soothing hum, the same way he would calm _peredhel_ twins and younger brothers. "You are safe now, friend. Rest easy."

Even for one of the Eldar, it was hard to rest easy with a body so badly broken. Still, the groans of pain quieted down, and for a while, he was still enough for Maglor to tend to him. Eventually, he came to enough to be lucid. He was still in pain, and grimaced as his eyes finally opened as much as they were able to do so. He looked around slowly, carefully, but didn't recognize his surroundings.

"Where... where am I?" he said, his voice half a croak from disuse.

Maglor looked up from where he was checking the fish he had set to cook on the coals of the small fire he had going, and came over when his guest stirred.

"Safe, sir," Maglor told him. Thinking it better not to panic him, he had set aside the cloak with the Fëanorian star cloakpin for the nonce. "I found you washed ashore earlier. We have not moved far from that spot."

For a moment, the other Elf looked puzzled, his eyes blank. "Washed ashore? Why--?" His voice dropped suddenly. "Oh. Yes. I was swimming but... I don't remember why..." He gingerly touched the side of his head where the injuries were worst, and gave Maglor a chagrined smile. Even with his features distorted as they were, it was almost uncanny the resemblance he bore to the line of Finarfin when he did that. "I am sorry. My memories are not clear right now. But I thank you for your kindness, friend."

Maglor's eyes widened, his breath catching. So clear, so _obvious_ the resemblance, that surely it could not possibly be coincidence, but-- _Not now, Makalaurë,_ Celegorm's ghost scolded and Maglor managed a small smile.

"You have nought to be sorry for, friend." _Kinsman,_ he wanted to say, but did not dare. "Do not worry yourself. You were badly injured - a head injury not the least. Rest you - this cove is fairly sheltered, unless Lord Ossë decides to storm, we are safe enough for the nonce. Are you hungry?" Maglor asked.

"I... Yes," the other Elf said softly, "I don't know how long it's been since I last ate..." He started to move toward the fire, becoming steadily aware that he was not only hungry, but uncharacteristically chilled. Yet, moving only brought a wave of pain and dizziness, so he quickly abandoned that effort. He grimaced at his helplessness, and glanced away, embarrassed. Still, he was grateful for his new companion, who oddly seemed to recognize him, though he had no recollection of this person. He began to wonder about him. It's evident he was married, which the blond Elf was not, but there were no signs of anyone else nearby. "...will your family be worried for you out here?"

Maglor had turned away to the fish cooking in the coals and his breath caught briefly at the memories, but the wounds were old now, and he only shrugged a little and smiled sadly, coming over to offer his companion a hand.

"I no longer have family to worry for me, I fear, but I thank you for your concern. Come, the fish will be ready soon - let me help you closer to the fire," he said kindly as he approached.

As soon as he realized his faux-pas, the golden-haired Elf winced. His memories were still vague, but hearing that opened some ache in his heart as well.

"Oh... Forgive me, I didn't realize... I don't remember if I have any family left or not, but... I think I may have... lost someone..." he murmured, flushing. By then, the dark-haired Elf was there to help him get closer to the fire. Injured as he was, he was unsteady, and leaned heavily on his companion. "Still, I am glad you were here to find me. ...what do I call you? I'm Am... Am... Am... something. It will come to me, once my mind is clear again, but..." He shrugged as best he could with his injuries. "You may call me what you wish."

 _Amroth,_ murmured Celebrimbor's ghost, _Galadriel's boy._ And, indeed, the last of the doubt was erased from Maglor's mind, though he did not dare say so aloud.

"Tis a fortunate man or elf in these days who can say they have not lost anyone dear to them," Maglor said, smiling a little sadly, "You gave no insult." Still, Amroth had asked him a question. He needed an answer. It was the briefest pause before he decided. "Cano, call me Cano. Am, is it? Hopefully the rest of your name is not long in the returning to you. Here, the fish ought be cooked now - I fear 'tis but simple fare, I have not overly much to season it with."

"Cano..." Amroth repeated softly. A slight frown creased the blond Elf's face upon hearing that name, and he took a closer look at his companion. There was no way to completely disguise that this was an Elf who was born in the Light of the Trees, and that created a faint flicker of recognition in Amroth's eyes, but not enough to be a clear memory, so he said nothing further on the matter. "We can only hope my name returns in time."

The freshly cooked fish brought a faint smile to his face. "Simple as it might seem, it will be as fine as a feast for me. Thank you," Amroth told him. As he ate the offered fish, a healthier color began to come back into his face, though he was still quite pale, weak, even fragile. Maglor noted the healthier colour with approval and nodded.

"I think it shall. You strengthen already - a good sign," he agreed, "But even so, you should rest. You need fear no danger here - this close to ocean, I doubt much evil would come willing, and I will keep a watch in case."

"Cano... You are very kind to a poor stranger. I swear I will find a way to repay your hospitality," Amroth said, eyes shining earnestly in the firelight. 

"Do not trouble yourself over it." _It is no burden to care for a kinsman,_ Maglor did not say, only smiling a little and settling down with his back to the fire to watch for anything that might come. Once the fish was gone, it was not long before Amroth nestled into a more or less comfortable position near the warmth of the fire, and, too weary of body and mind for a reverie, he fell asleep. But it was not a restful sleep. Many dark dreams were in his mind, judging from the way he moaned and shifted in his sleep. When Amroth stirred, Maglor looked up in concern, before biting his lip and fetching his harp. 

_Sleep,_ he played, _fear no evil, dream no bad dreams._

As Maglor played, Amroth finally settled down enough to sleep, and when he did, it was for a long time, his poor body working hard to heal and regenerate.


	2. So Broken Now, The Ties That Bound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maglor tries to help Amroth start the recovery process and fill in some of his forgotten history, while Amroth decides to start some things anew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 0\. Amroth gets angsty enough to start going by a new name. (He will be going by his new _kilmessë_ going forward)  
>  1\. Elven family trees are hella confusing.  
> 2\. Maglor's ghosts are awfully talkative.  
> 3\. This is much longer than Chapter 1, and probably more reflective of chapters going forward. We'll see!

The first thing that registered was pain, which made Amroth open his eyes. He again seemed disoriented when he woke up, looking around in confusion that slowly faded as recognition sunk in.

"...Cano? Are you still here?" he called out to the seemingly-empty cove.  


Perhaps that was the tail end of a song that ended, or perhaps it was only the waves, but sure enough there was a soft scuff to announce his presence as Maglor came back into view.

"Aye, I am. How do you today, Am?" he asked kindly, "Breakfast is only more fish, I am afraid, but I did find a few mussels and a crab or two in the tidepools which might do us for later. If you are well enough I might head up into the woods and set a snare or two. There are no villages close enough to trade with, unfortunately, but a rabbit or two might not go amiss."

Amroth brightened a little when Maglor entered, but he still looked far from well. But, much of the swelling had gone down, the bruises less livid than before. "Better, I think. It hurts less today. Memories are still a little fuzzy, though. I woke and for a while thought perhaps I was still in a dream," he admitted, "Food sounds good. I will help you if I can."

Maglor eyed him and smiled a little. "You do look better, I deem. I suppose we shall see how you do today. I am no healer alas, but I do not think I would risk you venturing far from this cove today either. Here - your morning meal. I managed to find some young dandelion leaves and early garlic - I will hunt for more when I go to set snares," he said, setting it before his companion. "Oh? And what did you dream? You were uneasy last night."

"Thank you." Amroth gratefully accepted the offered food. However, Amroth's face turned darkly troubled when asked about his dreams. The fair brow furrowed, the jaw tightened, the skin, still looking rather waxy, paled. It was not anger in his expression, however, but frustration. Sadness. Fear. A lot of fear. "I... I can only remember pieces. I was alone, and I shouldn't have been. Someone was supposed to be with me. Someone I was supposed to protect. But... I could not. We had gotten lost and separated. Darkness closed in. Evils hidden among the shadows. They kept reminding me this was my doing, my fault. I... I failed someone, Cano. Someone I cannot even remember." His voice dropped, pain shading it. "Perhaps... perhaps... I deserved to be drowned..."

"No!" Abruptly, there was that flash of old fire as Maglor shouted. "Do not say such things! You live, Am, where so many did not - the sea returns so few it takes. You cannot always save everyone, Am. Sometimes, you cannot even save yourself." All the weight of grief and knowledge made his tone heavy. "But if you are here, from some great shipwreck or disaster as it seems, the Valar, or at least Lord Namo, is not yet willing to accept you into his care. Perhaps there is more for you to do yet." Maglor's voice softened. "I am sorry that you failed them, Am. But you live, and I would have you continue to do so."

Amroth ran his hands through his hair, wincing as he brushed the gash on the side. Despair began to creep into his face and voice. "What's left for me, Cano? What more is there for me to do? I doubt any but you even know I still live." He sighed in frustration. "It was no _accident_ I was in the water. I _jumped in_. I... do not remember why..." He trailed off, shaking his head. "Whoever I used to be, Cano... He might as well be dead. I do not remember much of my life. Not my name or my family... And I am not sure I want to. It's over. The question is... now what?"

Maglor was aghast. _No,_ no, not Amroth as well. No, he could not allow another to follow him down despair's road... and yet, what hope could one of the Fëanorionnath bring? Still, he had to try, for Galadriel's sake, if nothing else. Shaking his head, Maglor came to sit beside him.

"I cannot answer that question for you - in the end, only you will be able to decide for what reason you live. But consider this - if you jumped, you must have done so for a reason. To save another, perhaps? There is no shame in trying and failing." _None, except for the one whose failure condemns his brothers to the Dark_ , he reminded himself. "I ... you..." Maglor sighed, golden voice failing him - clever words had always been Curufin's thing, anyway. "I think I know who you are, if you truly wish to know. You look alike enough that I can guess, although I cannot tell you what brought you here. And if I am right, there will be those who rejoice to know you live. There always are, you know." _Except for us_ , came the sneer in his mind. "No death does not touch a life, somewhere. No one goes unmourned." He hesitated, just for a heartbeat. "If you wanted to start again, you could do so as well, of course. The sea gives up so few, I cannot but think you survived for a reason."

There was a flash in Amroth's grey eyes, though if it was of anger or knowing or something else was hard to tell. The despair remained.

"So, you do know me, then," he said shrewdly, "Who was I, Cano? Why did you take me in? You could just as well have left me there."

 _Who was I?_ That was the question he asked. Not "Who _am_ I?" Perhaps he was still deciding his future, but it seemed the Amroth who leapt into the stormy waves was not the same one who washed upon the shore. He seemed ready to abandon whatever he once had.

"I... I think I do," Maglor said, hesitating. _Should I tell him? Will it affect his healing?_ he wondered, _Yet if I do not..._

"You... look terribly like one of my cousins. I know she had a son and a daughter. If I am right, that makes you Amroth, Galadriel's son, and I your uncle. But Am, I would have stopped for you anyway - I could not have left you there to die." Maglor sighed quietly, and continued his admission. "I did not speak, because I did not know if this was something your mind needed to recover on its own, but also... because I was afraid. Galadriel has very few living kin, and only one cousin left alive on this side of the Sundering Sea... and precious few are glad to see him."

Amroth frowned, rather wishing Maglor would not confuse him so, considering his head injury. "Are... you my cousin or my uncle, then? I do not see how both are possible..." he mused, and shook his head. 

Maglor smiled wryly. "Forgive me - I am confusing you eh? No, Am - your mother is my cousin, which makes me your uncle." 

_Which would be why it'd be better for him to figure it out himself,_ grumbled Caranthir.

"Would it not make us second cousins?," Amroth pointed out, "I thought you would have to be my mother's brother to be my uncle. Perhaps I am mistaken. I do not know if my mother even has brothers."

Maglor's wry smile remained firmly in place. " _Technically_ , you are, of course, correct. But calling me that seems awkward, no? And she does. Three, in fact - all older, although none remain alive on this side of the Sea. You ... had a cousin, as well - Orodreth, and a nephew, Erennion... and a sister, Celebrían." Maglor had always maintained a careful distance, but that did not mean he took no interest in his surviving kin.

"I take it you would prefer I call you "Uncle," then?" Amroth asked, raising an eyebrow. He just shook his head at all those names, however. Obviously, most didn't ring any bells.

"You may call me what you wish - believe you me, it will be kinder than what most do," Maglor mused. 

"You asked that I call you Cano, and so I will," he agreed. "It matters not. If we are kin, then I am lucky to have been found by you. If we are not..." He merely shrugged. "I do not fear you, Cano. You have shown me kindness. Without you, I may not be alive. Whoever we once were... Perhaps my loss of memory is just a way to sever the past. To start something new, unburdened by the weight of memory." 

"You probably should," Maglor said softly, and his fingers in the sand traced an eight rayed star absently, "I mean to do you no harm, but that does not mean that I will not. I did great harm to your mother, even if not directly."

The smile Maglor got back was also wry, but there was a kindness in it. "Cano, what could you possibly do to me that is any worse than I have already suffered?" Amroth asked.

A small shudder wracked through Maglor at the question. "Do not ask, for I do not ever wish to find out. When your memories return, Am... I wonder if you will still wish to be near me." _I would throw myself back in the minute I remembered why I wanted to die,_ Maglor didn't say aloud, because in fairness he didn't know if he could willfully do so, although he came very, very close, he thought (the memories of that time were still unclear).

The blond Elf's expression turned thoughtful. "Amroth may have been my name. I am not certain. I am not even certain it is a name that fits me now, if it was. Perhaps it is time I took a new _kilmessë._ "

"Perhaps - if that is what you wish, I will not stop you," Maglor said.

Amroth looked out toward the waters of the sea. "...Perhaps I should better be called Esgaron, since you found me upon the shore."

"Esgaron, then." Maglor nodded with a small smile.

"And, if it were you in my place, washed up from near death, unable to recall more than bits and pieces of the life you had... What would you do?" Amroth, no, Esgaron asked.

"As to that, without my memories I would not be myself, and so I could not answer for me as I am now. I might be happier, I suppose," Maglor mused.

Esgaron chewed nervously at his lip. "Cano... What if they don't come back? We assume they'll heal when my head does, but... what if they don't?"

"If they do or they do not only time will tell. There is no point worrying about it now - and did you not wish to start anew? We will cross that bridge if and when it comes - I will stay until you are well, or you send me away," Maglor assured him.

There was a long pause and Esgaron idly picked at a salt stain on his tattered sleeve. "Cano... did we ever know each other before now?"

Maglor shook his head. "No. I... am not welcome within the Golden Woods." _We are not welcome anywhere,_ murmured the Ambarussa. "I kept up with news, and so I knew that you had been born... but I guessed who you were only because you looked so like your grandfather and your mother."

Esgaron nodded slowly. "It sounds as if you have been alone a long time..." he mused. 

Maglor gave him a small shrug. "Long enough." 

_Long enough to go more than a little insane, brother_ , scolded Celegorm.

Esgaron looked slightly embarrassed, and hesitated before he spoke next, evidently finding his thoughts a little farfetched himself. "I wonder if perhaps the Lord of Waters brought me here without memory for your sake, Cano. So you would no longer be alone or fear being despised."

Maglor started at that, blinking in surprise as he considered the thought. "I..." He shook his head. "...but Lord Ulmo has much cause to hate me, why...?" Suddenly, his tone turned fierce. "He should not have afflicted you in any case, you do not deserve that."

The blond Elf gave Maglor a smile with wryness equal to that of his dark-haired counterpart. "Do not be so certain of that, Cano. We do not know what all led to my near-demise. Would it be such a terrible fate, were that the case?"

 _Nothing you could have done would ever be so bad as us,_ said Celegorm, leaning against Maglor's shoulder.

"I..." Maglor began, his voice becoming quiet. "I do not deny that I have missed company. But I am alone for good reason - and I cannot think that anything you did would ever render you deserving of ... of being cast ashore with me."

"Do you... wish me to leave you, once I am well enough to manage on my own, Cano? I do not wish to trouble you." Esgaron was a grown Elf, yes, but for a moment, still fragile and vulnerable, he was, in a way, yet another lost child in need of Maglor's care. One who feared being alone in the wide world.

"Oh, Esgaron." A sigh, and Maglor reached across to tug gently on a strand of hair, responding instinctively to the need in his voice. "I will not send you away - I fear rather that you will want to leave, once your memories return! But I will stay until you wish me to go." 

_You should not promise such things,_ warned Maedhros, _You should not be getting attached - you **know** that, Makalaurë._

Esgaron smiled a little at the affectionate gesture. "You keep saying that. I do not believe it is true." 

"We shall see," Maglor said absently.

Esgaron ran his fingers through his hair, wrinkling his nose a bit in distaste to note how stiff it was yet with salt and grime. "I must seem a dreadful mess. Would the waters here be too cold for me to wash? ...and I don't suppose you might have spare clothes?" Esgaron was not quite so tall as Maglor, but there were no more than a few inches between them. Then, suddenly, a new spark of fear leapt into his eyes. "...nor do I suppose you'd be willing to be close in case... Lord Ossë should change his mind about me...?"

Maglor blinked and then smiled a little. "You are not quite of a size with me, but you are close enough, I think! The weather is good today, so I do not see why you should not have a wash if you please." There was a wry quirk to his lips. "I can stay - although, if anything, Lord Ossë might get cross with _me_ for meddling with you."

"From what you say, it sounds like business as usual for you," Esgaron said with a hint of a smile. That must have been a good sign, if he was starting to crack jokes. "Thank you, Cano. I expect you'll tire of me saying that, but, truly. I am grateful." Gingerly, he got to his feet. He was a bit steadier than the day before, but it was still slow going, and he had a definite limp for the time being. 

Maglor unbent enough to grin sheepishly back and shrugged. "It feels that way some times - but here, let me help you." 

Esgaron waited for Maglor to find him some spare clothes and followed him to a place where he could get clean. Maglor helped him down to the small nearby tide pool. At first, Esgaron was nervous, as if expecting Ossë to drown him at any moment, and he shivered, not just from the late autumn chill. But, eventually, his soiled clothes came off, revealing the full extent of his injuries. Most of his body was yet covered in cuts, scrapes and bruises of various stages of healing. It looked like he might still have a few broken ribs, and Maglor tsked in dismay at the injuries. He had seen worse, but most of _those_ were on battlefields and in those thralls who survived the dungeons. But, Esgaron slowly eased into the cold water, not daring go past his knees, and then, eventually, his waist until he ducked his head to wash his hair. And, as the dirt came off, injuries aside, he proved he was still a magnificent specimen of Elven beauty. Once Esgaron was situated, Maglor backed off back to dry land, where he picked up his harp and absently started composing. For once, it was not the grieving laments of yesteryear he sang but something... a little more appropriate. Great trees with silver bark and golden leaves, that reached up into the skies, and hidden cities in their branches. Meanwhile, Esgaron tried to be as efficient as he could, and dressed as quickly as he could without it hurting him. The clothes were a little loose, but they were warm and dry and Esgaron looked relieved.

"There. Now I might actually be fitting company," he said as he rejoined Maglor.

Looking up, Maglor smiled to see Esgaron looking more cheerful. "I would have never said so to your face, but... 'tis true, you were beginning to smell, slightly. How are your injuries feeling?" Absently, his hands danced over the strings, golden light and green - they were still scarred, the right moreso than the left, and not so clever as they might have been in his youth, but he learnt to compensate, long ago.

"I can't imagine there are any who narrowly escape a watery grave and emerge smelling of wildflowers," Esgaron retorted. "I feel like I am still coughing up seawater. The injuries... are coming along. They do not burn as much with the salt washed off. Though I am rather amazed I didn't lose fingers and toes. One toe scarcely has any flesh left on it. I am sure I will carry scars, but... they should heal in time." He cocked his head, listening to Maglor play. "So that was you I heard playing? It's wonderful. I... do not think I have heard it before, but there is something familiar about it..."

Maglor gave a sharp bark of laughter. "Well, I suppose if said grave was perfumed with wildflowers it might be a different tale. But I am glad to hear that you heal - I have little here to tend to wounds, and the nearest settlement is some distance away." Maglor smiled and looked down, hands coaxing a cheerful trill that managed to suggest a florid court bow. "Thank you - it is one of the few skills left to me of my childhood that I still enjoy. You would not have - that song is new. But if it sound familiar - it was meant to bring to mind Lothlórien, and the great _mellyrn_ that grow there."

Esgaron smiled to hear him laugh, sharp though it might be. "Well, hopefully we will never have to find out. This one--" He gingerly touched the side of his head, the gash now hidden by his golden hair. "--still pains me the most. But I will manage." 

He got a faraway look on his face as Maglor described the great woods. "They did not always grow there... They were planted..." Absently, he traced a circle on his palm about the size of a _mallorn_ seed. Then he seemed to come back to the present, looking a bit shaken. "I... It... There isn't much there. Just... images. But seeds and saplings... And want for them to grow faster, to be able to bear weight..."

"Good," Maglor said simply and his eyes widened at the memory. "So - it seems your memories are not entirely lost to you at all! 'Twas your mother who planted the _mellyrn_ \- they do not grow East of the Sea excepting there in Lothlórien. That is perhaps what you are remembering. I can be hopeful then, that in time they may return to you."

 _Which means he will turn you away,_ whispered Caranthir. 

_That's all right,_ the Ambarussa sighed, _It is what we deserve._

"I suppose you must have been there when they were only young saplings," Maglor observed.

Esgaron frowned a little, trying to grasp at the wisps of memory. "I... think I helped to plant them. Helped them grow. It... is difficult to say." He paused. "Cano... How much do you know about who I was?"

"Don't force them," Maglor suggested, hands still dancing across the strings. "They will come as they will, I suspect. And... not much," he admitted, "I knew Galadriel had married her Sindarin prince, and that they had had children. I even managed to learn your names. But I did not know when you were conceived or what passed in your life beyond that you were well and seemingly happy. I knew Galadriel must have planted the _mellyrn,_ and I suspect if that faint glimpse of your past is any judge, she may have done so for your sake, as much as herself. I heard rumor of a city in the treetops - yours, perhaps? But that is all I know."

Suddenly, Esgaron's fingers twitched, as if missing their tools, the feel of wood being worked under them and his eyes flickered up toward the trees, instinctively mapping out a building plan. "I loved to build, once... I remember... climbing and carving... cities coming to life in my hands... _Cities,_ Cano! More than one!" Suddenly the excitement faded with a long sigh. "But I remember nothing else about them. Not even their names or where they are..." He slumped a little. 

Maglor didn't even try to hide his amusement. "Cities? Ai, thou art every inch Galadriel's son, it seems." He never noticed the slip into the familiar. "But in the trees, if the direction of your gaze is any judge - and _that,_ I guess, is your father's influence." 

"...did you know my family well, Cano?"

"I knew your mother very well - but your father, not at all," Maglor told him. _Unless you count killing his family,_ observed Caranthir sardonically. "She was the youngest of our cousins, you see - and I apparently a favoured babysitter." _Because you were a huge sap and she could twist you around her little finger,_ pointed out Celegorm.

"...would you play more for me, Cano?" Esgaron asked.

Maglor smiled and tipped his head in agreement. "You need only ask, Esgaron. What do you wish to hear?"

At Maglor's offer, he colored faintly. "I... I wouldn't even know what to ask for, Cano. What of you? Would you play for me something that you love?"

Maglor considered the request thoughtfully, fingers dancing idly across the strings. "Something from my childhood then, and hers," he decided, and the tune changed from idle wandering to the sweet tones of a childhood nursery rhyme:

" _There is a garden, flowering in gladness_  
_Fed by a spring from the heart of the world_  
_Golden and silver is the light from the branches_  
_Of the Trees that grow there, more precious than pearl_  
_Lifting up their heads to the heights of the heavens_  
_Dropping their blossoms to cover the earth_  
_Let us rejoice and sing all in thanks now_  
_For the new days beginning, a new dawn's birth."_

Esgaron listened intently, gaze far away as the images entered his mind. "A very old song. Is it true? Were the Trees like what they say? Or have the golden tongues and sweet lips of poets and bards outstripped their true beauty for mythic proportion?" Though he did not remember it, as it was once said that Galadriel's hair contained the light of both Trees, so did she pass the light to the tresses of her children, split between them in the silver sheen of Celebrían's, while Amroth's was a spark of gold, more evident than ever now that it was clean once more.

"They were." Maglor's eyes went distant in memory, the Treelight in them kindling to life. "They were light and life and for many of us, they were all we knew. Your mother - her hair, they say, captured the light of the trees blended. You have your grandfather's gold, but it reminds me of Laurelin all the same."

"Why, Cano... Are you trying to tell me I'm fair as a tree-maid?" Esgaron laughed, teasing, but in truth... He _was_ worthy of the comparison. Though slightly marred by his still-healing injuries, he was remarkably beautiful, even by the standards of the Eldar. The shining golden hair, his finely-chiseled features and natural elegance... It was almost puzzling he had never been wed.

Maglor blinked back from memory and smiled a little in answer. "You look like your grandfather," he said instead of answering directly, "Bright and golden and shining - the golden house of Finarfin, they call your family - and it speaks of spirit as well as hair!"

"You were fond of him? My grandfather?" Esgaron looked at Maglor expectantly.

"He was my favorite uncle - well, let me correct that - he was the uncle we were _allowed_ to like. Father and Uncle Nolofinwë... did not get along very often. I loved and admired him... but 'twas safer to do that from a distance. His children and we were friends, but... things were easier with Uncle Arafinwë," Maglor explained.

"I hope to do your memory of him justice, and live up to your fondness of him," Esgaron said, "What other stories can you tell me?"

Maglor smiled and tipped his head in a fond bow, "I am sure you will not have to try." He made a soft, amused chuff. "Ah, now that is an unfair question to ask a bard - I have stories a-plenty! What sort of tales do you want, Esgaron?"

"All of them, naturally. You have all the lore, and I have holes in my memory." He paused, considering. "Let us start with the ones you enjoy most."

Maglor tsked. "No bard worth his salt admits to fancying one tale above another. Not in public, anyway!" he protested. "But, let us see... the great tale of our... my family I might leave, for it is one of great grief to me, and... I am a coward who would rather dwell in the lighter memories for a time."

 _You must sing it for him sometime,_ Caranthir scowled, _If he wants to know, he will need to hear the Noldolantë eventually._

 _Technically, he does not,_ pointed out Curufin, _Galadriel does not feature greatly in there._

 _But it is our history,_ Maedhros overruled.

"Let me take you to Valinor, instead, and tell you of our younger days, when we were happy," Maglor offered. 

He would spend the day telling tales of when they were young and careless and still innocent. And Esgaron listened raptly. These histories far predated the blond Elf's birth, but he enjoyed them nonetheless. Eventually, Esgaron fell asleep, still not yet recovered enough to get by merely with reverie. Though he was not as restless as before, dark dreams still haunted him in the night, making him sob in his sleep like his heart was breaking. But when the morning came, he still could not remember enough to know _why_ beyond the sense of loss and failure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 0\. "Esgaron" literally just translates to "Elf of the shore," for those wondering. I never said he was creative with names.


	3. All My Songs Sung In Sadness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two songs, a snippet of rumor, and history comes crashing down around them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 0\. Just a reminder, Esgaron = Amroth. Everyone's still getting used to the name change.  
> 1\. Between the Noldolantë and the tragedy of Amroth and Nimrodel, there is a *lot* of music-related angst in here.  
> 2\. This isn't a songfic, I swear.

As days passed, Esgaron became stronger and nimbler, the injuries of his flesh healing steadily. Soon, he was braiding his golden hair, not as a king or even a prince, but as a scout would. Maglor's borrowed clothes began to suit him more comfortably than the once-fine white robes he had forgotten about, save to cut into bandages for the deeper wounds or to put to other uses. He was able to help bring in their meals. Constantly, he eyed the trees, and soon he started climbing them again, moving among the trunks and branches as if born in the canopy. When Esgaron started to climb, Maglor smiled and shook his head, telling him 'Your Sindarin blood is telling' - but he did not follow him into the branches, content to lope along below, letting Esgaron point him in the direction of larger game. They settled slowly into a comfortable routine.

Esgaron's memories of his own life still remained frustratingly out of reach, and every day he asked for new songs, but his interest in reclaiming his previous life faded a little more with every new sunrise. Slowly, the songs Maglor played left Valinor's shores and crossed the Sea to Middle-earth, darkness creeping into them, although Maglor steered away from the Noldolantë for as long as he could. He could not do much, but at night while Esgaron slept and dreamt, he played his harp, weaving as much soothing calm through the music as he could to try and ease the dreams. The star cloak-pin he did not hide... but he did not wear it either, selfishly hoping to forestall that conversation, even if Esgaron did not have all his memories yet. Amroth slid more and more into Esgaron. His questions shifted more toward their present situation.

"Cano... You said there was a settlement near here. Who lives there... and why do you never go?" he asked.

"There is - perhaps a day or two up the river there is a small silvan community. I... do not go because I am not welcome amongst the Elves," Maglor replied.

At first, Esgaron climbed higher, as if trying to see this settlement, but then he came down from his treetop perch. 

"...I know you've been keeping something from me, Cano," he said, trying to keep the accusation out of his voice. "I owe you my life. You saved me, tended my wounds, fed and clothed me. You tell me we are kin, if somewhat distantly so. Still, we are bound by blood and by what I believe is friendship." He put his hands on Maglor's shoulders, looking him directly in the eyes. Born in Middle-earth, they did not have the same brightness, but there was much of his mother, Galadriel, in those grey eyes. Esgaron's expression carried an odd sort of tenderness. "I believe that you care for me, Cano. As I do you. And so I must ask: Do you not trust me? Will you not tell me what weighs so heavily upon you?"

There was no Treelight in Esgaron's eyes, but he had Arafinwë's clear gaze, and Galadriel's strength of will, and it was Maglor who looked away first.

"I..." Maglor's shoulders slumped. "You are my friend and my kinsman, and I do, but... I cannot shake the fear of you leaving. I have not been entirely honest. Cano is my name, 'tis true, but it is the name of my childhood, the _epessë_ used by my family - and there are none alive now on this side of the Sundering Sea who would call me by that name full knowing. Here, on this shore... I have another."

He looked up again, something almost desperate in his eyes, and despite the steadiness of his voice, his hands trembled.

"I... was waiting for your memories to return, but if you ask, I decided once that I would refuse none my story, and so... here, I am known as Maglor, and I am a Kinslayer, one of the accursed sons of Fëanor. There are no doors open to me amongst the Eldar, whether Moriquendi or Calaquendi, who has bathed his hands in the blood of his own people," Maglor admitted.

Esgaron's expression did not change, nor did he shy away. Then, he tugged a strand of Maglor's hair in that familiar affectionate gesture. "Truly, do you fear I will not come back to you? I am not so fickle as my memories, and those may never return. But I will hear your story--all of it--if you will tell me."

Maglor smiled a little at that, bleakly. "Everyone else has," he said softly and nodded. "So then. Let me fetch my harp, and I will give it to you in full."

He tuned the harp to the old minor mode of _Silmë Mornë Neninna,_ that was heard in Aman, but seldom in Middle-earth, and he wore the Star, and then he lifted his voice to sing the Noldolantë in full, with the full weight of his power behind it. And Esgaron listened to every word, every note. As he was swept along in the story, buffeted by the music as he was by the sea, he seemed to shift between Esgaron the foundling scout and Amroth, both the valiant prince and the wise king. But never did he waver. He did not run, though when the song ended, it was clear that Maglor expected him to do so.

"Your story is long and sad, Cano, but one that is old. The last notes end before my first cries were heard on these shores. I could not have known you then, but I do not believe you are unchanged by the Ages since," Esgaron said, shaking his head. "It is not for me to judge you as you were, Cano. We have all done deeds we regret. I can only judge you as you are, and the _ellon_ I have come to know is one kind, caring and despairs at the idea of facing the world alone once more."

Something wild and desperate in Maglor eased when Esgaron did not turn from him in disgust, and he shrugged a little, shyly. The Noldolantë was long and he spared nothing in the telling, his scars split and weeping, although not once during, nor now were there any tears in his eyes.

"You are kind to say so, Esgaron - many would not, could not believe that a kinslayer would ever be able to change," Maglor said.

"I do desire to go forth to the settlement, but it speaks of my curiosity to know its people, not of any wish to abandon you. You say they are Silvan. They had no part in your song, nor do I think they would concern themselves overmuch with such histories. Do you believe they would recognize you if they saw you? Will you not come with me?" Esgaron asked.

"But the settlement... I... cannot. Me they may not, indeed likely would not, recognise, but even the youngest elfling knows the Star. I have not worn it these last days for a selfish fear that it would trigger a memory - your father hated us, Esgaron, with good reason, and I feared he might have taught you the same. But normally I never remove it, so that all might see it and take warning. I will not come again amongst the Eldar," Maglor said.

Esgaron fetched bandages and carefully wrapped Maglor's split scars. "It will be difficult for others to forgive you if you do not ever forgive yourself, Cano. I do not remember being told of this story before, but I can say there are new generations who give cares of stars only to those in the heavens. You will not know unless you try. If you wish, I could wear your Star and see if any mistake me for your shining brother," he said, carefully winding the strips of cloth. 

"No!" The denial was immediate and vehement. "Your hands are clean, there is no need for you to number yourself amongst us," Maglor said. He let Esgaron tend to his scars and then he gripped his hand. "That you do not turn me away is blessing enough. As for forgiveness.... My friend, I do not think I can ever ask for such, for it would imply that I deserve it."

"You don't know that," Esgaron countered.

Maglor gave him a sad smile. "How could I deserve anything, who went in with eyes wide open?" he asked softly.

"I will go to these Silvan either way. I feel that I must. Will you be able to let me go without fear? I intend to return within a fortnight. If I do not, will you seek me out?" Esgaron asked.

"But go - seek out the settlement. I will wait for you, and if it is your desire, I will seek you if you do not return," Maglor promised.

Esgaron returned the grip, though carefully so as not to hurt Maglor's hand. "I will return soon. If I do not come back within a fortnight, seek me out."

"Then I will do so," Maglor said with a nod.

After getting a few provisions, Esgaron set off to find the Silvan. As it turned out, there was no need for Maglor to come looking for him, as he returned a few days early.

He carried proper hunting gear and was dressed in new clothes, evidently procured from the Silvan, that fit him properly and would make him blend in with the trees if his bright hair didn't give him away. The garments borrowed from Maglor were cleaned and folded carefully into a bundle. But the clothes were the only thing that looked well on him. Esgaron came back as pale as the day Maglor found him lying on the shore, and he could not seem to stop shaking. If not for the fact Elves were not susceptible to disease, he looked downright _ill,_ his eyes haunted. Whatever happened among the Silvan, it had rattled him badly. The cove was empty, but Maglor's things were still there, the harp tucked carefully into its oilskin bag a sure sign that Maglor did not wander far, and that he meant to return soon.

"C-Cano? Are you still here?" Esgaron gasped out. Indeed, Esgaron's call was answered by a faint hail. His feet a little unsteady, Esgaron put down his gear, placed the bundle of borrowed clothes with the rest of Maglor's things, and followed the sound of Maglor's voice until he found him.

"Cano. Good. You're still here." Though relieved to have found his friend, Esgaron still looked decidedly unwell, and slumped against the nearest vertical surface. Concern lit his eyes and Maglor left the snare he was setting to hurry to Esgaron's side.

"I am, aye - but what ails you?" he asked, scanning for evidence of injury or some other cause.

Esgaron swallowed. "The Silvan... they had news. They... They say the King of Lothlórien is dead. Drowned. That Galadriel and Celeborn are going there now to take up the mantle of leadership, if they haven't already arrived." He paled further. "...they said the king left because of an _elleth._ Nimrodel. That they were to sail west, even though his people needed him. But... that she was lost in the White Mountains and... and..." His voice cracked with a choked sob. "...they believe she is most likely dead. And that King Amroth leapt into the waters for he could not leave--could not _live_ \--without her... There... there was a _song,_ Cano..."

Though raw with pain, he began to sing, his voice no match for Maglor's, but beautiful nonetheless:

_"An Elven-maid there was of old,_  
_A shining star by day:_  
_Her mantle white was hemmed with gold,_  
_Her shoes of silver-grey._

_A star was bound upon her brows,_  
_A light was on her hair_  
_As sun upon the golden boughs_  
_In Lórien the fair._

_Her hair was long, her limbs were white,_  
_And fair she was and free;_  
_And in the wind she went as light_  
_As leaft of linden-tree._

_Beside the falls of Nimrodel,_  
_By water clear and cool,_  
_Her voice as silver fell_  
_Into the shining pool._

_Where now she wanders none can tell,_  
_In sunlight or in shade;_  
_For lost of yore was Nimrodel_  
_And in the mountains strayed._

_The elven-ship in haven grey_  
_Beneath the mountain-lee_  
_Awaited her for many a day_  
_Beside the roaring sea._

_A wind by night in Northern lands_  
_Arose, and loud it cried,_  
_And drove the ship from elven-strands_  
_Across the streaming tide._

_When dawn came dim the land was lost,_  
_The mountains sinking grey_  
_Beyond the heaving waves that tossed_  
_Their plumes of blinding spray._

_Amroth beheld the fading shore_  
_Now low beyond the swell,_  
_And cursed the faithless ship that bore_  
_Him far from Nimrodel._

_Of old he was an Elven-king,_  
_A lord of tree and glen,_  
_When golden were the boughs in spring_  
_In fair Lóthlorien._

_From helm to sea they saw him leap,_  
_As arrow from the string,_  
_And dive into the water deep,_  
_As mew upon the wing._

_The wind was in his flowing hair,_  
_The foam about him shone;_  
_Afar they saw him strong and fair_  
_Go riding like a swan._

_But from the West has come no word,_  
_And on the Hither Shore_  
_No tidings Elven-folk have heard_  
_Of Amroth evermore."_

His voice broke before the song could be finished, and he crumpled down in despair. "...I was a _king,_ Cano. I abandoned my people. I failed my loved ones. I don't-- I _can't_ \--" And he began to weep.

Maglor caught him, drew him close, hushing him as he would his brothers and his fosterlings long ago. "Ssh ssh, oh, Esgaron, I am so sorry. No wonder you fought so hard to return, if there was one you could not live without." But in the end, what could he say to answer this pain? Maglor contented himself with crooning wordless comfort, holding him close.

Instinctively, Esgaron nestled into that embrace, his golden head tucked under Maglor's chin. "It was kinder not knowing. To not remember her name, her voice, her face... I did not know one song, one snip of rumor, could tear me open so. And now she is lost. And I... I am lost, too. Empty. It gnaws so much. I... I can no longer bear to be Amroth, even if all my memories should come back. Many are still gone, but..." He sighed. "Nothing remains on this shore for Amroth. At least, for Esgaron... There is you."

"Hush, hush." Maglor carded a hand through Esgaron's golden locks soothingly. "Nothing? I would not make such a sweeping claim - Amroth has mother and father and sister still. And I will be here - did I not say as much? Until you send me away, whether you are Amroth or Esgaron, I will stay by your side. I am sorry, I have no words to ease your pain."

"But would said parents and sister welcome me back after what happened? After I have been staying with you?" Esgaron asked. 

"I cannot believe that my bright cousin would love her son any less for who you associated with - particularly when my presence has all but been forced on you in your weakness! And no father worth that title would turn away his son. I cannot speak for your sister, of course, but I hear tell she married Elrond of Rivendell, and if I know anything of Elrond, he would never marry someone who would reject family on such grounds as their friends." _He did, after all, call me father,_ Maglor mused.

Esgaron was quiet for a while, aside from the hiccoughing sobs that racked him, until a thought occurred to him. "Cano... How did you...? You had someone once, too. If... If I might ask..."

There was a small hitch at the question, but Maglor's voice was steady when he answered. "I... the pain dulls, over time - goes from searing agony to a well worn scab. It never truly leaves but... one grows accustomed to it. Also my situation is... slightly different to yours. You see... it was my fault."

"This was my fault, too. I could have made my borders stronger, increased our defenses.... But it was my idea to go west. I lost her. I promised she would be _safe,_ and I failed... I failed so much, Cano..." Esgaron's voice was thick with tears.

"No." Firm, the scarred hand gently carding through hair went to shake a shoulder briefly. "Galadriel's son. You would have been a brilliant king - wise and great and good - the House of Finarfin always are. If you told your beloved that it was safest to go West, you were right. You _are_ right - there is no safety on this side of the Sundering Sea. Who knows that better than the Fëanorionnath? We held the line for so long... Oath driven, vengeance crazed. We were great and terrible... and utterly ineffective. Not all the might of the Eldar could keep her safe here, Esgaron. Not forever. Was it your hand that slew her, as mine slew my heart? You did not fail," Maglor assured him.

Esgaron pulled back a moment to look at him. "You speak too highly, I think." For a while, he paused, just _looking_ at Maglor, and then he blushed a little and glanced away. "I... ...no, do not mind, I'm sorry." He gave a long sigh and he rested his head against Maglor again, the shivering sobs quieting down. "So. Now what?"

Maglor crooked a curious eyebrow at the look and shrugged, reaching up to card gently through Esgaron's hair again when he leaned against him, resting his chin against that fair head. "I think not," he said softly. "I would like to think I am a fair judge of character by now. Now? I think you have another piece of your puzzle, Esgaron. But there is no rush to decide anything - we are Eldar, after all - we have nothing but time." He gently teased. "But whatever you decide, I will be here."

Esgaron toyed idly with a strand of Maglor's hair. "You know, Cano... Knowing how alone you would be if I did, I do not think I could leave you. At least, not for more than a few days at a time." The absent playing turned into an affectionate tug.

There was a soft, startled laugh. "You are far too kind to me, Esgaron. There are many who would say I deserve it," Maglor said softly, "That it is my penance for my sins." He sighed. "Perhaps they are correct."

 _It would be just,_ agreed Maedhros, _that we, who brought so much harm, should be forever sundered from all our kin._

"I would send you away to protect you, if I thought it would help, but I do not think it would," Maglor mused.

Esgaron lifted his head enough to look Maglor in the eyes again, touching his cheek so he couldn't shy away from that clear gaze. "You helped me-- _saved_ me--Cano. Do you really expect me to believe you would do all that just to hurt me?" Before he could respond, Esgaron's touch moved to Maglor's lips to silence him. "My downfall came in leaving behind those who loved and needed me. I am not going to make the same mistake with you."

Maglor startled, almost going cross-eyed at the finger, his automatic response dying on his lips (his eyes flinched from Esgaron's, too much like his grandfather) and he was quiet a long moment, staring back, eyes wide and ...frightened, a little, before he sighed softly. "So wise and kind," he said and tugged affectionately on a curl of hair.

Upon seeing the fear in Maglor's eyes, surprise and confusion crossed Esgaron's face. He became vaguely aware there was an odd sort of tension starting to flicker as now the golden Elf was the one to offer assurance and comfort. Almost absently, he gently brushed a thumb over Maglor's cheek. "Cano... Why are you afraid?"

"I..." Maglor did not flinch away but he did not lean in, either, so very still he might have been one of his mother's statues. There was a long pause before he answered, slow and hesitant. "I fear my Doom. I fear my curse." _Everyone who loves me dies,_ the old refrain echoed in his mind.

"Oh, Cano..." Esgaron breathed. Tenderly did he brush the lightest of kisses against Maglor's brow. "I have no jewel. They have passed beyond all hands and knowledge, so I cannot follow you in your Oath. There is no evil end, no betrayal between us, that they can cause. No others found into your care have turned to such ends, have they? I believe we are safe. And should my words prove false, already do I live on borrowed time. I would perish with your name upon my lips in gratitude for granting me those precious stolen days."

The light in Maglor's eyes was wild and fey, a beast wounded and wary and he trembled beneath Esgaron's hand - so, so broken he remained, although he hid it very well. 

"I cannot trust that. I dare not trust that. 'To evil end will all things turn'. For that reason we let Elrond and Elros go, lest they be entangled with us and fall as well. For that reason I have stayed away from all good folk. I do not want you hurt, Esgaron!" Maglor cried.

Esgaron rubbed the side of his head. Though the wound had healed over, a scar remained hidden beneath the beautiful golden hair, along with the damage to his memory. "It is too late for that, Cano. I have already suffered for my mistakes. As have you. These last days have not always been easy, nor do I think we will ever truly be unburdened of our sorrows, but together, perhaps... we could build a new life," he suggested. "Is it not worth trying, Cano? To not seize what little happinesses we can in the meantime? Will you not let me be your light as you are mine?"

"I..." Maglor was tense as a strung bow, and almost, almost he seemed that he might flee, but instead he broke. "I do not know if I can!" _I do not know if I am allowed to,_ came the insidious whisper in his mind. "I only... I only want you to be safe."

"Well, for now, we have each other, for good or ill." Esgaron gave a fond tug to one of Maglor's dark locks. "But, speaking of being safe... The snows will be coming soon, Cano. I know you have remained here at the cove while I have regained my strength, but if we are to remain here through the winter, we will want better protections and comforts against the cold. I can build us shelters, furniture, whatever we should need for that, but if we do not remain here, we must find a new winter home, and quickly."

Maglor smiled a little, but already he was retreating behind the mask of the prince, locking away his emotions for practicalities although the cracks were clear.

"I could never gainsay your mother either," he said fondly and then shook his head, locking it all away. "True enough. We might move inland, although not too far, I think - the winter storms will make seaside living uncomfortable. We need not go too far. I confess I have given little thought to a more stable dwelling - I have been used to wandering as the wind takes me."

Esgaron returned the smile.

"Whereas I am the city builder. But, if I could manage entire cities, surely a warm home for the winter will be easy. Lead the way, Cano. I will build wherever you deem fit. And then the next question is whether you would prefer a dwelling on the forest floor or in the trees?"

"I do not think we will have time for a _whole_ city before winter sets in," Maglor said with amusement, "Mm, and I do not mind, truly - whichever you think best. There was a small rise of hills a days walk from memory, which might suit as a location. There were caves, if you wished to stay on the ground, and a spring for fresh water. Although this late into autumn, I imagine most caves would be occupied by the local creatures!"

"I should hope not! Who else would reside there but us two? A terrible waste of space," Esgaron said, and he nodded thoughtfully. "In that case, I recommend the trees. If the snows should be deep, we need not fear drifting. Fear not, Cano. I will not build it _too_ high." He laughed. "Come. Let us scout a place to build it."

"I hope not! I am no light-footed Sindar, after all." Maglor shook his head in amusement. "Aye, might as well begin now. There are no mallorns here, however - is there a particular type of tree that suits?"

"Just those with age enough to be strong yet young enough to be supple. Healthy and alive. Good roots. As long as those qualities are present, I can work with it. But I would prefer to take the materials from those dead but not yet rotted or those which will spare with permission." Esgaron smiled a little at Maglor. "Truly, it is the Silvan who are lightest of foot, but you are Eldar, Cano. Your step is light enough."

And with that, they set off.


	4. One Step Too Far, and It's a Long Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One winter's night, a line is crossed into new territory for the both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 0\. We officially have slashfic! That's right, for everyone who was yelling, "Oh, just kiss already!" in previous chapters, they finally do! Nothing terribly steamy yet, though.  
> 1\. It still escalates pretty quickly, though, but I guess that's Elf guys for you.  
> 2\. And if it's not obvious, I know nothing about architecture and engineering. So, uh, just go with it.

With winter fast approaching, the need for a new home became more palpable with every passing hour. The days spent searching for a suitable site and then the building relaxed Maglor enough to crack the prince's mask and let the bard back out. Together, Esgaron and Maglor found a suitable building spot, and though his Sindar blood was clear as he gathered materials, there was soon no doubt that Esgaron carried a strong Noldorin line as well. Neither king nor scout, but a master craftsman he became, the wood, stone and other materials taking effortless shape in his skillful hands. It was the happiest Maglor had seen him yet, pouring himself into the project, working tirelessly over the course of several days. He displayed strokes of subtle genius in his design, working clever conveniences into it to accommodate their needs for water and fire without ever leaving the treehouse and yet not compromising their safety. It was a work both practical and beautiful, worked over with fine carvings. Before long, he had, with some help from Maglor, built them a cozy and comfortable home to winter in. Maglor was no builder, and contented himself to help where needed, and hunting to fill their stores. 

The house in the trees was open, but all the open spaces could be shuttered against wind, wet and cold. There were places for bathing and cooking, a bed large enough for the both of them, and ladders to climb up and down from it. All they could need for those months.

"There, Cano. What do you think?" Esgaron asked, his eyes shining with pride.

Maglor stared up at the home (for it was a home, clearly, and not a simple shelter), and shook his head with a smile. "I am thinking that we might have had time to build a city after all, the way you work! It is beautiful, Esgaron - truly, you are a master of your craft," he said.

Esgaron smiled shyly with a pleased flush in his cheeks. "I'm glad you like it. It's no city, no, but I think it will do for the winter, and hardly too soon. Already, I can smell snow on the wind. And should we leave it come spring, perhaps other travelers might find use for it," he mused, but then looked down at Maglor from his perch. "Come, climb the ladder! Make yourself at home. I've made us some furnishings too. A bed, chairs, tables, shelves and basins... If I have forgotten anything, simply say the word." He paused, thoughtful. "...do you have any songs for new homes, Cano?"

"It is _beautiful_ , Esgaron!" Maglor said again, with all sincerity, as he set a careful hand to the ladder, shyly hesitant as if afraid it would vanish when he did. "You have outdone yourself."

Esgaron laughed to see Maglor hesitate. "Cano! Are you in doubt of my craft? The ladder is as solid as the tree itself. Come up, come up!" he urged, though Maglor did not yet ascend.

"A song for a new home?" Maglor mused, and after a pause, began to sing:

_"Home is where the heart is_  
_The open door, the glowing hearth_  
_The golden sun that warms the earth_  
_The comfort of a quiet berth."_

"A fitting song," Esgaron said, giving Maglor a warm smile. "Welcome home, Cano. At least for now."

At first, Maglor's breath caught at those words. How long had it been since anyone had given him a home, let alone welcomed him? But, then he shook his head and finally climbed up with a smile, still unable to vocalise his fears. _I still wonder sometimes when I will wake up._

Esgaron did not seem to notice, too eager to show off his work. "I'm sure the furs we get from the hunts will go a long way in making this more comfortable, but it will do for now. Here, let me show you some of its secrets," he said, leading Maglor inside, "See, here we can cook, but the fire is in no danger of harming the building or the tree. And, if want, you can move this so, and it will direct the heat to warm the floors or our water. The rain and melting snow will collect outside, and anytime we have need of it, just open this valve to take what you want. Should you wish to close any of the shutters, just pull this, and they will swing shut. Push it the other way to reopen it." He pointed at each feature in turn, demonstrating what he could. "So, it is more than just nice to look at. I just wish we had a good way to do a proper housewarming."

Maglor looked around in wonder as Esgaron explained. "It is a marvel. We could live here happily for a long time, and not just a season! As for a housewarming, I am content - we are only two, after all - and this a home fit for any king."

 _Well, technically there are two living here right now,_ pointed out Celegorm, _Three, if you count Maedhros' ghost._

_I gave up the High Kingship - ghost or no, I am no longer king._

_But Maglor still thinks of you as one,_ murmured the Ambarussa, _You were always a king to us._

"No homecoming could be warmer," Maglor said quietly.

Esgaron wrapped a friendly hug around Maglor's shoulders. "I am glad you're happy, though it is just a simple home for the two of us. We can live here as long as you want," he promised.

Their new home provided a backdrop of cozy warmth as they settled ever more into comfortable routine as the winds of winter started to blow, true to Esgaron's prediction. They still hunted together, and sometimes Esgaron, laughing like a child, tried to get Maglor to join him in the snows where he built everything from snow sculptures to snow buildings. Once, he even shaped the snow on the roof to make their house look like a castle from the days of Eregion.

With few small exceptions, Esgaron's lost memories showed no sign of return. But his affection for Maglor grew more evident with each passing day. Hardly one passed without a few tugs on each other's hair. Almost in contrast, as Esgaron got more comfortable, Maglor seemed to... withdraw slightly - although never entirely, and never so far as to be unwelcoming. Almost, one might have called him nervous or skittish (or even shy), despite his welcome smile and the way he permitted Esgaron liberties he would never have allowed anyone outside of his brothers or his closest kin. He could be coaxed into playing and once he relaxed, he seemed much happier, but for the most part he seemed content to watch Esgaron, eyes bright. 

There was the snowball fight one cold, but sunny, day. Esgaron had ambushed Maglor on the way back from a hunt, laughing gleefully as Maglor brushed the bits of snow off his cloak. Still, it couldn't go unanswered, so he lobbed one back at Esgaron, who ducked and wove among the trees, his delight ringing through the frigid air, breaking the wintry silence. Eventually, Maglor had managed to strike true, and found he was oddly distracted by how _bright_ Esgaron was, his hair lit with the pale sunlight while bits of snow melted into the golden tresses. Many more evenings were spent simply sitting near their fire, wrapped up tight against the chill.

But Esgaron's favorite thing seemed to be quietly curled up with Maglor, listening to him play. Sometimes he sang with him, sometimes he just listened, his hands busy with a new carving. The colder it got, the more he liked to indulge in this closeness.

Meanwhile, Maglor wrote music again, although he played the old songs, too. Light, hopeful tunes without words, often. Once or twice, he caught Esgaron watching him compose, those clear eyes shining with warmth until he looked away and busied himself with something else. 

Maglor was idly playing a not-so-old song one evening, this time one of the shush of moonlight-on-snow and ice on the water, winter's sleep. He had written that one for _peredhel_ twins who had never seen a heavy snowfall before.

"...this is nice, isn't it, Cano?" Esgaron was leaned up against Maglor's shoulder, just far back enough to not interfere with his playing, while he smoothed the edges of a carving. 

"Hm?" Maglor said distractedly, "... Aye, it is. Certainly, it is the most comfortable winter I have passed in many a long year."

The younger Elf frowned a little. "Then... Cano? Why is it you still don't seem comfortable with me? Have I done something? Or not done something? Whatever it is, I will try to make it right. Just tell me."

There was a startled blink, and that almost-shy flinch of his eyes from Esgaron's clear gaze (still too much like his grandfather for Maglor to be comfortable holding) and Maglor shook his head. "Ah... no, no! It is not you, Esgaron. You have done naught wrong. I am just... being silly, I suppose. It's nothing," he tried to assure him.

Esgaron smiled gently, and for just a moment fondly rested his forehead against Maglor's. He remained close, though, even after he pulled back.

"Oh, my dear Cano... I know you fear the Doom upon you, and that you are haunted by the ghosts of your past. But, I know that you care for me. And in truth, there is no one in my life now that I care for more than you. I was washed upon that shore with nothing. And then I had you. So, please, Cano. Fear the Valar if you must, but I don't want you to be afraid of me. I will never harm you."

He lightly stroked Maglor's cheek, a gesture meant to segue into a familiar affectionate tug on his hair, but... Some other instinct took over, and before Esgaron quite knew what was happening, his lips touched Maglor's. The kiss was sweet and tender, and very brief, for the moment he realized what he was doing a split second later, he pulled back as suddenly as if burned. He clapped a hand over his mouth, eyes wide in shock, blushing so hard even the tips of his ears were red. Maglor froze at the kiss, eyes wide and started, and his blush was as bad as Esgaron's own. But, it was too late, the damage done, and Esgaron looked away in shame.

"I-I'm sorry, Cano. I shouldn't-- I should not have done that. That should not have happened. It's wrong, I know. I didn't mean-- I was not thinking. I'm so, so sorry, Cano. I... I am an empty-headed idiot. Please, if we could just... forget that happened and continue unchanged... that... that would probably be for the best..." His stammers trailed off.

Before Maglor could quite stop himself, a hand went to catch Esgaron's sleeve, and that touch on his sleeve kept Esgaron from pulling back completely.

"I... no, do not apologise. I did not... I did not realise. I... it was..." Maglor tried to say, and then spoke very quietly and shyly, "It was not... unwelcome. I only... I did not... I felt it would be... I thought I would be taking advantage."

 _Over 6,000 years old and still gets tongue tied,_ sighed Ambarussa.

His cheeks were still red, but Esgaron smiled faintly. "Advantage?" he repeated. "Cano, I am missing pieces of my past, but that does not mean I cannot decide my own future. I created this home for us, so I am weak no longer." He bit his lip, still tingling from the kiss. "But, Cano... You were wed. And that means you should be beyond any such attention from me. Surely, if they knew, the Valar would damn us both for breaking such a law. I... I cannot replace her, Cano..." Esgaron blinked and then laughed suddenly. "Oh, and now I see it. This is your Doom come to pass, Cano. But if the evil end we come to, the betrayal of the women we once knew, is a love we should not share in the eyes of the Valar, then I will take it and be glad for it. But only if you wish it."

"I was." Maglor nodded, a shudder at the memory wracking through him but... it was... easier, with Esgaron there. "And by my own hand I slew her and her family. Even if she should be reborn, I cannot see her forgiving me - and e'en if by some strange chance she does, I cannot return to her, Exile that I am. I... are we not parted as surely as King Finwë and Miriel were?" He looked at Esgaron in desperation. "But you... Esgaron, you washed ashore with nothing save me. It is... it is entirely possible that what you feel is... is not true, only... it might... you..." _Spit it out already!_ he chided himself. "I... fear you are attached to me only because I am all you know, without your memories to tell you different. It... it would be wrong for me to take advantage of that, irregardless of my wants in the matter."

"Cano, if I did not wish your company, I could have abandoned you for the Silvan. They welcomed me as a lost brother, not a stranger. I could prove the southron king still lives, perhaps even have built them a city and made them my people. But I returned to you and stay with you because I like being at your side," Esgaron pointed out. His hand found Maglor's and rested gently upon it, those clear eyes bright and earnest. "Now, tell me, Cano... Forgetting all else, putting aside Dooms and Oaths and lost memories, what is it you desire? What are your wishes and wants?"

"I..." Maglor shook his head, almost frantic, even trapped. "I... should not. I... do not deserve to be happy." He tried again. "I..." Slowly, he lifted his eyes to meet Esgaron's, and beneath the fear and the grief and the desperation, aye, there was love. "I only want you to be happy."

 _Yep, still can't say it,_ Caranthir sneered, rolling his eyes.

" _Cano._ " For just a moment, Esgaron was once again a king, a battle commander, his voice ringing with authority. "I know it is hard after so many years of telling yourself otherwise, but I do not want you living in fear anymore. It would make me a lot happier if you stopped being so hard on yourself. You have sung me the Noldolantë, I know your past. You gave me shelter, and now I have built one for you. I am willing to consider the debts between us settled. And still I am here." 

That tone, it was so like his brother, so like his father, and Maglor stilled, obediently, blinking shyly at Esgaron, panic attack successfully headed off. 

Esgaron softened. "Know that I love you, Cano. But whether you accept it as a kinsman, a friend... or something more... I leave that choice in your hands. Ignore what has happened this day and act no further upon it, and we continue as we have. But, it is not in our nature for these stirrings to simply vanish. If you should decide it best for them to be expressed... Then, the next kiss is yours to give," he said, and started to pull away.

"I..." Maglor chewed his lower lip and then, unable to bring himself to say anything, so shyly (as if still expecting to be turned away, to wake up), he leaned forward to press a kiss to Esgaron in turn.

Esgaron blinked, not having expected Maglor to kiss him so _soon._ Perhaps after a few weeks or days, not a mere moment. But he did not shy away or pull back. This was what he wanted, after all. So, Esgaron moved into the kiss, let it linger, easing into it carefully. He sighed softly against Maglor's lips, causing his lips to soften in turn, almost parting them. His arms wrapped around Maglor, holding him close, fair fingers running lightly through dark hair. It became a long, tender kiss, all the quiet longing rising to the surface and quiet no more. Maglor gained confidence when he neither woke nor was pushed away, but still, he kept it gentle, still shy and uncertain for entirely different reasons to Esgaron, hand going up to tangle fondly in golden locks. When it ended, Esgaron rested his forehead against Maglor's, his expression sheepish.

"Lovers it is, then," he agreed, "Just so you know, Cano, I do not know the steps of courtship well. I may need your guidance. But anything you want of me... is yours."

The sheepish smile was returned with a quiet, shy one - still a bit more real than many of the ones that he often presented to the world, and Maglor shrugged a little, wryly. "And for me it has been more than Two Ages of the world. I... want to do this properly, or at least, as properly as we can, considering I have no kin left who would claim me, and yours do not yet know you live. We could tell them, you know. If you wanted," he offered.

Esgaron frowned slightly, considering Maglor's offer. "Tell me true, Cano. Would you believe they would be glad for us, and welcome the both of us with open arms? Or would they condemn us in anger and shock, turn one or both of us away until we came to our senses?" he asked. "I... I do not want to live in the shadow of their fury. I would rather be happy in silence. But I trust what you think would be right. Because I, for one, am not coming to any further senses."

Maglor chewed on his lower lip and shrugged helplessly after a long moment. "Truly I do not know? Your mother... Galadriel always saw clearer and further than many. I do not know if she even now guesses that you live - if she does and I withhold that knowledge from her, she may hate me for more than winning your heart. But your father... Celeborn has good reason to hate us. Even so, he is your father. Celebrían I do not fear that she would turn either of us aside, although her husband may have good reason to protest."

 _Poor Elrond,_ teased the Ambarussa, _Most complicated family tree in all of Arda._

Maglor sighed tiredly and leaned forward to lean against Esgaron again. "I want to do this properly, which does involve me asking them for permission, at the least."

For a little while, Esgaron just quietly held Maglor, listening to the wind outside. "...the snows are deep and the winds cold, Cano," he observed. "Would you have us set out now to see them and ask their blessings? Perhaps it would be the more prudent to send word instead and offer to visit in the spring, if they will have us. If we are given silence or harsh words, at least the effort will have been made without us needing to leave home..."

With the wall that kept him silent now cracked, Maglor was almost cuddly - certainly the distance he put between them was gone, and he seemed content to simply _be._

"You speak wisdom," he agreed, "But how would we send such a message? The Silvan do not travel in this weather, I do not think, and we are past the time for the trading caravans to pass nearby."

Esgaron smirked a little, suddenly very reminiscent of his mother. "It is not only the races of Middle-earth who can carry messages, Cano. There are birds here who do not flee the winter. Even the trees themselves can speak to those who know how to listen. The waters of the earth, the blowing winds. Messengers are all around us, Cano, if we care to ask their aid," he said. "Truly, the birds may be easiest. Some may permit a message tied to a leg to carry forth." He tapped his lip thoughtfully. "Do you wish to send it now? Or shall we simply spend the evening keeping each other warm against the chill?"

There was a soft chuckle and Maglor moved just enough to brush his nose against Esgaron's. "The Sindar and the Silvan may speak to bird and tree, but Maglor is Noldo, and that skill I do not have. I may charm them from their nests, 'tis true, but speech was my brother's gift, not mine. But it is a good idea. 'Tis late now though - I am happy to wait 'til the morning," he said.

Esgaron nuzzled him back. "How lucky for you to have me, then. But, here. Let me warm you." 

He ensured the harp and carving tools were well out of the way, and then embraced Maglor close, stroking his hair. At first, he seemed content just to hold him, but soon his lips found Maglor's again, sweet and soft. Maglor made a small contented noise and tugged them both back to curl up together in their furs. Esgaron's kisses he answered with his own, but he kept them light, not pressing. 

Softly, Maglor began to sing:

_"Tho winter's storms they rage outside_  
_Inside the home is warm_  
_For greater than fire in glowing hearth_  
_Burn strong the flames of love."_

Snuggled up with him in their bed, Esgaron rested his head on Maglor's shoulder, the bright gold of his hair a stark contrast with Maglor's dark locks, like the first rays of dawn breaking through the night. His touch and kisses remained chaste and gentle. He smiled and nuzzled Maglor affectionately when he sang.

"Is that a new song, Cano? Or an old one?" he asked.

"I will need to get you a ring," Maglor mused thoughtfully, playing idly with where their hair lay mingled together. "All my songs are a little old - the tunes are already there, you see. But these lyrics are new - they are always the hardest part to fit."

"...and you wrote them for me?" Esgaron was incredulous. "Cano... I..." He blushed a little. "That was when I knew, you know. I watched you writing music again, and for once, you didn't look sad anymore. You seemed happy. At peace. There was a light I had never before seen in you. And to think that I helped, even in a small way, to bring that to you, well... I knew I wanted to keep doing it. Keep that little light of happiness bright. Because I loved you."

"I found them for you." Maglor nodded cheerfully, happy to talk about the music he loved so much. "The tunes are always there - you just have to work out which ones are the right one to use," he explained. "Your song is so special, I wanted... ...I wanted to write for you ever since you came back," he admitted shyly, "But the words I wanted to use would have been... I had no right to use them."

Esgaron took Maglor's hand where it was playing with their hair, and wrapped one of his long, fair locks around their index fingers. "There, Cano. Rings of gold. One for you, and one for me."

The sight of gold on their fingers drew a flash of Maglor's eyes and the resulting kiss was a little more passionate that earlier ones had been. Esgaron met his kiss eagerly, pressing all the more tightly against him. Maglor hummed happily into the kiss and pulled away only reluctantly, leaning against Esgaron briefly before going back to playing with his hair, reminding himself that they were not even formally plighted, yet. 

"Moving a little swiftly there, little king - silver first, I think!" Maglor admonished gently.

"Had I silver to present, I would, Cano, but I have only gold," Esgaron said. "We will have proper tokens in time. That you have written me a song and wish to marry me at all is a great joy to me." For a little while, he lay content with his beloved, thinking about what he said. "Perhaps a small part of me knew. When I returned from the Silvan... I was so broken, so sick with grief... I was certain it had been a mistake I survived the waters--one I should have put right. But you cared for me. You gave me a reason to stay," he mused. "Are the words you sang now the ones you wanted? And if not... Might I hear them?"

"It... isn't truly finished yet," Maglor admitted, "I wanted... I would have written it for the day you finally left. But now..."

Shyly, he began to sing once more:

_"Love, I watched you and wondered why_  
_You did not seek to run_  
_Love, I saw it in your eyes_  
_A light outshining the sun_  
_When is the time for love to be born?_  
_It slips in without a sound_  
_It wears a gentle face and yet_  
_Its strength remains unbound..."_

Maglor broke off and shrugged shyly, reiterating, "It is not yet complete."

The tune, Esgaron realized, was the one Maglor had been slowly stringing together all winter - the one which had sounded so shyly hopeful and so terribly sad all at once, but the sadness was gone from it now. He gasped to recognize that tune.

"That... That song has been for _me?_ " he asked, half in disbelief. 

"Yes?" Maglor shrugged shyly - he did not normally like to share things that were incomplete, but Esgaron asked, and the song _was_ his so... 

"Cano... I don't know what to say... Except... I love you."

The kiss Esgaron gave Maglor was heartfelt, and perhaps more eloquent than anything spoken aloud. There was an undercurrent of raw passion, carefully restrained, but still evident in how tightly his fingers tangled in Maglor's hair, the breathlessness behind his lips, the way his unentangled hand slid down Maglor's back. The kiss was answered fire for fire, Maglor tugging Esgaron close. There was a shadow of want in those clear eyes of Esgaron's when he finally pulled back, a noticeable flush rising in his cheeks. Maglor's eyes were lit bright enough to mimic his brother's silver, rather than his own more somber grey when he backed away as well and his smile was a little shaky, maybe.

"Ah... The hour grows ever later. We should probably take our rest now," Esgaron mumbled.

"We should, or I am liable to forget that I want to do this properly," Maglor agreed.

"I eagerly await the day you finish it so I might hear it in full," Esgaron said, giving Maglor one more fond kiss. "Rest well, Cano. Tomorrow we can begin to do this properly."

Esgaron nestled down comfortably, folding his hands over his chest, slipping into reverie. He preferred reverie to sleep whenever possible now, but sometimes he still fell into a slumber despite his best efforts. That night was one of those nights, and within a few hours, his eyes closed, the still body went slack and his breathing turned deep. He was fortunate in that he was not haunted by dark dreams this time. Rather, they seemed far more pleasant, judging from their effect upon his body. Maglor did not sleep easily or well - even reverie was uneasy, although it had been better with Esgaron there of late. He watched Esgaron fondly for a while when he dozed off, before getting up and moving to the desk. His harp he kept by him, but that night, at least, he did not need to play, although he flushed a little at the evidence of where Esgaron's thoughts led him.

Picking up a quill, Maglor began to write.


	5. It's All So Close, And Yet So Far

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maglor sends the letters to Amroth's surviving kin, but temptation grows in the meantime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 0\. Some make-outs and suggestive dialogue, but nothing actually all that steamy.  
> 1\. No, I have no shame borrowing chapter titles from Disney song lyrics.

Esgaron had become accustomed to Maglor getting up before him on those nights when he slept, and the next morning was no different. Upon waking, he bathed, sponging himself clean with a cloth, as was usual for him, rather than daring immerse himself, hoping to settle the effects of his sleep. As had become his habit, he did not fully dress immediately afterward, still naked to the waist while waiting for his damp hair to finish drying. There were still visible scars from the injuries he sustained during his near-drowning, many faded to a silvery-pink, and somehow doing little, if anything, to detract from his beauty.

He came up behind Maglor, wrapping him in an affectionate hug, kissing his cheek, trying to not drip water onto him.

"Good morning, Cano. Have you begun the letters to send to my kin?" he asked.

By the time Esgaron came to say good morning, Maglor was well on his way with the letters, and he reached up from the kiss to tug him down for a better one. Esgaron laughed softly when Maglor pulled him down so their lips met rather than just against his cheek, but he was happy to kiss him either way. The scars didn't bother Maglor - he got swiftly used to seeing such on Maedhros, and never thought that they detracted from his brother's beauty, and on Esgaron they were only enhancements, to his mind. 

"Good morning." Maglor smiled into the kiss and laughed softly. "Aye, sleepy head - while you were abed, I had a good start at it."

Galadriel's had been both the easiest and the hardest to write in some ways - Maglor knew his cousin well, but he knew _Artanis_ , not Galadriel, and he did not know how she thought any longer, nor how she would receive such a message, although he might have guessed near the mark, he hoped. Celeborn's though... and he must address both, he knew, but it was difficult to know how to address a man whose family he had slaughtered.

"You like watching me sleep. You have done it every time since you pulled me into the cove," Esgaron teased fondly. 

"I do," Maglor admitted cheerfully. "I do not sleep much, myself, so I might as well enjoy the quiet." _And the view,_ he added to himself, sneaking another once-over at Esgaron's half-dressed form.

Esgaron looked over Maglor's shoulder to peer at the letters, reading the words filled with apology, hope and love for him. "Do you think they will believe you? I'm sure this is the first anyone has heard from you in thousands of years, and everyone believes me dead and drowned. And yet, by some strange force of chance, here we are together. I... had the thought that perhaps I could send with them locks of my hair, so they might recognize it as mine. Proof that I am with you. What do you think?"

"Mm, I think Galadriel would know - somehow she always seems to, but certainly it can do no harm. She knows I live, too, I am certain - I do not dare Lothlórien's borders, only those of Imladris, and even then only rarely. And yet... I have sometimes thought I was watched, and as great as Elrond has grown I do not think he had such power, although I could be wrong," Maglor mused.

Another thought entered Esgaron's mind once more, and he bit absently at his lip. "Cano... If they don't accept us... What then? Will you still have me without their blessings? If they should refuse to see us wed?"

That thought brought a somber cast to Maglor's face and his hand tightened on Esgaron's. "I... do not know. It would not be the first time folk have wed against the wishes of their kin but... they are your family, and your mother has suffered such losses already, many of them at my hand. I... I love you, Esgaron, but I do not want to hurt her again either."

Despite the reassuring grip, Esgaron's eyes widened in that painfully stricken look Maglor had learned to recognize well: that of a painful lost memory making itself known once more.

"I... see..." Esgaron said. He ducked his golden head. "I... spent... years. Hundreds-- _thousands_ \--of years being told 'I don't know.' Being _wanted_ but evaded because she wasn't sure."

"Esgaron, I..." Maglor began, but he didn't get the chance to finish his thought.

He yanked on Maglor's hand, pulling him close, catching him with the other in a kiss. His mouth was open, hungry, desperately needy. His fingers dug in, clutching him as if afraid Maglor might slip through them. When Esgaron finally let go, he spoke in a soft, strained whisper.

"Cano... Without you, I feel so... so... incomplete. Please. _Please_ do not make me beg you for a 'yes'."

The kiss, the fire and the hungry need caught Maglor by surprise and when Esgaron pulled away, Maglor blinked up at him, dazed, before shaking his head and pulling him back down for something gentler.

"If that is what you want, then... very well. I will not leave you, Esgaron, even if your father tells us 'no'," Maglor promised softly. Because he was... reasonably certain that, after screaming and punching him a few times, Galadriel would probably say yes. Elrond would develop that 'My Life Is Suffering' Look, but it wasn't his approval Maglor needed to get, in any case.

Esgaron looked a little abashed. "I... did not mean to get carried away like that, but..." He wrapped Maglor up in a loving hug. "...thank you, Cano. It... it means a lot to me."

Maglor laughed softly at that, a low rumble of a chuckle, still a little rusty from disuse, and his eyes were bright. "I do not mind, but you had best have a care, Esgaron, lest I forget myself, if you must insist on tempting me so." But the kiss he pressed to Esgaron's head was gentle, and the words still a little shy. "I love you, Esgaron. I want you to be happy."

"And I you, Cano. I love you and want you happy too," Esgaron said. He blushed a little. "And you are as much a temptation for me, I am sure."

He paused as another thought occurred to him, the blush darkening and spreading over his fair features. "Ah... Cano? I know how a consummation works with a woman, but, ah... What makes it official for us?" Esgaron gave Maglor a smile two parts shy and one part sly. "Because I may wish to give you more than kisses before we are properly wed."

A startled blink, and Maglor flushed in turn, although the fire in his eyes did not go out.

"Tempting minx!" he gasped. "I do not know, in honesty." Although, now he was thinking about it. "I had not thought that far ahead. I wish now my brother was still alive! He might have been able to tell."

"Me, a tempting minx?" Esgaron gave Maglor an innocent look. Well. As innocent as a breathtakingly lovely, half-dressed, semi-damp Elf could look. Which was to say, not at all.

Esgaron cocked his head slightly at the mention of Maglor's brother. "He would know, you think? And he is not one whose words you yet hear? ...I suppose we'll discover it when we get there."

Maglor blinked in surprise - and there was ringing silence in his head for the first time in years, as his ghosts all stared in shock. "You... can hear them?" he asked, incredulous.

Esgaron shrugged. "Not precisely. But I have watched you. How your face changes, like you have heard something, or at least something different than what I have said to you. And those times I have heard you talk back when you think I am not paying attention. Clearly, it is not me you are talking to then, so I thought maybe someone else whispering in your ear. And you have said the beasts and trees do not speak to you, and the Valar have abandoned you. Who else remains?"

Maglor ducked his head a little at that. "I did not know I was so obvious - I suppose I had become accustomed to not having to watch my actions," he mumbled.

 _He's a sharp one, we like him,_ the Ambarussa piped up.

 _And, yeah, you should stop with the talking to the voices in your head, it makes you look crazy,_ offered Curufin cheerfully.

 _I thought he **was** crazy,_ snarked Caranthir, _Normal people don't talk to their dead brothers. And their dead brothers certainly don't normally talk back._

"But what I want..." Esgaron said, his voice half a purr, "I want to walk with you hand in hand. I wish to sing with you by the fire, and watch your face as the stars come out. I wish to dance with you under night skies. I wish to embrace you through the long winter nights and weave the first flowers of spring in your hair. To spend quiet afternoons in the haze of summer and see the first crisp breezes of autumn put color in your cheeks. I want to hear you laugh, and be your comfort when the horrors of night come out of their shadows. I want to feel your heartbeat in rhythm with mine."

He touched Maglor's cheek gently. "I wish to kiss you. Every." He kissed Maglor's cheek. "Inch." A kiss on the neck that time. "And, yes, when the time comes, I wish to make love with you, in sunlight and starlight, while great storms howl and crash outside as if determined to outdo our passions, and do so in vain for we will not be eclipsed," he said softly, "Is that so terrible a thing?"

And then all of Maglor's prior shyness was swept away in Esgaron's voice and words, and his eyes blazed bright and he almost growled as he pulled him back down when he was finished. "Terrible," Maglor accused fondly as he kissed him back soundly, "An absolute menace. You will be an absolute trial to me in this next year. I can see it."

Esgaron laughed a little, kissing back. "As long as you do not make me wait a year from the day we exchange silver rings. That we count our time from this past day is sufficient to me. I do not require a token to mark it. I love you no less from lacking one," he said, amusement still dancing over his lovely features. "But I fear I am a wicked distraction, aren't I? A minx _and_ a menace, you call me! Truly! Is there anything I can help with, or do for you?"

Maglor resolutely ignored every ghost in his mind and tugged Esgaron close again, pressing gentle kisses to where ever he was permitted. "I do not think I could wait that long - not with that silver mouth of yours giving me all sorts of ideas. One year from now it is," he murmured, "Are we sure I am the bard and not you? The only thing you need do, Esgaron, is stay with me, for I think I have forgotten how to be alone."

Esgaron ran his hands through Maglor's hair as he was kissed, letting him kiss wherever he liked, the feel of those lips against his skin making Esgaron's breath shorten and pulse quicken, every kiss like a bolt of lightning, shivers of pleasure running through him.

"A silver tongue is valuable for a king and commander, is it not? But... C-Cano... Ah..." he gasped, "Truly, you are the bard, not me, so skillfully do you already ply those clever hands and mouth over me as if I were one of your instruments! Even having Sindar blood does not make me your match, but, oh, my dear Cano, I will return the favor..." Esgaron's cheeks were flushed, his eyes bright. "...Perhaps I should finish dressing, or we may not make it through the day, never mind a year. Unless you prefer me this way, of course." 

It took effort to stop, especially with Esgaron pliant under his hands like that, but Maglor pulled away as well, his own eyes just as bright, cheeks just as flushed. "That... would probably be wise, although I like you this way just as well. We have yet to even send the letters!" he said.

Esgaron nuzzled Maglor once more before drawing back. "All right. Clothes can wait for a _little_ longer, provided we do not stray too far from the task at hand," he conceded.

"That will be difficult," Maglor observed wryly, "But, I will do my best. You asked me once if I compared you to a tree maid but you are fairer than many maidens of the Eldar." He smiled to show he was teasing. "I think I will blame your mother for that."

"That was the day I came back from the Silvan, was it not?" Esgaron paused, his expression shy. "...was that when you knew how you felt about me?"

"It was," Maglor admitted, and shot him a shy glance, "I ... you were broken, but so beautiful. I do not think it was then that I _knew_ , but it was then that I began to wonder what it would be like if you stayed."

Still, Esgaron looked at Maglor fondly. "I will be yours always. I would not want you to be alone again."

The hand tangled in Esgaron's hair gave a fond tug. "Good," Maglor said simply.

Esgaron's curiosity then got the better of him. "So... Your... brothers, are they? What do they think of... all this?"

The question about his brothers gave Maglor pause and he shrugged helplessly. "I... do not know if they are truly there, or if in my madness I conjured them or... if I was so lonely that I pretended until it became real."

 _Hey!_ protested Celegorm and he was ignored.

"I think they would like you, if they were real," Maglor continued.

 _He makes you smile,_ Maedhros sighed softly, _I do not like it, you know how tightly our Doom holds us. But if it makes you happy..._

"I am glad your brothers would like me. I am sorry I did not get to meet them in kinder days. I would hear your stories of them, though, for they are soon to be as my brothers as well," Esgaron said.

"I would have liked you to meet them too," Maglor said wistfully, "Not as they became, but as they were. You would have got along best with the Ambarussa I think - they were not so wild as Celegorm, but they were happier outside than they ever were in. And everyone who knew him loved Maedhros - he was impossible not to like."

Esgaron smiled, listening to him describe his brothers. "They sound wonderful. I wish I could remember my own family half as well." 

"I hope you will, in time," Maglor said softly. 

Esgaron peered at the letters still on the table. "...I feel I should contribute something to these letters... Some proof that I live and that I love you. But I do not know what... But they deserve a token, do they not? Knowing I yet live..."

Ah yes, the letters. Maglor returned his attention to them. "Well, you suggested a lock of hair, the last time. That might yet work. It is difficult, I think, because you do not truly remember them yet - perhaps just say as much? That you wish you could write more but you do not remember?"

Esgaron picked up the pen, and in each letter scratched out a few sentences, apologizing that he remembered so little, assuring the truth of Maglor's words, imploring forgiveness and pity so that the two of them might be happy with the blessings of their kin, while Maglor stood nearby, watching him write. Then, he fetched a knife, and cut a few strands each of his beautiful golden hair to enclose as proof.

"...what of your parents, Cano? You have spoken little of them. What can you tell me?" Esgaron asked, tucking the bright locks in with the letters.

"Mine? ... Fëanor was... a wildfire that engulfed everything in his path. You could not stop him, only divert him, for a time, and to stand in his way was to risk destruction. He was brilliant and driven and... he loved us, but it was... difficult. He was not an easy person to like, but he was easy to love." Maglor spoke softly. "I miss him, and I love him, and I hate him, in equal measure."

His part in the letters done, Esgaron curled up next to Maglor, wrapping an arm around him. "I am sorry to hear that, Cano. And... What of your mother? Fëanor and his sons may be the stuff of legend, but I do not think I have ever heard anything of her. But... to have a son like you, I imagine she was kind and gentle."

Maglor dropped a kiss against the golden hair next to him and his voice was suspiciously flat and controlled. "Mother was Father's match. Indeed, I do not think you could have found another more suited, not if you searched for all the Ages of Arda. She was his rock, his anchor. She was wise and kind, gentle and stern. She had a skill with stone that made her sculptures seem alive! But she had a temper too - not Fëanor's explosions, but something slow burning and deadly. They were both equally stubborn."

Esgaron heard that change in Maglor's tone and looked at him, concerned. "...are you all right, Cano?"

Maglor's eyes were suspiciously bright, and he shook his head. "It's nothing. I just. Miss her." _And I will never see her again._

Esgaron wrapped him in a tight hug. "Does... does she still live?"

Maglor turned to bury his face in Esgaron's hair. "Yes. At least. I assume so."

 _Unless she died of grief when she learnt what happened,_ agreed Maedhros.

"She did not follow father so... she should still be living in Tirion, unless she went to live with Grandfather Mahtan," Maglor explained.

Esgaron kissed Maglor's temple, cradling him close. "Then, if word should reach her, I hope she smiles for us," he said gently.

If Maglor cried, he did so silently, but perhaps Esgaron's shoulder was a little damp. "If any news might reach her, I hope so," Maglor agreed.

Esgaron held him all the more tightly, running fingers through dark hair, kissing wherever his lips might reach. So much for his hair and skin being dry. "Oh, Cano... Cano... I'm sorry, _mell nín._ I did not mean to upset you. I love you. I'm here. I'm yours," he murmured.

This scar was an old one and although he wept, the tears were silent and soon enough, Maglor was reaching up to kiss Esgaron back, needy and a little desperate. "I love you too. I don't... know how I managed this long without you," he breathed.

Maglor's kisses stoked the embers of want in Esgaron, and the tiny tongues of fire were evident in the answering hunger of the kisses he gave in return. Breathless, he brushed fingers over Maglor's cheeks, gently wiping away his tears, before kissing him again and again. "...It seems we need each other, then... do we not?" he whispered. That those clear eyes glowed with want was proof enough that two meanings could be taken from his words.

They fed into each other really, and it took a good deal of effort to remember that _NO,_ Maglor wanted to to this properly, and Maglor's breathing was short, and his cheeks flushed as he tried to pull away. He might have been more successful if Esgaron weren't looking at him like that. 

"We do." Maglor was almost trembling from the effort of pulling back.

It was just as difficult for Esgaron too, to be honest, thank you. His skin was feeling almost like every touch created a current. But he closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath, trying to tamp his desires back down. He chuckled very softly under his breath. "My beautiful Cano... Eru as my witness, I don't know how I will make it through a year without joining with you." 

Maglor snorted and resisted the urge to kiss Esgaron again. "Of the two of us, I think you are mixing up who would be considered beautiful. But that year is going to be a sore trial - I think I should have insisted you got dressed again, you are far too tempting that way," he said dryly.

Esgaron, too, needed to resist the temptation for another kiss. "You are more than beautiful in my eyes, Cano." Maglor flushed at that.

Esgaron paused. "...are the letters ready to be sent, then?" Yes, good, back to the important task at hand. That was a good distraction, right?

"They are, I think. There is little more we can add - no doubt if there is anything they truly wish to tell us in return they will find a way," Maglor agreed. But, yes, good, letters, it was much better to talk letters and think about cold showers.

Esgaron nodded and got up to put on a shirt and shoes, plus a cloak to protect him from the cold outside, and Maglor's eyes followed him before he forced himself to concentrate on sealing the letters and rolling them up into tubes.

"We will need to call our messengers, then. If you can truly call forth the birds from their nests, now would be the time to do so. I can speak to them from there," Esgaron said.

"Well, if there are any awake in this cold, I suppose. Let us find out?" Maglor suggested. He didn't bother with the harp, only stepping outside and listening for a bit, before lifting his voice in song. He didn't bother with words, but the tune was a shy coaxing, a fawn peering curiously around its mother - _Come down?_

It took a bit, but soon a few curious birds flitted over to the Elves. Esgaron took the messages, speaking softly to the birds in a mix of their own speech and his _sanwe-latye._ Kind entreaties, gentle pleas. Soon the birds allowed him to affix the missives to their legs, and off they flew. "And word is on its way, Cano," Esgaron announced. He shivered a little as an icy wind whipped down on them. "I fear it is too cold to do much out of doors. Perhaps we could curl up close by our fire?"

Maglor watched admiringly and when Esgaron shivered, he wrapped his arms around him in a hug and nodded. "Mm, that sounds a good idea, although I will need to go hunting again soon, I think, but it can wait a little. I am no woodsman, but I wonder if we are not due another storm soon."

Nestling into that embrace, Esgaron closed his eyes, listening for a moment to the sounds of nature. The cold wind. The creak of the trees. The occasional animal. Then he opened them again. "We are due for such a storm. A few days from now. It will warm a little between now and then, but that will only make the coming snow heavier. We may not be able to leave our house for several days," he mused. "Would you have me hunt with you, Cano? Or simply be ready at home with a hot meal, warm hearth, and such ready to comfort you from the chill?"

Maglor again watched admiringly and kissed the side of Esgaron's neck. "Both sound appealing, in truth - I will let you decide. But if we are to both go, we will need to wrap up warmer then this, I think! And soon, too. The days are shorter and we must be approaching the warmest part of the day soon."

Esgaron considered for a moment, laughing a little as the kiss tickled. "I will come. The two of us together can bring back more provisions than either of us could alone, and I do not know next when we will not be snowed in. Let us go back in and get ready. It will be very cold before we know it." He gave Maglor a swift kiss, and then led them back inside, where he started layering on his clothes and gathered his hunting gear.

They had a well-established routine by this time - Esgaron tracked and Maglor followed, and if Maglor's arrows were less sure to the mark than Celegorm's or the Ambarussa's long ago, he learnt to compensate for his hands well enough to still strike true. Winter pickings were lean, but between them they would have enough to do them for a while, at least.

As he swiftly field-dressed their quarry, Maglor called Esgaron down from the trees and kissed him once his feet touched the ground again. "I think we have done well enough - it grows late and the winds are picking up. Shall we go home?"

Although he had moved silently, climbing and crawling through snow-laden branches had, despite his many layers, practically soaked Esgaron to the skin. Bits of snow kept melting into his golden hair. He accepted the kiss to warm his lips, and nodded. "Yes, let's go home. Build the fire high and cook something hot before this chill seeps into my very bones."

Once inside their house again, Esgaron first moved to stoke their fire, relishing the warmth. "Ahh, that's better." He turned a roguish smile on Maglor. "We really should get out of these wet things now. You do not need any help, do you?"

Maglor was not his cousins who braved the Ice, but he did not much like the cold either, not after Himring, and he was only too glad to come in by the fire and he had, in fact, started to divest his layers when Esgaron spoke. "Tease," he said fondly, and with no small degree of heat, "I should ask you the same! You look more like a drowned kitten than an Elf-lord at present. How you are even more soaked than me, despite you being in the trees, I will never know."

At first, there was an uncertain flicker in Esgaron's eyes at Maglor's chosen description, brief enough he was not sure if Maglor noticed it, but then his expression became one of mock indignation. "A drowned kitten, he calls me! Well, Cano, by all means, let us see _you_ crouching, crawling and slithering through snow-laden branches without making a stir and see how dry you are by the end!" He laughed to show no true anger, and began peeling off the outermost of his wet garments, throwing a not-so-innocent glance in Maglor's direction. "Truly, these layers stick together so, you would think me soaked in tree sap. If help is being offered... I shall not turn it away."

"Hm, and yet it must seem a lighter path than the one slogging through snowdrifts down below and waiting in the bushes," Maglor teased back. His gaze was full of heat but he laughed softly and threw his cloak in Esgaron's direction, even as he divested himself of his shirts. "And if I start helping, I think I will not be able to stop!"

Esgaron continued stripping off wet layers, pausing just to catch the cloak. "Perhaps I would not _wish_ you to stop." Eventually, he stripped down to the skin, wrapping himself up in a dry, warm blanket. "I suppose asking you to come warm me up is not allowed either?"

Maglor had, apparently, entirely forgotten about changing in favour of watching the strip show going on in front of him, and he blinked and shook his head with a low laugh, going back to his own clothes. "You are a right menace, Esgaron - such a trial you must have been to your parents. I am glad, Galadriel deserves a little revenge inflicted on her!" he laughed. "Let me get dressed again first, for you really are far too much of a temptation."

Esgaron did wait, fetching them a little supper before sitting close by the fire. When Maglor came near, he gave him an apologetic smile. "I am sorry, Cano. I must seem so impatient, so determined to undermine your good intentions to do things properly, rushing into things in only a few days. Perhaps I am impatient. It is just... Once I _was_ patient, for so many, _many_ years, and all that patience came to nought. I know you have promised me we will stay together, regardless of the answers we get, but... With your past and mine... I fear if I do not make you mine quickly, I will be too late and you will slip through my fingers. I... I do not want that to happen. I want to be yours for as long as I can."

Dressed again, Maglor came over to wrap him in a hug and pressed a kiss against that smile. "Never apologise. But you deserve better from me than a hasty affair, I feel. Although at this rate I do not know if I will last the year. At least 'til the spring... I would see you with the flowers in your hair."

Wrapped tightly in his blanket, Esgaron leaned into Maglor, his kisses sweet. "It might be more bearable had we a way to sate our wants of each other without it coming to our vows. Surely there is something between kisses and consummation, but I do not know where that line is," he admitted. "But, if not... I shall strive to be content with kisses and thoughts of what is to come."

There was a soft huff and Maglor kept the kisses light and sweet, teasing. "I, as well. And I dare not risk crossing that line accidentally early. Like you, I suppose we will both have to practice restraint, eh? Which will be hard when you sit there, haloed in golden light like Laurelin herself. You may not remember being Amroth, but a very king you look in any case, and king of my heart, I think, you will remain."

"Oh, so I am king once more? Not your little lost drowned kitten foundling?" Esgaron laughed, teasing gently. "Ah, my Cano." The blanket opened a little as he reached to stroke Maglor's cheek. "My golden-voiced raven. What a pair we make, hmm?"

"I think you will always be both, to me." Maglor leaned into the hand, eyes bright, and then turned to kiss Esgaron's palm. "A strange pair indeed. I only hope my Doom is truly sleeping, for I still fear to wake and find this but a dream." _Or worse,_ the wicked whisper inside him murmured.

"I will not leave you, Cano. If it is a dream, it is a very good one," Esgaron promised.

"One I would never wake from," Maglor agreed.

After they had both supped, and he was snug in Maglor's arms, golden head against his shoulder, the younger Elf idly began to hum. A gentle, sleepy sort of tune, soft and sweet as a lullabye. Stars twinkling down through a silvery haze. Though he had not sung it for Esgaron, nor even for Amroth, it was one Maglor would recognize. One he used to sing and play for his little cousin Artanis when she was very small. Evidently, at some point, she had passed it on to her children. There was a catch as he heard a melody long consigned to memory and then slow and shy, Maglor started the countermelody, weaving in and out in support. Esgaron smiled contentedly as their song intertwined, though it seemed to be having the intended effect as the blond Elf grew drowsy.

"We will always make beautiful music together, my Cano..." he murmured softly.

"I look forwards to it," Maglor whispered back.

It didn't take Esgaron long to fall asleep, evidently too weary for reverie. The whole night he slept, Maglor watched him fondly, holding him close and listening to the sound of his breathing. And during the night, the snows came.


	6. I'll Be There When The Storm Is Through

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snowed in, the two must come up with something to occupy themselves...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 0\. YAY, ACTUAL SMUT IN THIS CHAPTER. Well, as close as we'll be getting for a while, anyway. Nothing penetrative, just a couple handjobs, cute intimate bathing, things like that. Lots of cute, fluffy moments, a little PWP-ish.  
> 1\. Amroth/Esgaron does display some PTSD-like symptoms. No major freakouts, but it's there.  
> 2\. Maglor gets kind of angsty at the end, but still largely an adorable chapter.

The snows that fell overnight were heavy, sealing them into their home for what would likely be several days, so Esgaron noted. "We will not be going anywhere for a while, Cano... How shall we pass the time?" he asked.

Come the morning, Maglor was up and watching the snow fall when Esgaron woke, and he turned and came back to his side to greet him with a kiss. "Mmn, that is the question, is it not? Most of what needs doing with the hides from our latest hunt we cannot do. I suppose I shall have to work on that song of yours, hm? Or did you fancy a game of Kings and Castles?" Maglor asked.

Esgaron gave Maglor a morning kiss back before he dressed. "Have you eaten yet, Cano?" he asked, pulling a tunic over his head.

Maglor hummed happily into Esgaron's kiss. "Not yet, I was waiting for you," he admitted.

"Then let me make you breakfast." Esgaron continued to tug clothing on. "Indeed, I expect we'll have time enough for all of those. With which would you like to begin?" he asked.

Maglor shrugged. "And I am happy to let you choose today's activities, I think. The snowfall looks heavy, we are likely to be stuck for a few days, at least." He ducked his head shyly. "If you... wanted to experiment a little... I... will not refuse you."

Esgaron stopped short at that last suggestion. "Are... are you sure, Cano?" he asked.

"Yes. No. I do not know. But I know it would make you happy. And... I do not think I would mind, if you do not," Maglor said with a shy shrug - he'd been thinking about it all night, after all.

Esgaron blushed, but he did have a curious, experimental streak from his Noldorin blood. He gave Maglor a long look, silver fire in his eyes. Then he cleared his throat and moved to the kitchen area. "Breakfast first, at least."

It was a simple fare: a rasher of meat, some nuts, fresh cool water from the snow melting from their warm home. Esgaron could hardly take his eyes off Maglor, shining with want. "You really must not tease so before breakfast. I had half a mind to put _you_ on this table," he said.

"Promises," Maglor teased softly back, but he helped with the breakfast and coyly refused to meet Esgaron's eyes the whole meal, mischief sparking up from somewhere. "Hm, and perhaps I shall change my mind? 'Tis cold, after all." He laughed softly and then escaped back out to the main room to make sure they had enough firewood.

Esgaron let Maglor check on their wood and kept the fire burning steadily before he wrapped his arms around him, nuzzling at Maglor's ear. "Then, let me warm you," he whispered.

He started with sweet kisses on Maglor's face: cheeks, brow, nose, ears. Light and teasing, until, after what seemed forever, kissing his lips, soft and sensual. Maglor laughed softly when Esgaron 'caught' him, and let him kiss him, teasing and trying to catch his lips in return. When they met, Maglor sighed happily into the kiss and deepened it, lips softening, pressing ever closer, hands coming up to tangle in Esgaron's golden hair. Esgaron's fingers twined themselves in Maglor's dark hair, too, as his lips parted against Maglor's. Lightly, almost delicately, did he trace his tongue along the edge of Maglor's lips. Esgaron's hands began to wander a bit, running down Maglor's back, fingers seeking the edges of his garments, hoping to find a way underneath. His kisses, meanwhile, strayed from Maglor's mouth and down his neck. Sweet and gentle, it seemed, and Maglor let Esgaron explore as he liked, one of his hands tracing an ear gently. 

Eventually, Esgaron pulled back for air with a slightly sheepish look. "You know, I have never done anything like this before. I am not really sure where to begin. But I want to make you happy. I wish to give you pleasures. ...what did you enjoy before?" he asked.

Maglor blinked when he was asked, and chuckled sheepishly. "I... it has been so long now. I... hm." 

_He likes being told what to do,_ offered Ambarussa cheerfully, and Maglor sighed internally and kept his face blank.

"My ears are sensitive," Maglor remembered, "And, my hands were... before." Not that he could feel much these days, as bad as the burns were on the right. "And..." He gave Esgaron a little teasing smirk and he leaned forward and hummed a soft tune into the pulse point of Esgaron's neck as he kissed him there, and nipped gently.

Esgaron gasped at the nip against his neck, silver fire leaping into his eyes. With a faint growl in his throat, he nipped back against Maglor's neck, then moved up to his ear, running his tongue along the shell and nipping at the lobe. He trailed a hand teasingly down Maglor's chest, and whispered into his ear, "What about the rest of you?"

Maglor laughed softly at the growl and tipped his head to give Esgaron better access with a pleased hum, the attention paid to his ear getting a soft mewl, the hand in Esgaron's hair tightening. His own eyes were equally bright as he answered teasingly, "Mm, but if I tell you everything, does that not spoil the fun of finding out?" It was then that Maglor noticed that they had somehow backed up against a wall. When had that happened?

Esgaron gave Maglor a wicked little smile of his own. "I see. Then I shall have to kiss every inch of you, my Cano, and discover your likes. Except you are entirely too overdressed for that. Care to remedy the situation, or must I do that as well?"

Maglor gave him teasing tip of the head. "But, love, it is so cold," he cooed, "How ever shall I survive without my many layers?" ...he only had a tunic on, anyway.

"I will keep you warm," Esgaron promised. He gave Maglor a long, smouldering kiss, followed by equally warm kisses on his ear and along his neck. "See?"

"Mmm, are you sure you have not done this before?" Maglor teased softly, and he undid the lacings... on _Esgaron's_ top. "And if I am to be without, it hardly seems fair for me to suffer alone, no?" He nuzzled along Esgaron's exposed collar bone.

"Truly, I am as innocent in such things as a newborn fawn," Esgaron said as he lovingly stroked Maglor's dark hair. "Indeed, it is not fair for you to suffer so." He peeled off his unlaced top, modesty never having been one of his concerns, and almost absently loosened the lacing on his pants. "Will you keep me warm as well, _Meleth?_ "

"Hmm, I can certainly try," Maglor hummed happily and pulled Esgaron in for a nice long kiss, hands wandering absently as he traced music notations over Esgaron's skin.

Esgaron kissed back, humming softly as Maglor ran his hands over his skin. He recognized those designs. "Mmm. And what symphony have you written upon me, Cano?" he asked.

Maglor sang softly:

_"Is this love then_  
_that opens its eyes?_  
_Or is this a dream still_  
_gone with morn's light?"_

"...Cano..." Esgaron stroked Maglor's cheek tenderly. "I love you so much. I am so grateful to be your song. I wish I had more to offer you in return. But, you get this. All of me."

Maglor laughed, soft and breathy. "It should be me saying that. You make me so happy, Esgaron. All I have is this broken and cursed soul, that anyone could love me... you gave me my hope back."

"And you gave me a new life. And new love," Esgaron said. He kissed Maglor again, more sweetly than passionately. "I want to see you smile like that all the time. But I will be there to hold you and comfort you when you cannot."

"I would give you anything in my power, love, if it made you happy," Maglor promised.

"You make me happy all the time, Cano. " Esgaron gently nuzzled and whispered in Maglor's ear, "Make me your instrument."

Maglor shivered a little at the nuzzle and trailed kisses down Esgaron's neck, nipping every now and then. "Show me how to play you, then."

Esgaron sighed a little at the kisses on his skin, running his fingers through Maglor's hair. "But in truth, I do not know what to show you, for I have never been played before. You will be the first to learn. But this... This is a fine start..."

"Then we will learn together, my golden one," Maglor whispered.

Esgaron nodded, equal parts nervous and eager.

At first, they shared kisses, mostly light and sweet along each other's faces and necks, Maglor working down first over Esgaron's bared chest. The younger Elf proved most responsive to Maglor's gentle hands and warm mouth, skin feeling like it came alive under his touch. It was far too warm in the house to blame the cold for the way Esgaron shivered when his lover brushed over his nipples.

But Esgaron was quick to reciprocate on Maglor himself, working the tunic over his head, kissing everywhere the dark-haired Elf would let him reach--neck, shoulders, chest, back, down each arm--punctuated with the occasional nips and licks. Every inch, as promised, even gently kissing those fingers and hands so badly burned. Even if Maglor could not feel them as well as he once did, Esgaron was sure he appreciated the gestures.

The more they explored each other, the brighter the silver fire in their eyes burned. The tension only seemed to increase as further clothing was shed and they moved from the wall to tumble naked into the furs on their bed. Though the risk grew greater of edging into territory they had promised to not yet enter-- _no,_ they would marry as properly as they could--Esgaron's want was far too great to stop until he had found a solution for the interim. Still, he was careful not to touch or be touched with anything other than hands and mouths. But that was still enough to open up many new delights. Esgaron learned with great surprise that he was _particularly_ sensitive along his inner thigh when Maglor lightly caressed him and planted an almost delicate kiss there, mewling like a kitten at such a touch, but that in itself was not enough to bring the release so desperately ached for.

Though at first nervous to touch where attention was so sorely wanted, Esgaron felt that if he didn't, he might well be driven to madness. He had promised to kiss every inch of Maglor, but... though tempted, the idea of kissing his lover's length, of wrapping his lips around him seemed _too_ intimate. Too dangerously close to making them wed then and there. He promised himself he would one day, just... not that day. But, surely just a _touch_ would be permissible, would it not? Carefully, almost gingerly, Esgaron closed his hand around Maglor's shaft, immediately rewarded with a ragged gasp on Maglor's lips, feeling him buck instinctively into the heat of his hand. A moment later, Esgaron felt the roughness of Maglor's scarred hand similarly tightening around him. Together, they soon discovered the joys that the clever fingers of musician and craftsman alike could bring though long strokes and sweet caresses, finally giving each other the longed-for pleasure they had sought before falling back into the furs.

Esgaron was too breathless and weak-kneed to worry about clean-up just at that moment as he rested beside his beloved. "I... do believe we have found what we sought. Not yet wed, but... sated for now," he gasped.

Maglor was curled almost around Esgaron, content and tired, and he breathed a soft, fondly amused huff into the golden hair. "Mm, it had been so long I had forgotten how such things could be. But it seems that we have both of us learnt many things today, and been well satisfied."

Esgaron was equally content and cuddly, all warm and comfortable next to him. He nuzzled absently. "So we have, yes. And to think there is so much more yet to learn. I look forward to it, especially if it is all so pleasurable." He sighed happily. "Hmmmm, how I love you, Cano."

"And I you, beloved." Maglor gave him a small kiss in return, feeling, yes, warm and comfy but undeniably messy... There was yet still the matter of clean-up... "We should run the bath, I think," Probably. Eventually. It was hard to move, seeing as he was quite comfortable right then.

Esgaron blinked. Oh. Yes. Baths should be a thing. But, oh, to drag himself up from their cozy afterglow... "...I suppose we should," he conceded. He grinned mischievously, but still hadn't actually moved yet. "Would you join me, Cano?"

There was a soft startled laugh as Maglor registered Esgaron's question. "Are you trying to tempt me again, Esgaron?" he teased with a nuzzle, "But, either way, we really should."

Well, Maglor was the taller of the two, if only by a smidgen, he mused as he sat up, even if Esgaron was at least as tall as his mother. On a sudden impulse of whimsy, Maglor scooped Esgaron up into his arms and carried him over to the bathing room. Esgaron let out a startled yelp to be picked up, but allowed Maglor carry him over, looking almost stupidly amused by the idea.

"Are you certain we are not to be wed this day, Cano, carrying me so as if I were your new bride?" he teased gently.

"Mm, well if we consider our activities practice, then so is this, hm?" Maglor countered.

But, it was time to get the bath going. Ever since his near-drowning, Esgaron had, hopefully understandably, shown a certain nervousness around water. It had lessened some since building the house and no longer using the natural streams and pools near the shore, but he had nonetheless developed a habit of using as little water as feasibly possible when washing. Although this was meant to be a more indulgent bath for two, he started acting a tiny bit hesitant as the water level rose above where he normally filled it. Seeing his hesitation, Maglor wrapped his arms around Esgaron and kissed him gently.

"I am here," Maglor said softly as water warmed from their fire filled the basin, "Will you be well, Esgaron? I can turn the water off."

For a moment, Esgaron just gripped Maglor tightly, eyes closed, taking slow, deep breaths. _It was just a bath. He would not be alone. Cano would not let him slip under. He would not let him drown._ Once calmed, Esgaron nodded.

"I will be all right. Just... not _too_ deep, please?" he asked.

Esgaron had the water off a short time later. It was a bit on the shallow side for a shared bath, but any deeper could have set off Esgaron's panic. He let Maglor go first, and then, very carefully, got in with him, his beloved's touch and presence going a long way to keep him calm.

"Take whatever time you need." Maglor waited until Esgaron was calm, content to simply hold him until then, and once they were both situated, he kissed him gently.

"It's much better with two," Esgaron said.

Maglor's grin was wry. "You only say that because you enjoy having someone to wash your back," he teased gently.

"I don't hear you complaining, Cano." Esgaron's posture was too stiff for him to be relaxed, but he leaned back against Maglor's chest, loosely wrapping his beloved's arms around his waist. 

"Mm, and you won't, love." Maglor kissed Esgaron lightly, hoping it would help with the relaxing. Oh, yes, kissing was helpful. Very soothing. Steadily, Esgaron's stiff posture began to ease.

"I know I asked you for this. And... I have thanked you for many things since the day I woke up in that cove. But... I want to thank you again. For understanding. It seems such a silly thing to be afraid of. A few inches of water. But you always make sure I feel safe," Esgaron said softly. 

"You never have to thank me, Esgaron. Not after everything you do for me in turn. And 'tis not at all silly, considering what you have been through. As much as I am grateful to have you in my life, if ever I meet Lords Ossë or Ulmo, I will have _words_ for choosing such a traumatic way of casting you ashore!"

Esgaron's stiff posture relaxed almost fully, and he even laughed at the idea of Maglor scolding the Valar. "At least be sure to thank Lady Uinen. I am sure it is by her grace we are sharing this moment together. Where I have you to wash my back, my hair... and wherever else you like."

Maglor chuckled softly, and he made a note in the air. "'Scold Lords Ulmo and Ossë, thank Lady Uinen.' Certainly, love, I will make sure to do so." Maglor dropped a soft kiss onto Esgaron's neck. "Well, I will be sure to scrub you down most thoroughly then, my golden one," he murmured.

Esgaron sighed contentedly, arching his neck to give Maglor better access. "Mmm, please do. Of course, you will have to let me do the same for you, _Meleth._ It is only fair." He lightly trailed wet fingers along Maglor's skin.

Maglor hummed a soft laugh and kissed up that temptingly arched neck, ending with nipping lightly at Esgaron's ear. "Fair is fair," he agreed. "Then we had best set to, hm? After all we would not want this lovely warm bath to grow cold!"

A soft groan never quite made it out of Esgaron's throat at Maglor's kisses. "Mm, Cano... You are making me wish to do more than wash you... Will you let me tend to you first?" Esgaron got a cloth and shifted carefully so they might switch positions.

Maglor chuckled. "Well then, I had best stop, hm? Or the water really will get cold. As it please you, love." He shifted and pulled his hair out of the way (noting to himself that it was getting too long again, perhaps he needed to trim it) so that Esgaron could get at his back. It took a bit of doing (and perhaps silly giggling), seeing as how there really wasn't that _much_ room in the tub, but they managed.

Yes, it was a bit awkward. Thank goodness for Elven grace. Esgaron almost slipped at one point, making him clutch Maglor in a moment of panic, but a few cuddles and kisses reassured him and he settled down enough to get to work. When things were finally nice and settled, Esgaron very gently and sweetly washed Maglor. He washed that lovely raven hair, those strong shoulders... Little kisses accompanied his touches, and when his arms wrapped around to wash his chest, Esgaron paused for a moment, hand over Maglor's heartbeat, feeling that reassuring rhythm. Back, stomach, thighs, the touch loving and sensual. Esgaron was certainly enjoying it, as Maglor could most likely tell with his beloved pressed so closely behind him. Esgaron nuzzled and kissed Maglor's ear before whispering into it: " _How is that, love?_ "

Maglor certainly could tell, and Esgaron was not the _only_ one enjoying it either, and Maglor shivered when Esgaron kissed his ear. "Mm, love, you are an absolute genius with your hands." Twisting, he reached to kiss Esgaron back properly and let his own hands wander. "And I feel like the laziest of creatures who is doing nothing to help you out in turn."

Esgaron kissed back eagerly, sighing against Maglor's lips as those musician's hands glided over his skin. "Oh, is it your turn to do me now? Or... do I need to finish you first?"

Maglor laughed softly into the kisses. "Such words he speaks," he teasesd, "Mm, well perhaps you should... finish me first..."

Esgaron chuckled, his voice low. "As you like, Cano." He kissed Maglor long and hungrily, his hand sliding along Maglor's body down to the juncture of his legs. Those clever craftsman's fingers wrapped firmly around Maglor's solid manhood, stroking him with a sure touch, but never rough. If Esgaron wasn't thoroughly aroused before, he was then. But his attention was entirely on Maglor. "Tell me when you're close, _mell nín_..."

" _Ai_ , Esgaron," Maglor groaned softly when he was touched, head dropping to rest against his lover, hands forgetting their own wandering to grip and hold, needing solidity to anchor himself against Esgaron's clever hands. Gasping softly, it really did not take him long. "A-ah, you undo me," he gasped.

"Already?" Esgaron sounded surprised. "It's all right, I have you." He kissed Maglor's brow, and got the cloth to keep the mess contained, but continued gently stroking him to climax. "I love you, Cano," he said with a soft kiss.

Maglor shuddered to completion silently (surprisingly, the singer never made a sound) and sighed into the kiss. "I feel the blushing virgin, being undone so swiftly, beloved, " he said, kissing back lazily, "You really have the most lovely hands."

Esgaron chuckled. "Blushing, yes. In fact, you are so very beautiful flush with fresh pleasure. But the virgin I remain until we are wed. ...though until then, I would be most welcoming of your touch..." He gave Maglor a hopeful look, his body almost painfully aroused.

With a soft laugh of his own, Maglor went back to wandering with his hands, teasing gently by refinding some of those sensitive spots from earlier before taking Esgaron in hand. "Tell me how you like it, love."

Esgaron moaned as Maglor teased him, his arousal so intense, that by the time Maglor's touch wandered over to grip him, it wasn't just the bath water making him glistening wet, and he gasped to feel his lover's touch. "It's..." His breath hissed between his teeth. "...s-sensitive... Not... Not too rough..." He groaned under the caresses. "Ahhh, f-faster... Oh, Cano... Yes, like that, _please_... Hnnnn... Al... most... Ah... _C-Cano! Now!_ " Unlike his silent partner, Esgaron cried out and his golden head fell back as he reached his peak. He then collapsed bonelessly against Maglor's chest, breathing hard. "....Thank you... That was wonderful..."

Maglor cradled Esgaron and kissed him gently. "You are so beautiful, love. I could watch you all day and never grow tired."

Esgaron kissed back and nuzzled with a gentle laugh. "You _do_ watch me all day. You always have. You have never been able to take your eyes off me. I am just not certain when it changed from wanting to ensure I was all right to admiration." He grinned. "It's all right. I like knowing you are always watching out for me."

"I see I shall have to be more subtle, hm?" Maglor laughed. "It was always admiration, I think. Although I worried for you also, but you were always beautiful." 

"Even with the mess I was when you found me? I can only imagine what must have gone through your head that first moment," Esgaron said, raising an eyebrow.

"Even then you were beautiful. Wounded sore, but I saw my uncle in your hair, my cousin in your smile. You were, and are, and always will be, beautiful in my eyes," Maglor said. He kissed Esgaron again. "Although if you are feeling up to it we had best finish off this bath now before the water chills all the way!"

Esgaron smiled and slowly pushed himself back up, squirming into a suitable position. "Hmmm, you are right. We should get finished up."

Maglor grabbed a clean washcloth and started on Esgaron's back, although he could not quite keep from dropping gentle kisses on his neck as he did. "Let me help you then."

"Ahhh, Cano..." Esgaron couldn't help blushing a little at that as he relaxed into Maglor's ministrations. He affectionately touched Maglor's leg, since twisting that far still caused twinges where his ribs were broken. "I will always think myself lucky that you chose to take me in that day. And I eagerly await the day we wed."

Maglor wrapped his arms around Esgaron in a hug before going back to helping him wash. "I think I am the lucky one here," he said softly, "I will never stop being grateful." He gave Esgaron a kiss and a small nip. "And I, too, look forwards to that day."

"And you say _I_ make it impossible for you to wait! You will push my endurance to its limits, _Meleth,_ " Esgaron said with fond exasperation, "Fortunately, I think twice is all I can manage for now." By the time Maglor was finished, the water was getting quite cool, and Esgaron shivered a little. "A shame the water cools so soon. I could stay like this with you much longer." He carefully got out, wringing his long hair, wrapping himself up to be warm and dry. "Let us dry by the fire. You can warm me there."

Maglor only chuckled but he settled for helping Esgaron quickly, since the water was getting cool quite fast. "Mm, a good idea - would you help me with my hair, love? It is getting to the point where the knots are too annoying to manage on my own."

"Of course." Esgaron fetched a comb, and as they sat by the fire, he very gently combed out those luxurious dark locks. Never did he pull, cleverly working out any snarls that appeared, until it was glossy-smooth. He lightly kissed Maglor's neck and ears as he worked, and then hugged him from behind. "There you are. All your lovely hair nice and smooth. ...do you want to do mine next?"

Maglor had always liked having his hair done - even late into their last days, his brothers had always known to comb out his hair to help settle him when he was distraught. By the time Esgaron was done, he was all but drowsing happily, but he stirred with the hug and kiss and turned to reciprocate. "Thank you, love. I wonder if I should think about cutting it - it really is starting to get too long again."

"Nonsense, Cano. Your hair is perfect as it is. I would not dream of having you cut it," Esgaron said, moving so that Maglor could get at his hair.

"Not even a trim? I will have to keep it braided permanently at this rate to keep the tangles out!" Maglor sighed.

"I will braid it for you, if that is your wish," Esgaron offered.

"Mm, if I am going to keep it long it would be neater," Maglor said with a shrug. "But here, let me help you with yours." Esgaron's hair was long enough to rival an elfmaid's, a wealth of gleaming gold. There was hardly any mistaking his Vanyarin blood with that beautiful hair that made him resemble his grandfather so. Maglor loved Esgaron's hair, running fingers through it first to get the obvious snarls and tangles out before settling down to carefully comb it out. "So beautiful," he breathed.

Esgaron smiled over his shoulder at him. "I am glad you like mine. Does it really look like my grandfather's?"

"Maglor chuckled and leaned forward to brush a gentle kiss on Esgaron when he looked back. "Aye, it does - it reminds me of your mother's too, but mostly Arafinwë's." He gave a gentle tug at the strands in Esgaron's hair. "Golden bright and lovely."

Esgaron was quiet for a while, letting Maglor work. And then... "Cano... would you show me how to braid my hair for the house of Arafinwë? ...I was just thinking it might be nice to do it that way for the wedding."

There was a startled pause and then Maglor looked thoughtful. "I think I remember, aye. I do not know how your mother changed hers when she married her Sindarin prince, mind, nor if she bothered to do so at all, for the braiding is a Noldor tradition - the Sindar bothered only with Warrior braids, for the most part. And I do not have the right gems to do it in the correct colors for you - something else we need to look for in the spring, hm?"

"What colors do you need?" Esgaron asked, "And... it does not have to be done that way, but you keep telling me how much I look like him... I just thought it might be a nice touch." Another pause. "I am going to have to make a lot of carvings to barter with, aren't I?"

"I think you will look the very image of your grandfather," Maglor said fondly as he slowly worked out what the pattern would be, mumbling under his breath to himself, _'Is it a right twist here or a left?'_ "Mm, Finarfin's house colours were white and gold, Fëanor's red and gold, Fingolfin's blue and gold. Small beads painted the right colour would do, in honesty. I will see which of our furs and hides might be sold as well."

"I would think the gold would be impossible to see in my hair. I suppose I could wear white, though. ...I have not worn that color since... ...not since you found me," Esgaron mused. "I never expected I would have need to do so again."

"Mm, yours is certainly the brightest gold I have seen in a while! Mm, I do not know if Galadriel chose other colours, in honesty. Silver, I think she might have done, for her Sindarin prince. We will have to ask, if she consents to talk to me at all," Maglor said as he let the makeshift braids fall, finger-combing Esgaron's hair back to tidiness now that he thought he had more or less gotten the pattern right. "Your mother used to hate white when she was younger. I still find it amusing that she favours it now - enough to pass that inclination on to you, apparently! You look good in white. But I am perhaps a little biased," he admitted playfully.

"The last time I wore white, Cano, you could hardly tell it was white any longer. I do not remember why that color was chosen," Esgaron said. 

Maglor gave him a teasing shrug. "I think you beautiful irregardless of what you wear, love, or what you do not, as the case may be. But I do think that white would suit, in likelihood."

"Why did my mother not like white in her youth? When did she start wearing it again?" Esgaron asked.

"Ah, as to that, when Galadriel was still Nerwen, feisty and so very cross with her older brothers and cousins for leaving her behind, she hated white, for it would get dirty far too easily. That her parents had apparently an incessant need for seeing her in pretty white dresses used to drive her up the wall. That poor Irissë also wore white did not make things any better, for they hated being compared, those two," Maglor explained.

Esgaron laughed. "Well, white is hardly a color suited for climbing through the trees, 'tis true. And you know how little my feet touch the ground anymore. But, if I find suitable garments in white, I will wear them for you during the wedding."

"True enough." Maglor nuzzled him back fondly. "Although, she managed in the end. Sort of."

"...I do not doubt you will enjoy removing them from me, whatever their color," Esgaron teased.

Maglor chortled softly at that. "No more than you will, I do not doubt."

Esgaron turned and kissed Maglor fondly, running his fingers through his hair. His eyes had a warm, loving glow for him. "How could I not, Cano? I find myself constantly taken by your magnificence. I never expected I would fall in love with you, and now that I have, that love grows with every new moment. Every kiss, every touch, makes me long for another. My heart is yours already. Soon, my flesh will be as well."

Maglor hummed happily into the kiss, tangling fingers in Esgaron's hair in turn. "Such flattery he speaks now," he laughed softly, "Magnificent? I think you confuse me with yourself, Esgaron. I should be grateful you never met Maedhros, or Celegorm, I think!"

 _Always stealing everyone's glances,_ teased Curufin.

 _But they weren't the ones to get married either!_ pointed out the Ambarussa.

"You think they would have stolen my attention away from you, my sweet Cano? That they would have loved me more? I do not know how that could be," Esgaron said, "I am beginning to think, Cano, that perhaps I should have been quicker to give you that first kiss."

"Maedhros always drew eyes to himself, he could scarcely help it - he was so beautiful, even after Thangorodrim. And Celegorm knew how to flatter, my fair brother." Maglor's tone was fond and wistful - his bright brothers, fair and fell, and Maglor their shadow, guarding their backs. "But," he added shyly, "I do not think they could have loved you more than I."

Esgaron tapped Maglor affectionately on the nose. "And _that,_ my Cano, is why I am _yours._ A fair face and a silver tongue may catch the eyes and ears. But would they have pulled me from the beach? Tended my wounds? Comforted me in the darkness of my dreams, and shown patience while I grasped at shadows of my past? Would they have cared for me the way you have?" he asked. "You have done these things, Cano. And that is how you caught my heart."

Maglor's eyes crossed at the tap and he kissed the finger before it moved away. "They might have done! We will never know, I suppose. But I love you, Esgaron, _tenn ambar metta._ "

Esgaron gently stroked Maglor's cheek. It seemed the blow to the head did not rob him of what skill he had with Quenya, though Esgaron had not spoken anything other than Sindarin at that point. "Until the end of the world, yes. My promise to you." He again twined a lock of his bright golden hair around their index fingers and kissed Maglor lovingly.

Maglor leaned into that touch, one hand coming up to cover Esgaron's own, and the answering kiss was sweet, Maglor prolonging it as long as he could. "I will look forwards to spring with great expectation." Maglor rested his head against Esgaron's fondly. "Although maybe not so much in regards to hearing back from your family. Hopefully your mother will convince your father not to kill me."

"It will be a beautiful one, I do not doubt. The Stirring will approach before we know it," Esgaron agreed. "Perhaps he will simply choose to ignore that I live and allow us to live in peace. Do you expect he'll blame you for seducing me? I fear 'twas I who charmed _you._ "

Maglor began to sing in a low voice: 

" _I would see you crowned in gold, love_  
_With sunflowers in your hair_  
_And I would see you crowned in white, dear_  
_With snowdrops pale and fair_  
_I would see you with the ivy_  
_green and curling down your back_  
_And I would see you crowned in roses_  
_sweet, the red against your cheek._ "

He shrugged a little. "I do not know, but I little doubt that Celeborn will be quite happy to lay the blame at my feet. He has, after all, good reason to hate me, and very little reason to trust me."

"How many songs do you have written for me, Cano?" Esgaron seemed amused by the idea, and then shrugged at the mention of Celeborn. "Let him think what he will, but the fact remains that you saved my life. He would have no son at all if not for you. And had I not kissed you that day, we would be living yet as kinsmen, not lovers. You still cannot meet my eyes for longer than a heartbeat. The first kiss would never have come from you, would it?"

"How many stars are there in the sky, love?" Maglor teased back, "I do not know - I write them as they come to me." But Esgaron's words netted another shy flick of Maglor's eyes to meet Esgaron's before they slid away again and he nodded. "I said as much, did I not? It... would not have been appropriate for me. Let us hope your father thinks the same - or at least, that your mother can persuade him to ignore me."

"It is nice to be so inspiring to you," Esgaron mused, and then ducked his bright head. "...I wanted to before then, actually. The day I came back... I was so broken, so sick with grief, but... I wanted, more than anything, to feel loved again. And you were there to hold me and comfort me... But I thought it was just the grief talking. A madness of sorts upon me. That it would be wrong of me to do so and I didn't know what I wanted. And then... that winter's day, watching the smile on your face as you wrote music. A smile that you gave me. I knew then that I loved you, but you were already wed once, and I thought I should not. That I should just keep quiet. I kept thinking that, right up until you kissed me back."

Maglor gave him a shy shrug - Maglor wrote when the inspiration hit. And love was a pretty big motivator. "Truly?" Maglor murmured and admitted quietly, "I ... feared then, and... still do, that you spoke out of your loneliness. That I might be... taking advantage. But I love you... and I did not want you to go."

"Truly," Esgaron said firmly. "Do you regret it at all? Because I do not. I will always come back to you if I go somewhere you will not."

"No." Maglor managed to meet Esgaron's eyes briefly for that. "Never. Every time you kiss me, every time you say you love me. Every time I open my eyes and you are still here, I cannot regret it." And his gaze dropped again. "I just... cannot quite shake the feeling that one day I will open my eyes and you will not be here."

"Cano." Esgaron gently tipped Maglor's chin up. "Look me in the eyes, Cano. Do not look away this time. Tell me what you see. Tell me if these are the eyes of someone who could ever leave you." His clear gaze was aglow. His eyes were bright with love. In the deeper shadows, they held pain. The emptiness of grief and the missing parts of his past, but it rooted the love. The want. Those eyes could burn right through the soul, grab a heart and hold tight. And, though very faint, the look in them had _changed_ ever so slightly to those of a man wed. As powerful as the grip of that gaze was, already it whispered that he belonged to Maglor, and no one else.

Mute, it took a long moment before Maglor could meet and hold that gaze (he was still so very broken, and Esgaron was far too similar to his grandfather) but when he finally managed it, he was caught as surely as any bird in a snare.

 _The bond is true,_ Maedhros sighed softly in his ear, _Too late to back out now, little brother._

A sob escaped Maglor, and he reached forward to kiss Esgaron, unable to voice his thanks. Esgaron met that kiss tenderly, embracing his beloved close. The transformation was not yet complete, and wouldn't be until they were fully married, but the promise was already made. He accepted Maglor's gratitude wholeheartedly, and returned a little of his own.

"It's all right, Cano. I'm here. You will never be without me," Esgaron assured him.

"Oh, Esgaron, Esgaron." Maglor's kiss was a grateful, needy thing, and his eyes were bright with tears as much as love, "What did I ever do to deserve you?"

Esgaron smiled, brushing away those tears, welcoming that kiss. "Long years of repentance," he suggested, "And then, the impossible: You, a Kinslayer, gave a dead kinsman back his life. You made a choice that cold day by the sea. You could have walked away. Could have put me out of my misery, sent me straight to Mandos, and called it mercy. But, instead, you gave me what little you had of yourself, poor and broken as you were, to make me whole again. Does that not repay at least a part of your debt?"

Maglor shook his head but leaned into Esgaron's hand, and his tears were silent. "What good does repentence do to those whose lives I stole? That debt I can never repay, not if I live to see the last days of this world. But you... oh, Esgaron. I could never have walked away that day by the sea - and I am glad I did not."

"Why?" There was that Noldorin curiosity again. No accusation. Just wonder. "You have said before that you could not have left me there. But why not? Would you have done the same for any Elf? Or was it something about me that drew you? You suggest it is because of the similarity I bear to my grandfather, a man I have never known, but I do not understand fully why that would compel you to do what you did."

"I..." Maglor chewed thoughtfully on his lip as he thought back. "I... almost walked away. I thought you were already dead but... you looked. _So_ like Arafinwë that I had to see for myself, to make sure. But once I knew you lived... I could not have left you. I do not think I could have left anyone, once I knew they lived, even if they should only wake to slay me." He spoke quietly. "I am so tired of killing. I thought... maybe if I could save even one life..."

"You did, Cano. You did," Esgaron said. He kissed Maglor's cheek, tasting salt upon his lips. "We are safe here, our lives peaceful. You need never again lift a weapon, except for the hunt." Gently, he dried Maglor's tears. "I leapt into that water to find my lost love. I am so very lucky that he found me."

"I hope you are right, but ever has my hope proved false," Maglor said bleakly, but he accepted the kiss and curled against Esgaron. "I do not know if I can find enough to hope any longer." The faintest of smiles appeared on his lips. "But... I am so, so grateful that you love me, Esgaron." It was Maglor's turn to be the one fighting to stay awake that night, leaning on his lover.

"Then let me be your hope, Cano." Esgaron's arms wrapped around Maglor, holding him close. Esgaron kissed his lover's dark hair before whispering softly in his ear, "Let me take you to bed, love." Firmly supporting him, Esgaron helped Maglor to their bed, curling his body around him in a gentle spoon. "Go ahead and sleep, Cano. I will still be holding you when you wake."

It was, perhaps, the first time Maglor had slept without dreams in an Age or more (and it was also the only time Esgaron would see him sleep that winter, barring short naps, stubborn as Maglor was), and he was considerably more settled afterwards, now that he was assured that Esgaron would not leave of his own will. Esgaron was true to his word, still wrapped around Maglor when he woke up, though Esgaron himself was sound asleep, his head resting against his beloved's.


	7. For the Dancing and the Dreaming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The arrival of spring heralds many changes for the pair...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 0\. Maglor displays a bit of PTSD symptoms by way of nightmares.  
> 1\. Oh yes, we have some sexytimes here. A little more than what we've had so far, but still just hands and mouths at work, and some suggestive dialogue  
> 2\. Also some angst/stress/anxiety late in the chapter.

Eagerly did Esgaron and Maglor await the melting of the snow around their house. For word to return, hoping to receive the blessings from Esgaron's family. Days passed, then weeks. The snow melted, the world began to stir again. Esgaron had grown restless inside their cozy home, and as the weather again became favorable, he began to dress for travel, braiding his hair tightly.

"I wish to see the Silvan again. Not for long. Just enough to get news, perhaps some trade. I do not expect to be gone longer than two, perhaps three weeks," he announced. He gently caressed Maglor's cheek. "Will you be all right while I am gone?"

Come the warmer weather, Maglor had taken to watching the horizon for any signs of returning news, just as restless as Esgaron, if in a slightly different fashion. He turned and captured that hand in a kiss before nodding. "Mm. I was thinking of going back down to the sea, but that can wait for a while, I think. I will be here when you return. Take some of the furs, hm? We may be able to trade those as well."

"I will." Esgaron packed the furs he thought most likely to have trade value, and then kissed Maglor, long and lingering. "I will miss you every day, Cano. But I will come home soon. Don't get into trouble without me. If I am not back in three weeks, come looking."

"I will," Maglor promised. They shared another sweet kiss, and then Esgaron was on his way, and Maglor watched in the direction Esgaron took for a long while before turning away.

Esgaron did return after three weeks. It was a much happier homecoming this time than during his last visit to the Silvan, and he called out brightly from the ground, "Cano? Still here?" He climbed up into their treehouse, nimble as a cat, hoping to see Maglor as he walked inside. "Cano?"

"Nelyo..." A soft, strangled whimper answered him, the sound of someone who was trying desperately _not_ to make a sound - and now Esgaron would realise why Maglor never slept until he dropped from exhaustion, and certainly not where anyone could see - curled up in their bed, Maglor slept, caught in the throes of a nightmare.

"Cano... Cano, it's me. Your Esgaron has come home," Esgaron called out to him, unsure what to do. He knew waking him suddenly could cause even worse panic. A loving touch might be mistaken for an attack in the fear-gripped mind of the sleeper. He spied the harp, carefully stored. Esgaron hesitated. That was _Maglor's_ harp and he did not like it being touched by others. But he knew that was how he had soothed so many of Esgaron's nightmares...

Carefully, Esgaron took up the harp. He could ask forgiveness later if it upset Maglor. Esgaron was not the musician Maglor was, and his fingers were clumsy as he tried to create a tune on the fly. One of warm welcome, of joyful reunion, loving arms and happy kisses. Trying to stir him into wakefulness. Esgaron watched Maglor warily as he played, hoping it would work.

Maglor was curled into a tight, protective ball, face tear-streaked and twisted in distress but beyond that one strangled whimper, he made no sound, although his hands were clenched tight enough that the nails drew blood. The silver harp was old, but well loved and still perfectly in tune. It was Fëanor's gift to his musical son, a step towards their understanding of each other, and even under untrained hands it sang sweetly. Achingly slowly, it seemed, the music reached him, and by inches he relaxed, brow furrowing until his eyes blinked open slowly. 

"Nelyo?" It was a soft plaintive call to the brother who would never answer again, before grey eyes cleared and he realised where he was. "Esgaron? Ah..." Maglor pulled himself up and scrubbed at the damning evidence of his tears. "Forgive me, I meant to be awake when you returned."

Putting the harp aside, Esgaron sat next to him on the bed, worry etched into his face. "What happened? Are you all right? Can I help?"

Maglor managed a faint smile and shook his head. "'Tis nothing. I suppose I was just... over tired. I did not mean to sleep. I am sorry I worried you."

Esgaron gently wiped away a streak of salt from Maglor's cheek. "It is not nothing. You were there when the shadows haunted my dreams. Let me be there for yours."

"Just bad dreams, love." Maglor leaned a little into that hand. "Nothing I am not sadly used to."

Esgaron's mouth twisted a little in that expression he got when he didn't quite believe Maglor, but he just gently smoothed the dark hair and pressed no further into Maglor's dreams. Maglor was grateful that Esgaron did not press, forcing memories of accusation and blood back down to where he kept them locked away, content to dwell on happier things for the time being. 

_Change the subject,_ Maglor chided himself, "How did your trip go?"

Esgaron brightened a little at the question. "Besides that I missed you? Better than the last time. The only news they mentioned was word that someone they called the Silver Lady was going to be coming to the area soon. Something about trying to find a dead brother. It seemed to confuse them. I was not sure who they meant. I brought back some new tools. Extra arrows. Some honey--I can use it to start making mead. New clothes... Not white, no. I did not find anything for the wedding ceremony," he said.

Maglor leaned on Esgaron a little, smiling to hear his obvious delight. Mention of a 'silver lady' got a thoughtful hum. "Hm. Your mother, perhaps? Although I usually hear her referenced as the Lady of the Golden Wood... so... perhaps your sister?" he supposed.

Esgaron's expression turned thoughtful as Maglor guessed who might be coming. Soundlessly, Esgaron shaped her name with his lips - _Celebrían_ \- and nodded slowly. "I... suppose it may be her. The silver is in her name. And... that would make me the dead brother. Sometimes, I forget I am thought to be a dead man. Has any word come to us in my absence?"

Maglor shook his head slowly. "No - although, if 'tis indeed your sister coming, like as not, she brings word personally. I do not know if that is a comforting thought or not, however." He shrugged a little. "I suppose we will have to wait to find out."

Esgaron nodded distractedly, fidgeting slightly, as if he had more to say, but was not yet sure how to say it. Maglor gave him a questioning look to prompt him. "But, ah... There is another pair there among the Silvan, like us," Esgaron began to explain. "They have only been married a few centuries. I mentioned that we are going to be marrying soon, and I... I asked them about consummating..." He was starting to blush. "They agreed that hands and mouths will not do it, so we are fine as we are until the wedding. But when we are ready, well... We can achieve the marriage by, ah... putting our... selves together until we come undone. But that they believed the truest act of consummation would be... for one of us... to be inside the other." Yes, he was definitely blushing, but that silver light was in his eyes. "And so... I was thinking... Since you are older, and taller... and have some semblance of experience... The first time, anyway, you should be the one in me. I mean, unless you would rather it be the other way around. I don't mind." He looked at Maglor hopefully. "Ah... what do you think?"

Maglor's own eyes brightened to match Esgaron's, and he tamped down the swell of desire, brushing a shy kiss on Esgaron's cheek. "I... suppose that makes sense. I... do not mind if you do not, I think. Did you... eh, ask for advice on how this might be achieved? I do not want to hurt you, Esgaron."

Oh, how that silver light glittered in Esgaron's eyes, and as Maglor kissed his cheek, Esgaron gently traced his fingers over his beloved's face. "I did indeed, Cano, for I do not wish to hurt you, either. They suggested a slow, careful priming of the recipient, even well before the wedding itself. Opening him up little by little, with tongues and fingers until he is ready for his husband. And they also gave me this." He carefully retrieved a sizable bottle of oil from his pack. "It helps if things are... slippery," he explained. "...And I hope you don't think that a proper "welcome home" kiss." He pulled Maglor into a long, smouldering kiss. "Much better. I think I missed you more than I thought."

Maglor's own eyes were equally bright as he listened to Esgaron's explanation, and he was only too glad to answer the kiss with his own fire, a little breathless by the time they were done. "No more than I missed you, I think," he murmured.

That made two of them. Esgaron's eyes were as silver embers, glowing with want, and he slid a hand up Maglor's thigh as he nuzzled his ear. "You are the tempting minx this time, Cano. I should be unpacking, taking off my cloak, washing up, eating, starting preparations for a guest space... And yet, what I want to do more than anything is strip those clothes right off you, and kiss you and touch you until you come undone here and now. To start opening you up as well, for as much as I desire to feel you inside me, I also long to see how good your flesh feels wrapped around me."

Maglor made a soft noise of want as Esgaron nuzzled his ear and his hands were equally happy to wander. "Such words you speak, Esgaron." He almost growled it, turning to nip lightly at Esgaron in turn. "I think that you are the one doing the tempting today."

Esgaron shook his head, kissing along Maglor's neck, hands working their way under his tunic. "Nay, Cano. 'Tis you. And I fear I am a weak man, indeed, when it comes to you..." As if to prove it, Esgaron pulled Maglor's tunic off over his head and pushed him down on the bed. He then moved to lay on top of him, full weight holding him down, pinning down Maglor's wrists with his hands as he kissed him hungrily, tongue probing deep into his lover's mouth.

Maglor let him happily, even eagerly, moaning softly into the kiss and arching up against his lover. "If you are going to say such things, love, you had best follow through," he managed breathlessly.

Still fully dressed himself, Esgaron kissed along Maglor's body, reverently adoring every line, his touch worshipful. "I would not be so cruel as to make your blood quicken and not finish you, Cano. Relax. I shall take care of you." As he worked downward, he tugged off the rest of Maglor's clothes, showering him with tender kisses until he took his lover in hand, stroking gently. "I have missed you, _mell nín..._ "

" _Ai,_ Esgaron!" Maglor moaned, hands reaching blindly, needing something solid to hold onto as he dissolved into wordlessness. "Un... unfair," he managed to protest briefly, "Missed _you_ too."

Esgaron didn't take his hand away as he moved up, capturing one of Maglor's hands in his free one, softly kissing him. "Do you want me to stop, Cano? Long enough for you to get me out of my things? Or would you have me keep going?"

Maglor only shook his head, kissing back hungrily - he was past words again, but the hand not captured in Esgaron's was fumbling with Esgaron's clothes in turn. Maglor's fumbling was enough to make Esgaron's cloak fall away, and his lacings loose, but not enough to reveal his full splendor. Even his hair was still firmly braided. But he kissed Maglor passionately.

"Easy, Cano. Let me finish you first, and then I am all yours, to do with as you please," he whispered. Another kiss, sweeter that time, and he redoubled his efforts. Esgaron let go of Maglor's hand, and where the one had been steadily stroking, the other moved lower between his legs. Carefully, tenderly, did he caress the skin there, the sack there. Then, he pulled back, laved his fingers in his mouth, and tentatively, almost nervously, prepared to start opening Maglor up. Esgaron watched his lover's face as he slowly, gently began to probe in addition to his strokes, keeping a sharp eye for any sign that he was hurting Maglor. He didn't go deep, just barely into him, using the smallest of his fingers. "...is that all right? How does it feel?"

Maglor made a stuttering whine as Esgaron pulled back a little and he was caressed, and the finger got a hitch in his breathing before he shook his head and managed to dredge up words again. "'S... not bad. Different. Keep going?"

Esgaron nodded and probed him more deeply, still moving gently, one finger at a time. "Tell me if it hurts." He didn't dare try to do too much too soon, and once Maglor seemed comfortable with the largest of his fingers, Esgaron flexed his hand, thrusting carefully in time with the strokes of his other hand. He smiled to see his lover squirm and gasp under his touch, knowing Maglor was getting close.

Maglor found the stretch was odd but not painful, precisely. Not with how careful Esgaron was being, and any discomfort was quickly forgotten in the pleasure of Esgaron's clever hands. "A-ah..."

"Go ahead, Cano. Come undone for me," Esgaron urged.

At that point, Maglor was far past words. A soft moan of Esgaron's name and Maglor did exactly that. Esgaron pulled a cloth from his pack to clean Maglor up, smiling fondly at him.

"It will never cease to amaze me how beautiful you look like that, Cano. Flushed and happy. And knowing I was the one who did that for you," Esgaron said. He kissed Maglor lovingly as he sponged him off. "A promise is a promise, though. I finished you, and now I am yours to do with as you please."

Maglor kissed back lazily, tired and sated and shook his head a little. "You are biased, I am sure, for I would think that you are by far the lovelier of the two of us," he countered. But, oh yes, now he had permission! Slowly, Maglor deepened the kisses, breath sighing, tongues tangling, hands coming up to wander with a good deal more intent then, headed straight for Esgaron's braids to start.

Esgaron laughed softly into those kisses. "Perhaps I am, a little. But I love seeing you happy and content, and knowing I am the source of that pleasure." He still kissed back eagerly, lips parted, as Maglor undid his braids, the great wealth of gold spilling forth over his shoulders and down his back. "But then, are not you a little biased yourself, however much you like seeing me with my hair unbound?" Not that Esgaron _didn't_ make an exquisite picture with his clothes half-laced, arousal plenty evident, eyes a burning silver behind the gold falling into his face and flowing all over with sexy abandon. He was breathtaking.

Maglor hummed, pleased as he took a moment to simply run his fingers through Esgaron's hair, and he laughed softly and pulled a few bright strands up to his mouth to kiss coyly. "I am an artist, after all - I do so like to properly appreciate beauty when I find it!" And then Maglor tugged Esgaron back down, rolling them so that Maglor was the one on top this time. "And you are so very, very lovely, Esgaron - both in form and spirit."

Esgaron gave Maglor a roguish smirk, plainly enjoying the view as he looked up at his lover. "You have got me pinned on the bed. Are you planning to just flatter me, or are you going to unveil and appreciate what you have before you?"

Maglor smiled down, one hand idly going to tug at the lacings on Esgaron's top, tracing lazy designs on his skin. "And what if I want to take my time unwrapping my gift?"

Esgaron laughed softly. "Oh, going to test my patience, hmm? All right, then, I'm game. But I will not be held responsible if you push it too far."

"Mm, I will be sure to take that under advisement," Maglor purred. He leaned forward to kiss Esgaron again, one hand still happily tracing patterns across Esgaron's chest, while the other went to undo the lacings on his pants. "I love you Esgaron, so very much."

Esgaron kissed Maglor softly, but there was smouldering heat in his lips. A flush had risen in his skin, steadily being exposed by Maglor. He sighed a little at his lover's touch. "I love you too, Cano. _Stars,_ but how I love you," he said. "Hmmmmmmm..." He made a long sound, half contented sigh, half needful whine. "What symphony do you write upon me?"

Maglor sang as he traced:

_"My love, I wait for you to wake_  
_So that I may kiss the sleep from your eyes_  
_My love, I watch you smile_  
_And swear that I will never let you weep_  
_My love, I dream of you_  
_Do you dream of me?"_

Maglor punctuated each line with a kiss, nipping gently at Esgaron's lips, even as he tugged his pants off and brushed a hand teasingly up along Esgaron's thigh. Esgaron met his every kiss eagerly, shrugging and wriggling out of his clothes, and the hand skimming up his bare thigh elicited a gasp. Esgaron's arms came up to embrace Maglor, stroking his fingers down his lover's back. 

" _Yes,_ Cano. You have chased away the dark shadows from my dreams and filled them with song." Esgaron's voice had gone breathless. "I _want_ you, _mell nín._ So much."

"Soon," Maglor promised, shivering at the touch of Esgaron's hands. "And we will know soon, what your family thinks of this." He pressed kisses up Esgaron's neck and the hand teasing him went to wrap around him gently.

Esgaron moaned, instinctively bucking his hips up into Maglor's hand. Already drops of liquid seeped from the head, making him slick. He arched his neck, exposing it to kisses. His fingers dug in a little along Maglor's back and shoulders. "Never soon enough, Cano..."

A soft hiss rasped through Maglor's teeth at the dig and he nipped gently at Esgaron, setting up a careful rhythm of stroking. "So impatient," he chided, but the scold was half-hearted, at best. As carefully as Esgaron did, he mimicked his lover's actions, wetting his hand and carefully pressing into him. "Tell me if I go too fast, love."

Esgaron gasped and braced against Maglor's arms. "N-no, you're doing fine... Valar have _mercy_..." He squirmed and groaned. "Keep... keep going..."

Maglor bit his lip to stifle the soft moan at Esgaron's vocalisations, the picture he made before him. Maglor moved carefully, not wanting to hurt his lover, trying to match his movements together with the stroking. "So very, very beautiful."

Esgaron even began rocking his body in time with Maglor's ministrations, moaning with pleasure as his breath became ragged. Finally, with a half-strangled cry, his body arched and he climaxed and collapsed back down into the bed. He gave Maglor a hazy smile. "Mmm. I think you enjoyed that as much as I did, Cano," he teased breathlessly.

Maglor hummed cheerfully back at him as he gently cleaned Esgaron up in turn and leaned in for a gentle kiss. "You are so lovely to watch, and you make the prettiest sounds. A much better welcome home than the one I gave you earlier, I think," he said.

Esgaron kissed back sweetly. "I am but an instrument in the hands of a master musician. But I can only imagine how it will be once we are wed," he said, "But I am glad to just be home with you again for now."

With both of them mostly cleaned, Maglor dropped down to curl against Esgaron and nuzzled into his side, breathing him in, content. "Ah, but even a master musician needs a good instrument, and no finer have I found on this side of the Sundering Seas," he said. "I am glad as well - it has been... I had forgotten, that it could be lonely."

Esgaron wrapped an arm around his lover, snuggling up close. "Cano... I don't want you to feel lonely. I would have you come with me in the future," he said.

Curling up together, Esgaron probably felt more than saw Maglor shake his head in response. "No - 'tis well, I can manage. And I do not wish to spoil your welcome should they realise who you keep company with."

"What all did you do while I was away?" Esgaron asked.

"Mostly, I watched for news. But I went hunting - I wanted to get some leathers to work with. And I went down to the sea, briefly - there is a gift for you on the table," Maglor replied. He had gone down to the sea and found driftwood and coral, bleached white from the sun and waves. He could not carve the way Esgaron could, but he managed two simple rings.

"A gift for me?" Esgaron repeated. For a while, impulses warred: remain curled up warm and cozy with his beloved, or see what the gift was. Finally, with a reluctant sigh, he pushed himself up off the bed and crossed over to the table, golden hair trying to stick to his skin yet where it wasn't quite dry. He gasped aloud to see the rings lying there. "Cano... Cano, is this... Is this what I think it is?"

Padding up behind him, Maglor wrapped his arms around Esgaron and kissed that golden hair. "Not as fine as your work, I fear, and I have no silver to work with. But I thought that white might do as well," he admitted.

Esgaron was still speechless for a moment. "I... Yes. They will do. They more than do. They are perfect," he said, once he recovered his tongue. He turned his face to kiss Maglor. 

Maglor made a pleased noise into the kiss. "I am glad you like them - I did not want to wait, but my efforts are very crude, I fear."

"Stars, but I love you, Cano. I just hope I did not spoil your plans on presenting them with our earlier distraction. I could get dressed again, step outside, start it over, if you want..." Esgaron offered.

"Mm, you can, if you like! But you have seen them now, and I may present them as happily here as anywhere," Maglor said.

"They are more precious to me than the work of the finest silversmiths in all Arda, because they were fashioned with your love and care," Esgaron insisted. "This is your gift, Cano. I would honor it by allowing you the presentation I am sure you have long dreamed of. Just tell me how you want me."

"You could be dressed in the finest robes or in rags, and it would change nothing about how much I want you," Maglor chuckled a little and, picking up the rings, he went to one knee in front of Esgaron. "Esgaron, to you I would pledge my life, my love, my todays and my tomorrows, if you would have me. Would you marry me, love?"

Esgaron smiled at him. "You gave me a second chance at life, and a second chance at love, both I had nearly lost forever. It has been such a miracle to be by your side. It would be my privilege and delight to call you my husband," he said. "Yes, I will marry you."

Maglor smiled at him brilliantly and got up, kissing Esgaron soundly and slipping one of the rings onto his finger. "Then accept this ring, as a token of my pledge, until such time as we may formally pledge our troth for the world to see."

Esgaron kissed back lovingly as the ring was placed on his hand. Gently, he took the other ring from Maglor. "I am honored to accept your token and your pledge. And I would have you wear this ring yourself, as token of my promise to you," he said as he slid it carefully onto Maglor's finger.

"There now," Maglor said. He nuzzled Esgaron fondly and looked at their hands together. "That makes it formal. All we have to do is work out where we are going to get gold rings from!"

Esgaron squeezed Maglor's hand, kissing his cheek. His other hand brushed aside a stray lock of his shining hair. "That depends, Cano. Would you seek out traders? Or would you have us fashion them from the gold we already have?"

Maglor blinked and chuckled. "I had not thought of that," he admitted. "I... think I will leave that decision in your hands, love. I would like, I think, at some point to have a proper ring to put on your finger, but 'tis true, there is gold aplenty in this house right now."

"Perhaps I will surprise you. Would you brave such contact to secure such a token? It could be dangerous," Esgaron said. He gently brushed Maglor's skin with a lock of his bright hair. "Besides. I know you consider this gold to be more precious than any ore brought forth from the earth."

"Mm, I... would consider it. It need not be with the Eldar - my family had a lot of dealings with the Dwarves, in our time? We would have to go to a town, but I... I would find it easier to deal with Men and Dwarves than our kin," he admitted. As for the comment on the gold, he gave Esgaron a shy smile and he snagged a lock to bring to his lips and kiss in lieu of a verbal answer.

"They do have far shorter memories than most Elves, 'tis true. And I suppose they find one Elf to be much like any other," Esgaron mused. When Maglor kissed his hair, he laughed and tenderly stroked his beloved's cheek. "Though, if we are soon to be having a guest, we should not yet venture forth into such places. Perhaps this summer. But in the meantime, I believe our betrothal is cause for celebration. Have you a song for us, _mell nín?_ "

"Mm, I like them - they are straightforward and forthright, and staunch allies in a fight. Maedhros had many good friends amongst them, and grieved greatly when Azaghâl died," Maglor said. He turned to kiss the hand gently, and began to sing:

_"I saw a light and it was gold_  
_but it was not the sun_  
_I heard a song and it was true_  
_but it was not the sea_  
_I saw a smile and it was yours_  
_And in it I saw love_  
_So take my hand and take my heart_  
_And may this love live long."_

"I..." Esgaron frowned a little, that frown of a memory not quite clear enough to make out. "I remember a welcome in what I thought were dark places... But little else. But Dwarves strike no concern into me." The familiar melody of Maglor's song erased that frown, his features melting into a bright smile. "A new verse! Does that mean the song is complete?"

"I think... I remember hearing that Galadriel crossed the Mountains by way of Khazad-dûm. That might be what you are remembering. But in any case - I would not mind dealing with the dwarves, although they are canny negotiators and we will have to be on our toes!" Maglor smiles shyly back. "Complete? Not yet, I think, but almost."

Esgaron laughed gently. "I shall take care, in that case. And I will still delight to hear your song in its entirety," he said. "But, 'tis custom to have a betrothal feast, is it not? What are you in the mood for, Cano?"

"It is, although being as there are only two of us, I am not overly worried about it. Whatever suits you, love, so long as it does not require us to leave the house!" Maglor said with a smile, tracing a finger over their bare skin.

There was more laughter, and a playful nuzzle from Esgaron. "That would be a sight, would it not? But I will see what I can do."

"Dressed, or not, as we are right now?" Maglor asked as he nuzzled back. "I imagine so! Quite scandalous, really," he teased softly. 

Esgaron grabbed a tunic quickly and pulled it over his head, still only half-dressed, but even he knew to not try cooking naked. And when Esgaron went to get dressed (at least partially, at any rate) so too did Maglor. They had their routines set by now - Esgaron did the cooking, Maglor set the table. Esgaron bustled through their cupboards, and put together the nicest meal he could manage for the two of them, placing it reverently on their table.

"Surely, never a finer betrothal feast to be had, love," Esgaron said.

"'Tis perfect, love," Maglor agreed, and he leaned across to steal a kiss.

Esgaron was only too happy to return that stolen kiss. "I am glad you think so, Cano," he said. "And it is precisely that scandal you mentioned before that I think I shall have to build separate quarters for our guest. I doubt she will want to witness half the things we do just the two of us."

Maglor chuckled softly. "Mm, yes I do think that would be wise. If your sister is anything like your mother in her youth, I imagine I would not long survive if she caught us. But we do not know how far away she is? Will you have enough time, love?"

"Truly, I know not," Esgaron admitted, "How long would it take to travel here from Imladris?"

"On my own, it takes perhaps some two weeks, I think - but I am used to travelling alone and swiftly. I doubt me she would come without some escort, her husband perhaps - or her sons, or some other that I know not. Two weeks would be a good estimate, I suppose?" Maglor guessed.

"I fear I will have to work as soon and quickly as I can, though. Perhaps not a full house. Just a separate area for rest and to wash, and then we can connect with a walkway to the main room here. If I can work the angle properly, I should not have to cut a new door for us..." Esgaron's long fingers traced patterns over the table, as if he were sketching out a blueprint. "Ah, I am sorry, Cano. I had hoped to spend more time just reuniting with you instead of setting to work so soon. But I think it will be more bearable for all of us if she has a room of her own. I built a bed for two, not three, after all."

Maglor laughed softly, watching Esgaron's distraction. "No love, there is no need to apologise. I like watching you work, in any case, and the sooner started, the sooner finished, hm? I quite agree in any case - it would be better for her to have a room for herself." He leaned over to steal another kiss. "What do you need me to do?

Esgaron made a contented noise into that kiss, and smiled at him. "Much as before. Help me gather the needed materials, hold things in place for me while I secure them." A mischievous glint entered his eyes. "Do a good job, and I promise to reward you."

"Mm, tempter! But that I can do with a good will," Maglor laughed back at him, "And in between, I will go out and make sure we have stores enough to feed a guest, I hope!"

"Such a fine provider you make, Cano. However did I get so lucky?" Esgaron asked. It was gentle teasing, but the affection and gratitude were as genuine as ever.

"When did _I?_ " Maglor answered softly back.

The next two weeks saw the pair working long and tirelessly as Esgaron expanded their home to include guest quarters. The addition was seamless, looking as if it had always been part of the house in the trees, and lacking none of the comforts of the main building. If anything, he seemed determined to make it _more_ comfortable than their quarters. As ever, Maglor settled himself to simply help Esgaron work, for the most part, assisting where required. At long last, they had the finishing touches on it.

"There, Cano. Think she'll find it suitable?" Esgaron asked, looking over the finished room, "It is no Imladris, I'm sure, but hopefully pleasant enough."

Maglor laughed softly when asked and came up to hug Esgaron fondly. "Suitable? I think she will wonder if you are trying to bribe her, my golden one. You outdo yourself, once again."

" _Bribe_ her? For what?" Esgaron laughed at first, but it soon faded. "As much as I hope to have her support, it is my parents we are trying to convince to give us their blessing. But I suppose all we can do now is wait."

"Mm, well, to have the support of your sister will go a long way towards that, no doubt, but let us not chase such imaginings before they happen," Maglor said.

Esgaron's expression turned anxious, even a little sad. "I still do not remember having a sister. I imagine that will be upsetting to her if her presence does not restore them. I know it cannot be helped, either the memories will return or they will not, but..." He shook his head. "What would you do if one of your brothers had forgotten you? I cannot even remember which of us is the elder. What if I address her wrong?"

Maglor's hug tightened supportively. "I think... she will be hurt, but I think she will forgive you. I... cannot truly say, but I suppose I would be very hurt and upset if it were my brothers. But. Family is family, after all. I could not forsake my brothers in their, in our shared madness, and they fell so very far, as you know. I do not think she will forsake you. Nor, that she will care over much about address! Rather, I imagine she will be quite pleased if you mistake her age the right way!"

Esgaron wrapped his arms just as tightly around Maglor. "Thank you, Cano. I... I admit I am afraid in many ways about this, but you... You ease much of it," he sighed. 

"I am glad to help, love, but I think you need not worry overly," Maglor said, radiating as much encouragement as he could.

"I will try not to," Esgaron said. "...have your brothers said anything to you on these matters? I know their voices still sound in your mind."

Maglor pressed a gentle kiss to golden hair and shook his head. "No... they... I hear them less, when I am with you. You drown out all other voices."

Esgaron cocked his head slightly at that admission. "I do not know whether that is good or ill news. Good in that I so occupy your attention... And yet, I am sure you miss them greatly." He lovingly smoothed a lock of Maglor's hair. "But we are a family now. Together, you and me."

Maglor shrugged a little and leaned into the hand. "I do not know either. They... are long and long dead, in any case. I should... probably let them go." He leaned forward to nuzzle Esgaron fondly. "So we are."

Esgaron was quiet for a while. "...Cano? Would you like it if I made you something to honor their memories?" he asked, his tone almost timid.

Maglor was still for a long time as he turned the thought over and then he shook his head and kissed Esgaron gently. "If you wanted to, I would be very happy."

Esgaron let his lips linger against those of his betrothed. "I do want to. I want you to be happy, and you should have something to remember your lost loved ones. Not the way history painted them, but as loving memory holds them. To recall the good, and bright, and fond moments. Just like we are creating now going forward."

"You help make everything brighter." Maglor rested fondly against Esgaron. "Thank you, love. It... it would be nice, yes."

"Perhaps it shall be my wedding gift to you, love." Esgaron nuzzled him lovingly and kissed the dark hair. "Though, I would have you tell me what they looked like, your brothers and parents."

Maglor hummed happily, leaning against his lover. "I will have to think of something for you, but I think that the song will be finished by then. And that I can do." 

Maglor talked for a while then, spinning the memories of his family for Esgaron. Maedhros, tall and fair and terrible, Celegorm, bright and wild and restless, brooding Caranthir, always scowling and abrupt, who always seemed to know when his brothers needed him, Curufin, far too much like father, and the Ambarussa, alike-not-alike, and his father and mother also, dark and light, heads leaning together as they talked, animatedly, in those long-ago days before things became strained. Esgaron listened raptly, making mental notes of every detail Maglor gave him, the piece taking shape in his mind. Although he tried to keep as much of it a surprise as possible for Maglor, he wasted little time in finding fine wood to carve.

Between the carving and the mead he was making, Esgaron kept quite busy, and he was resting for once, snug under Maglor's ever watchful care, when eventually a knock came on their door.

"Mmm, do I have to get up?" Esgaron asked sleepily.

Maglor lifted his head from his harp and eyed the door curiously. "No, love, I think I can guess who it is, however. But I will go and see," he said. Who else _would_ it be, after all - Maglor's family were long and long gone, and Amroth's folk believed him dead. It could only be Celebrían and her escort, and as he went to open the door he hoped fervently that he did not open it to Lord Celeborn and a sharp sword in his face. Oh well. "Coming!" Maglor called out as he approached. Here went nothing.

Maglor's assumptions were not entirely wrong. It was Celebrían who waited on the other side, but she had come alone to the house. Her eyes, the same grey as her brother's, widened when Maglor opened the door. Still, she let down her hood, letting her silver hair spill forth.

"...you must be Maglor. I have heard much about you. I am Celebrían, daughter of Celeborn and Galadriel, wife of Elrond, lady of Imladris."

She dared to raise her eyes directly to Maglor's. Eyes that missed nothing. 

"...is he here?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 0\. I am forever amused at Maglor's planning skills here. A+, because that has to be the most adorkable naked proposal of all time.


	8. I Planned It All, But Not Like This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The twins are reunited! However, this does not go at all like Celebrían expected...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 0\. Mostly just awkwardness, but some angst later on.  
> 1\. Also some suggestive dialogue, but nothing more than kisses. They have a guest, after all!

Maglor had a brief moment of _OH THANK ERU, IT ISN'T CELEBORN_ but there was no doubting who the _ellith_ at the door was and he nodded and bowed. 

"Lady Celebrían, well met. I am, aye - be welcome to our home," he said, "He is here, but... he still remembers little of his life before. He knows your name, but not your face - can you bear that?

She hesitated a little as she entered. "...I just wish to see my brother again, sir, if he truly is here, alive and well. The sorrow and worry we've spent these past days... It seems it has been far too long since we had any word of--" Suddenly, her attention was captured by a glimpse of gold as Esgaron's tall, slim figure shuffled rather sleepily into the room. " _Amroth!_ " She ran to embrace him, silver and gold twins reunited at last. "It _is_ you? You're alive! You cannot imagine what good news this is!" she cried.

Esgaron, for his part, looked startled and confused at the sudden embrace, giving Maglor a questioning look. But, then he searched her face hopefully, a hope that quickly faded as no recognition sparked in his damaged mind. "Lady... Celebrían?" he guessed. "Welcome. We have been expecting you. Though, you are the first to call me Amroth in some time. I am better known as Esgaron in these days." He hadn't looked so awkward and guilty since those early days after Maglor rescued him. "...allow me to get you some refreshment, my lady." Esgaron moved quickly to the kitchen area, while Celebrían, looking as startled and confused as her brother had, turned a look on Maglor that clearly demanded an explanation.

Maglor sighed a little and shrugged at her when Esgaron retreated. "I did warn you," he said softly, "When I found him... he had a head injury, lady. He remembers a few small things - that he was a builder, that he loved an elven maid who did not return his affections... but despite his healing, he remembers little else, still." He paused briefly. "He might remember more in time - we are hoping for that, as small things seem to spark memories for him, but... he wishes to be Esgaron, now, and I think the brother you remember may not wish to return. I am sorry."

With Esgaron busy in the kitchen, Celebrían gave Maglor a long, shrewd look. Oh, yes, she was definitely her mother's daughter. "You... are a bard, are you not? I would hear the whole story. From the moment you found him, until my arrival."

 _Oh, orc-spit, not another with those eyes,_ Maglor cursed to himself, but he nodded. "So they call me." And so he told her, how he found her brother, pulled him from the shoreline, tended his injuries. How he chose another name, how he learnt who he had been. How they set up a home together.

She listened, but got the feeling he was glossing over some details. "I see," she said. "Now... You wrote asking for... a blessing, is that not so? You've fallen for my sweet brother, and wish to be wed? Tell me... How did _that_ happen? Surely it was not just his beauty that entranced you. And how difficult it must have been to have him relying so upon you while your heart was thusly stirring..."

Well, Maglor certainly wasn't going to mention the intimacies between him and his lover. "I did and I have." He shrugged and his gaze drifted back toward the kitchen. "I suppose," he said slowly, "That it happened unexpectedly. I did not think of him that way for a long time. But he was here in my loneliness, and he did not run when he knew who I was. He is beautiful, yes, your golden brother. But not just in form. His spirit is kind and gentle and strong, and I... became attached to that song. I did not want it to leave." His tone turned wry. "Your mother would be able to tell you that I have always been very selfish."

"But he _could_ have left, still could, if he so chose? You do not hold him against his free will? What is it that changed? It is one thing to want him to stay with you. Elrond has told me tales from his youth. But what made you realize it was more than kinship that attached you?" Celebrían asked.

"He..." There was the tiniest of flinches. "...He is free to go whenever he wishes, and has always been so." _I expected him to leave long ago,_ Maglor thought sadly. "I... do not know if there was any one moment I could point to and say 'ah ha! this is when'. But... I suppose I realised I loved him as more than a kinsman when he built us this house and told me 'welcome home'. "

"He does that, you know. Always has, ever since we were children. A way of making even strange places feel like home and putting people at ease. You should have seen him in Eregion, helping build Ost-in-Edhil. So bright and eager," Celebrían mused. 

"I can believe it," Maglor agreed.

"...Celebrimbor was your nephew, was he not? Amroth looked up to him a great deal in those days. He used to try and watch him every chance he got, hovering in the doorways, silently creeping up behind him. Until Celebrimbor would catch a glimpse of that golden hair of his, and chase him back out once he realized it was my brother there." She shook her head. "He is an easy person to love. Which is partly why all of this is so... overwhelming."

Celebrimbor's name brought Maglor a flash of pain. "He was, yes. I... heard about what happened." And maybe there were a lot less orcs in a distant part of Eregion for a while. "I am sorry things are difficult for you. But... he wished for me to stay and I... can not find it in me to deny him."

By this time, Esgaron came back, arms laden with food and drink. He smiled at them. "It is a wonder my ears have not set my hair aflame, the way you speak of me! All good things, I hope?" He put down the refreshments carefully, then awkwardly fidgeted as he looked at his sister. "I was not sure what you might like, so I brought some of everything. The mead is not yet ready, or I would offer you some." He moved then to Maglor's side, quietly taking his hand, his expression briefly questioning: _Is all well?_ "You should tell her some of the happier stories we have, Cano. I am sure she would like to hear them."

Maglor smiled fondly back at Esgaron and squeezed the hand in his, letting him know, _It's fine,_ tangling their fingers together happily. "Mm, I do not know, love, if your ears are burning, perhaps the stories are ones that you do not wish to hear?" he teased and shrugged a little. "Your sister is a lovely _ellith_ who misses you and worries over you, which is only fair and proper." He shot a glance and shy smile at Celebrían. "She has been quizzing me about our stories quite thoroughly, I assure you."

"Thank you. You speak most kindly," she said. Celebrían watched the pair, her knowing gaze not missing a single detail, not the besotted look in their eyes, the tender way they clasped hands. She sighed a little. "It is plain there was no exaggeration in the letter we received. It has been some time since I have seen a pair so much in love as the two of you. I have no doubt of your affection for one another. But to give a blessing upon you is... complicated. The family is not sure what to think. All of us love you so much, Amroth... _Adar, Naneth,_ myself and Elrond, your nephews and niece... Not to mention those who reside in Lothlórien and Imladris alike. 'Twas a bittersweet day when you declared you were going into the West, but all of us imagined there would come a day of reunion with you, your lovely bride, and the golden children born of your marriage. But then... To get news that you had been lost beneath the waves, that you had never made it... We were heartbroken." She shook her head. "And then... To hear word from someone who was all but a ghost, a mere shadow from a time all but forgotten. I... We... We are so relieved to have you alive and well, and going to be married, just as before those dark days fell. But... The Noldolantë casts a long shadow. _Adar_ in particular is torn, for he wishes to see you again, Amroth, and wish you well, but he cannot forgive a Fëanorian. Elrond bears no ill will, and would welcome you both to Imladris, but some of our guests there would be... less understanding."

Maglor smiled reassuringly at Esgaron and then straightened to look at Celebrían solemnly. "I do not ask nor expect forgiveness from one I have hurt so badly. But... I love your brother, and I mean to wed him, whether your father will or nill. Yet I would not have it said that I stole him from you either. I will not hinder Lord Celeborn from visiting, nor will I stop Esgaron from going to visit, and I will not inopportune such a visit with my presence," he promised.

Esgaron's eyes flashed, and it was the closest Maglor had gotten to see him in genuine anger. "Cano, no! We are a _pair,_ you and I. I do not care who he is, I will not allow him to chase you out of the home I built for us if he should come calling. I cannot prevent him barring you entry to his dwelling, for that is his right, but if he turns you away, he turns us _both_ away. If he will not suffer seeing you, then perhaps we can meet on neutral ground. But if he cannot maintain civility for the sake of a son, he deserves neither title of lord nor father." He turned on Celebrían. "You will tell him as much. And remind him, if not for Cano here, I would not be alive. He would have no son at all. If he cannot suffer my terms, then I am happy to let him remain as forgotten in my empty past as the rest."

Maglor went still, startled at Esgaron's response, a little confused, as if he could not quite grasp that that anyone would choose him over another, and his eyes were very grateful when he squeezed Esgaron's hand. "Oh, love, no. He is your _father_ and I have hurt him so _very_ badly, Esgaron," he said, his voice almost faltering.

Maglor's words did nothing to cool Esgaron. There was certainly no question he had a Noldorin temper buried under his sweetness and pretty smiles. "That was Ages ago, Cano-- _literally._ A time long before my birth. Things have changed since then," he insisted. "I told you, Cano. We're a family now, for better or worse, whatever might come. I am still missing most of my past, but my future lies with you." He didn't seem to care that his sister was watching as he pulled Maglor into a long, possessive kiss in order to stifle any further protest.

"Esgaron... mmf!" Maglor started to protest before he was silenced. He was startled but he could not help but respond to Esgaron's fire and he was thoroughly breathless once he pulled away. "But the dead are still dead," he pointed out softly.

"So they are," Esgaron agreed, "The dead deserve to be remembered, even if I cannot do so, but it is folly to let them speak for the living. It is not their decision to make. We _will_ be married within a year's time. The question is who will come to witness it."

"Oh, love." Maglor kissed Esgaron again, gentle and grateful, forgetting for a moment their audience. 

Delicately, Celebrían cleared her throat to remind them she was still there. "He can be stubborn, this twin of mine. He gets it from both sides. Clearly, at this point, the blessings are just a formality. It's a wonder the two of you have waited this long," she said. "I will tell our parents about all of this. Perhaps _Naneth_ can bring _Adar_ around. Elrond and I, and our children, were really just more surprised by the news than anything, which is why I had to see it for myself. ...you have changed in some ways, Amroth, but not in all. Truly... Are there _no_ memories of our family?" she asked, "In the meantime, when and where are you planning this wedding? At least one of us should be there for you."

At the reminder, Maglor flushed slightly and shot an apologetic look at Celebrían, although he did not release Esgaron's hand. "I thought your brother deserves better from me than a hasty affair. But I promised him one year, which would make it winter, but... perhaps either next spring or this autumn?" He shot a querying look at Esgaron. "We thought to have it here, in honesty."

Esgaron, for his part, was clearly not shy about kissing his beloved in front of an audience, and he kept tight hold of Maglor's hand. "I would say sooner rather than later, Cano, if only to ease the strength of our desire to be wed. I do not mind traveling, if we must, but it would be sweeter to conclude the ceremony here in the home I built for us. So many of our firsts have been here, and I would find it amiss if that was not among them."

"Still deciding, I see. In that case, might I suggest at least not announcing the date until you have seen my brother in high summer? You will never find him more beautiful," Celebrían said. "I do not imagine bringing a few here too much trouble. We can remain with the Silvan, which is where my sons are currently. It... is neutral ground, but I do not know if our parents will come. Elrond is... uncertain of his feelings for these tidings, but he does wish you both as well as he can."

"I cannot imagine him looking more lovely than he does now," Maglor said fondly, and mention of Elrond brought a wistful look to his eyes. "Elrond was always too kind. I fear I only ever bring him trouble. I am glad that you both do well."

"Oh, surely you've seen how firelight catches in his hair? Perhaps less so the cold sun of winter? Imagine the buttery golden light of a summer afternoon. Truly, he _glows_ in such light." She laughed softly. 

Maglor could imagine, oh yes, and the light kindled in his eyes a little at the thought. 

"Elrond has not forgotten his small part in your song. But the love has never faded. Nor does ours for Amroth," Celebrían continued.

Esgaron himself was blushing faintly, looking a bit uncomfortable with such praises and memories shared. He quietly pulled his hand away from Maglor, running it through his hair in such a way the jagged scar on the side of his head could be seen. He seemed to ignore the pained look Celebrían got when she saw it. "Your confidence is reassuring." He didn't sound at all reassured. "I am sorry I do not have the memories to share with you. They were lost at sea." He moved toward the door. "But you have come a long way. I am sure you would like some rest. Allow me to show you to your quarters." He led her to the extra room he built, and bade her good evening. He looked troubled when he came back to Maglor.

Esgaron's discomfort brought Maglor to his side instantly. "Love?" he prompted gently.

"...I feel as if I must be the worst brother in all the history of our people," Esgaron groaned.

Maglor shook his head and folded Esgaron in his arms. "Oh, Esgaron, how can you be, when 'tis not at all your fault? At least you did not burn your brother alive."

"I... I know, but..." Esgaron sighed, breath warm against Maglor's cheek. "It is hard to describe. There is this... emptiness. And she pricks at it. But it is as an itch that cannot be scratched. It does not go away. I fear it will never be filled, and it would break her heart to try." He nestled more deeply into his beloved's embrace. "It may not be my fault, but it feels awful that I would hurt someone just by being the way I am."

Maglor hugged Esgaron tightly, as if trying to chase away the grief with his arms. "If she is anything like you, I think that to forbid her to try would be a disservice. Like you, I think she is far stronger than she seems. Do not lose hope yet! We still do not know what events may trigger a memory, and although 'tis true that you may never remember her, 'tis also true that we do not know that you will _not_ eventually do that." He pressed a gentle kiss to the golden hair in his arms. "You cannot help it, and I am sure she knows that."

"We can only hope. I minded so little before, but I feel now the cruelty of the stroke that robbed me of my past. I.... don't feel strong right now, Cano," Esgaron whispered.

Maglor kissed Esgaron and held him gently. "You are so very strong, my love, or you would never have survived. You grieve now for what was lost, as you have never had a reason to before. There is no shame or weakness in that."

Esgaron lightly nuzzled in return. "Perhaps you are right, Cano, though it does not make it any easier."

"No." Maglor's arms tightened. "I wish I could make it better for you, love."

"I know. But unless you have stories that can help me regain what was lost, I do not know what," Esgaron sighed.

"I wish I did, but I never ventured amongst the Galadhrim, and know precious little of your past. We might ask your sister? She would know far more than I," Maglor suggested.

"It's all right, Cano. You have done the best you can, and I am grateful for what little I have," Esgaron said, "But I do love you. You are my future, however long it takes for us to be wed." There was a pause. "...how long did you entertain the image of me in summer? Are you wanting to wait until then?"

At first, Maglor couldn't say anything, slightly embarrassed to have been caught. "A while," he admitted shyly. "I... would not mind?"

Esgaron found himself idly playing with a lock of his beloved's dark hair. "I thought I saw the light kindle in your eyes, love. Whether it be this coming summer or the next... Did I not once tell you that I desired you in sunlight? And so you shall have me, perhaps astride you, hair loose so it might catch the light. I hope it should be all you wish it to be," he said.

There was a small hitch in Maglor's breathing as Esgaron talked, and the kiss that followed was a little hungry. "Such pictures you paint for me, Esgaron. I do not know if I want to wait 'til next summer."

Esgaron laughed softly into the kiss. "Unless that is how you want me for our first time together, you do not have to wait until next year's summer. Whether you will last through _this_ summer, though, I cannot say." 

Maglor responded with a soft, amused snort. "If you will insist on painting such lovely pictures of our future you can hardly blame me, Esgaron!"

Esgaron lightly stroked Maglor's cheek. "You are not the only artist in this house, you know. And I work in pictures more readily. It is a pretty thought, though, is it not? Likely few better ways to seal a marriage. We do not have to decide right now," he said. 

Maglor leaned into that hand a little. "You are, and you are a marvel and a joy. Well, we shall both think on it - 'tis still only spring. We have a little time before we must decide."

Esgaron turned a mischievous smile on Maglor, noting the color had not yet left his cheeks. "So readily does your blood quicken, love. Will it cool on its own, or are you too far gone that I must undo you?"

"And no, I will be fine. I do not wish to disturb your sister. Mm, but it would be nice, would it not? For our first time. But we shall see," Maglor replied.

"You are right, though. I would not wish to disturb our guest in such a manner. Although, you are not the one to worry about, for you are usually so quiet. I am the one that would need to be muffled," Esgaron mused.

Maglor made an amused huff. "You certainly are not shy about such things, love. We would be terribly traumatizing for your sister!"

"My sweet Cano." Esgaron nuzzled him fondly. "And truly, what cause would I have for shyness when only you would hear me? I thought you enjoyed knowing how much your efforts were appreciated. Though somehow I doubt she would be as appreciative knowing such things." He paused. "Unless, perhaps..."

Maglor answered with a low laugh and he nuzzled back fondly. "Well, you do make the most lovely sounds! But yes, I rather think your sister would not think about her brother that way." He raised an eyebrow at Esgaron. "... And what are you thinking in that clever mind, my golden one?"

Esgaron blushed, but there was a brightness in his eyes. "Well... If we were to do something... and we certainly do not have to tonight, for I am content to be held close at your side... It would be difficult for me to be so loud if my mouth is busy, don't you think?"

Maglor gave him a startled look and then he tipped his head consideringly, his own light slowly kindling in response. "This is true. But what, my golden one, would you want to occupy your mouth with instead, I wonder."

Esgaron tapped his lips thoughtfully. "Kisses are a fine start." The blush deepened on his cheeks, and his voice dropped as well, eyes brightening. "But what if I undid you with my mouth? Worked to open you up with my tongue? Took you into my mouth rather than my hand...?"

Maglor drew a long, hissing breath and dropped his head to rest against Esgaron's and his voice had gone a little hoarse. "Such plans you think of. But what of you, my bright one? That might keep you quiet but it would not help much if I were to undo you later."

"I... I don't know," Esgaron admitted. "Would it be possible for us both to undo each other at the same time? Or... some other way to gag me?" 

"Theoretically yes, I suppose so, although I imagine the positioning might be interesting. A gag might be... easier, although I do not know what we have that we might use. Leather, perhaps," Maglor said thoughtfully.

"Leather would likely be safer than wood, though wood is more difficult to bite through," Esgaron said. He stroked Maglor's hair gently. He had learned to recognize his lover's desire by now. "But I think we must either try something or turn our thoughts elsewhere, or you will be too far gone, my raven."

Maglor took a deep breath and wrestled his emotions back under control. "Mm, I suppose we could try it, the next time. If you are sure." He then brushed a soft kiss across Esgaron's cheek. "As much as I would like to, not tonight, I think. And you are tired - you will sleep, I suspect, tonight. It has been a long day for you."

Esgaron turned a bit into that soft touch of lips to his skin, lightly kissing Maglor in return. "A wise thought, Cano. Even with the rest I had earlier..." He shook his head. "Her presence has taken its toll upon me. I worry what dreams might come in the wake of this. But having you there to hold me keeps the worst ones at bay."

Maglor huffed softly against Esgaron's hair. "I will stay with you. Do you want me to play tonight?"

For a moment, Esgaron looked away, but then he bit his lip, and slowly brought his eyes back to Maglor. "...perhaps one or two songs? Just enough to bring me rest?"

Maglor nodded and brushed another gentle kiss across Esgaron's cheek. "Let me fetch my harp, then." The pair retired to their bedroom. Maglor sat on the edge of the bed while he checked the tuning and asked, "Is there anything you want to hear, or shall I just play?"

Esgaron leaned against him, but was careful to be out of the way of where Maglor would be playing. "Something of warmth and comfort, love," he decided.

Maglor nodded and considered before picking out a gentle tune on the harp:

_"In the steep path of our common calling,_  
_Be it easy or uneasy to our flesh,_  
_Be it bright or dark for us to follow,_  
_Be it stony or smooth beneath our feet,_  
_Bestow, O Goodly-Wise, your perfect guidance;_  
_Lest we fall, or into error stray._  
_In the shelter of this home,_  
_Be to us our portion and our guide_  
_Sain us and shield us with your Swift Sure Hand,_  
_Lead us in peace to our journey’s end."_

Next to him, Esgaron sighed softly, contently, and after a soft kiss to Maglor's shoulder, moved to lie down, half-drowsing already. "I love how you sing, my pretty raven."

Maglor smiled fondly back at him and continued to pick out the lullabies of his childhood, including the one that Galadriel sang to her children when they were young, now his quiet favourite, knowing that she preserved it. "I am glad you approve, love. Rest you. I will guard your sleep."

"It is easier to sleep with you beside me," Esgaron murmured, but soon the silver eyes closed, and off he drifted.

It was hard to tell what he was dreaming. He moved restlessly in his sleep, but he lacked the pained expressions, whimpers and tears that usually heralded nightmares. It took a while before he truly settled, and so, left to his own devices, he slept longer than usual come the morning, Maglor watching over him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 0\. Maglor's song was pinched from Steven Lawhead because, damnit, I couldn't write anything.  
> 1\. Thought about extending the chapter, but it was so long to the next natural break, it would have turned into Chapterzilla. So, two chapters instead of one, though the action might not be super fast.


	9. A Road I Fear To Tread

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Celebrían suggests seeking Elrond's help, but Esgaron has his misgivings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 0\. Um... actually pretty warning-free this time around. Unless you count our boys getting into an argument (sort of), and some faintly suggestive material.

Celebrían was up well before Esgaron was. Having roused long before her brother, Celebrían noticed the house was all but empty and went looking for her brother. She stopped short in the doorway when she saw he was still asleep. "Oh! Forgive me. I did not realize he would be sleeping..."

Maglor was content to watch him sleep, and he wondered what he dreamt - he, himself, was far too restless to even drop into reverie that night, and when Celebrían came to the door, he smiled apologetically at her from where he sat on the edge of their bed, running a gentle hand through Esgaron's hair. "'Tis fine. Yesterday wore him out, I think. Although he knew objectively that you were coming, I do not think he realized truly what that might mean to him until you were here."

For a moment or two, she just watched him sleep. "Even I have so rarely seen him like this. Are you sure he is all right?"

"He will be, I think," Maglor said quietly. "He still sleeps like this from time to time. I suspect the injuries tell on him - particularly the head injury. Everything else healed swiftly and well but... the mind is a tricky thing."

Celebrían sighed softly. "How much have you not told me, Maglor? What all has happened to my dear brother?"

"I spared you most of his injuries," Maglor admitted, "And I did not speak of his despair when he could not remember who he was, or when he remembered Nimrodel and realised he had lost her and thought he had failed his kingdom." He looked at her directly. "But he _does_ heal, Lady Celebrían."

She shook her head. "I wish Elrond were here... Perhaps he could do something." Her eyes moved to Maglor's hand, gently stroking the bright golden hair. "...It is obvious how deeply your love runs. But, can you tell me, _truly_ , is he _happy_ here? Does he ever ask to come back to us? Or..." She bit her lip momentarily. "When we were young, he used to have what he called his tree song because he said the trees gave it to him and he most liked to sing it up in their branches. When he was happiest, he would always hum or sing it..." She hummed a cheerful, almost jaunty little tune, and indeed, it was one Maglor had surely heard him idly humming or whistling, mostly while building or woodworking, but also sometimes a slower, gentler version during otherwise quiet, intimate, contented moments with Maglor. "Does he still sing it?"

"He... has never asked beyond wanting to know what I could tell him of his family. But... I do not really know any of you saving your mother, and a little of your husband. I... I have... I hope he is happy. He seems to be?" Maglor said with a shrug. His eyes brightened with memory at the tune. "He does. Usually when he's building."

Her gaze took on that peculiar ability among the female Noldor that seemed to manage to strip away all pretense and gaze right into someone's heart. Surely, she was not _intentionally_ trying to be creepy? ...ok, maybe a little... "And does he ever sing it for _you?_ " she asked.

 _........ WHY DO THEY ALL HAVE EYES LIKE THAT?_ demanded Caranthir, and Maglor flushed and dropped his gaze. 

"Yes. Sometimes. Not. Quite like that, but yes," he mumbled.

Her piercing gaze did not falter. "How does he sing it for you, then?"

Maglor stifled the urge to whine under that gaze. "Softer." He refused to look at her, to meet those eyes. "Sweeter," he said shyly, "Like this." And he hummed it back, softly, the tune Esgaron would sing for him.

She closed her eyes momentarily. "So, he is then. Good." They opened again, resting on Esgaron. "...he looks so peaceful like that. I'm glad he's happy. It... still seems so strange, though. Part of me just wants to ask _why?_ Why this happened at all. Why he was given into your hands. I suppose I don't need to ask why you fell in love with him," she mused, "His well being... It means so much to me. I did not know what I was going to do without him. He is not just my brother. He is my _twin._ Like the other half of me." She turned those clear, grey eyes on Maglor. "I know what lies upon you. And I dread it coming for my brother. I cannot speak for anyone else in my family, but, if you can promise me one thing, and keep that promise, I can give you my blessing."

"I learnt long ago not to make promises I cannot keep, "Maglor said softly, "I cannot say yea or nay, but if you ask it, I will try, Lady Celebrían."

"Promise me you will protect him. That you will keep him safe as much as you are able. That he will not be lost to us a second time. Whatever it means. Whatever it takes," she said. "Can you do that for me?"

"That you did not even need to ask," Maglor said, nodding, "If I can in any way spare him my curse, I will."

 _Even if it means leaving him?_ Celegorm pointed out.

 _He has made the hard choice before,_ Curufin retorted.

"Thank you. I hate to sound selfish, but you must understand how much I love my brother. I do not know what I would do if he were truly gone," Celebrían said, sounding noticeably relieved. "Still. As long as you protect him, my beautiful, shining brother, you have my blessing."

"You do not," Maglor assured her with a shake of his head, "I would give much to have any of my brothers back, and I remember well how Ambarussa was after Losgar, even if I was not a twin myself." He offered her a ghost of a smile. "He is your brother, even if he does not remember you, eh? I will do my best."

"He is my brother, no matter what," she said firmly. But her expression was troubled. "Truly? He doesn't remember me at all? I... have difficulty believing that..."

"I... am not sure," Maglor said, "I had to tell him all your names - yours, your husband's, your parents... even his own, for he did not recall them. He did not seem to react except in confusion. Whether he remembers more now that you are here... perhaps."

"...I see." She hesitated. "I suppose I should just let him sleep, hmm?"

"Probably for the best," Maglor agreed. He gave Esgaron's hair a last fond tousle and he pulled himself away, rising quietly to beckon her to their kitchen. "He was uneasy last night - he sleeps very deeply now. I do not know when he will wake, but at the least, I should not deprive my guest of breaking her morning fast!"

That caught her attention. "...what do you mean, 'uneasy'?" she demanded.

"Restless... uneasy. I think he dreamed, last night, but I do not know what he dreamed. Normally, he does not remember, but I think he sometimes dreams of the storm and his near drowning. But he did not settle for a while," Maglor explained.

"Did he seem upset? Hurt?" Celebrían looked at him anxiously.

"No... just... uneasy. Unhappy, maybe, but I could not tell. Not his normal nightmare, I think," Maglor said, shrugging.

"Does he usually have nightmares when he sleeps? Doesn't he have reverie anymore?" she asked. "Poor Amroth. He must have been through so much to have a 'normal' nightmare."

"Not for a while now - as he heals, he sleeps less, and I do not think he has had a nightmare for... mm, some time, on reflection," Maglor said. He looked back towards the bedroom. "It was very hard for him, but he _does_ heal, Lady Celebrían."

"But he is not _healed,_ is that so?" she counted with a wistful sigh. "Still, I'm sure being well-nourished will help. What fare do you have this morning?"

"He still sleeps, and he does not remember," Maglor said, nodding. "So I would say, _not yet,_ still. Whether he will ever remember everything, I do not know." He gave her a shy shrug. "Mostly, Esgaron does the cooking, and we live very simple lives here. We should still have plenty of bread and jam, I think, as well as fruit."

"We can only hope." She laughed a little at the shy offering. "Fear not, life in Imladris has not completely spoiled me. Simple fare will do nicely. How sweet that my dear brother does the cooking. What else does he do these days?"

Maglor smiled wryly. "Some days it feels like he does most of the useful things around here... but no - he carves, mostly!"

Her gaze flickered around the many carvings visible in the house woodwork, and she nodded and smiled. "So I see. He has always had very talented hands. I suppose you've discovered that for yourself by now, haven't you?" Oh sure, it seemed like an innocuous comment, but something about the smile playing over her lips hinted there may be more to it than what was on the surface.

There was the tiniest of flushes at the implications, but Maglor's voice was even. "He is very talented, is your brother. And he has a very great heart."

"Which is why I beg you not to break it," she said. 

"I will do my best," Maglor promised.

"He dreams of you, at least a little, you know. I caught a flicker of it this morning," Celebrían said offhand.

Maglor startled, blinking at her in surprise. "He... does?"

"You did not know? I only caught a very little bit, but as I am sure you know, twin thoughts are almost never closed to each other," she said. "Anyway. He adores you, clearly. And he is... remarkably eager for your upcoming nuptials."

Well. Whatever he was expecting to hear from her, that certainly wasn't it. Maglor flushed bright red at that and ducked his head, refusing to make eye contact. He scrambled to find something to say. "I... I am happy that... that he is happy."

"As well you should be. That you figure so fondly in his dreams is surely proof of the depths of his love for you," she said airily.

Maglor desperately searched for an opportunity to change the subject as he rifled through the larder. "Would you like a slice of berry cake?" he asked.

She smiled. "Yes, please. Did my brother make it?"

"Did I hear you offering cake?" Esgaron came in, not quite fully awake, so it was with bedroom eyes that he glanced at Maglor. The golden hair was unbound, falling into his eyes and spilling over his shoulders in a remarkably artful tumble for having just woken. Though he showed no other evidence of the dreams his sister mentioned, when he smiled at Maglor and came over for their habitual good morning kiss and an affectionate nuzzle, it was with lips swollen as they often were after their times together. "Good morning, Cano. And to you, my lady."

"Mm, no, this one is my mother's recipe," Maglor said. He smiled at Esgaron's greeting and the flush got much worse when it was obvious what he must have been dreaming, and the resulting good morning kiss was a little shy. "Good morning Esgaron." _Don't think about it, don't think about it, change the subject,_ he chanted mentally. "You and your sweet tooth, love. Did you wake up simply because I was offering a treat to your sister?"

"So shy, Cano? I suppose we are not used to having an audience. I am sorry," Esgaron said, noting Maglor's sudden reticence. "Well, I am hungry, but no, I... just woke up is all."

 _Something like that,_ snorted Celegorm in amusement.

"Mm, well, if you want, there is enough of the berry cake left for all of us. I have not seen what else is available yet," Maglor offered.

"Well, I think it sounds lovely. Won't you sit down?" Celebrían said. She gestured for Amroth to come and sit at the table.

"Well, normally I am the one who does the meals, but..." Esgaron trailed off, an odd expression on his face. Maglor would recognize it as the slight confusion when something was starting to trip one of his long-lost memories.

Indeed, Maglor did and paused, motioning Celebrían to stillness. "Esgaron?" he said softly and carefully.

Celebrían looked entirely confused, and looked to Maglor with her _sanwe-latye._ _~*I do not understand. What is going on?*~_

There was the slightest flinch at the touch of her mind to his, and the return was clumsy, Maglor watching Esgaron carefully. _~*He... is remembering something*~_

Esgaron's gaze was fixed on Celebrían's hand, where there was a small scar, many thousands of years old by then. He studied it intently. "I... I know this mark..." He reached out as if he were going to touch it, but let his hand drop before he made contact.

Celebrían watched him warily, but with hope in her eyes. "Yes... I am sure you do. You were there."

Maglor stayed quiet, watching, and prayed to whoever still listened to a kinslayer, that Esgaron would remember something. It upset him, Maglor knew, and it surely hurt her too, having nothing but empty spaces in the place your twin should have been. The Ambarussa had never been the same after either.

Esgaron half closed his eyes, trying to envision the moment of his past. "There... There were trees. I was climbing. You... tried to follow, but slipped. A branch cut your hand. You cried. Not because it hurt, but... you were scared. Of what our parents would say. I... I wrapped it and kissed it, and... said to tell them to blame me..." He started to smile. "Because I promised to look out for my sister. Yes?" He gave Celebrían a shy, hopeful look that melted into relief at her answering nod.

"It is a start, Amroth." She moved to hug her brother, especially happy when he returned the embrace. The silver of her hair was equally bright next to his gold as she rested her head against his for the moment.

Maglor smiled and quietly left the twins to their reunion, busying himself with setting the table for breakfast. A non-cook one today, he thought. Fruit, and bread and jam and the last of the berry cake.

Soon, Esgaron broke free and came to the table, sitting beside Maglor. "It looks wonderful, Cano. Thank you."

Maglor smiled back at him. "Well, I thought it was my turn to do some work around here, hm? I am glad you have reclaimed another piece of your past."

"You do plenty of work around here, Cano," Esgaron replied. "And yes. A small bit, but better than nothing. At least I remember having a sister now."

"That is all to the good, eh?" Maglor smiled at Esgaron and squeezed his hand. 

At first, Celebrían was quiet, but then she spoke up gently. "You know, my husband is one of the finest healers in all Middle-earth. If you went to see him, perhaps he could help you, Amroth."

Maglor nodded at Celebrían. "A good point. Would you consider it, love?"

Esgaron's expression seemed impassive at first glance, but uncertainty flickered in his eyes. "I certainly cannot imagine it would do any _harm..._ But what about you, Cano? I only just got back a few weeks ago from my last visit to the Silvan. I cannot just leave you again so soon. I do not want you to be alone that long."

Maglor squeezed Esgaron's hand and shrugged. "I can manage. I have been alone before, after all. I think it might help? Elrond is rightly famed."

A stubbornness came into Esgaron's features, and he opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it again, evidently thinking better of whatever he was about to say as he glanced over at Celebrían. Then he sighed and dropped his gaze. "Let me take a little time to think it over before any decisions are made. If I do go, Cano, you deserve to get something out of it as well. And don't you dare say that having me fully healed is reward enough, because, for one thing, we do not know if that is even possible. For another, I am not going to let you keep punishing yourself with self-denial," he said. 

"It _would_ be enough, for me." Maglor smiled at him a little sadly. "And if there were any on this side of the Sea who could accomplish that, it _would_ be Elrond."

"There are crafters in Imladris, aren't there? What about two sets of wedding clothes? White is impossible to come by in these parts, and I am not sure I trust the task of finding such suitable garments among the wares of Dwarves and Men. What color were you wanting to wear, Cano?" Esgaron continued, evidently ignoring Maglor's words.

"But if that is what you want... As for myself... I do not know. I suppose I favour blue, although red was father's colour? What do you want me in, Esgaron?" Maglor asked.

"Hmmm." Esgaron gave Maglor a long look. "What did you wear... before?"

"Whatever _amil_ or later Fal decided to put me in," Maglor said dryly. "But blue, mostly."

"Well, this is a new chapter, so I think you should wear a different color than you did when you and Fal were wed. Red, if that is your choice. Perhaps green for new beginnings. Black, if you wish. Just... something different," Esgaron said.

Maglor tipped his head, consideringly and then shook his head a little. "I do not think I could wear red - that was ever Maedhros' colour, and father's. Green, perhaps? What do you think, love?"

Esgaron reached over to toy with a lock of Maglor's hair, smiling fondly. "Though I have seen little of you in it, I think you would look quite fetching in green, my pretty raven. Especially if you choose the spring or summer for the wedding. But it is truly up to you."

Maglor almost laughed, knowing the reason was because nowadays he only had two sets of clothes in various stages of 'so faded you couldn't tell what colour they used to be, but they looked kind of grey now?' "Mm, then green, I suppose." He smiled at Esgaron fondly. To Celebrían, he asked, "If we were to have a summer wedding, would it be too soon?"

She gave them a surprised look. "This coming summer? It does not leave much time to prepare, but I do not think it impossible," she said. "Still... it has only been a matter of weeks since we received word that you wished for blessings for your pending betrothal. Is it not rushing things somewhat to not wait until next year?"

"I was thinking of the next," Maglor apologised and corrected himself, "That, or spring. One year for us would have been winter but... I do not think it an appropriate season to celebrate new beginnings, although it has a beauty of its own."

"Ah, I see. In that case, I do not expect it will be any trouble." She gave them a cheeky grin. "Though, I daresay for the two of you, it cannot come soon enough."

Maglor flushed at that and looked down shyly, but the hand in Esgaron's tightened on his.

Esgaron squeezed back and brushed a sweet kiss over Maglor's cheek. "We will manage. And we will need to discuss things before we decide if I leave here for any measure of time. I'm sure Lord Elrond cannot be spared to come here long enough to try treating me. I am sure even the best healing used on me would take weeks to fix. The damage done to me was barely survivable."

"That much is true." Maglor nodded. "We would need to pack you provisions, love. I do not think we have enough stores for such at the moment, although it would be easiest if you followed your sister back."

Esgaron got that stubborn look again. "Cano... I think we need to _discuss_ this first before we start anything like that," he urged.

Maglor made a soft, amused noise. "Alright, alright. I will stop trying to make your decisions for you, Esgaron... I just want to see you well again."

Celebrían sensed her brother's increasing agitation and stood. "I will let you two talk things over. I will just be outside. Call for me if you need me." She bowed slightly and exited.

Esgaron sighed once she was gone. "I do not know if this is something I want to do, Cano. I know you want the best for me, but I worry about _you_ as well," he said. "I still see clearly in my mind how you were the last time I came home. I know you try not to let me see you that way, and that is what frightens me. I couldn't bear to leave you in such misery, gone for who knows how long. You have said it yourself. You do not know how to manage without me anymore."

Maglor seemed to wilt a little, pulling into himself, although he did not move. "I know. But I have been alone before - I can manage, if I have to. I... do not want to trouble Elrond by making him host me as well as you - there are Noldo in his Valley who remember me, after all," he said. "If... you like, I could maybe follow at a distance?"

"And where would you stay upon my arrival, if not in Imladris? I don't want to force you to stay out in the elements. Nor do I want you to be alone, love," Esgaron countered. "I know you want me healed. I know that Celebrían wants me to spend time among her family, but... you are my family too. To be asked to choose one over the other is heartbreaking." His jaw tightened. "You say you can manage being alone. I say I have been able to manage well enough letting nature take its course with my progress." He sighed and rested his head against Maglor's shoulder. "I do not mean to be difficult, but this is hard for me, you must understand."

"I can stay in the trees on the borders," Maglor pointed out, "I _have_ camped rough before, Esgaron. I just... I worry. You still sleep more than you should. Even the stress of a day like yesterday wears on you." Maglor pulled him close and kissed the golden hair. "I know. I just... want you well."

"I would still feel a lot better knowing you had proper shelter. Someone to look out for you. To be there with you when the fearful shadows close in. And you do not get the rest _you_ need half the time either, Cano. It seems like the only time you stay in bed is after we have been together." 

"I can manage with less sleep than you, love." Because sleep meant dreams unless Esgaron was there, and so Maglor had taught himself to manage without. "And my shadows are all well deserved," he retorted.

"You do not take your reveries either, Cano. And you are not the only one with nightmares. Choosing to be together means we chase each other's shadows away. That is part of the deal," Esgaron insisted.

Maglor sighed softly. "It is... hard to even take reverie without nightmares," he admitted. "It has been that way for so long now that to rest without is always a surprise and I suppose I have... grown out of the habit. But if it worries you, love, I... I will try."

"Of course I worry, Cano. How could I say I love you if I did not? We can try together. You rest, and I can work to not fall asleep as often," Esgaron said.

"Mm, I suppose we can try," Maglor conceded.

A long sigh escaped Esgaron's lips. "...what if he can't fix me, Cano? What if I put us both through all that, and it doesn't do any good? Or if it somehow makes things worse? You think I have forgotten how you were afraid to say things to me because it might interfere with my healing? I just... I don't know. I wish I did, but I don't."

"I trust Elrond," Maglor said firmly. "I am sure he would never make things worse, even if he cannot help." He echoed the sigh, arms tight around Esgaron. "I will not force you, love. If you do not wish it, I will drop it."

Esgaron hesitated. "I do not... distrust Elrond. I cannot say I know him, or at least remember him, well enough to say anything one way or another. It is the situation I do not like. And it is not just leaving you alone, which I still despise that idea... But... if I go... Everyone there is going to remember me as Amroth. And I do not know what that is going to mean, all things considered. It killed me to see the look on my sister's face when she realized I did not know her. I do not know if I can stand it again, over and over, when I am presented with faces I should know and don't. Besides... There are expectations that follow that name that I do not have as Esgaron. I might be expected to take them up again if Elrond is successful," he said quietly. "It worries me. I have chosen a new life, Cano. One with you. I cannot just walk away from that. But I do not know how I can face the disappointment in explaining that. Celebrían was bad enough, and she has taken things better than I hoped." His voice dropped even more. "...I'm not sure I can do this."

"As ever, you speak wisdom. We... could always see if Elrond would be willing to come here? I would suggest you go in secret - Elrond would understand if you want to stay Esgaron and not Amroth - but I do not know if that might be accomplished - we Elves have always liked to gossip, after all," Maglor mused. "At the end of the day, the only people whose opinions will matter are those dear to you and I think... I think that Amroth or Esgaron, those closest to you would understand. You are, and have been, a grown _ellon_ for some time, and your decisions are ultimately yours to make - I am sure none would begrudge you a choice." He stroked the golden hair. "If you think you cannot, love, then I will not make you. Only think on it, for me?"

"If he is not willing to depart long enough to treat me..." Esgaron considered for a few moments. "If you will come with me, and they can host us quietly so that others are not aware of our presence... Then, perhaps, I will go. A lot to ask, I know, but this is no easy task for me either."

Maglor shrugged a little, looking thoughtful. "He is Lord of the Valley now - I am sure he would be _willing,_ the question is if he would be _able._ But..." He faltered. "I... I suppose I can... if ....." He spoke quietly. "It would be good to see him again."

Esgaron embraced Maglor close. "Together. But the fewer people who know we are there, the better. I do not want to be fussed over as the long-lost king. I do not want you chased away with cries of 'Kinslayer!' But I need you with me. I will not leave you behind. Not for this. Any chance of that happening ended the day you put this ring on my finger," he said. "Are we decided, then?"

Maglor nodded jerkily and buried his face in Esgaron's hair. "Alright. Together. And let us hope this will work."

Esgaron softly kissed the tip of Maglor's ear. "Will you be very much saddened if it does not? Part of me wants it back. The rest is terrified by that thought. But, either way, I promise not to leave you, _Meleth._ "

Gently, Maglor turned his head to brush a kiss across Esgaron's cheek in answer. "Not... overly so, I think. Even if he could help with your nightmares, it would be good. Although I do not think you have had one for a while. And... I believe you."

"You help keep them away, Cano. Your songs. Your presence. The warmth of your arms in the night. The sounds of your heartbeat and breathing... You make me feel safe." Esgaron lightly gave Maglor an affectionate nuzzle. 

"And you have been my rock in the seas of my life." Maglor nosed back fondly. "I did not know how adrift I was until I met you. You make everything brighter."

Esgaron raised an eyebrow slightly--interesting choice of words, there, Maglor, all things considered. But he understood the sentiment and smiled for him. "I love you, too," he said. "Should we call for my lady sister? Or just enjoy the two of us together for the moment?"

Maglor huffed fondly into Esgaron's hair and just held him for a bit, but... "We probably should. It would hardly be polite to leave her to her own devices. And she will be best able to answer, if Elrond would even be free to come, if he could."

"Of course," Esgaron agreed. "But, first... _What_ has gotten into you to make you as shy and blushing as a maiden this morning?"

Maglor was silent as his shocked mind hunted for the right thing to say. "Ah... you... were dreaming last night, yes? Twins are. Very close. Your sister apparently mm, 'heard' you," he explained faintly.

Esgaron shrugged, and he had that particular blankness in his expression that he got when a memory simply would not surface. "I suppose I did. But I do not remember what they were. Why? What did she say?"

Poor Maglor began blushing. "I do believe you were dreaming about us, love. _Vividly._ "

"...oh. I see. I have no control over such things, but at least they were pleasant dreams? And she does not seem upset by them." Esgaron gently stroked Maglor's cheek. "And such color in your cheeks becomes you, love."

"Especially when you do not remember another nearby soul may be listening, I suppose that is true. But when you kissed me this morning, love, I could see where your dreams had taken you. And your sister is a tease." Maglor almost sounded sulky about it. But, slowly the blush was fading and he huffed softly at Esgaron. "I suppose, in that sense, we need not fear traumatizing her too much, as she seems intent on taking things in stride."

"So... we don't need to worry about gagging me?" Esgaron teased.

Fresh color washed into Maglor's face at the sudden audacity. " _Definitely_ twins. Ai! Such a trial you must have been to your parents." But he kissed Esgaron's cheek fondly as he said it. "I think I would still prefer _not_ to advertise our doings to your sister, even if she seems accepting now! A dream is one thing, to have to _listen_ to your brother... mm, I think I might spare her that!"

"All right, all right, Cano. Best behavior, I promise," Esgaron laughed. He leaned against Maglor. "I _told_ you that you kept the bad dreams away. Even if my memories can come back, I don't think that will keep the nightmares away. I need _you._ "

With a soft sigh, Maglor wrapped his arms around Esgaron tightly. "I won't go," he promised, "Unless you send me away, I will stay with you. I will come with you to Rivendell."

"Thank you, Cano. It means more to me than you know." Esgaron gave him a soft, light kiss. "Let me call for my sister, and see what she thinks." He opened a window. "Celebrían? You may come back in now, if you wish."

She came back in a few minutes later. "I take it you have had time to talk? Any decisions made?" she asked.

Maglor hugged Esgaron back and hoped desperately that nothing untoward would come of it, but he managed a smile for Celebrían, the old practiced ease of the politician. "We have, aye. Esgaron admits he would prefer being treated here, but we both know Lord Elrond is often busy and such a thing might not be feasible. If the two of us came in secret to the Valley, would that work?" he asked.

"I am sorry, but I cannot leave him behind. And, all things considered, I would appreciate discretion in the matter. If Elrond cannot come here, the fewer people who know about our presence in Imladris, the better," Esgaron added.

For a few moments, she was quiet, thinking. "I do not think Elrond could be away for that long, else he would have come with me. But I know he fondly misses the both of you," she mused. "Keeping your presence secret in Imladris will... not be easy. There are many curious eyes and ears and over-merry tongues. I cannot promise that no one will know, and even less that no one will _suspect._ But, if you wish to come, I will do what I can to protect your anonymity. Elrond and I turn no one away who is in need of aid or respite."

"Does... does Erestor still remain by Elrond's side?" Maglor asked thoughtfully. "If there are any who would know how this might be accomplished, I imagine it would be he."

Celebrían nodded. "He does, yes. A master of discretion, as is our Lindir. But I do not promise either will grant you a warm welcome, Maglor."

"I would not expect it of either of them." Maglor shrugged, but there was a pleased tilt to his eyes at the news that Erestor is still there. "But it is not welcome I seek, only discretion. Erestor would understand - it has been a long time since I released him from my service, after all."

"I fear, in keeping you hidden, we can only offer the most basic of comforts. I hope you do not find that objectionable," Celebrían said. "...and there will be the matter of keeping my sons quiet as well. You know how twins can be."

Through all this, Esgaron remained silent, his expression quietly frustrated. If these were names that he once knew, he knew them no longer. At one point, he gave Maglor a questioning look, hoping for some hint that might trigger something.

Maglor squeezed Esgaron's hand in response and answered softly, "You would not have known Erestor well, if at all, I think. But he was one of mine - a scout - one of the very best for his young age. When ... we released Elrond and Elros, Erestor went with them, with our blessing. Lindir I do not know."

To Celebrían, Maglor shook his head a little. "I do not mind. I have lived with far less, in the past. And aye, I remember well the vagaries of young twins."

"We have some little-used quarters on a far end of the halls. Perhaps we can keep you there. And my sons are children no longer, despite how they might act at times, nearly 1800 years. No one was surprised at their birth, with Elrond and I both having twin brothers of our own. But they accompanied me here. They will know you on the way back," she said. She looked sympathetically at her brother. "If you are wishing to reunite and remember, I do not think anyone would begrudge you, Amroth."

Esgaron just shook his head. "I will be all right. I do not want to cause any trouble."

"Any out of the way place will do," Maglor agreed and nodded. "I do not mind. I assume you are thinking of us accompanying you back then?" He squeezed Esgaron's hand again and asked softly, "Too soon?"

Esgaron hesitated but a moment, but then shook his head again. "I-- no, it will be fine. It just feels as if I have only just gotten home again." 

"It does, a little." Maglor smiled sympathetically and kept squeezing Esgaron's hand.

"The mead should be all right while we are away. And we will likely want to bring the hunting gear. I do not think we have rations enough to pack to get that far," Esgaron mused.

Celebrían nodded decisively. "Good! We will welcome you with us on the way back. My sons wait with the Silvan. How long will you need to pack?"

"I... do not think it will take us long. Neither of us have much. But we will need a few things," Maglor said.

She considered. "Can you be ready by the next dawn?"

Esgaron squeezed back gently. "Most likely. Do you agree, Cano?"

"I think so, yes. Our hunting things. A few small rations. My harp, your tools. Those are the only things that can't be left behind, I think," Maglor said. 

"Glad to hear. I will see about sending word ahead to Imladris to prepare for your stay with us. Otherwise, I will leave you to your packing," Celebrían said with a smile.

As she departed, Esgaron moved to pack his things with a sigh. "It feels strange to go so far..." he murmured. "Do you wish to bring any tradeable goods while we're at it? We might find things for the wedding."

"Mm, it will be the furthest either of us have stirred for a while." Maglor came over to wrap his arms around Esgaron in a hug before turning to his own packing. "That is a good idea - what do we have apart from the furs? I do not wish to bring too much, by the same token - we can trap and hunt on the way, after all."

"I have a few carvings that might be worth something." Esgaron picked up one of the smaller pieces, one of a deer family, examining it. He sighed as he tucked it away. "I hope this is a good idea."

Maglor paused and came over to hug Esgaron again. "I am sorry. Am I pushing you too hard? We can always tell her that you changed your mind?" he suggested.

Esgaron shook his head, smiling faintly. "Oh, Cano, no... You're not... I just... I don't know what to think of this." He went silent for a long time. "...why do you want this for me so badly, Cano? I do not blame you, I am not upset, I just... want to know."

Maglor was quiet, turning it over before slowly answering. "I think... part of it is simple worry. You still sleep more than you should, I think. And if there is a reason that your memories do not return, if there is a hidden injury... it would be good for someone with experience to look at you," he said. "And... also... I... I am sorry. I feel as if... without all your memories, I fear I will always worry that... that I am in some way taking advantage. I know you have told me a thousand times that it does not matter but... it is difficult for me to believe it."

There was, for a moment, a look of trepidation on Esgaron's face, a flash of panic in his eyes. "And... if they never come back...? Cano... Are you...?" He couldn't quite finish the question. Questions, plural, if he was being honest. _Are you ever going to be comfortable with me? Are you still going to marry me? Are you going to leave me because you can't forgive yourself? Are you going to give in to your fear?_

Maglor buried his face in Esgaron's hair and there was a tremble in the hands that held on tight. "I will manage. I will find a way. I love you, Esgaron."

"I love you, too. Don't you dare scare me like that again. I do not want to be something that you have to _manage,_ Cano. I do not want there to be conditions or qualifiers or anything else. Just love and trust." He picked up his pack, all his necessities tucked inside, but something flashed in his grey eyes. "Come on. My sister is waiting for us."

"I am sorry." _Contrite,_ Maglor chided himself. "I always make things harder for you." Fretful, a hand went up to tug on his hair. "I know. It should be easy, and I apologise that it is not."

"Cano... don't."

"Sorry." Maglor ducked his head and backed off.

"We have a long journey ahead of us. Anything else you want to take along?" Esgaron asked one last time. 

"Not really. I will bring some of the furs I think, but there is not much else," Maglor said.

"Then let us not keep my sister waiting any longer."


	10. They Will Tell You Both Yes And No

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Celebrían offers what support she can as they begin the journey to Imladris.

Packed and ready, Esgaron, followed by Maglor, met with Celebrían outside, and they headed out, moving further inland. Esgaron was quiet much of the time, his expression preoccupied, even when he slept. Where the other two walked on the ground, though, Esgaron preferred the trees, moving lightly among the branches. Celebrían, for her part, was just as nimble as her brother, even as she kept her feet on the ground. But she kept throwing concerned looks in Esgaron's direction when he was not looking, and since Esgaron wasn't talking, most of her conversations were with Maglor.

At one point, when they had stopped to rest, not far from the Silvan village, she shook her head and looked to Maglor. "...he does not want to do this, does he?" she asked.

Maglor himself was quiet and withdrawn. He was too much a politician, even after all this time, to not smile for Celebrían and talk to her, but notably, he did not sing. When she asked him directly, he seemed to pull into himself guiltily.

"No. He does not." He all but whispered it.

She raised an eyebrow. "And you blame yourself?"

Maglor shrugged a little. "He does it for me," he admitted.

She took a long breath, and then turned that clear, piercing gaze on him. "All right. Out with it. Tell me what is going on, or _no one_ is going back to Imladris," Celebrían demanded.

Maglor flinched, dropping his eyes from hers. "I... I struggle," he admitted, "I love him, but I fear... his love tangled in the fact that the only thing he knows is me. That... his lack of memories makes... his affection suspect. I know I should not! I know he does not care. But I fear it, all the same. So... he will try. For me."

"He started this, did he not?" she asked, "Surely you must have been able to tell that he was falling in love with you even before that first kiss. If you were so concerned, why not stop it long before now?"

"I cannot." Maglor pulled in on himself further. "I am a very selfish creature. I did not... I do not want him to go. But, I fear for him if he stays. It is unreasonable, I know. But I cannot silence the fear."

For a while, she didn't say anything, just shaking her head at him. "You are a very lucky idiot, Maglor. Especially if my brother is going through something he does not want just for you. I suggest you start making some decisions of your own for him," she said tersely.

"I know." Maglor's eyes went up to track the flash of gold in the trees. "I do not know why he loves me. It would be kinder for him if he did not. But I cannot let such a love go."

Celebrían followed his gaze. "He will be asleep soon, I am sure of it." Could Amroth yet hear them? Most likely. But if he had an objection, he would surely have come down and said something. She turned her attention back to Maglor. "I will not ask you to let him go. But, if you do not think this is for the best... We are not far from your home. My sons are not far ahead. You could turn around now, and let us leave you in peace."

"I do not want to make any choices without his say," Maglor said, shaking his head. "If he... is willing to do this for me, then I will stay beside him. But I will ask him if he wants to go home instead."

She pursed her lips thoughtfully. "You have both been very quiet this trip. Did you quarrel before you came along?"

"Not as such, but... yes, I suppose you could say that," Maglor admitted. "We... he was... disappointed in me."

"What did you do, Maglor?" Even though she kept her tone calm, almost gentle, there was no escaping the accusation in her eyes.

Again there was that cringing withdrawal. "I... I... he asked me why this was... important and I... I admitted that part of it was... because I... feared that the memory loss was impacting... was going to impact our relationship," Maglor stammered.

"I take it he did not take that answer well," Celebrían quipped.

"No," he whispered softly. "He is right, of course, but I... cannot seem to stop the whispers."

Her look sharpened. "'Whispers'? What do you mean?" she demanded.

The smile she got was a little bleak. "'Maglor is mad', people say. They are right, you know. I hear them, always, the dead and gone. Sometimes clearer, sometimes less. My brothers are the loudest, although Esgaron's presence soothes them. But they are not the only ones. 'You will only bring him death,' they say. 'As you brought it to us. How could he love you? He does not understand how terrible you are. He will leave you. Everyone does.' And so on, and so on. Most of the time, I can ignore them. But... " He shrugged.

For a while, Celebrían was quiet. Thoughtful. "Maglor, do you know the name Nimrodel?" she asked at last, "And if so, what do you know of it?"

"I..." He paused, looking thoughtful. "It was in the song he said the Silvan taught him. He thought, we both did, that it was the name of his lost beloved."

Celebrían nodded. "Indeed, she was. But that doesn't tell you what my brother went through for her sake," she said. "I remember the day they met. He was smitten at first sight. Of course, he caught her eye too, how could he not, but she led him on a chase that lasted almost four thousand years. I thought waiting half an Age for Elrond was bad, but what happened between Amroth and Nimrodel..." She shook her head. "He created the _talan_ for the sake of her and her people, to keep them safely off the ground. He went to war to protect those lands from the Enemy, though he had not been there all that long, and when she blamed our people and him included for bringing strife so close to their borders, even though they may have fallen had it not been for his valiance, he never lifted a sword again. When the Last Alliance was called, my brother was the only lord of our people who did not answer it. He claimed it was because, should the Enemy's lines break through, he would be the next defense, but, truly, it was because of her. My mother protected those woods with her ring until we left for Imladris to find my father, and Amroth toiled _endlessly_ to maintain the purity of that forest with little more than his own sheer will and ingenuity. He treated with the Ents. And still, for centuries on end, he never came so much as a step closer until he promised to sail into the West with her. And we thought he died trying to get back to her when she was lost," she explained. "Do you understand, Maglor? Do you see the blind devotion he gives to those he loves, with no concern for his own well-being? He will never leave you, unless forced to do so."

Maglor was quiet for a long time, listening. "I did not know," he said softly in the end, "Although I guessed a little, I suppose. I do not deserve him, but if his heart is given... I suppose I can only try to be worthy of that devotion."

"Amroth has always had so much love to give. He has always just wanted to make people happy," she sighed.

"He succeeds," Maglor said quietly, "I would that he had found another more deserving, but at the same time... I am glad he did not."

Suddenly, Celebrían glanced upward with a bit of a frown. "How is your climbing, Maglor?" she asked. "He sleeps, but... he is in need of comfort. It is you he wants."

Maglor looked up and bit his lip. "Better than it used to be, although I am no wood elf," he answered. "I will go to him."

"...you are nervous to climb up to him?" she asked, "Should we demand he sleep on the ground after this?"

"I... have bad memories of following people onto high places," Maglor said wryly, "I can manage." _Esgaron isn't Elwing, he isn't going to jump,_ he reminded himself, and went to scramble up into the tree. He wasn't anywhere near as graceful as Esgaron, or even Celebrían herself, but he could manage.

Not unusually, Esgaron was fast asleep in the tree, curled up into the tightest ball he could manage, tucked into the crux of numerous branches. He looked surprisingly comfortable like that, except for the fact one of his arms was wrapped around one of the branches in a death grip. His beautiful face wore a slight frown that seemed almost too mild for his stranglehold on the tree. He was more still than usual--instinct born of his lofty perch? Perhaps. And he was silent, not making the typical sounds of a nightmare, nor the contented sighs of his happy dreams. Maglor settled next to him, never entirely as comfortable as his lover in the trees and chewed his lip as he tried to work out what to do. Possibly startling him awake with touch was the _worst_ thing he could do right now, so... Softly, he started to sing, wordlessly -

_Sunlight through the trees, bright flowers lifting their heads, deep green shadows._

After a few minutes, Esgaron's eyes opened, and he looked at Maglor blearily in confusion. "Cano? What are you doing up here?"

"Hello, love." With Esgaron awake, Maglor permitted himself the indulgence of reaching across to thread his fingers lightly through the tips of Esgaron's hair. "Your sister was worried. Said you weren't sleeping well."

Esgaron stifled a yawn, sure to go back to sleep soon. "You shouldn't be up here. It would be too easy for you to fall. And we are not nearly high enough if you wanted privacy for us." He said nothing about his sleep.

"I will not fall." Maglor shook his head a little. "So long as I do not sleep, eh? And I am here more to keep you company, than anything." His voice became softer. "I am sorry. Are you still angry with me?"

"Cano..." Esgaron was clearly still sleepy, which dulled them, but a dozen emotions flickered over his face. Anxiety. Sadness. Stubbornness. Tenderness. Anger was not one of them. He moved suddenly, as if he just wanted to curl up in Maglor's arms, but he stopped himself from actually doing so. "...you should probably climb back down. Just to be safe. Get some rest, Cano."

"I'm not tired yet," Maglor insisted with a shake of his head, reassured not to see anger there. "I can stay until you sleep again, if you like?"

Esgaron spoke softly. "...you don't have to do that..."

"But maybe I want to." Maglor reached across to brush his hand across Esgaron's. "Because I do not want you to be alone, any more than you wish that for me."

Esgaron hesitated, but then gently curled his fingers around Maglor's. "Just promise me you won't fall or be hurt," he said.

Almost shy, but pleased, Maglor's hand curled fondly around Esgaron's in return. "I won't. You are here, after all," Maglor promised.

"I can't promise I'll keep you safe while I sleep, Cano. And I know the trees bring you no comfort," Esgaron said. 

"They do when you are here," Maglor assured him.

Then, softly, shyly... "...but I am glad to have you. I'm sorry I've been acting cross," Esgaron said.

Maglor ducked his head. "And I am sorry I make it easy to be cross."

Esgaron leaned over and kissed Maglor lightly. No more arguing. "If you are sure you will be all right. Then... Stay. It is hard to sleep without you."

Maglor turned just enough to kiss back, gentle and light. "I will take care," he assured him, "Rest. I will stay."

Esgaron tried to maneuver so they were both as comfortable as possible, resting his golden head on his beloved. He sighed softly as he nestled in, words barely audible on his breath. "...I do love you, Cano..." Then the grey eyes closed, and his breathing fell into an even rhythm.

"And I you," Maglor whispered. He ran a comforting hand through golden hair and wrapped his arms around Esgaron and listened to him breathe. _Am I doing the right thing?_ he asked his ghosts silently, but they gave him no reply and he turned just enough to brush a gentle kiss to golden hair. It didn't matter, he supposed. He was already too far set on this road to turn back now.

_I don't want to let him go._

A faint rustle and scrape against bark was all that announced Celebrían's arrival in the trees. "Looks like we will all be off the ground tonight, then," she said. 

Maglor turned a little to look at her and shrugged a little sheepishly, careful not to jostle Esgaron. "I did not mean to make you come up, Celebrían."

"It's all right. I have been climbing almost as long as my brother," she assured him. She took a long look at her sleeping brother, wrapped in Maglor's arms. "He sleeps better. Part of me wishes my parents could see this. Part of me fears that thought."

A soft sigh escaped Maglor. "Your father is going to be so very angry with me."

Celebrían shook her head. "No, Maglor... He already is. I do believe his words were something along the lines of calling you a Valar-forsaken wolf, not merely content to take away his family, but his hope, his son... That your greed would not know rest until you had devoured the very moon and stars and taken all light from his world."

One of Maglor's eyebrows crooked up. "Well! Lord Celeborn was being unusually charitable, I see. Or he did not wish to use his worse insults in front of you," he quipped.

She gave him a little shrug. "I may have paraphrased somewhat. There was also something about if you did not take and keep your filthy, bloodstained hands off his son, he would like to see them taken off you. And... other things perhaps best left unrepeated," she admitted. 

"Ah. Yes, that sounds more like him," Maglor sighed softly.

"And yet, I look upon you both, and it is plain to anyone with eyes how deep and much your love for each other runs. Should you two be sundered... I do not know what that would do to either of you." She paused. "...and I do not know what will happen if Elrond is able to heal him further."

Maglor sighed again, sobering. "I am not surprised. I am only surprised that it was you who came looking, and not himself with an army looking to rescue his son." 

"We stayed his wrath by asking him to think of Amroth and his happiness. How grateful we should be that he lives and breathes. To think what it would look like to bring forces to his door. Amroth is what is most important to us here. What he needs. And if what he needs is to be with you or without you... We'll have to find a way," she said.

There was a quiet shrug of his own. "I love him. Even if he should choose otherwise, that will not change. All the way in the beginning I told him I would stay until he sent me away. If Elrond can bring Amroth back, and Amroth no longer loves me, I... will let him go. If he asks me to stay, then, I will stay," Maglor said.

"Why did you wait as long as you did to send word? We would have come for him. Even if you feared my parents, why not send word to Elrond or myself? Had you not fallen for him, would you have let us continue believing him dead?" Celebrían asked.

"In truth? I do not know. It simply did not occur to me. I suppose I was being selfish again. Wanting to keep the treasure I had found. I was as one who walks in dreams, and thinks himself awake - I simply... did not think. I think I would have, eventually. But also... he did not wish it," Maglor replied. 

That one brought her up short. "...he did not want to be found?" she asked, astonishment in her grey eyes.

"He changed his name," Maglor pointed out. "He... when he returned from the Silvan after learning about Nimrodel... he was... not well. He runs, I think. He does not want to return to a past which dealt him such great hurts."

"No." Celebrían shook her head emphatically. "No. That is impossible. Amroth never runs away. Not from anything. My brother is _valiant._ He never turns his back. And he never runs. He finds a way. He _always_ finds a way. You must have seen that in him by now. The fact that he is _there,_ in your arms, should be proof enough. He knows your story, does he not? Anyone else would run. But not Amroth," she insisted. "There must be something else. What are you not telling me? And Valar so help me, if you try to leave anything out, I will pull him from your arms and push you out of this tree. Do I make myself clear?"

"I do not know." Maglor shrugged hopelessly back at her. "I swear, I have told you all I know. I only know that he does not want to go back. The only thing I can add is that I think part of him also fears to leave me behind, in one way or another. Learning of Nimrodel hurt him. A lot. But even before then, he asked to be called Esgaron when he realised he could not remember anything. I do not know, Celebrían."

"He does not have to go back to being king if he does not wish to... but why would he not want to come back to a family? I do not understand," she said, twisting a lock of her hair in frustration.

"I wish I had answers for you, Celebrían, I am sorry. Maybe there is something in the blankness that he no longer wishes to remember, but I am only speculating. I am sorry, Celebrían," Maglor said.

"It is so very strange. Amroth treated almost everyone like his family. His guests, his people, everyone. That he would turn away from that..." She shook her head. "Did he ever show interest in us? You must have known who he was from the beginning. Told him about us. Did you not?"

Maglor bit his lip, casting his mind back to the early days. "I guessed early. Yes. He looked like your grandfather, and he thought his name started with 'Am'. But showing interest... a little. He asked who he was. Asked if I knew his family. And then... nothing. I told him the tales of our people. Traced the history that I knew, but... he never asked for more. I did say that I knew little - I had never met you, after all. And your father I knew precious little of. "

"Yet well enough to guess my father's wrath." She sighed, watching her brother's sleeping face. "Do you even know what you do, Brother?" she murmured. And her attention snapped back to Maglor. "It is a cruel stroke, having your twin replaced by a stranger."

"Not hard. I do listen to the tales, you know. And very little is not none at all," Maglor said. He reached across to pat her hand consolingly. "I am sorry," he apologised again, "I know it means nothing, but I am sorry."

"Once, there was nothing hidden between us, our every thought as plain to the other as if spoken aloud. Now... I only catch glimpses, and only while he sleeps," Celebrían mused. "...does it hurt him too?"

"I am sorry. There is nothing I can say that will make it better," Maglor said, and then frowned. "Does what hurt him, Celebrían?"

"The... I am not certain what to call it. Separation? To have emptiness where once was the one who shared the same womb? Emptiness aches, Maglor. I do not doubt you understand that," she said.

"Ah." Maglor sighed and looks down again. "In truth, I do not know. He never speaks of it. But it would surprise me greatly if he did not. Having said that... I think... it hurts worse for him to actually see you. Before, you were a name that he had only limited context for. Now, you are the sister he does not remember. And... _that_ eats at him."

"You must know that I do not mean to hurt him in any way. I love my brother, and wish him every happiness." 

"I know, and I am sure he does as well."

She was quiet and thoughtful for a bit. "What does he talk about? I assume you two _do_ converse?"

Maglor shrugged a little. "In the beginning, he wanted stories to fill the gaps of his memory. Nowadays, we mostly talk of simple things. What we will do tomorrow or next week. What chores need doing. He does not much ask for things of the past any longer."

"I see. I just..." She hummed thoughtfully. "If I cannot have my brother back, I would at least like to know more of the man he has become."

"Ask. Anything that I can answer, I will," Maglor said. "But I think... it might be best if you ask him, hm? Get to know him again. Who knows? You might waken more of his memories from sleep."

Celebrían's gaze fell on her brother's sleeping face. "He sleeps so beautifully. I will not wake him now. As for what you can tell me..." She considered. "How does he like to spend his days? His nights? What makes him smile? What fears haunt him yet? What about him makes _you_ smile most? What about him drives you to madness?" She smirked a little. "No need for shyness. I have already caught a glimpse of things between you."

Maglor flushed and ducked his head a little at her tease. "He... he mostly spends his days carving. You probably saw his work all over our home. We go out hunting regularly, as well. He likes it when I sing, he says. I... like it when he joins in. He sleeps better, if I am there - I don't think he has had many nightmares lately. He does not remember them, so... I do not know what he still fears in them. But... he does not like deep water. Even the bath he built, he is shy of at times. I suspect he dreams of the storm." He glanced at her shyly. "Everything. He is... your brother is a bright light in my darkness. I love his smile, his laugh, his golden hair and gentle heart. I like how he teases and tempts, I like how he tells me that he will not leave me."

"Spoken like a man truly in love. I suppose you find him utterly perfect? No faults whatsoever?" she teased gently.

"Well. He does have an annoying habit of being thoroughly distracting when I am trying to write music, does that count?" Maglor asked.

"Distracting, you say. The sound of his tools rough upon your poor ears? Or is it more that he is both instrument and song that you would prefer to play?" Light danced in her eyes.

Maglor flushed bright red and stuttered and refused to meet her eyes. "Ah... um... er..."

"And so I have my answer," she laughed softly. "No one could blame you. Most would envy that you are the one with the privilege to do so." She cocked her head. "Anything else you are willing to share?"

He ducked and still refused to meet her eyes, the tell-tale flush (and oh, some days he hated that he had his mother's fair complexion) clearly visible as he fidgeted shyly. "Um. Nothing... comes to mind?"

"Hmmm. I am sure there are plenty of things in your mind, but you do not wish me to know of them," Celebrían said. "Then, tell me... What was she like? Or was it a he? The last one to wear your ring."

Shadow was in Maglor's eyes as he looked down at the twisted rose gold ring that sat next to his engagement one now. "She... Falmariel was... a Teleri fisherman's daughter. I met her in the music academy in Alqualondë and... she had the most beautiful voice. I... I loved her for her spirit, for the way she was so free, the way she never cared what anyone thought, but did as she pleased provided it harmed no one. She never cared that I was one of the Noldo nobility. She would... scold me for my absentmindedness and laugh at my limericks and when she sang for me, I swore even the simplest of tunes became wonderful symphonies. When... we went into exile in Formenos I took off my ring and told her I released her from all vows, that she would be free of what... might come. When we arrived at Formenos she was there waiting, and she threw my ring at my head and threatened to kill me if I thought to try that again. She... died at Alqualondë after I... I... killed her," he said

Celebrían was quiet, listening. "Do you think her and her fate very different from my brother and what may await him?" she asked.

Maglor shuddered visibly at the thought. "I pray to any who would heed a kinslayer that it is not the same."

"But it... may happen. Is that true?" There was no escaping that gaze of hers.

"I... I do not know. Lord Namo's words were clear - 'to evil ends will all things turn that began well'. He... Esgaron says this hardly began well, and, with the Silmarils sleeping, there should be no reason for it to turn to evil ends." Maglor looked down at the golden hair in his arms and admitted, "But I... I fear it, all the same."

"And, if it does... What will you do?" she asked. 

Maglor's arms tightened briefly around Esgaron before he forced himself to relax before he could wake him. "I... I suspect it will kill me to lose him that way."

 _But not 'til we have exacted revenge,_ said Curufin cheerfully in his ear.

"If... I can see it coming at all, I will try and spare him, if I can," Maglor promised.

"Do you love him enough you could let him go?"

"Yes." Maglor nodded. "If that is what it took." His lips twisted wryly. "But, like Falmariel, I think if I did it now he would be very angry."

"Wasn't he already angry with you before? Though it does seem as though you two have made up," Celebrían mused.

"Well... more disappointed, I think. But we have, yes." Maglor sighed a little. "Whatever I do, I hurt him. To turn away from him will break his heart, and might kill him anyway. To stay might risk his death by other means. I do not know. All roads are dark to me. I only know that I... I do not want to have to let him go."

"Then protect him so that you won't have to. Bring him to Imladris if you feel he cannot stay with you," Celebrían said. "...did you ask him about continuing on?"

"I will do my best," Maglor said. At the question, he blinked and then flushed again. "Ah... I forgot... my apologies, Celebrían. I will ask him when he wakes."

"You should get some rest, Maglor. Do you feel safe enough up here to do so?" she asked.

"He is here. So... yes, I will be well. Although I am not tired yet?" Maglor shrugged as best he could without waking his beloved.

"Do you wish company other than his?"

"I do not mind, Celebrían. You can stay - it will probably be safer if we are all in the trees anyway," Maglor said.

"As you say." She smiled a little, watching them. "You make a lovely pair, golden and dark as you are."

Maglor ducked his head shyly. "I am glad the sister of my beloved thinks so."

"He and I were always contrasted in our youth. Silver and gold twins. It is refreshing to have something different," Celebrían said.

"You must have made a very striking pair." Maglor nodded, as shyly as before. "Galadriel must have been delighted when she saw the two of you. One for each of the Trees."

"You say it as if we do not anymore. I am quite sure your own eyes tell you differently," she said with a toss of her silver head. "Our parents always took great pride in us. Both of them. But I am not sure we can compare to our mother. At least, not in beauty."

"You do," Maglor agreed, nodding, "Like Laurelin and Telperion. The artist in me grieves that you are not eternally beside each other. And I do not know about that? But I suppose I am biased - Galadriel is fair indeed, 'tis true, but to me, I will always see her as little Nerwen with mud on her face and twigs in her hair."

"I fear we followed in her footsteps quite well at that age, both he and I," Celebrían said, her smile sheepish, "We were almost inseparable as children, but we were never really apart for long until Amroth went to war in the Second Age. When it was over, I saw very little of my brother from that point forward. None of us did. Lives in different places. Our mother took me to Imladris after the war to find my father, and from there to Belfalas until I married. But Amroth... He loved Lothlórien. He visited us in Belfalas several times, but he always went back to the woods. Until his ill-fated journey toward the West, of course."

"It seems no matter how far any of us run, the curse follows our line," Maglor sighed softly, "But it seems the worst of it has spared your family. I am glad, even if your mother might perhaps disagree." He smiled down at Esgaron. "If I had not known whose son he was, I might have thought him one of the Laiquendi for his love of tree and bough. He has been so happy, now that he is back where he belongs in the woods."

"Amroth was the first to experience real trouble in many years. And he yet survived," she reminded him. Her smile softened. "It makes me glad to know he is happy. He deserves it."

Maglor gave her a shy smile in return. "If it makes him happy, then I am happy as well," he said. "But what of you, Celebrían? I... had no stories of his family for him, because I did not know you. Will you tell me of yourself?"

"Me?" She dipped her head demurely. "I fear there is not that much to tell. My life is not nearly so exciting as others. What would you wish to know?" she asked.

"You have a whole life I do not know," Maglor pointed out in quiet amusement, "I would think that plenty."

She took a deep breath. "Amroth and I were born near the shores of Lake Nenuial where our parents had a regency. It was quiet and pleasant there. I used to try and follow him up into the trees. He liked to jump from the overhanging branches into the water." The look in her eyes was distant, but fond. "Then, a few centuries later, my parents and those with them moved south and east into Eregion, where we built Ost-in-Edhil. Once it was established, it was so _lively_ with the traders from the Dwarven lands. I only had a vague understanding of why my father disliked them so. After Annatar came and my mother wished us to leave, she took both Amroth and me through Khazad-dûm and into the Lórinand valley. It looked very different, then. I remember my brother and I helping our mother plant her precious _mellyrn_ seeds." The fondness faded, replaced by a frown. "Then the war broke out... Amroth, our father and my father's kinsman Amdír all rode into battle. _Naneth_ and I went back to Ost-in-Edhil to evacuate as many civilians as we could through the Dwarven tunnels into the forest valley. Amdír and Amroth came home to shore up the defenses and protect the woods, but... my father did not." She sighed. "After a few years, my mother and I went looking for him. Amroth was not yet ready to assume the responsibilities and powers of kingship, so the regency was given over to Amdír until my brother would be able to assume that mantle. We found my father in the then-newly-established Imladris. That is where Elrond and I met. We stayed there for some centuries until my mother's sea-longing grew so unbearable, she begged to go to the shore. So, my father and mother and I moved to Belfalas by the sea. There was almost no one there when we arrived. Amroth, when he came to visit, was simply _appalled_ by that, and insisted on building a city there. It now bears his name: Dol Amroth." She hesitated for a few heartbeats. "When the Last Alliance was called, almost everyone went. Except for Amroth. My mother and I waited so anxiously, waiting for word, good and bad... When Amdír fell, we feared the worst. But, my father came back to us, and soon Elrond on his heels. Two thousand years after our first meeting, and _finally_ Elrond asked permission to court me. I made him spend the first century or so just making up for lost time. We married in 109, and our love was so fierce, so very strong, it is no wonder I bore him twins to begin with. Arwen followed as her brothers reached adulthood. Since then, things have been well and peaceful, our griefs few, until Amroth announced his departure and... here we are now."

Maglor listened quietly and with that particular intensity, memorizing her story, but also the emotions behind it. One day, after all, he it was possible he might find a song in her story, and he did like to make sure he was always accurate. "I did not know her Sea-Longing had become so bad. Ah, Galadriel. I hope she is able to Sail, one day. Her hands are cleaner than most, surely the Valar will not bar her forever," he sighed. "I am glad that Elrond has you. It sounds as if you love each other very much, although I am not surprised it took him so long to ask permission."

"Hmm, it did indeed. They only left the shore because Amroth had no heir and someone needed to lead the Galadhrim. I do not know if they will sail one day or not." That shrewd gaze fell on Maglor. "And why does Elrond's reticence not surprise you? I say he is lucky no one else caught my attentions in that time."

"For Galadriel's sake, I hope they do. She has family on the other side as well, I am sure." Maglor shrugged a little, trying not to wake Esgaron. "Of the two of them growing up, Elrond was always the quieter. He would think and weigh all his decisions before committing, where Elros preferred to simply throw himself in. So... I am not entirely surprised that he took his time, not really."

She raised an eyebrow. "You do not consider two thousand years a bit excessive?"

"Well, I will grant he normally takes a little _less_ time to make up his mind," Maglor allowed dryly, "But he was also the shyer of the two and I suspect he wanted to be absolutely sure."

She was able to match Maglor for dryness. "My thanks for the vote of confidence," she said. "Amroth was always certain of his choices. Always. He never looked back. I do not know if he ever regretted them or not. He never seemed to."

Maglor gave her a shy, sheepish smile back. "If it is any comfort, he would have asked you swifter if Elros had been there to chide him on his waffling. Understand, it is not _you_ he would have doubted, but _himself._ He was always so." He looked down at Esgaron's golden hair and nodded slowly. "In that he remains unchanged."

"I do love my husband, though he can be maddening at times," Celebrían mused. She watched Esgaron stir slightly, and then settle back to sleep, nestled snugly in Maglor's arms. "Does he ever open his thoughts to you?" she asked.

"Not in that sense." Maglor carded a hand through Esgaron's hair until he settled again. "We talk, of course, but..." Maglor hesitated. "I am... not terribly good with _sanwe-latya_ so... I have never tried myself, and if he remembers how he has yet to tell me so."

"Our mother has a particular gift for it, not entirely lost through us. His waking self may or may not recall, but his dreaming self certainly does," she remarked.

Maglor was quiet while the implications sank in. "Oh." He blinked thoughtfully. "Is he bothering you?"

"Bothering me?" she repeated. "No, not in the least. He does love the trees in moonlight. He walks among them." She smiled. "I think you would have much to gain opening your mind to him, as well as your heart."

Maglor blinked and dropped his eyes a little shyly. "I would not know how," he admitted, "I can... respond, when someone calls me, and... I can reach out a little, when I sing but... I was not lying when I said I was poor with it."

Celebrían tapped a lip thoughtfully. "Are you wanting to speak? Or to listen?" she asked. "The technique is different for each."

Maglor considered and shrugs a little, carefully so as not to wake his sleeping lover. "I suppose, in this case, it would be better to listen, rather than speak."

She nodded. "You seem as if you would be a good listener. And it is easier with those you know well. Amroth opens himself more in his sleep. Listen to how he breathes. The rhythm of his heartbeat. Attune yourself to him. Quiet your own mind--it is much easier to listen when your head is free of noise." 

"It is the 'free of noise' part that I struggle with," Maglor said wryly, "It has never been quiet up here for as long as I can remember." But, obediently, he tried to quiet himself and listen. It was a little easier with Esgaron, whom he was so used to, but it was easier to hear his Song than it was to hear _him._

She waited. "Can you hear him?" she asked. "You can do it. Acknowledge your thoughts, and then let each one be sent on its way, until things are silent. Touch his mind, his _fëa._ It can be quite intimate, yes, to be allowed into such a space. Let him welcome you."

"Easier said than done," Maglor huffed at her fondly. Slowly, he worked to filter out extra sounds, trying not to get distracted by either twin's Song, trying to listen for Esgaron himself.

"What do you hear?" Celebrían watched him curiously with those eyes, those eyes so much like her mother's and brother's. Eyes that missed nothing. As if she herself were listening.

Maglor was quiet, listening, but all he heard was the Song that he had learnt to recognise as Esgaron's own, and the new one, that was Celebrían's, and he shook his head at her slowly. "His Song."

"I see. And what does it sound like to you?" she asked.

Maglor tipped his head sideways and his eyes unfocused as he tried to explain something that was as instinctive as breathing for him. "Like.... sunshine. Warm and bright. A military march, but also a joyful dance. Comfort and strength and courage and life."

"Hmmm. All that, but you cannot touch his thoughts?" she said, half teasing, half genuinely curious. "Amroth has always been better at speaking than hearing. He may surprise you one day. And you may find it easier once you are wed. The bond of being one heart, one flesh... It changes things, as I am sure you know well."

Maglor gave her a wry shrug. "I did not lie when I told you I struggled - I was never able to learn. Folk did try. I just... hear too much else, I think." He nodded, flushing slightly. "Mm. I remember."

"I think he would be proud of you at least making the effort," Celebrían assured him. "Still. You should rest, Maglor. Assuming he is still willing to go, tomorrow will be a long day. And if rest eludes you... perhaps work on your listening skills."

He smiled shyly at her and shrugged again the subtle half-shrug, so as not to jostle the sleeping Elf in his arms. "You would know better than I." Nodding, Maglor settled a little more securely and tried to relax and just listen to Esgaron's breathing. "I will try and rest, yes. You should as well."

"I am not so sure that is true any longer," she said. "Still. Rest well." She settled quietly into reverie, her body stilling, even though her eyes remained open, if distant in their gaze.

"Maybe." Maglor smiled shyly at her, and this night, at least, he did not dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 0\. And now we are starting to get caught up with the RP unfolding, so updates are likely to get slower. But stay with us! More fun is coming!


	11. Not Yet Out Of The Woods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maglor and Esgaron are introduced to Celebrían's twins, and all the mischief they are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 0\. LOOK, IT'S A WILD UPDATE! Oh gosh, everyone, sorry this took forever. It kind of turned into Chapterzilla, with conversations now including up to five people. Formatting it into something reasonably cohesive was harder than it looked. Pro-tip: 5-way conversations are the worst at staying on topic.  
> 1\. Warning wise, well, there are some arguments, a little angsting, and our lovebirds do take advantage of a brief window of "alone time," but nothing more than what you've seen so far.  
> 2\. The El twins do have some unique speech patterns. Hopefully they aren't too confusing!

Come the dawn, Celebrían roused much earlier than her brother, gathering things up as they prepared to move on, whereas Esgaron was still sleeping soundly in Maglor's arms. When she stirred, Maglor lifted his head and tipped her a quiet greeting, but he did not wake Esgaron yet, content to let him sleep until they were ready to move, or he woke himself, simply listening to him breathe. As he did not rouse before Celebrían was done, Maglor shook Esgaron's shoulder carefully. 

Esgaron eventually woke and gave Maglor a tired smile. "Mmm, good morning, Cano. Did you rest well?"

"Good morning, love." Maglor smiled back fondly. "Well enough, I think. Did you? Celebrían says it is not too late to turn back - but, if we are to continue, the journey today will be a long one."

"Better with you," Esgaron said, but his smile faded. "We had best not keep her waiting, then." He was still not happy about the trip, no, but his mind was clearly made up.

"I am glad." Shyly, Maglor pressed a hesitant kiss to Esgaron's cheek. "You are sure, then?" He untangled himself carefully - heights made him uneasy, still, but it was always easier with Esgaron there.

There was a long pause and a soft sigh, but... "Do you need help getting down, Cano?" The avoidance of the question was probably a big, ringing "no," there, as far as response to Maglor's question.

Maglor stopped in return, searching Esgaron's face. "I do not mind if we turn back," he said softly but shook his head. "I think I will be all right. You probably don't want to stand underneath in case I slip."

"I would rather have you not slipping at all," Esgaron countered, "Follow me down, if you like." And he descended from the tree, as easily as if it were nothing at all. And, yes, he was still avoiding the topic at hand. One would never know he had inherited the stubbornness of his parents.

A soft huffed sigh escaped Maglor's lips, but if Esgaron was anything like his mother, to push him then would only make him more stubborn, so Maglor dropped it and obediently followed him down.

"Believe me, the feeling is mutual," Maglor said as he made his way to he ground. Esgaron led him true and he neither slipped nor fell, although he was slower than brother or sister were earlier, more hesitant. Esgaron stood nearby, ready to catch Maglor, just in case. Once he was safely on the ground, Esgaron did take Maglor's hand, if he would let him.

"I suppose I will need to rest on the ground after this, hmm?" Esgaron said.

"The trees are safer," Maglor pointed out, accepting the hand gratefully. "I don't mind, if you are there."

"Only if you feel safe in them. You have only gotten used to being in them because our home is built in one. Nothing was left up there, was it?" Esgaron asked, peering at the branches overhead.

"I have," Maglor agreed, "So long as you are there I can feel safe - at home or anywhere. And realistically, there is always more danger on the ground." Maglor lifted his head to eye the branches. "I think we have everything."

"As long as you are happy. Glad to hear nothing was forgotten. The village is not far from here. They know me there. Do you intend to stay in the woods?" Esgaron asked.

"I might, I think, or at least, I might remove the pin for a change. Imladris we cannot help, but let us not give our closest neighbours reasons to upset," Maglor said.

"You are more likely to draw attention being at my side, Cano. I fear I have spoken of you to some of them. But if you are more comfortable without your Star, it is your choice to hide it," Esgaron told him.

"Good morning," came a lilting voice. Celebrían was just finishing packing. "Everything well?" she asked. She gave Maglor a questioning look, wanting to know if they were still coming.

Maglor tipped a bow at Celebrían. "Good morning. Well enough." He shot a questioning glance at Esgaron. Esgaron just gave him a blank look in response to Maglor's unspoken question.

"My sons will be meeting us in the village. I should probably go ahead so I can make them aware of... the circumstances. Especially since you have requested discretion. We do have three horses waiting there. I expect you two will wish to ride together?" she asked.

 _Ai, but he is as stubborn as his mother._ Maglor stifled the sigh and accepted that Esgaron had made up his mind, despite his obvious dislike of the circumstances.

"If we are to make an appearance I suppose discretion is the better part of valor - I will take it off, for now," Maglor said, removing his Star. He looked to Celebrían. "Mm, we can, I suppose - Esgaron?"

"Yes, we can ride together. Though I do not know how good my riding skills are by this point..." Esgaron mused.

"All right. Follow me when you are ready, but let me talk to my sons first. They... are not entirely prepared for this, I do not think," Celebrían said.

"I rather think I am a nasty surprise to spring on anyone," Maglor observed dryly. "I think I remember how to ride well enough." He reached across to brush the back of Esgaron's hand. "You taught me to climb. If you cannot remember, I will teach you to ride."

"You are _not,_ Cano," Esgaron chided gently. "And... thank you." He lovingly squeezed Maglor's hand. 

"You are one of the few who would think that, love." Maglor squeezed back fondly. "But thank _you._ "

"Good, then that much is settled," Celebrían said, watching their exchange, "Wait here long enough to give me some time." With that, she headed into the Silvan village, seeking out her twin sons.

"You were able to get me to fall in love with you without even trying. Surely that much speaks well of you," Esgaron said once she was gone. "I do not know if we will go unnoticed. Alas, I tend to draw attention among the Silvan." 

Maglor ducked in shy pleasure to be told that and did not answer. "You would draw attention anywhere, my golden one," he murmured.

Esgaron redid his braids, partly to buy Celebrían time to explain and also so that the scar on his head was visible. Normally, he kept it hidden under the rest of his hair, but this time he chose to display it. Maglor himself had seen little of the wound since it had healed over. It was long, stretching almost from temple to crown, thick and jagged, its dull silvery-pink shade a curious contrast with the golden locks.

"Do you think she is ready for us?" Esgaron asked as he secured the last braid.

"I am not sure - should we wait for them to come, or go to them do you think? I do not know how long is long enough," Maglor said.

"I think she expects us to join them, Cano. Here..." Esgaron checked that the star pin was tucked away, and pulled up Maglor's hood so his eyes were shaded. "Not a bad disguise. I.. would suggest not talking too much, or there might be questions raised about our rings," he said. "Are you ready?"

Maglor let Esgaron tidy him up and he eyed the direction Celebrían went in trepidation before drawing a breath in and nodding. "As ready as I ever will be. And the rings are easily solved..." He pulled a set of gloves from his pockets and pulled them on. "I used to wear them to hide the scars," he explained.

"I meant... Cano, there is really no way to disguise that you were once wed, and, as I am not yet... There may be questions. Questions I do not want you to have to answer," Esgaron said, "I love you. I just want you to make this journey safely. It is far greater risk to you than to me."

"Ah. True, I had not thought of that." Maglor nodded and brushed a hand across Esgaron's cheek. "What would I do without you? But I will stay silent, and try to stay below notice. If they cannot see the rings, they will hopefully not think too hard on me either."

"Hopefully not." Esgaron leaned in and kissed Maglor. "I do not know when I will be able to do that next. But, they are waiting."

Maglor kissed back gently and nodded, following Esgaron into the village.

Upon arriving in the Silvan village, Celebrían called out to her children, "Elladan? Elrohir? Come here, I have things to discuss with you."

" _Nana?_ " Elladan lifted his head from where he had been fletching arrows and came over. "What is it?"

"Where is your brother?" she asked, "He will need to hear this as well."

"'Roh! _Nana_ wants you!" Elladan obediently hollered for his brother.

"Coming!" Elrohir reappeared from where he was currying the horses. "What is it?"

"Ah, there you are. Listen carefully. And it is _very_ important that you both maintain discretion in this matter and behave as proper young lords would," their mother said.

She dropped her voice. "I have found your uncle. He is alive. But... I do not know if I would say he is well. He appears healthy, but he has suffered terrible injuries, and his memory has been badly damaged. He was unable to recognize me for more than a day. I do not know if he will recognize you or not. If he does not, you must not try to force him. Also... he does not call himself by the same name any longer. He has a new _kilmessë_ now. He goes by Esgaron," she explained. "He is coming with us back to Imladris in hopes that your father can heal him. He... insisted on bringing his..." She paused, trying to decide the best word. "...betrothed, Maglor, with him. _Please_ be on your best behavior. Treat him politely and with kindness. You are _not_ to call attention to him or pester him with questions. He is our guest, and must be treated as one, Fëanorion or not." She turned her stern gaze on both twins. "Do you understand?"

They listened with pleased surprised to hear their lost uncle has been found, and shock at the news of the injury and who else was coming, words tumbling over each other as they spoke as one, interrupting and completing each other's sentences in a dismayed rushed jumble.

"Maglor! The lost Fëanorion?"  
"Who else would use that name, you idiot?"  
"Father will be..."  
"Happy?"  
"I was going to say angry."  
"Both, probably."  
"Uncle doesn't remember anything?"  
"He doesn't remember--"  
" _\--You?_ "  
"But that's--"  
"He's your--"  
" _Twin!_ "

"Calm down, boys. We do not want there to be any scenes. Your uncle and his companion will be joining us shortly," she said. Her gaze dropped a little. "But... yes. Even as his twin, it took him some time before he recognized me at all, and there is still a great deal missing from his memory. What he will or will not remember, I cannot say. Just... please do not act upset if he does not seem to know you. It is no fault of his, and that is why he is coming home with us for a while, with the hope that your father can do something about it." She paused thoughtfully. "As for your father's reaction to our other guest... I cannot say for certain. The two of them were quite close at one time," she mused. "But can you promise me to be well-behaved for them?"

"Yes, _Nana,_ " they chorused dutifully, both still visibly upset at the thought of one twin forgetting the other.

"We won't let you down," Elrohir promised.

"Do you think... he will sing?" Elladan wondered, " _Ada_ has his harp, right?"

"He might, if you ask him nicely. But I would not do so here. Also, the two of them will be taking one of the horses. Will you two ride together?" Celebrían asked.

"Sure." The twins nodded. "We have done it before."

"Thank you, my dears." She fondly ruffled their hair. "They should be arriving any moment. Please, try and act as if this normal."

"Yes, _Nana,_ " they chorused obediently and Elladan reached across for a hug while Elrohir tipped his head happily into the ruffle. Celebrían hugged her son back, and kissed the other's head. 

Meanwhile, Esgaron was leading Maglor into the village, and it was not long before there were lots of bright cries to greet him. Esgaron just smiled politely. A few noticed his ring and congratulated him, though it seemed that particular development disappointed a few of the Silvan locals. But Esgaron just moved to find his family in the crowd. Maglor, meanwhile, stayed quiet and seemed to pull in, hidden within the folds of his cloak a silent, drifting shadow.

"Is that them?" Elladan asked and pointed.

At his question, Celebrían glanced over. "Yes, that would be them. Your uncle finds it impossible to not draw attention, it seems."

"You're still prettier, _Nana,_ " Elrohir said cheekily.

As the Silvan filed past, Esgaron did his best to smile and be polite, ignoring the mooning sighs of his disappointed admirers. Finally, he reached Celebrían and her twins.

"Thank you for waiting," he said. He looked at her sons hopefully--hope which quickly faded. _He did not know them._ " You must be her sons," he said very softly.

Maglor, for his part, focused on seeming insignificant and passing unmarked, keeping his eyes down. He could not help the small, smug flash of pride that Esgaron chose him and not the others, but actor that he was, he never let any of that out. When they reached Celebrían and the twins he breathed a sigh of relief, risking stepping close enough to squeeze Esgaron's hand in support briefly.

Elladan grinned at his uncle when he came over and bowed properly. "Hello Uncle! Yes, I'm Elladan, and the mirror there is Elrohir." Both of them hid any discomfort with the practiced ease of long-time pranksters.

"We both respond to 'El', if you find it hard to tell us apart at first, "Elrohir offered, "But I'm the good looking one."

"Boys, behave yourselves," Celebrían reminded them. She shrugged with an apologetic smile. "My twins. It seemed inevitable that it would be like this," she said. 

"It is good to know you. I think perhaps I will learn to tell you apart before you know it," Esgaron said with a kind smile. He squeezed Maglor's hand back. "And this is Cano, my betrothed. I have asked him to remain quiet here, all things considered."

"We're sure--"  
"You will."  
"You did--"  
"The last time!" The twins assured him with double grins.

A few of the Silvan continued to approach, asking questions:  
"How long will you be staying this time?" 

"Will you not sing for us, Esgaron?" 

"Is there anything you need?" 

"We have food!"

Esgaron waved them off politely.

" _Is_ there anything you need while you are here?" Celebrían asked, trying to help divert the attention.

"I do not think there is much else we need at present. Perhaps a few extra provisions. What do you think, Cano?" Esgaron asked.

The younger twins exchanged another grin before getting down to business.

"You can have my horse," Elladan offered, "'Roh and I can use his."

"We can hunt along the way, so you should not need more than bare essentials," Elrohir added.

Maglor chanced a shy look up from beneath the cloak, looking at the faces that reminded him so much of other twins, long ago and he shook his head, keeping his voice low. "Nothing that comes immediately to mind, Esgaron. Unless you can think of anything?"

Esgaron shook his head. "No, and we can hunt as well along the way."

"All right, then. Elrohir? Are the horses saddled and ready?" Celebrían asked.

"Yes, this way, uncles." Elrohir grinned and beckoned them to follow him. "Well, not quite, but it shouldn't take long. Uncle M., you remember how right?"

"I'll pack up our gear, you want to leave right now, _Nana?_ " Elladan offered.

"I remember." Maglor accepted the pseudonym with a wry tip of his head. "Did you want to help, love?"

"The fewer people near us, the less attention they can attract. So, yes, the sooner we make for Imladris, the better, I think. Discretion is the better part of our valour here," she said, nodding to her twins. "You lads make sure all is ready. I will thank our kind hosts for their hospitality." With that, she moved back into the heart of the village.

"I suppose I should. At least introduce myself to the horses. I would not have them reject us just because we are strangers," Esgaron mused. He followed the twins toward the horses. "...I do not remember how long it has been since I have last ridden. By the grace of the Valar, I hope my body remembers better than my mind."

"Oh! They would never be so rude, Uncle E.," Elrohir assured him, "We trained them well. The bay is my pretty lady, and the dun is Elladan's slow poke."

"She is not!" came the indignant holler as both horses lifted their heads and the grey mare that must have been Celebrían's calmly ignored them all.

"And what are their names, nephews, as I assume you do not merely call them that?" Maglor smiled, acknowledging that they were trying their hardest to make them feel at ease, hand reaching across to hold Esgaron's. He quietly accepted Maglor's hand.

"Good to know, thank you. Though I am sure they are all fine creatures," Esgaron said, nodding.

Meanwhile, Celebrían thanked the Silvan for hosting her sons and caring for their horses, and their evident kindness toward Esgaron, but she was careful not to imply that Esgaron was her brother. Upon returning, she checked her items, making sure all was in order, and then mounted her mare.

"It is high time we headed off. The horses are trained and know where they are going, fear not. And even if it has been some time, I am sure you have not forgotten," she said, a smirk spreading over her lips, "But I have _always_ been the better rider." With that, she set her mare to a lively trot as she headed out of the woods, expecting the others to follow.

"My pretty lady is _Rien_ ," Elrohir said cheerfully, while his twin came over. 

"Has the temper of a proper one, whoa!" Elladan added. He dodged his brother's swat with a grin and brushing his hand over the dun's nose led her over to meet Esgaron. "This fine one is _Gwaew,_ and she is certainly _not_ slow. She will look after you, Uncle E., never fear!"

Maglor greeted both horses with a shy smile and waited to see how much help Esgaron needed, watching as the twins bickered laughingly about who got to ride in front before Elladan declared he would go on foot for a while.

"All right, love?" Maglor asked gently.

Esgaron moved carefully, not wanting to startle the mare. Deep breath, eyes closed, and he mounted with surprising ease. His expression was clearly relieved that he didn't somehow fail.

"I seem to be. Would you prefer me at your front or your back, Cano?" he said.

Celebrían, meanwhile, cantered back around upon realizing no one had yet begun to follow her. "You are all moving like turtles. If you do not wish to spend another night here, we should be riding," she said.

"Yes, _Nana._ " Reprimanded, the twins stopped playing around and Elladan swung up behind Elrohir. "There we go, Uncle E! Knew you could do it!" they chorused, upon seeing Esgaron on the mare's back.

Maglor smiled to see that Esgaron seemed to be all right. "Behind is fine, I think - let us see how much you remember, love, and go from there," he said. "Coming, Celebrían!" he called back to her.

Esgaron slid back to give Maglor room to climb in in front of him, wrapping his arms around his waist. Maybe he was pressed a little more tightly than he needed to be.

"We had best catch up. I do not think I want to test my sister's patience," he said.

"Mm, yes, we had better!" Maglor agreed. He leaned back a little into Esgaron's warmth and urged the dun after the others. Once they swapped, he decided, he would let Esgaron ride in front, and see how he went.

Celebrían led them on for quite a ways before she stopped in a clearing for them to rest and eat. "...All right, boys. I know you have been bursting with questions. Now that we're out of idle earshot, go on, then. Get them out of your systems. Better now than when we get home," she said.

The twins were mostly quiet for the ride, exchanging soft words between themselves, but with permission granted the floodgates were open, and they all but tumbled over themselves with speech. Mindful of how Celebrían warned them to be gentle with Esgaron, they directed most of their curiosity at Maglor instead, although they could not help but be curious about Esgaron as well.

"Where have you--"  
"Been? _Ada_ \--"  
"--Looked for you, he said."  
"But he never found you."  
"Just rumors."  
"When did you find Uncle E.?"  
"Are you all right, does your head hurt?"  
"It's hard, riding, if you haven't had practice."  
"If you need a break--"  
"--Just say!"

Their mother watched with a keen eye. "Perhaps one question at a time, please, boys. Let us not overwhelm your uncles completely," she suggested gently.

"Yes, _Nana,_ sorry, uncles," they chorused. Contrite, but they were still eager to know (at least they had the sense not to crowd).

Esgaron himself tensed a little at the sudden barrage of questions, but he did his best to smile and be patient. "Well, he found me last autumn. I fear I was very badly wounded. But, no, my head does not hurt so much. Not anymore," he explained.

"Good!"  
" _Ada_ did try to teach us healing."  
"It didn't really stick."  
"But _Nana_ is very good."  
"Yes - so if you hurt, you should say something."

Celebrían just chuckled. "Your father did try. And while you might favor his look, you both favor me otherwise."

"We do!" Twin smiles beamed back at her. They then turned Maglor. " _Will you sing?_ " they asked.

Far from the crowds, Maglor had pulled down his hood and left the Star out in the open again, wrapping his arms around Esgaron in comfort. "So eager." He shook his head in amusement. "Yes, I found your uncle last autumn, and he was very badly hurt, but as you can see, he does better. And I have been around, as they say. I am sorry I upset your _ada,_ but I was not... in any good state to be with people, at the time."

Esgaron was happy to cuddle up with Maglor while they rested, always such a pretty picture, the dark and the gold. "He is getting better, though. At least, he tolerates being around me well enough," Esgaron assured the twins, "And he has many lovely songs."

"Nah."  
"It's because you're Uncle E."  
"You've always been good--"  
"--At making people comfortable."  
"Uncle M.'d be weird--"  
"--If he wasn't comfortable with you."

"You can call me by name, you know," Maglor observed wryly, happy to curl with Esgaron. "And if you think to confuse me speaking like that, remember that I fostered your father and his twin, and had twin brothers of my own. It does not work." He pointed and named them both accurately to disappointed "awwws." "But yes, I will sing for you, if that is what you want."

"We are away from others, my sons. Here you may call them by their names," Celebrían agreed. "A song would be lovely, if you would?"

Esgaron laughed. "Ah, my Cano is far too smart to be fooled, I fear," he said, "If you played one of our songs, I do not think I would object."

"Yes Uncle... can we call you that? It's too complicated otherwise, Uncle Maglor." Elladan pulled a cheerful face.

"Esgaron... did you choose that yourself, Uncle?" Elrohir tested the name out properly. "It's a nice one, I like it."

" _Yes, please, will you sing?_ " they pleaded together.

"Ai! I am being ganged up on, I see." But Maglor laughed as he said it. "Uncle will do, Elladan, or you can drop the title and simply call me Maglor, if you prefer. I do not mind." He looked to Esgaron. "One of ours, love? Mmm, but which? We have so many, after all."

"Well, not _that_ one. That you are still working on. But perhaps one of your favorites. You seem to have a new song for me every day," Esgaron said. "As for your question... Yes. I chose it. Cano found me washed upon the shore, and so my name reflects that now."

"I think you should play the one that best tells your story of how you feel about him," Celebrían suggested.

"Maglor..." Elladan wrinkled his nose. "I dunno, it feels weird to just say it like that. What do you think, El?"

"Uncle is close enough. We are related, anyway," Elrohir agreed, and both twins turned eager eyes on Maglor when he tacitly agreed.

"Ah." Maglor shook his head fondly at all of them. "But they all tell that story, Celebrían," he teased and wrapped his arms more snugly around Esgaron before singing:

" _What is love, my dear_  
_I sometimes wonder_  
_Is it a bird, dear,_  
_With fragile wings?_  
_Is it flower, frail,_  
_Which needs the sun?_  
_Is it a diamond, strong,_  
_And gleaming bright?_  
_What is love, my dear?_  
_I thought I knew_  
_What is love, my dear,_  
_But then I met you._ "

"Ah, _mell nín..._ " Esgaron colored faintly and lovingly kissed him in appreciation of the song. "I love you, too," he said. 

Maglor kissed Esgaron back fondly, although he kept it light. "I, too, beloved."

"But now, dear nephews, I think it is your turn to tell stories of fond memories we shared. Perhaps they will come back to me," Esgaron suggested.

"That was lovely, Maglor, thank you," Celebrían said, "And yes, sons, why don't you regale your uncles? Just... Do not embroider the exploits? Your uncle deserves better than that."

 _We would never!_ " they protested as one. "But stories... well, we could tell you about the time when we were little, Uncle, and your hair was _the most fascinating thing ever!_ "

"Yes - the only other person with hair like that was the Captain!"  
"We kept asking you if you painted it."  
"Or dipped it in gold."  
"Or we could tell you about the time we came to visit in Lothlórien."  
"And El got stuck in one of the trees--"  
"NOT THAT ONE! Although if you want to talk about trees..."  
"No! I meant, um, the time we went fishing... yes..."

"Thank you, Celebrían," Maglor said. An amused eyebrow went up at the twins. "Listening to you two, I wonder that Elrond must have thought you some form of punishment for his actions as a child! Although I will grant he and his brother were much more subdued than it sounds as if you might have been."

"Is _everyone_ so fascinated by my hair? Cano here considers it a day wasted if he doesn't get to touch it, and you two as well?" Esgaron laughed. "The tree climbing you may have learned from me. My feet rarely touch the ground anymore, it seems."

"Oh, indeed. Why do you think he was called Amroth? "Up-Climber?" Your grandfather was forever rescuing him from treetops when he was little. I used to be the one to go crying that he had gotten stuck again," Celebrían teased.

"Well, you _do_ have very pretty hair, Uncle Esgaron," Elrohir pointed out cheerfully.

"If it's any consolation, it wasn't just you. We once tried to cut grandma's hair to see if it still glowed when it wasn't attached to her," Elladan said with a nod.

"Oooh, that was a bad memory." Elrohir shivered. "We got into _such_ trouble for that."

Maglor chuckled lowly. "Well, I rather think it is the other way around now - I have never been much for trees 'til he came into my life," he said.

There was an uncertainty in Esgaron's smile at the mention of his mother. He seemed to trust his sister and nephews all right, but was less sure about his parents. "I cannot imagine that going over well, no," he agreed. "And what is not to love about the trees? They give us so much. Shelter, fuel, fruits and nuts..."

"For the record, yes, _Naneth's_ hair still retains a glow. Just like ours does," Celebrían said, ""Oh, sweet brother. Going to wax poetic about trees again?"

"Well, at least Grandma was kinder than Erestor." Both twins shuddered at the memory, voices dropping to hushed conspiratorial tones.

"Yes."  
"You never--"  
"--never ever--"  
"--want to upset Erestor."  
"Erestor doesn't get mad."  
"He gets _even._ "

"He was so angry that his little lords would disgrace themselves and hence the valley so," Elladan said, nodding.

"Mucking out the stables by ourselves for a _week._ " Elrohir shuddered.

"And cleaning all the windows - although we had help with those."

"And doing the dishes."

" _Don't make Erestor angry!_ " they said together.

"Ah." Maglor chuckled a little and shook his head. "I see he has only become more formidable with age, has Erestor." He pressed a kiss to Esgaron's hair. "You may be a wood-elf, my love, but us Noldor prefer our feet on the ground. One day, perhaps, I will be as comfortable as you, but for now I am content to watch you in the trees."

"And I am to suppose you two have never done anything to make you fear my wrath?" Esgaron asked the twins. "I will avoid waxing poetic about the trees, but you will grow accustomed to them, I think, Cano!"

"Well, you do so rarely rise to anger, brother," Celebrían pointed out. "But he does have a point, Maglor. Neither of us carry any Silvan blood ourselves. Vanyarin, Telerin, Sindarin and, yes, Noldorin, but no Silvan. He just found himself enamoured with their lifestyles."

Twin grins of such utter innocence that they must be a lie flashed at Esgaron as they chorused, " _We would never!_ " Of course, they totally did.

"Well, but what if I like it when you wax poetic about the trees, love?" Maglor smiles wryly. "While that may be true by blood, your brother climbs like the Silvan, Lady Celebrían! Even if I had been one for trees I think he would leave me in the dust."

"You just like hearing me talk about things," Esgaron scoffed.

"I do," Maglor agreed readily, "You have a lovely turn of phrase, beloved."

"But, 'tis true. My sister claims to be the better rider, but I am the better climber," Esgaron said. "But, you boys are hiding a story, I can tell."

"You may as well tell, my sons," Celebrían prompted gently.

"It isn't much of a story," Elladan coughed.

"You never really got mad about pranks," Elrohir agreed.

"You only got really angry once when we were careless."

"We went to the stream to hunt for fish."

"We weren't paying attention to the time."

"Before we knew it, it was getting dark."

"We got lost, coming home."

"You were very angry, when you found us."

"We broke the rule, you see."

"'When you get lost, stay still'."

"We were afraid, so we kept walking."

"We ended up somewhere very deep in the woods."

"No wonder," Maglor murmured softly, "I think your uncle was not the only one angry that day."

"It seems you learned your lesson, then? But, ah. Not at all a fearsome king was I, sounds like," Esgaron sighed.

"You are both correct. We were all worried and angry when the twins got lost. And always rather mild in your manner, brother, except on the battlefield. Then you were fearsome, indeed," Celebrían said.

"Well, there was also the time with the wood shavings and the glue..." Elladan continued.

"Oh, I remember that one," his brother said.

"We were aiming for Erestor."

"Unfortunately... we didn't check before tipping the bucket over."

"You did laugh!"

"But we got scolded pretty badly too."

"Took a while to get the shavings out of your hair."

"I imagine he must have been." Maglor shook his head at the twins in amusement. "With a family such as he had. I am glad, love, that I do not have to see you thusly at present, however."

"Tsk, spoiling my hair! No wonder you were scolded! Cano seems to believe my hair a precious treasure." Esgaron laughed anyway.

"I think you will be safe, Maglor. Amroth hasn't lifted a sword in centuries, and no reason for his temper to ignite here," Celebrían assured him.

"It was only glue!" was the immediate, sheepish protest from the twins.

"We even made sure to use one that washed out easily with water," Elladan pointed out.

"We didn't want to actually _hurt_ anyone!" Elrohir agreed.

"Well it _is_ , love." Maglor tugged fondly on a strand and dropped another kiss to golden strands. "I will point out I am not the first in my family to be enamoured of the hair in yours!" He nodded to Celebrían. "For that, Lady Celebrían, I think we can all be grateful."

"And what would you do if, say, these two had caused antics enough I would have had to cut it?" Esgaron asked, "Though that does sound like quite the story."

"You are... referring to your father and our mother, are you not?" Celebrían asked.

"We were very sorry," Elladan assured him.

"And we never did it again." Elrohir nodded.

"Not to say that we never got into trouble again, of course!"

"It would have grown again." Maglor shrugged, amused. "It was certainly long enough ago, by the sounds of things." He looked back at Celebrían. "And aye, Lady Celebrían, I was."

"Were I more spiteful, Cano, I should make you decide which feature you prefer in the absence of my hair," Esgaron scoffed. "But if you have another story to tell, I would hear it. Perhaps these rascals could do with hearing them."

"It is true our mother rarely speaks of these events. But it is sweet that you should inherit the same interest. And lucky for you that my dear brother has such lovely tresses," Celebrían said.

"Uncle's hair is pretty nice."

"But we like yours better, _Nana!_ " the twins added.

"Your bright soul." Maglor's answer was immediate. "Although, I rather think I like your Song better than your hair. If only by a smidgen," he teased softly. "And that story is not much of one, really. Only the beginnings of Father's obsessions..."

"I daresay you boys are biased. But, thank you," Celebrían said, "...Perhaps it is just my mother's telling of such things, but I do not believe any of your father's... infatuations ended particularly well."

"Of course you pick that which not visible to most eyes," Esgaron teased. With a playful half-growl, he pulled Maglor into a kiss. A light one, but a kiss nonetheless.

"If we are--"  
"--It's only because--"  
"--You're the best _nana_ \--"  
"Of all time," the twins said.

Maglor laughed into the kiss. "Not my fault if most people do not listen closely enough to be able to tell!" he said, "But no... few of father's obsessions ever did."

"Then, you must teach them, Cano." Esgaron gave him nuzzles, too, clearly caring nothing about being openly affectionate.

Celebrían, meanwhile, laughed and hugged her sons. "Do not let your grandmother hear you say that." She turned her attention back to Maglor. "So I have been told." Concern was in her gaze as her eyes flicked to her brother, the unspoken statement hanging in the air: _That is what I am afraid of, if you inherited that tendency..._

"Psh."  
"Grandma is Grandma."  
"She probably already knows!"

Still, the twins were happy to hug back.

"I still would not suggest it in her earshot," Celebrían said.

"Mm, but it is so obvious, love." Maglor was shyer, but he was happy to nuzzle back. "I am always surprised that others cannot hear it. But it has disadvantages too, you know." He brushed a kiss against golden hair, but his eyes met Celebrían's in understanding. He knew.

"What kind of disadvantages?" Esgaron asked.

"Can you hear the music Maglor speaks of, my sons?" Celebrían asked. She was met with blank looks.

"Noooo?"  
"You'll have to elaborate, Uncle Maglor."

"As everyone who has ever tried to teach me _sanwe-latya_ can attest, it is almost impossible to be quiet enough to hear anything _other_ than the Song," Maglor explained, "I speak of the Music, nephews - it has always rung loudly in my ears."

"And there is no way to quiet it, Cano? But at least, then, it explains why there is always song upon your lips. Songs or kisses," Esgaron mused.

"And for those of us who do not hear the Songs, can you sing them?" Celebrían asked.

"What, you mean like..."  
"--THE music?"  
"You can hear it, Uncle M.?" The twins were wide-eyed.

"Not that I have found. I can ignore it, for a while, but never truly silence it. And yes, nephews, I do, and I can. Sort. Of. It is not... truly hearing with the ears, I suppose? And I am sure what I hear is only snippets of glory." Maglor shrugged. "I can try?"

"If anyone could do it justice, Cano, you can." Esgaron gave him an encouraging kiss on the cheek.

"We would be delighted to hear it." Celebrían settled in between her sons, rapt with eagerness.

"Please, Uncle M.?" Both twins turned pleading eyes in his direction.

"The two of you are far too old to be using such pleading eyes on me," Maglor observed wryly and then nodded slowly, unslinging the silver harp and checking its tuning. "All right. I will try." He breathed deeply, looking at all of them, and then he opened himself to the Song. He sang without words, and he did not so much sing as let the Song sing through himself.

He sang the Ocean first, the song that pulled at him (Esgaron feared the Sea, but Maglor loved it, with a helpless, hopeless devotion), and then the glint of gold, the flicker that was Esgaron. He sang its strength, its change, its growth, he sang the green of the woods and tall trees, the gold of sunlight and golden hair. He sang silver, bright eyes and a kind smile, and twin stars that orbited their pole. He sang _them..._ but he never once sang himself (the one song he could not hear had always been his own).

At the Song of the Ocean, Esgaron visibly cringed and flinched, those notes inextricably bound with pain in his fractured memory. He glanced shyly at Celebrían when her notes were sung, noting the countermelody to his, and how it was again reflected with her twin sons. But hearing himself and the trees... He said nothing, but his eyes were pure, molten silver when he looked at Maglor, fingers brushing subtly against his beloved.

For her part, Celebrían listened with delight, seeming to share the same love for the shore as Maglor. She smiled at her brother at the songs that marked them twins, and glowed with pride over her children. But the look on Esgaron's face did not escape her.

"It is beautiful, thank you, Maglor," she said graciously. "...Boys, perhaps we could use an extra rabbit for dinner? I will bring back some more kindling." Yes, yes, she was attempting to subtly suggest leaving the lovebirds alone for at least a short while.

"Aw, _Nana!_ " was the protest, but the twins grinned and obediently got up and snagged their bows.

"That was--"  
"--Really amazing."  
"Thank you!"

It took effort for Maglor to drag himself back to there and then, to remember that he had flesh and was not just music. But it was easier than it had been sometimes in the past, with Esgaron there to ground him, and he blinked up at Celebrían in mild confusion as he sorted out words again. "If... you think so?"

"I do. And thank you again for such music. You two stay here. We will return," she said kindly. She smiled conspiratorially and headed into the woods.

"Coming, _Nana!_ " the twins chorused as they followed her.

Esgaron watched her leave, but then turned back to Maglor, still with the smouldering eyes. "...are you all right, Cano?"

"Hm?" Maglor nodded slowly and raised an eyebrow at Esgaron. "Yes. It is sometimes... difficult to come back, after doing that. What is that look for?"

Esgaron gently stroked Maglor's cheek with his long fingers. "Because I love you." And he got a solid kiss for that.

Maglor leaned into the hand fondly. "I love you, too." Well, okay, he was surprised, but was quite happy to kiss back.

"They left us alone for a reason, Cano." More kisses, with softer lips, against Maglor's mouth and cheeks and neck. "Your song changed for me, you know. It was different. When you sang my notes, they were warmer, richer... My song has your love in it. And it soothed the wounds left by the sea. Which... that is a Song I do not think I need to hear again. It felt like it was trying to rip open my wounds again. But your love... I will never tire of that."

"Did they?" Maglor kissed back, gently, and his neck arched to give Esgaron better access, hands coming up to tangle fondly in golden hair, interest slowly kindling in grey eyes. "Oh, it did? When I do that... I... lose myself a little. I never really know what I sing after. I am glad... it brought you some measure of peace."

"It makes a good salve, but I fear the Sea will always pain me, Cano. I do not know if that can be helped," Esgaron admitted. "As for the others, was it not obvious? You truly must have been lost to not notice. But... perhaps now would be better for you to get lost in me?"

"I am sorry that it does, love, but I must confess a part of me is glad also, for it means it will not steal you away." Though they were shy at first, his kisses turned a little hungrier, since they were alone. "Is that so? I admit it is a far more pleasant place to get lost."

A shiver went through Esgaron at the thought, and for a few heartbeats, he clung, eyes closed. "...do not say such things, Cano. Lord Ulmo may yet change his mind about me," he murmured, "You will have to distract me from such thoughts now, my pretty raven..."

"I think if he were going to do so, my love, he would have done so those days we dwelt by the sea," Maglor said. He wrapped his arms close and kissed him again, hands wandering to lacings. "I suppose I should... Would that be apology enough for bringing you pain, my golden one?"

"Then pray he forgets about me, as you pray for your fate to remain asleep," Esgaron whispered. He kissed Maglor, drinking him in. When they pulled back, he caressed Maglor's cheek, a gentle, sensual gesture, eyes bright with fire. "I believe it would at least make a fine start."

"If any still listen to a kinslayer, then I will pray it every day." Maglor's own eyes were lighting silver then, and his answering kiss was hungry as he tugged the lacings on Esgaron's shirt loose and ran his hands under it, tracing across his skin and nipping down his neck. "Then I believe I should work hard at apologising, no?"

"Yes." The word was half a sigh, the silver fire making a lovely contrast with Esgaron's golden hair. "Very much so, my raven..."

"What do you want, love?" Maglor nipped gently at the pulse point on Esgaron's neck, tracing notations across his skin. "How do you want me?"

Esgaron laughed softly. "Here I thought _you_ were seducing _me,_ sweet Cano." he teased. "I do not know how much time we have before they return. As much as I would savor you, I will suggest expediency... and perhaps a measure of subtlety."

"Well, if I am apologising, I should do it right, no?" Maglor smiled back teasingly, hands still tracing patterns. "So I should let you decide."

"Mmm. Surprise me, Cano."

"As my beloved commands," Maglor purred. He kissed Esgaron hungrily, hand slipping down to the lacings of his pants and teasingly brushed up his thigh.

Esgaron groaned into the kiss, tangling fingers in dark hair. Maglor's attention was rewarded with his obvious arousal.

Maglor nudged them both to lie down, teasing with gentle hands and nipping softly along Esgaron's neck as he tugged at shirt and pants to remove them.

Esgaron growled softly, playfully, and nipped back as he allowed Maglor to lay him down naked in the grass. His eyes were aglow with eager want.

"Esgaron, Esgaron..." Maglor's kisses were full of love and adoration, hands teasing as they searched for sensitive places. "You are so beautiful, love."

"Mmm, Cano..." By now, Maglor had surely discovered most, if not all, of Esgaron's sensitive spots, knowing where he especially loved to be touched and kissed, and he sighed and moaned every time Maglor found one.

 _No, they will hear you._ He mentally chided himself, so he kissed Maglor desperately so the noises could not escape.

Maglor kissed him back, hungrily, and finally brought his hand to wrap around Esgaron, stroking firmly. "Such lovely sounds you make, my golden one."

Esgaron squirmed, breath coming in pants, actually trying not to cry out for once. "Cano... Oh, my Cano... _Ai!_ " ...this plan did not go as well hoped, clearly. Trying to think quickly, Esgaron grabbed a stick lying nearby and bit down on it to muffle himself.

There was something perhaps slightly smug in Maglor's kisses, knowing that he could reduce his beloved to that, but as much as he wanted to tease, they did not know how much time they had, so... He pulled back a little, from where he was kissing down Esgaron's chest, and laved his fingers to press into Esgaron carefully.

Breath hissed between Esgaron's teeth clenched around the stick, his body writhing and bucking up into Maglor's touch. Unable to speak with the stick in his mouth, he whined needfully. His hands clutched at Maglor's shoulders, helping Esgaron brace himself. He was almost there, but not _quite._

"So beautiful," Maglor crooned softly, eyes aglow to see Esgaron like that. Carefully, he worked to time his actions with both hands, stroking at the same time as he thrusted with his fingers. "Come undone for me, love?"

It didn't take much more before Esgaron's skin tautened and his muscles clenched, tightening down on Maglor's fingers, Esgaron's hands digging into Maglor's arms. His cry was muffled by the stick as his body arched up and shuddered through his release. He gasped for breath as he took the stick out of his mouth.

"Mmm, apology most _thoroughly_ accepted, _meleth._ And what of you? Are you in need of... attention?" Esgaron asked.

Very definitely smug, and Maglor's eyes were silver lit as he kissed Esgaron fondly. "We really are going to have to look for a gag, aren't we? I...would not refuse but we do not know when they are returning, love."

Esgaron shrugged. "I do not think that would be a bad thing to seek. But as for you..." He trailed a hand along Maglor's side. "Do you wish it, with the risk, or not?"

Maglor shivered at Esgaron's touch and turned to kiss him again. "If you mind not being caught, love..."

Esgaron smiled wolfishly as he planted a smouldering kiss on Maglor's lips. "Curious fact about the Silvan: personal privacy has never been much of a concern to them. And I spent a long time among them..." Already, he was working to undo the fastenings on Maglor's clothes.

Thoroughly breathless by the time Esgaron pulled away Maglor did not protest the fingers undoing his lacings. "Did you now? And what of your oh-so-properly-Noldor sister?"

"She spent 300 years or so in Lothlórien, and many of my people settled in Belfalas, from what I have heard. I do not think she is a stranger to such things," Esgaron replied. He worked Maglor's clothes off and started kissing down his neck and chest.

Maglor's neck arched and he sighed softly, shivering under Esgaron's kisses, voice well and truly breathless. "Well. Then perhaps she will not mind too much if she.... mm, Esgaron!... comes back early."

"Actually, I am of the opinion that my lovely sister intends to give us _exactly_ enough time." A kiss on his pulse points, over Maglor's heart, lips briefly closing over each nipple in turn before Esgaron continued downward. "She and I are twins, are we not? I think she has at least some awareness of how long she will need to be away." Esgaron's hand wrapped around his lover's shaft, and Esgaron touched a gentle kiss to the head before he began stroking. "Though, I do not suggest we squander her gift to us."

A soft whine answered him, Maglor's hands tangled in his hair and tugging fondly, voice stolen as he writhed under Esgaron's clever hands.

"Ahh, my lovely Cano..." Esgaron stroked with a sure touch, and laved up his fingers to press into Maglor, first one at a time. But as his beloved adjusted, he worked a second finger into him. He kissed Maglor hungrily as he did so. "There now... Liking that? Do you wish for more? There will come a day when it shall not just be my fingers breaching you. I cannot tell you the depths of my longing for that day."

Maglor whined softly into the kiss, arching into Esgaron's hands, and his hands tugged again fondly on golden hair in answer.

"Still more? Goodness, Cano, so greedy. Is it the thought we might be caught that makes you so wanton? But, how could I do anything but spoil you, my love? More you shall have." Esgaron was very careful, but slowly added a third finger, stroking in time with his thrusts. "Come undone for me, pretty raven..."

Maglor writhed under Esgaron's hands, and he shuddered in release as silent as ever, gasping as hands tightened in Esgaron's hair and then smoothed the tresses in apology.

Esgaron smiled and kissed him as he moved his hands to caress his lover's sides. "Always so lovely. And truly, I will cherish the day when it is not just my fingers giving you pleasure. But, let me clean you up." At first, he was tempted to use one of their cloaks to wipe away the spilled seed, but thought better of it, as it would leave stains as evidence of their pleasure. After a moment's consideration, Esgaron went to work using his tongue to gently clean off his beloved.

"Esgaron! Ai..." Maglor whined softly.

"Mmm. Do you enjoy me using my mouth on you?" Esgaron asked in between licks.

Maglor dragged him upward so he could kiss him properly. "Minx," he accused fondly, "You know full well I do."

Yes, yes, Esgaron gave Maglor all the lovely kisses. "Then, at some point, I shall undo you with it alone."

There was a low growl as Maglor kissed him back. "Tempter. And you call _me_ greedy!"

"Oh, I am, when it comes to you. Would it not go against your wishes, I would have wed you a hundred times by now," Esgaron replied.

"Oh, love." Maglor could not help but kiss him again. "Soon enough. So that none can say we did not at least try and do this right. But we should both get cleaned up I think. Is there a spring nearby, perhaps?"

"There may be. Was I not satisfactory in my work?" Esgaron asked as he got to his feet.

"You were terribly satisfactory, love, enough that I rather think I need to cool down!" Maglor laughed.

"Ah, is that it? All right, find it, wash properly, and back to normal, hmm?"

"Yes it is, you minx." But Maglor's eyes laughed and he kissed Esgaron lightly. "But yes, I think so."

Maglor got a sweet kiss in return. "If you insist, Cano." He slipped his cloak on for a semblance of modesty, but did not get properly dressed again, bundling his clothes in his arms. "I think there may be one this way..."

Maglor only bothered with his pants himself - he was only going to get wet, anyway. "Lead on, love. I trust your senses more than mine in the woods."

It took Esgaron a little while, but soon he found a small bubbling spring tucked off in a shadowed glade. "Will this do for you, Cano?"

"Anything is fine, love." Maglor smiled back and leaned forward to steal a kiss. "And this does splendidly."

"Mmm." Esgaron took that stolen kiss and drew it out a little. "I suppose we should not keep them waiting, lest they wonder where we are." He still hesitated a little near the water's edge.

"Probably not," Maglor agreed and waited patiently for Esgaron to gather his courage. "I'm here, love. It's all right."

"One day, perhaps, it shall not make me fear..." Esgaron murmured. He slipped the cloak off, but didn't get in. He just cupped a little water in his hands to rinse off.

"One day," Maglor agreed, dunking himself right under briefly. "But do not rush, hm? You were hurt very badly - such trauma does not easily leave."

Esgaron didn't say anything, his earlier playfulness shadowed by a moody silence and he got dressed again.

Maglor watched him with worry and reached across to twine their hands together once they both were dressed.

Esgaron let Maglor take his hand, but his face remained stony and preoccupied. He didn't look at anything in particular, his gaze far away.

He gave a sigh, Maglor squeezing the hand and staying close, but he did not know what he could say or do to help, beyond simply being there. "Come back, love. We should return to the camp and see if your sister and nephews have caught us a meal."

"Your hair is still wet. They will wonder about that," Esgaron noted.

Maglor shrugged a little. "I will just tell them I took a dunk in the spring, I am sure they won't push too much further." So he hoped.

Esgaron spoke very softly. "...I do not know if I want to go back just yet."

"All right," Maglor agreed easily, coming to stand beside Esgaron and offered a tentative hug, "We can stay here for a bit, if you like?"

For a little while, Esgaron just let Maglor hold him, face buried in his neck. He idly stroked the damp, dark strands. "...would you let me braid your hair, Cano?"

"Hm?" Maglor pulled back a little from the hug and blinked at Esgaron and then nodded. "Of course you can, love."

"Thank you." Esgaron found a log and gestured for Maglor to sit. He took his place behind his lover, running his fingers through the long, dark locks. Nimbly, methodically, Esgaron worked to braid Maglor's hair. It was not reflective of any special status, any particular culture, the pattern born of Esgaron's own design, filled with delicate intricacies. He carefully squeezed out the water as he worked, the task a fine distraction for his mind, where he could focus only on the braids in his fingers. At long last, he fastened it. "There. Does it please you, Cano?"

As was usual by the time Esgaron wass done Maglor was half-way to drowsing, a low pleased hum lilting through the air at the feel of clever fingers in his hair. He roused when Esgaron was done, one hand going up to trace the braids lightly and turned to smile up at him and pull him down for a gentle kiss. "Thank you Esgaron, yes, I do. I only wish I could see it, it feels as if you far outdid yourself."

"I did not bring a looking glass, Cano. Perhaps my sister has one with her," Esgaron suggested. "But the design... It really... I did not outdo myself. It simply... is."

"Perhaps, but either way I might leave it in, if you don't mind? Until we get to Imladris, I mean. It feels beautiful, love. Clever and practical all at once," Maglor said fondly.

"If you think it will last that long. But at least your hair does not appear wet anymore," Esgaron mused. "I suppose we should return, lest the others start to wonder where we are..."

"I will take care of it, and we shall see. But yes, let us return to camp," Maglor said.

Esgaron slipped his hand into Maglor's again. "This way, then, Cano. Hopefully we have not been missed."

Maglor squeezed back and got up to follow. "Hopefully not! But I am sure they will not mind."

Esgaron led them back to the site, noting it still empty. "Ah, so we are not missed at all. Good. And yet..."

There was a rustling, surely deliberate, and Celebrían emerged into the campsite, arms filled with kindling, her sons not far behind her. She grinned to note Maglor's braid. "We have returned. Did you spend the entire time doing each other's hair?" she asked.

Maglor shot a wry look at Esgaron. Well. He _had_ said his sister would know. "Some, yes. Your brother has a skill for braids, it seems."

"Hi Uncle E., Uncle M.!" the twins chorused cheerfully and exchanged saucy grins at each other. "Look! We found a rabbit and some quail! Meat for dinner tonight!"

Esgaron looked back and shrugged a little. He was... pretty sure they _all_ knew what they were up to... "That sounds like a fine feast. Thank you," he said.

"He does have clever hands," Celebrían said. Was that a wink? Yes, totally a wink. "Well, come on, my lads, let's get the fire going so we can eat. Get them skinned and dressed." Celebrían meanwhile worked to get a nice crackling fire going.

Maglor flushed a little at Celebrían 's insinuation, but stared back with shy pride and his hand tightened around Esgaron's briefly. They were both adults. "Yes, thank you, nephews," he said.

There were twin snickers but obediently they called out, "Yes, _Nana!_ Did either of you want to help, uncles?"

Esgaron squeezed gently, too, then let go and moved toward the twins. "I suppose we could, though Cano is the better field dresser," he said, "What do you want us to do?"

Celebrían fed the fire a little more, and then worked to fashion a spit. "I fear we did not bring much for seasoning. Just a bit of salt. I hope you do not mind."

Maglor shook his head. "We are both of us used to simple fare as well, it is no trouble, truly. Do I need to fetch water?"

"Whichever you like, Uncle E.!" the twins said, "But an extra set of hands will make the work go faster."

Esgaron suppressed a shiver and smiled at Maglor. "Why don't you go fetch some water, Cano. I will help dress the game," he offered. He pulled out one of his knives and worked to skin the animals.

"Thank you, Maglor. Have you a vessel to carry it?" Celebrían asked.

"I do not - have you something suitable?" Maglor asked. He would be quick.

"Sure! Thanks Uncle E.!" The twins were quick and had obviously been taught well and between them it would not take long.

"Ah... Let me see..." Celebrían looked through her things, and pulled out what looks like an oversized waterskin. "It does not hold a _lot,_ but will this do?"

Esgaron's nimble hands were quick as well, and soon the meat was ready for cooking. He then looked at the spits Celebrían had been fashioning, made a few quick revisions to the design, and then speared the meat. "You two want to take turns making sure it cooks properly?" he asked his nephews.

"Good enough." Maglor accepted the vessel with a smile and he was as quick as he could be, returning with the skin full soon enough. "How long do you expect the journey to take?"

"Can do!" the twins assured Esgaron and set themselves the task of making sure the rabbits are cooked, teasing and ribbing each other. "Thanks for your help!"

Esgaron smiled and lets the younger twins take over. "Of course. There may be a lot I no longer remember, but that does not mean I cannot be useful."

"Come on, my sons, help me get things served up once the meat is ready. Guests first, you know the rules," Celebrían said before turning to Maglor. "I expect perhaps a fortnight, depending on how well you can ride and how often you feel you need rest."

"I can go as long as I need to," Maglor assured her, "I am out of practice but my mind still remembers and your sons have trained their steeds well. I will tire less, as the days go." He looked to his beloved. "What of you, love?" he asked Esgaron.

"You're the best, Uncle E.!" The younger twins beamed with pride to hear that.

"Elrohir does most of the training."

"Yeah, 'Dan isn't as involved as me."

"Yes, _Nana!_ " they chorused obediently.

Esgaron laughed softly. "I have a feeling you both do very well," he said. "I... think I will be all right, Cano. My stamina is much improved since you pulled me from the beach."

Celebrían got everyone served, Maglor and Esgaron first, then her sons, then herself. "Glad to hear it. Then I expect no trouble. We can rest after we have eaten, and start off again first thing in the morning, and should arrive at Imladris in no time."

"Thank you, Lady Celebrían." Maglor accepted his portion gratefully. "Truly the hospitality of your House is justly famous, even when your roof is the skies and your carpet the grass." He smiles in thanks at the twins. "Your skills at field cooking do you credit," he told them. "We have shared our tales, will you tell us of Imladris?"

The pair beamed brightly at Esgaron and Maglor for the praise. "Thanks! We have good teachers!" the younger twins said proudly.

Esgaron accepted his portion, and settled in next to Maglor, not quite cuddling with him, but not exactly _not_ either. He looked expectantly at his sister.

"Ah, well... Imladris has always been a refuge, ever since its founding. Originally for those escaping the war, and then for any who needed succor. The White Council has always been held there. I was there for the first one. Elrond was so sweet to offer me a seat next to his," Celebrían said, "It has grown, but it will always be a place for anyone who needs it. A place for work or rest, learning or reflection, music or silence. And none are turned away."

"The "White Council"?" Maglor asked curiously as he leaned on Esgaron. "I do not think I have heard of that. But... it does sound like the sort of place Elrond would build. He always had such a generous heart. I am sure his joys are added that he shares them with you."

"It's very beautiful!" Elladan nodded.

"Waterfalls everywhere!" Elrohir agreed.

"There are farmers with apple orchards and grain..."

"And a river - the Bruinen!"

Esgaron laughed, leaning against Maglor. "I suspect you two get quite a lot out of that river."

"We have only had one grand White Council, though there have been smaller, less formal meetings of its members. It was held shortly after the founding of Imladris, a grouping of those survivors who led Eregion, including my parents, and Gil-galad the High King, and the Istari, so that we might choose the path of Middle-earth through our combined wisdom. You were not present, Amroth, for you and Amdír worked in Lothlórien during that time. It was there that we decided for Eregion to be abandoned after the Enemy had laid waste to it and the bright city of Ost-in-Edhil. Imladris became the stronghold in its place. And there that my husband was granted a vice-regency and given possession of the Blue Ring," Celebrían said. "I am sure one day, we shall have another."

"The..." Maglor's mouth snapped shut even as he sat bolt upright, dislodging Esgaron. "Lady, I would not mention such things out here. Even if _he_ is defeated, there remain many things in this world that might take such knowledge and use it for ill."

" _Naneth?_ " The twins tensed at Maglor's abrupt switch in disposition. "Uncles?"

Esgaron also looked puzzled, rubbing his shoulder where Maglor pushed against it.

"I understand your concern, Maglor. But I would not have said anything unless I was sure it was safe to do so. No darkness lingers here," Celebrían assured him.

Maglor apologised quietly to Esgaron, "Sorry, love." He gave Celebrían a quiet, bitter smile. "Some might say it is sitting opposite you, little niece," he said, "But all right. Still, I would not speak of such things aloud." Slowly, he relaxed again.

The younger twins looked between themselves and Elladan offered, "You're not that bad, Uncle M."

"If _Naneth_ says it's fine, we're sure it will be," his brother chimed in.

Celebrían's eyes could cut right through Maglor, her voice deceptively mild. "I was under the impression different jewels were your concern. And I question the wisdom of painting yourself as dangerous when you seek blessings to wed my brother. Which adds its own level of oddity when you address me that way, considering he and I are twins. I do not think it can be both ways for you."

Esgaron himself remained silent, not really sure what just happened, but his expression was guarded. Wary. Almost idly, he still rubbed his shoulder.

"Anything my family touched is potentially tainted, and I have always been dangerous, and remain so. That I love your brother does not change that fact. And if not that, then tell me how I should address you, Lady," Maglor said. 

The younger twins watched both sides warily, uncertain as to if they were meant to be saying anything at all.

"My name will suffice. I presume that is how you address him when not using an endearment," Celebrían said airily, "It still does you no favors, especially considering the one request I have made of you."

"Enough, both of you." For a moment, King Amroth re-emerged. "We have a long way to go. I will not suffer you two bickering the entire way. We are family. Family should be willing to look beyond the mistakes of the past."

In automatic response to that tone, Maglor dropped his eyes, yielding. "Sorry, Esgaron," he muttered softly.

"Uncles?" Elrohir ventured cautiously, " _Naneth?_ "

"Thank you." Esgaron kissed Maglor's cheek lightly. "Things are all right, boys. But, as I am sure you know, there are... old tensions, it seems, that have not yet been forgotten."

Maglor reached to brush his hand over Esgaron's in apology. "There are, and sadly I do not think they will so easily vanish, but I will try not to provoke, love."

Both twins nodded slowly, willing to accept that, but they were watching their mother, too, taking their cues from her.

Celebrían, however, snapped her attention to her brother, sounding so much more like he used to. "...Are you sure you are not remembering more? You sounded... so much like you used to. The wise king of Lothlórien..."

Esgaron blinked at Celebrían's question. "I... do not think so? I am sorry, but in some ways, what is said is true. The king is gone. I do not expect his return."

She was clearly disappointed. "...I see." She moved to collect everyone's finished plates. "We should all get some rest. We ride again come early morning."

Maglor was quiet, but he brushed his hand across Esgaron's in support again and nodded. "Yes, lady."

"We'll do the dishes, _Naneth_ ," Elladan offered.

"Well, 'Dan will, I'll manage the horses," Elrohir corrected.

"As long as they get done." Celebrían did her share of clean-up and evening preparations before settling down for reverie. "Rest well, everyone." 

Esgaron twined his fingers with Maglor's. "I will stay on the ground with you, if you like."

Maglor used the hand in his to tug Esgaron close enough to press a gentle kiss to his cheek. "I do not know... will you be more secure in the trees? I suspect I will not sleep tonight, in any case."

"I have grown to love the trees, yes, but I can rest as well in their roots as their branches. Especially if you are close," Esgaron said, "...at least promise me you will rest, Cano. Some reverie, if not sleep. I will be be close."

The twins had vanished to their chores and so Maglor was not so shy without watching eyes. "I can try, love. It is easier when you are near. If you do not mind... the roots would suit me as well."

"Very well." Esgaron wrapped his arms around Maglor, and kissed him tenderly. "I love you. Try to get some rest. I will not let go." He tucked his bright head into its familiar spot on Maglor's shoulder, aiming for reverie.

"I love you as well, Esgaron." Maglor kissed him back gently and tucked himself next to him. He did not know if he _would_ be able to rest, but for Esgaron's sake he would try. To rest, at least, if not to dream, and it was always easier, with solid reassuring warmth in his arms.

"Sweet dreams, Cano." Esgaron tried for reverie, he did, but after a couple hours, his eyes closed, his body went slack, and his breath deep and even. His arms slid down, but he remained true to his promise: he did not let go. 

"Rest easy, my love." Maglor did not sleep, although he did manage reverie, at least for a while, listening to Esgaron's breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 0\. Again, we are SO APPRECIATIVE of your patience. The chapters get longer and more complex with our steadily-expanding cast of characters. Hopefully Chapter 12 will be a little better! We love everyone joining us on this crazy adventure, and we love hearing your love for it as well. Stay tuned! More is coming!


	12. Lightning Splits The Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the road to Imladris, a spring storm delays their travel--and reveals new depths of Esgaron's terrors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 0\. Look, it's a wild update! Sorry about the delay, but life was a bit of a whirlwind for us between international holidays and graduations and all kinds of things this summer.  
> 1\. This is a rough chapter for poor Esgaron. Expect a lot of panic and other traumatized behaviors from him.

When dawn broke, Esgaron was still soundly asleep, using Maglor as a pillow. Not even the sounds of the camp rising to wakefulness seemed to rouse him. Of course, it was Celebrían who roused first, readying breakfast and moving to getting everyone else up.

"Come on, lads, breakfast is waiting, and we have a long ride ahead of us. Everyone up. I warned you the dawn would come early, and here it is," she said.

"Aww..." The twins grumbled cheerfully at her at being roused, but they were up and Elrohir was whistling as he tended the horses, even as Elladan went to fetch water after stirring the coals of the fire alight.

"Good morrow to you, Lady Celebrían," Maglor greeted her and crooked an amused eyebrow at Elladan as he went cheerfully past. "I fear your brother is still abed."

"And to you, Maglor." She pursed her lips as she looked at her sleeping brother. "If he does not wake, he does not get breakfast. Wake him as you usually do."

Esgaron made a soft noise and shifted in his sleep. He appeared to be dreaming, but did not stir otherwise. Maglor nodded at Celebrían and nudged Esgaron gently.

"Esgaron? Love, time to wake up."

It took a bit, but eventually his eyes opened. "Mmm. Morning, Cano..." Esgaron gave him a sleepy, nuzzling good morning kiss. "Did you rest well?"

"Good morning, love." Maglor nuzzled back, nipping gently at the kiss since they were alone again. "Time to get up and go. I..." He considered and smiled. "...did rather, I think. No bad dreams."

"Mmm. Will we have time for such play this morning, Cano?" Esgaron was not fully awake yet, but he could still give playful little kisses. 

Maglor chuckled softly into the kisses. "Alas, as much as I would enjoy it, I rather think not. We have a long way to go, my love, and the sooner started, the sooner finished, I think," he said. 

"Ah, what a shame." Esgaron stretched languidly. "But I am glad you got some rest."

"As am I. Did you sleep well?" Maglor asked.

"Still, yes. Though... I did not intend to fall asleep..." Esgaron said.

Maglor watched him with admiring eyes and made a low, amused chuff. "Plenty of time later, love. And you must have needed it, if you did. It is well. You kept your promise, Esgaron."

"How could I ever let go of you, Cano?" Esgaron affectionately touched his nose to Maglor's and stole a quick kiss. "I know you worry when I sleep too much. But I love being in your arms and having you in mine."

"If holding you helps, love, then I am glad, but I admit to liking to hold you irregardless." Maglor was only too glad to sneak a kiss in return. 

"You are my husband. As well you should," Esgaron purred.

"Not formally. " Maglor grinned at him. "But yes."

" _Yet._ " Esgaron grinned back. "Ah, I suppose everyone is waiting for us... We should do our part to help. We are spoiled princes no longer, after all," he sighed.

"Yet," Maglor agreed fondly. "But, aye, we should; I suppose we have been lazy enough for today."

"Hopefully they are not too impatient." Esgaron led the short distance to where Celebrían and her sons were having breakfast and getting ready to go.

"Ah! I see you are joining us after all!" Celebrían teased when they arrived. "There is still some breakfast left, though perhaps not as hot as before. Once you are done eating, we are just about ready to leave."

Maglor smiled and ducked his head shyly at Celebrían's tease, still not entirely comfortable with people in general. "Yes, lady - I do not mind, I assure you," he said softly.

"Good morning, Uncles!" the twins chorused in unison. 

"At least you made it here before 'Dan could eat everything!" Elrohir said cheerfully.

"Hey! You're the one whom _Naneth_ had to warn off a second helping!" Elladan retorted.

Esgaron laughed lightly at the twins arguing. "Seems we are just in time, Cano. Good morning to all of you as well. And, thank you." He got some breakfast for both him and Maglor.

"And that is why I told you both to leave some," Celebrían chided. "But, please, help yourselves and eat up. Boys, are you ready otherwise? Have everything?"

"It certainly does. Thank you for remembering to leave us _something,_ nephews!" Maglor said.

"And we did!" Elladan protested with a grin.

"We are." Elrohir nodded. "The horses have all been fed and watered and are eager to go."

"The weather looks like it will remain fine, and we should be able to make good time," Elladan added.

"Packs are all rolled up and saddlebags are full."

"Ready whenever you are!" they chorused.

Esgaron ate as quickly as he could. "Good weather sounds excellent. Cano, will you be at the front or the back this time?" he asked.

Celebrían collected the last few things and then mounted her horse. "Come on, then. Imladris awaits," she called. And she was the first to head out, moving at a brisk trot.

Maglor mimicked him, also eager to be off, now. "I think I will let you sit in front this time, love - unless you prefer it otherwise?"

"No rush!" both twins assured them, and when they were done, they were happy to offer any help needed before tussling briefly over which of them got to ride up front that time. " _Nana!"_ There was a yelp as she took off and they chased her, Elladan behind Elrohir that day.

"You are all slow!" Celebrían laughed and rode ahead, silver hair streaming behind her, painted red by the rising sun.

"No, that will be fine, love." Esgaron climbed on, Maglor's arms wrapped around his waist.

For much of the trip, the journey was fine and fair, but the spring weather could not hold out for the entire fortnight. They were perhaps a few days out from Imladris when boiling dark clouds rolled in and a spring storm dropped rain on them. Esgaron, having switched to be in back, shivered and clung to Maglor, burying his face in his beloved's shoulder, trying to hide his fear. Maglor lifted his head when the storm clouds rolled in, and one hand went to lay over Esgaron's as they rode.

"Hold on, love. We'll get to shelter as soon as we can," Maglor promised quietly. "Celebrían!" He called ahead to her. "We should find a place to shelter for tonight!"

"There's a small set of caves, not far ahead?" offered Elladan.

"We'll go first and make sure they are actually empty," Elrohir agreed.

Celebrían slowed her mount. "It will be too wet to find wood suitable for a fire, so we will have to dine on packed rations, and there will be little comfort from that. But, I agree, rest would not go amiss," she said.

"No, Cano." Esgaron's voice was soft, and muffled against Maglor's shoulder. "Please, Cano, no. If the horses can manage it, let us continue. I... I do not want them to see. Not like this."

"The rain will be heavy, my love, the storm looks a bad one - I do not know how bad. Are you sure?" Maglor asked.

" _Please,_ Cano," Esgaron begged, "For them, if not for me. Am I not already damaged enough in their eyes? Must they see me so broken?" 

"All right. I will ask," Maglor agreed. "Celebrían! Can we ride through this? I fancy not spending the night in a cave, no matter how empty it seems. In these lands things are not always as they seem."

"Only if the paths are good. If they are washed out by the storm, we won't be able to pass them easily, and I will not put us so at risk," she mused. "I will ask the boys to scout ahead when they return, but I cannot promise the way is passable."

Esgaron was still shaking and clinging with a deathgrip around Maglor's waist, but he sighed into his beloved's shoulder. "Thank you, Cano..." The words were little more than breath.

"Thank me later, love. Hold tight," Maglor said, before turning back to Celebrían. "Thank you, Celebrían. We will have to see."

Esgaron kept his face buried in Maglor's shoulder, but he sought out one of Maglor's hands to hold for reassurance. He was still pressed tightly against Maglor's back and arms wrapped around his waist like he had no intention of letting go. Thunder rumbled overhead and Esgaron bit back a whimper. Maglor's hand twined around Esgaron's and he squeezed, voice kept soft for him. "I'm here, love. I won't let go."

Esgaron squeezed tightly. "I love you, Cano."

Maglor squeezed back more. "I, too."

" _Naneth!_ Uncles!" Elladan called out hs return, but there was no sign of Elrohir. "We found the caves, they're just off the road, not far from here. 'Roh is checking them out, but on cursory view they look clear?"

"Glad to hear, Elladan. But it seems your uncles do not trust the caves here. Ride ahead and see if the paths are good enough to travel," Celebrían instructed.

Elladan looked doubtful but he nodded. "In this weather? All right. I won't be long."

"I agree, son, but they would press onward if possible. At least go see, and be careful!" she said.

"All right." Elladan wheeled about and headed back the way he came. "Be as quick as I can!"

"He will return soon. Are you certain you do not wish to shelter until we hear for sure? Just waiting in the caves can do no harm, surely," Celebrían suggested.

Esgaron's grip on Maglor tightened. "I do not want them to see, Cano."

Maglor's hand tightened on Esgaron's and he shook his head at Celebrían. "I know, but if we can, both of us would prefer to push on."

She raised an eyebrow. " _Both_ of you? But you are the only one I hear speaking, Maglor."

"Cano... _Please..._ " Though soft, there was no mistaking the urgency of Esgaron's plea.

"I..." Maglor bit his lip, and the hand on Esgaron's tightened further. "Please, Celebrían, I speak for him in this."

"...as you will, then," she conceded. "The boys should be returning soon." She still edged her mare to try and avoid the storm as much as possible.

Some of Esgaron's tension unwound and he pressed a grateful kiss to Maglor's shoulder. Well, until another clap of thunder had him clinging again.

" _Naneth!_ Uncles!" Both twins had returned that time. "The roads look all right for a ways ahead, if you want to keep going?" _WHY?_ both of their looks screamed, but they didn't ask aloud.

Maglor bowed in gratitude to Celebrían and his hand squeezed Esgaron's again. "We do, thank you, nephews."

Esgaron didn't trust his voice louder than what Maglor could hear, so he made an affirmative gesture and then went back to his deathgrip on Maglor. "Thank you, Cano..." he whispered.

"Onward, then!" Celebrían declared. She wheeled her mare around. "But, everyone, be _cautious._ Just because it looks safe is no guarantee it is."

"We'll go first," Elladan volunteered. 

"We'll call if something doesn't look right," Elrohir agreed.

"Hold tight, love." Maglor squeezed that hand. "Lead on!"

Esgaron didn't have to be told twice, clinging tightly to Maglor, face buried in his shoulder so he didn't have to look at the storm. The rain came down in sheets and Maglor was only too grateful that at least it was not the freezing cold of winter. Spring storms were usually brief, he told himself, hand tightening on Esgaron's. Hopefully, this would pass soon. 

Celebrían was not far behind her sons, moving carefully, watching for any changes to the conditions of their road. "Everyone still all right back there? Careful--there are slick places here," she cautioned.

Esgaron was decidedly not fine, shivering under his cloak. He was terrified, and the claps of thunder sometimes had him biting at Maglor's shoulder to keep from crying out. But he was grateful for his lover's comforting presence. Maglor was grateful for the steadiness of the horse under him, one hand twined tight around Esgaron's as the other held the guide reins. He could feel how terrified Esgaron was, and he ached to try and soothe it. 

"Aye, we manage," Maglor called back.

Ahead. the twins were scouting the road, and they called back, "The river's running high!"

"You sure you want to try the ford?"

"How high is it? Could the horses keep their heads above the water?" their mother asked.

Esgaron was barely clinging to control with the rainstorm, but the suggestion of fording a swollen river was pushing him into sheer panic, his breathing becoming shallow and frantic, fingers scrabbling to clutch Maglor for dear life. "...let there be a way around, there must be... The water... _n-no..._ " he muttered, low and desperate.

"Sssh, ssh, love." Maglor's fingers twined with Esgaron's, his voice low and just for the two of them as he watched. "We may not be able to ford at all. Esgaron, beloved, we may have to stop for the night."

"'S pretty high." The twins exchanged speaking looks. 

"Maybe?" Elrohir said slowly, "Think so, anyway. But it's pretty bad looking, _Naneth._ We might be better off trying to find someplace else to ford or stopping overnight."

"All right. Take a half hour to check for any better crossing points. If there are none, we find shelter for the night. I will not risk it," Celebrían decided.

"'Kay. We'll head upstream and see what we can find." Elrohir nodded and the two of them turned upstream.

"I will check downstream. You two wait for us here," Celebrían instructed. She spurred her mare and rode off to look.

Esgaron, meanwhile, bit back a sob against Maglor's shoulder, not wanting to be seen so wrecked, but there was no way he could go into the rushing waters.

"Hush, hush, love." Maglor pressed his hand comfortingly. "Hold on, Esgaron, hold on."

"Cano... Cano, I _can't..._ " Esgaron's fear was starting to rub off on their mare, and she began to stamp nervously.

"Sshh." Since they were alone, Maglor twisted slightly to hold Esgaron better, pulling them both down off the horse. "I know, love, I know."

"We... We have to..." Esgaron started looking at the trees again.

"Ssh, ssh." Maglor wrapped Esgaron in his arms. "Your sister will not let us cross unless she can find a safe crossing. There is no need to fear the river. I know you did not want them to see, but, love, if you run now, they will know in any case, and it will be safer if we stay together."

"Cano..." Esgaron said his beloved's name sadly, and then buried his face in Maglor's neck, quaking with sobs.

"Oh, Esgaron." Maglor rocked him in his arms, crooning soft comfort, and wished he could take away the fear. Esgaron just clung to him, hands clenching and unclenching almost spasmodically. Maglor crooned to him, rocking him and tugged them both into the shelter of the trees as they waited. "Oh, love, I am here, Esgaron. Sssh, sshh." Gently, he kissed the tears on Esgaron's face. Esgaron just stood there, letting Maglor cradle him, trying to keep a desperate grip on his sanity and reality, until, in the quest to kiss away all his tears, Maglor eventually was kissing away the salt on Esgaron's lips. Kisses seemed to help distract somewhat, as Esgaron was soon desperately crushing his lips against Maglor's. Well, that was not quite as intended but surely, if Esgaron needed it, then Maglor was happy to distract him that way, pressing his lover back against the tree and kissing him, letting his hands go wandering. Esgaron's hands didn't go wandering as they were still gripping Maglor's clothes with a white-knuckled hold, but he moaned softly into the kisses and sounded much less afraid. That was better, and so Maglor pressed that advantage, hands brushing and teasing and kissing him with as much love as he could. Little by little, the panic began to calm, though Esgaron remained decidedly jumpy with every flash of lightning or rumble of thunder, so he didn't respond as amorously as he usually would. But there was comfort in Maglor's arms and he took it readily. Maglor kissed him, pleased that at least this small thing he could do, leaving his mouth to nip gently down his neck, hands looking for his more sensitive spots, anything to distract him from the rain. The hood of Esgaron's cloak fell back as Maglor kissed his neck. A flash of lightning made his exposed scar look stark white beside the golden braids. Esgaron shivered and held his lover all the more tightly.

"...love you, Cano," he whispered.

Maglor hated the scar and loved it, for what it meant to Esgaron, and what it meant to him, and he kissed Esgaron again, fingers running gently through his golden hair and brushing against the scar.

"I love you, too, Esgaron. Always."

Esgaron flinched slightly when Maglor touched the scar. "...does it look bad?" he asked. He touched it gingerly, and when he brought his hand away, Esgaron glanced at his fingers as if checking for blood, despite it being long since healed over.

"No." Maglor brushed his fingers across it gently. "It is a part of you, after all." He captured Esgaron's hands to kiss his fingers gently.

"Not all of me is beautiful..." Esgaron muttered.

"Untrue," Maglor insisted. Gentle fingers continued to flit carefully across the scar. "Every part of you, Esgaron. Even the scars."

"...Cano..." Esgaron leaned his forehead against his beloved's.

"I love you, Esgaron." Maglor carded his hand through his beloved's hair. "Every part of you is beautiful to me."

Esgaron caught the hand and kissed the white ring Maglor wore. "Even broken?"

"Even broken." Maglor turned to press a kiss along the scar. "How else would I have met you, after all?"

"...did I have a ban on my woods? I do not remember..." Esgaron moved his mouth from the ring to the burned palm, kissing it softly. "...I suppose we are both broken in our ways..." he mused.

"I do not know." Maglor shrugged. "But I decided long ago not to return amongst our people and so..." He huffed softly in a sad sort of amusement. "I suppose we rather are."

"I think... I would have welcomed you anyway. Would I ever be so cold to turn away a lonely traveller? But if I would have loved you... I do not know," Esgaron said, "But I am glad to have you now."

"I think you would have," Maglor agreed and kissed him gently, "But I would never have asked it of you - of anyone, in those days. So I am grateful for this now."

"I am... safer... with you," Esgaron said. He couldn't help a convulsive shudder. "But rain or not, I cannot ford a river. I cannot. It is tempting doom to try..."

"I will do my best to protect you, always." Maglor's arms tightened around Esgaron. "We will wait - your sister and nephews have gone to look. If the water is too high, we will have to wait out the storm here."

"Are there no bridges in these parts?" Esgaron asked. "I would sooner build one than enter the river..."

"I do not know - I suppose if your sister or the twins find one, we can ask," Maglor said.

"Will they come back soon?"

"Your sister said a half an hour, yes? It is a little hard to judge the time, but I think they should be returning relatively soon," Maglor assured him. Esgaron just sighed and buried his face in Maglor's neck again. Maglor tightened his arms around Esgaron comfortingly and sang softly of sunshine, watching the rain fall. "Ah, love. Hopefully they find another way across."

"We can hope," Esgaron mumbled. Nope, he was not letting go.

"I will tell her, when she comes back," Maglor murmured, carding through golden hair, "That we cannot cross the river like this. I do not think she will disagree, considering how swollen it looks. We will have to go upstream quite a ways, or look for a bridge. Will you be all right tonight if no crossing is to be found?"

"You know me. I would rather be up there." Esgaron gestured to the trees. "But... If I must... Then... _perhaps._ "

"I know. But in a storm, with lightning? For once, my love, I think I will insist on you staying down here," Maglor said.

"...but I cannot drown up there," Esgaron pointed out.

"You will not drown down here, love. The rain is slowing, see you? The river's banks will not burst. We will be fine," Maglor promised. There was just a quiet sigh, and Esgaron tightened his grip on Maglor. In part, he knew it was irrational, but he craved Maglor's reassurance. Maglor tightened his grip in return, holding him close and singing softly in his ears. Esgaron was very quiet when he next spoke.

"...don't let me die..."

Maglor buried his face in Esgaron's hair and promised, "I will do my best."

Hoofbeats sounded as Celebrían rode back, looking for her sons as well as Maglor and Esgaron. "Boys? Are you here?" her voice asked, cutting through the storm.

Maglor lifted his head when Celebrían called. "Here, Celebrían! No sign of the twins yet," he answered.

" _Naneth!_ " The call came from further upstream as the twins came back into view. "Uncles! The river runs high!" they said, "If we cross, it won't be near here."

She rode up to her sons. "Ah, good. There you are. It is no better the other way, unfortunately. Not that I could see. We will either have to wait for it to subside, or go well out of our way."

Esgaron remained close to Maglor and had drawn his hood back up again to shade his face. "...are there no bridges in these parts we might use?" he asked.

The twins exchanged glances and Elladan said slowly, "There is, but Uncle E., it is maybe a day's ride upriver?"

Maglor's arms remained fondly tight around Esgaron, but he kept silent.

"We cannot cross today as it is, correct? If our choices are to wait a day or ride a day, it would seem the choice obvious. We lose a day either way with this crossing. Why not make it as safe and easy as possible?" Esgaron asked.

"I... suppose he has a point. There is no other crossing to be had right now," Celebrían conceded.

"Then I suppose we had best search for a campsite - at the least the rain is easing," Maglor suggested.

"There were spots a bit farther up the river that might do?" the twins said.

"I saw one not far from here. Follow me," Celebrían said. She turned her mare and started heading for it.

Esgaron sighed. He seemed to hope to be closer to crossing than camping, but his head dropped in defeat. "...front or back, Cano?" he asked.

Maglor pressed a sympathetic kiss to golden hair. "Whichever you prefer, love - I don't mind."

"Coming, _Naneth!_ " the twins called out. Elrohir shot a concerned glance at Esgaron before Elladan tugged him up behind him. 

"Do you need us to hunt tonight?" one asked.

"Probably won't be much about..." admitted the other.

Esgaron kept his voice low, audible only to Maglor. "...Perhaps I will take the front this time. I... I would like to have you hold me." He climbed up on the mare carefully, and then called out in a clearer voice, one that sounded like the remnants of his diplomacy as king, "We still have rations that should suffice. I do not think there is a need to hunt tonight."

"Of course." Maglor nodded, and the whole ride there, he kepy his arms wrapped tightly around Esgaron.

"Okay." The twins nodded at their uncles.

Celebrían led them to a nice, roomy outcropping, shallow enough to be clearly unoccupied, but with enough room for the five of them, their horses and a fire. "Will this do for everyone?" she asked.

The twins followed their mother, and on dismounting Elrohir promptly vanished outside to make sure the area was safe, and Elladan set about pulling wet things off the horses. "Looks good, _Naneth_ \- need any help with getting a fire going?"

"I think it will, Celebrían - an excellent find. And no, thank you, Elladan - I think we can manage," Maglor agreed.

"Good, I am glad it is to your liking." Celebrían shook out her silver hair, and looked around, lips pursed. "...do we even have anything dry enough to burn?" she mused.

Esgaron didn't really say anything, not trusting himself to speak with his jangled nerves. He just kept close to Maglor, moving things around where needed, watching the others from under his hood. When things seemed to be more or less settled, he just quietly curled up next to Maglor.

Elladan rifled through their things doubtfully. "Not really, _Nana._ 'Roh will see if there is anything outside but..." He craned his neck. "Is there anything further back in the cave?"

"I can go and help him look?" Maglor offered, squeezing Esgaron's hand, "But there are some small pieces at the back of the cave."

Esgaron's grip tightened like he didn't want Maglor to go, and he gave his beloved an uncertain look. "Cano..." He spoke softly, but it was clear he didn't want Maglor going back into the rain.

Celebrían, meanwhile, looked critically at the sticks scattered near the back, and frowned. "Those are hardly more than kindling. But I fear anything out there will be far too rainsoaked to use for a fire... We may have to go without," she sighed.

"Don't think you'll find anything even if you look, Uncle M.," Elladan agreed with his mother, "'Roh'll look, but I doubt he'd find anything. Not even a small one, you think, _Nana?_ "

Maglor nodded, accepting, and squeezed Esgaron's hand back. "Are _any_ of our things still dry? We will probably need at least a change of clothes," he pointed out.

"Theoretically, whatever was protected in the saddlebags should be all right," Celebrían said, "Beyond that, I do not know. If this is all we have for a fire, it will have to be a small one, and short-lived at that."

Esgaron furtively kissed the hand clasped in his, but otherwise just drew his cloak more tightly around himself. He might have been wet, but he had no intention of seeking dry clothes. At least, not for the moment.

"I think the saddlebag things survived mostly intact, yep," Elladan offered.

"Eugh, I haven't been so wet in years!" Elrohir chose that moment to come back inside, shucking his cloak and tossing it at Elladan, which prompted a squawk and quick tussle, but both of them were already soaking wet so the protest was token.

Celebrían laughed as her sons broke apart. "You two are going to force a fire regardless, just to dry our clothes, are you not? All right, then, might as well make the best we can of it. I want everything ready before we light it. Those sticks will not last long." Already, she was retrieving a fresh dress from her packs.

"Wet clothes, _Nana!_ " the two of them chorused at her cheerfully but obediently started hunting for dry things.

"Come on, love," Maglor coaxed and tugged at Esgaron's hand gently. "We do not catch chills the way Men do." _Or even_ peredhil, he thought worriedly, remembering flushed faces, but his nephews... grandsons? squabbled cheerfully and did not seem concerned. "But we should at least get into dry things."

Esgaron sighed, speaking very softly,"I... Cano... I just... I am not certain I am ready to let them see me so..." He paused, deciding on the proper word. "...broken."

Maglor kept his voice low as well, for all intents and purposes simply holding his beloved. "You are not. Damaged, yes - but not broken, love. And they are your family, my heart. No one will mind the cracks," he said.

"I hope you are right, Cano," Esgaron said. With no small measure of reluctance, he fetched dry clothes, shedding his sodden cloak, shaking out and wringing his braids before pulling off his tunic. He flinched to hear the sharp intake of breath across the cave and his ear tips went pink as he hurriedly put on a dry one. Esgaron was even quicker with his pants, not looking at anyone. He even did what he could to hide his feet, with their now-crooked toes, including the nigh-skeletal one that was almost entirely a scar. His downcast features, for once, silently pleaded for no one to look at him.

Celebrían employed mainly token modesty as she changed into dry clothes, being among family, after all. But her brother's scars did not escape her, and she kept glancing in his direction with a mix of curiosity and sympathy. "When you are done, boys, help me get the fire started," she instructed.

"It will be well. Remember, they are your family, love. They only worry because they care," Maglor soothed. He pressed a kiss to golden hair before he changed as well, staying close to his betrothed as if protecting him.

The twins had been amongst Men often enough that scars were not unfamiliar, although seeing them on relatives was. They stared a little (mostly in interest) until catching Maglor's warning glare and then they went back to tussling with each other as they changed.

"Yes, _Nana!_ That pair of socks is mine!"

"Hands off, yours are the ones with the hole!"

"Are not!"

Celebrían broke up the tussle. "Focus, you two. There is work to be done. If we want dry clothes and a hot meal, help me make a fire pit and something we can dry our wet things upon," she chided.

Esgaron _knew_ he was being looked at. Knew the pity rising in them. His cheeks colored, and he moved momentarily as if he wanted to put his wet cloak back on, but instead, his hands moved to his braids, undoing them, letting them fall free. Was he hiding behind the golden curtain of his hair? ...yes. Yes, he was.

"...I do not want their pity," he mumbled.

Dressed again, Maglor came over to run his fingers through Esgaron's hair and brushed it aside to kiss him. "It is not pity, love, but concern. And the twins, I think, are only morbidly interested in how you got them."

Esgaron kissed back lightly, but still retreated behind the veil of shining gold. "I showed my head so they would understand why I do not remember, but this... I feel like I disappoint them somehow."

"Yes, _Nana,_ " the twins chorused, and having been given tasks to do, they busied themselves with that, Elladan working on getting a small firepit and setting up the twigs and branches to last as long as is feasible, while Elrohir wrung out their wet things.

"Uncle E., want me to sort yours out too?" Elladan called over.

Upon being called, Esgaron shook his head. "No, thank you! I can manage my own!" he said.

Celebrían spread out their wet things to dry and worked to scrape together rations for a meal. "All right, let us get the fire going, though I fear it will not last long..." she sighed. She fiddled with a tinderbox, working to get the fire started. Once lit, she worked to heat the food to a palatable temperature.

"You don't," Maglor says firmly in the meanwhile, but still soft, private, hand carding gently through Esgaron's hair, "They are the scars of your strength, my love. The proof that you survived."

"I survived because of _you,_ Cano. Had you come along even hours later, I would not be here." Esgaron sighed. "And that is why we are here now. To try and fix me."

"Yes. But I might have pulled merely a body from the sands, Esgaron - you were the one who fought long enough to still be living, when I came. You are beautiful, my love, and your scars do not detract from it," Maglor said.

"You also had no expectations of me. No precedent for what I was like. They do. And... I do not think I am the person they want me to be."

"You are not the person they _expect,_ that is all. The twins do not seem to mind, and Celebrían loves you enough to learn this new you, as well," Maglor insisted.

Esgaron's mouth twisted like it did when he didn't quite believe Maglor, and he shook his head. "We should see how supper is coming along," he said. He moved closer to the fire where Celebrían and the younger twins were.

"Uncle E.!" Elladan waved him over with a grin. "Here, it isn't much, but at least the soup is hot? You too, Uncle M."

"We saved a spot for your things - they probably won't dry _much,_ but it's better than nothing," Elrohir said with a nod. Both of them watched Esgaron curiously, but only for a moment, before they were distracted away again.

Esgaron brought his things over to dry as much they could and then accepted a bowl of soup as he sat by the fire. "Thank you." He took a sip. "It makes me feel better already."

Maglor sighed a little, but in that fight all he could do was offer support, he knew - and he followed Esgaron. "Thank you, Elladan." He accepted the bowl with a small nod. "How far upstream is the bridge again?"

"It is not quite a day's ride from here. But it should be a viable crossing point," Celebrían said. She glanced worriedly at her brother and gave Maglor a questioning look. Even without words, spoken or otherwise, the question was clear: _Is he all right?_ "Everyone eat up. This soup will not keep well enough to take with us," she instructed.

"Didn't look like it was flooded out," Elladan said, nodding.

"Rain's not heavy enough for that," Elrohir agreed, "Might get a break in the rain by tomorrow, maybe?"

"I trust your weather senses more than my own, I think, nephews." Maglor sipped at his soup and tipped his head slightly at Celebrían, eyes calm. _He's fine._ He made the message as clear as he could. Still, he sat very close, bolstering Esgaron with his presence as much as he could.

"We can only hope," Esgaron agreed. He was not eating much, stirring his soup more than actually putting it in his mouth. But he took comfort from Maglor's presence, all but cuddling up to him next to the cracking fire.

"Pish, we're pretty useless at that," Elladan assured.

"Too much Noldor," Elrohir added and grinned.

"More like too lazy!"

" _Nana_ 's got a better sense for the weather than we do, though."

Noticing her brother's lack of appetite, Celebrían gave Maglor a skeptical look--funny how her mouth took the same expression as her brother's. Twins, indeed. "We might not have sunshine, but it should clear off some, I think. Either way, once everyone is done with supper, I suggest getting some rest. We have all had a long and trying day," she said.

 _Exactly alike,_ Maglor sighed internally, but Esgaron didn't want to talk and so he only shrugged minutely at her and shifted closer to Esgaron. "Eat, love," he coaxed softly, "While it is still hot." And then much more aloud, "That is probably wise - think you we will need to set a watch?"

Esgaron obediently put another spoonful in his mouth at Maglor's urging, but just the one. "I will take the first watch, if it is needed," he offered.

Celebrían considered. "It may not be a bad idea. But I expect we have more to worry about from wildlife seeking shelter than anything else. If you would be more at ease with it, you are welcome to do a watch," she said.

"You sure, Uncle E.? You and Uncle M. can rest, if you like," the twins said, "We don't mind doing it."

Maglor leaned against Esgaron a little and turned to press a kiss against his hair briefly. "All of it, my love," he urged softly. Then Maglor shrugged a little. "I am not so tired that I cannot take my turn. And," he said, lifting an eyebrow at the twins, "neither am I so old as to need caring for!"

Esgaron ate a little more, but not before throwing a glance at Maglor that could not have said, "You're mothering me" any louder than if it had been spoken. "I fear the day's excitement will keep me alert for a while yet, nephews. May as well make the most of that time. We can rouse you at midnight. Let you take the second watch," he said.

"All right, if you're sure!" The twins nodded and once dinner was done they curled up together in a puppy pile between their mother and the cave entrance and fell to reverie swiftly.

Celebrían gave one last concerned look at her brother. "Good luck," she told him. She then happily snuggled up with her boys, ever the protective mother, as she fell into reverie.

Maglor ducked his head in apology but there was a stubborn set in his eyes that said clearly that he worried anyway. "Will you want company for your watch, love?"

Esgaron took his position at the cave's mouth, staying back just enough to keep dry, his gaze firmly fixed on the surrounding countryside. "For my sake? Or yours, Cano?" he asked.

"Either." Maglor shrugged, carefully gathering up the pots and coming up to rinse them in the rain. "You know I worry. But if you say you will be well, then I will believe you."

Esgaron was quiet for a while, and then, speaking very softly... "...I wish the rain did not shatter me so."

Setting the pots down, Maglor came over to hug Esgaron. "I know. I am sorry that I cannot help you more."

Esgaron nestled into Maglor's embrace. "I have not been struck by it so badly before as today... As if I were but a child..." he mused.

Maglor was only too glad to hold him close. "This is the first large storm we have had, love. Certainly, the first we have had so far away from the safety of our home. I am not all that surprised that it hit as badly as it did today, considering how I found you," he said, trying to be reassuring.

"Was it raining the day you found me?" Esgaron asked.

"Not on the day I found you, but it had been, yes. A storm on the seas," Maglor admitted. 

"And I was in the waters during it. How..." Esgaron's voice broke a little. "How bad was it?"

"Bad," Maglor remembered, "The winds came from the west, driving the storm before them. The cove I hid you in? It would have been underwater, once the waves got up."

"...so, by all rights, I should not have survived... Is that true?" Esgaron's eyes were wide and clear.

Maglor's arms tightened around Esgaron, as if to ward away the world. "I... do not know. But it surprised me greatly that you were still alive when I found you, yes."

"...Do you think you yourself would have survived it?"

Maglor shrugged a little. "I... do not know. I... for whatever reason, Lord Ossë seems fond of me, for I have survived this long by the sea, after all. But... in a storm such as that? If I was _in_ the water..."

"...I still do not understand for what purpose I was kept alive..." Esgaron murmured.

"Nor I, but I am forever grateful that you were. Perhaps it simply was not your time, perhaps the Valar had pity on me. Who knows? But you are here, and I am so, so grateful," Maglor said. 

"Here, but still broken. And not just my memory. Today proved that," Esgaron sighed. 

"Yes." Maglor pressed another kiss against golden hair. "But it does not change that I love you irregardless. Perhaps Elrond can help. Perhaps not. I still love you, Esgaron."

"Thank you, Cano. I love you, too." Esgaron nuzzled lightly. "...and thank you for trying to chase away the fear earlier."

Maglor nuzzled back, holding Esgaron close as if to block out the world. "I only wish I could truly banish it forever."

"You still might, _Meleth._ " Esgaron rested his head on Maglor's shoulder. "...you will not sleep this night, will you? Even after the watch is done?"

"I hope so, one day." Maglor turned his eyes to the outside world, but his hand came up to card gently through Esgaron's hair. "No," he admitted, "I do not think I can, tonight."

"Because of your worry for me?" Esgaron shook his head. "I hate that it affects you too. As if it were not enough for me alone."

"Partly," Maglor acknowledged, "But I seldom sleep well in any case, as you know."

"I know you rest better next to me. And... I do not doubt sleep will take me at some point. But I fear what dreams will come after such a day. And what worry they will cause everyone else," Esgaron sighed.

"I do. You chase away the shadows, love. You cannot help your dreams... or your nightmares. Your sister knows that. Your nephews I am sure will also understand," Maglor said. 

Esgaron went quiet for a while, gaze steady on the horizon. "...would it be too much to ask if you had a song that could take dreams away?" he asked.

Maglor, meanwhile, was content to simply _be,_ listening to the world and waiting. He blinked at Esgaron's question. "I do not know... I have never tried that before." 

"Would you try?" Esgaron asked. "It was one thing where the sea left _me_ hurt and broken. The effects should not have to hurt anyone else. Especially not those who care about me."

"I will," Maglor agreed and nodded. "If it helps you rest, we will at least know that it will work for the next time there is such a storm, and if not... well. No harm done."

"Yes, I suppose so. Some things just should not need to be seen by others," Esgaron said.

Maglor thought privately that it might be better if Esgaron had the comfort of family, but he said nothing about it, pleased that he was trusted so, at least, and only nodded. "Then when our watch is over, I will try," Maglor promised.

"Thank you." Esgaron watched the horizon, but every now and again he glanced upward into the sky. "...I think one of the worst things of rain is that you cannot see the stars when it falls."

Maglor let himself drop a little into the Song, to listen more than watch the world around them, but his arms hugged Esgaron closely. "But they are still there, even so. Behind the clouds - forever unquenched and unconquered," he said.

"I know. But, it does not help. They bring me a measure of comfort to see them. But I cannot see through the clouds." A long sigh escaped Esgaron's lips. "...how much longer before we want to rouse the twins?"

"Take comfort in knowing they are still there, my love. The clouds will clear, in time." Maglor eyed the rain and did the calculations in his head. "A little longer, I think. We must be getting close to midnight, by now."

"Hmm." For a while, Esgaron seemed lost in thought. "Was this what it was like when you found me, Cano? A vigil such as this?" he asked.

"A little." Maglor nodded, his voice quiet. "Although it did not rain as much. But yes - the waiting was the same."

"What all did you do while waiting for me to wake up?" Esgaron wondered.

"Not much - I kept watch and sang the prayers of healing that I remembered, and hoped, while I set fishing lines and waited to see what the morning would bring," Maglor explained. 

"Did I make you wait long? I... I remember nothing before the cave. No... That is not entirely true. I remember pain. Some of it sharp and bright, some of it dull and pulsing. But the how and the why..." Esgaron shrugged. "The lightning. It reminds me of it. Like I had been filled with lightning."

Maglor shrugged a little himself. "Perhaps? I do not count it so. I waited until you woke or passed - and I would have done so for as long as it took." He hugged Esgaron a little closer at the memory. "Oh, love. I wonder if you were struck out there in the sea. I suppose we will never know - not that it matters. You are here now, and that is well."

"I would like to think it was the kinder. But that is hard to say. I do not doubt there are those wishing it had been otherwise," Esgaron said. "I do wonder if I am so terribly different now, but... I worry to ask those who knew me. But, midnight approaches, I believe. We should rouse the twins."

"Maybe. I did not know you before, and cannot say. But if your sister's actions are any judge, I think you have not lost the important parts of who you are." Maglor looked up but the clouds blocked the moon enough that he could not use it as a reliable judge, but still... "Yes, I think so. We can do that and I will try and sing you rest."

"Thank you." Esgaron gave Maglor a gentle kiss before getting up and crossing over to where the twins were resting. He paused a moment, just watching them, studying their faces in rest, both the dark-haired twins and their mother beside them. But he eventually shook his head. Carefully, he nudged the shoulder of the closest twin. "Midnight approaches, nephews. The next watch is yours."

The _peredhil_ twins greeted him with a low grumbling whine, but the eyes that opened were alert and clear and they grinned up at Esgaron, although they kept their voices low.

"Already?" one asked.

"Five more minutes," pleaded the other.

"Don't be lazy," his brother scolded.

"Rest well Uncle E.!"

"You too, Uncle M.!"

"Good watch, nephews." Maglor nodded to them from where he was standing at the entrance and turned to come to Esgaron. "Come here, love, and we will see if we can get some rest."

"May your watch be peaceful," Esgaron told the twins. He nodded nervously as Maglor came over. "I hope we can." He found a spot at the back of the cave, dry and away from where Celebrían still rested. There, he curled up with Maglor, bright head tucked into its familiar spot on Maglor's shoulder. "...I hope so..."

"As do I, love." Maglor wrapped his arms around him and pressed a kiss to golden hair, holding him close as he cast his mind back to try and remember the old spells, the ones used to calm brothers and fosterlings long ago. Softly, softly, he began to sing, a song without words. Maglor sang the shush of falling snow, and the velvet curtain of night, studded with stars. He kept his voice low and for Esgaron alone, and poured as much of himself as he knew how into it.

Grey eyes closed, lids made heavy by the song, but sleep did not come easily to Esgaron. Several times, after only a matter of minutes, did Esgaron jerk awake, eyes wide with terror, a silent scream on his lips. He tried to settle, to let the song lull him. The time between wakings steadily lengthened, and eventually he stopped waking up. However, he continued to tremble and whimper, knuckles white as they clutched desperately at Maglor's shirt. It was a long, long time before his grip loosened and his breathing evened out and at last he was _still._

Maglor curled as close around him as he could, singing softly and trying to convey peace and comfort, reaching back to his childhood in Valinor, when things were bright still, and they only knew joy. He would sing through the night, for as long as he could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 0\. Hope that was worth the wait! Next stop: Imladris! And characters that we authors don't normally write! See if you can guess who is writing whom!  
> 1\. Also, join us in celebrating the _one-year anniversary_ of starting this thread! August 20th, 2014 was when it all started, and, over 1500 tags later, we're likely to keep it going for a while yet! Feel free to leave comments or ask questions or just happy thoughts as we celebrate this milestone! Thanks for joining us on this adventure!


	13. At Salvation's Edge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At long last, they arrive in the hidden valley.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 0\. Not really any warnings to be had here.  
> 1\. Yay, new characters! Can you guess who's being handled by which author?

It was not long before dawn when Esgaron was finally soundly asleep. He was so weary after the storms, he would not wake easily come daybreak. But even deeply asleep, he clung close to Maglor, snuggled into his side. Maglor would sing for him all night, curled close around him, music softly echoing in his ears as if to wrap him in song and push away the world. He only stopped when the rest of the camp stirred. With the twins having taken the second watch, it was Celebrían who roused and came to see if Maglor and Esgaron were up. She paused to see her brother so soundly asleep.

"He still looks exhausted. Was the night so long?" she asked.

"It was, a little," Maglor admitted tiredly, "I think, if you do not mind, I might let him rest a little longer."

"Because he needs it? Or you do?" she asked shrewdly. Yes, she saw the weariness in Maglor's face. Very gently, she tucked a stray strand of golden hair back behind Esgaron's ear. "Poor thing. We will soon bring you to Imladris, and there you can rest and heal, sweet brother."

"A little of both," Maglor admitted. He had stayed up longer without sleep, but winding comfort in song, he spent himself and that was tiring. "I think we will both be glad to see the Valley."

"Is there anything we could do for you between now and then?" she offered, "I am not as strong as my husband in healing and comfort, but..."

Maglor considered thoughtfully before he shook his head a little. "I would not mind a meal, Celebrían, but I think I just need a bit of rest, myself," he said.

"Here." She fetched some cold rations, enough for both Maglor and Esgaron. "I fear we have nothing else for the nonce that would be much of a breakfast, so I hope it will do."

Maglor smiled thankfully at her. "It is enough, and plenty, Celebrían, thank you."

She, however, was quiet, studying her brother's face. "...was it the storm?" she asked at last. Her voice was hushed.

Maglor hesitated before nodding. "Yes."

Celebrían bit her lip anxiously. "I... I did not know it would affect him so. Was... was he very frightened?"

Maglor brushed his hand through golden strands and nodded a little more. He knew Esgaron did not want to worry his family, but Celebrían was his twin and undoubtedly already knew something was wrong. And he could not hide how his lover slept now, exhausted and worn. "He... does not do well, with storms. Too much, I think, like the night he... well."

"...the night he got his scar?" Celebrían supplied. Sympathetically, almost absently, she brushed her fingers along the side of her head, mimicking the line of her brother's scar. "And yet, he insisted we ride through the rain... He is still valiant, my brother," she said. 

"Mm." Maglor nodded again. "He is. He did not wish to worry you."

"I will have the boys scout ahead to see what the crossing situation looks like. He can rest until then." She moved over to where her sons were. "Boys, now that the rain has stopped, I need you to ride ahead and see if our crossing point is good."

Twin dark heads turned and they waved in acknowledgement.

"Sure, _Naneth,_ " said one twin.

"Did you want us to go now?" asked his brother.

"Yes, please, son. The sooner you report back, the sooner we can get to Imladris," Celebrían instructed.

"Alright - c'mon 'Roh!" Elladan called.

"See you soon, _nana._ " They came over to press farewell kisses to her and snagged cloaks, and, waving goodbye to Maglor, they headed out the entrance. Maglor waved back to the twins. 

She returned to sit near Maglor and Esgaron once her children had been sent off. "Seeing you both so weary is worrying. It cannot be helped. Motherly instinct, I suppose, even if he is my brother," Celebrían mused.

"I will be well." Maglor then smiled at Celebrían. "One night without sleep is hardly the worst I have endured," he assured her. He looked down at Esgaron. "And... Esgaron will be all right. But the sooner we get to Imladris the better, I suppose. I do not know if such wounds can be healed, but... I will feel better, if a healer has a proper look at him."

"It is still more than you should have to. But, I understand. You do it for him. I am sure Elrond will look at him, heal whatever he can," she said. Suddenly, she frowned. "...his mind is silent. No dreams. Nothing at all. Why?"

Maglor blinked in surprise and looked down at the golden head in his arms. "He... asked me if I knew songs which would silence his dreams. I do not, but I said that I would try - I have been singing to him all night," he explained.

"No wonder you are weary!" she gasped. "It took that long to get him to sleep? To have such dreams to want them silenced... You said it is not usually so bad?"

"It has not been so in a long time," Maglor told her with a nod. "He does still have nightmares but... very rarely, and not usually enough to cause him this much upset."

"...how much did he suffer? Do you think he will be able to handle the crossings?" Celebrían's face was anxious.

"That question I think you would have to ask him, if he will deign to speak of it. And he will be fine with the crossing, I think, provided the rain holds off," he said.

"I worry for him, you know. What happened in those waters... I shudder to think. And I spent many long years dwelling by the seaside. I know he tries to not let me see, and much I cannot, but..." She shook her head. "With luck, Elrond's talents will help him. Until then, give him whatever comfort you can. Whatever he needs. He does sleep well in your arms."

"I would be more concerned if you did not, for all he wishes to spare you!" Maglor quipped. He smiled wryly. "He is so bright and loving - little surprise I fell for him, I suppose. I hope so, aye. And I will do what I can."

"Sisterly duty, I suppose!" Laughter lingered around her lips. "Ah, I wish you could have seen him in younger days. When he was brighter still. He would never admit it himself, but you are far from the first to fall for him. Everywhere he went, he gained more than a few admirers. Somehow, he never seemed to notice."

"I can believe it." Maglor nodded. "So bright he burns, many must have been drawn to his light."

"Surely you noticed yourself among the Silvan, how they flocked to him," Celebrían reminded him.

"I noticed," Maglor agreed wryly.

"You know, we were born on the darkest part of the year. When the last sun of autumn and first moon of winter appeared together. Not begotten, no, for we came into the world early, as twins are wont to do. But our mother used to say we were her lights coming back into the world when it was needed most," Celebrían mused.

Maglor gave her a quiet smile. "Truly? Her Arien and Tilion then, the two of you."

She laughed a little. "In a way! But that was how she explained things to two little Elf-children who did not understand why their birth and begetting days were six weeks apart. Having borne twins myself, I understand it much more clearly now. I am the elder of us two, if only by a short time. He was always the larger of us two, and his birth the more difficult. But he never minded the difference, always there to take care of his sister," she said. "And we are precious to our father as well. It could be argued he favored me, born so small and silver that from the first moment, he never wanted to let me out of his arms. But Amroth... He has seen little of his son since the founding of Imladris. Visits, yes, but they have lived apart since we left Ost-in-Edhil. When news came of Amroth's loss... He was devastated more than the rest of us. He feared he had failed him. That his absence led to Amroth's misfortune. He spent weeks searching the shores, hoping for a sign of him, until we asked him to stop because Lothlórien needed him more. And now for you to have found him..." She shook her head. "It makes it that much more difficult."

"Yes, I can imagine it would have." Maglor sighed softly. "Everything I do would upset him, no doubt, but this... He will not hear it from me, but I am sorry to grieve him, Celebrían. I am not sorry I found your brother, nor that I love him, but I am sorry that it hurts your father. Again."

"...you should know... Our parents also know that I made this journey, and, yes, it was hoped that I would bring my brother back with me. Bring him home. They... may come to Imladris in hopes of seeing him. Whether they will be willing to see _you,_ I cannot say. Just as long as you appreciate how complex the situation is," she warned. "It would be my hope that for Amroth's sake, our father will lay aside his animosities and behave civilly, with gratitude and joy to have him at all, but it seems... unlikely, unless our mother can sway him. I believe she would want to speak with you. At least to recognize what you have done."

Maglor sighed again, dropping his head. "I am not surprised," he admitted. "In truth I was expecting Celeborn, and not you, at the door. I do not expect him to forgive me. I do not even expect him to _accept_ me, except that it will hurt Esgaron if we do not at least make some sort of play at politeness. But if your mother can bring herself to face me, after all the times I hurt her, I will not turn her away."

She looked surprised. "You were expecting my father? Why?" 

Maglor shrugged wryly, careful not to dislodge Esgaron. "Essentially for very much the same reasons you outlined, minus much of the detail. I... have been a father, or something like one. I would not... wish the pain of separation on him. But equally so... I am also the murderer of his family, and his king. Not necessarily me directly, of course, as I never got close to Dior, but the only being that he can still attach such thoughts to now. I truly expected him to show up, demanding that I return to him his most priceless treasure," he explained.

Her lips pursed thoughtfully. "I cannot say what my mother intends to say to you, if anything. I am not even certain they will come at all. But I do not doubt that Elrond will welcome you. Obviously the twins are already fond of you. He loves you." She gestured at Esgaron, still asleep in Maglor's arms. "Surely you cannot be all bad, if that is true."

Maglor ducked his head shyly. "I... what embers of light you see, are things that your brother nurtured. Without him... I do not know."

"...but now, he is _your_ most priceless treasure," Celebrían said, "And he makes you a better person, it seems. I just hope my father lets wisdom prevail, not anger. We want what is best for Amroth. Right now... That seems to be you."

"Yes." Maglor nodded, brushing a hand lightly through golden locks. "He is, and he does. I... would pray for that, but my prayers, as you know, fall on deaf ears."

"My ears are not deaf, Maglor. Nor my voice silenced. And perhaps I can help with the prayers," Celebrían offered. "I hope my brother is able to rest as he needs to. I expect my sons will not be gone all that much longer."

It was some time later when Esgaron began to stir at last. He shifted and nuzzled sleepily against Maglor's shoulder. "Mmm, Cano...?" he murmured vaguely.

And, sure enough, it wasn't much longer before there was a clatter and the twins could be heard calling, " _Naneth!_ Uncles! Sun is shining, and the way is clear!"

Maglor brushed his hand through Esgaron's hair fondly as he woke. "Good morning, love; the twins have scouted the way for us, and there is food for breakfast, if you are hungry," he offered.

Meanwhile, Celebrían greeted her sons with delight. "Wonderful news, my sons! The crossings are good? Your dear uncle need not worry about getting wet between here and Imladris?"

For a moment, Esgaron just stared blankly at Maglor, and then equally blankly at the food. "Oh." He nibbled absently, as if waiting for his mind to properly wake up.

The twins nodded, waving at Maglor and Esgaron before coming to sit with Celebrían. 

"Yes."  
"The river is still high--"  
"But it is already dropping."  
"The skies are blue."  
"Not a cloud to be seen!"  
"We should probably take the bridge--"  
"Just to be safe--"  
"But it should be all dry by midday."

Maglor hugged Esgaron and listened to the twins, keeping his voice low and using their chatter as camouflage. "I hope you had some rest last night, love," he murmured.

Esgaron nodded vaguely. "I... think so... My mind feels so... empty. I do not remember..."

Maglor's arms tightened in worry. "That... I hope that is not my fault. I do not think... I was only trying to help you rest. I hope I did not accidentally do anything untoward."

"I am glad to hear it. Come, let us start getting ready," Celebrían was saying, "But... do not ask your uncles to help. It seems they had a difficult night. I would allow them leisure."

"All right~" the twins chorused. They obediently headed over to her, but they could not quite stop the worried glances at their uncles.

Esgaron didn't even seem to notice the twins' glances. But he offered a smile to Maglor as the vacant expression faded slowly from his eyes. "Just... slow to wake. I think. We... are going to the valley? Will we reach it today?" he asked.

Celebrían worked to collect the clothing left to dry. It was still a bit damp, but better than it was. "Do you two want something to eat before we go?" she asked, "The ashes are cold, but we still have rations..."

"Perhaps? I think we are still a few days out but it has been long since I came this way. We can ask your sister?" Maglor relaxed a little as Esgaron's eyes cleared, although he still worried a little. He lifted his head when Celebrían called and nudged Esgaron. "Still hungry, love?" he asked.

"We're fine." Elladan spoke for both twins. "We can nibble later."

"Are we starting out now?" Elrohir queried.

"Just as soon as your uncles are ready!" Celebrían announced. She bustled about, ensuring nothing was left behind. "Help me prepare the horses, will you?"

Esgaron shook his head. "No, I am all right. I think they are waiting on us," he said. Carefully, he got to his feet, his balance just a tiny bit shaky, and he leaned on Maglor for support.

"All right." Maglor helped him up, letting him lean on him as much as he needed. "We can leave whenever you are ready, Celebrían."

"Of course!" The twins headed over to their mother, both of them taking turns to keep an eye on their uncles. 

Esgaron collected his extra clothes, but otherwise quietly followed Maglor around. "Are we being watched, Cano?" he asked quietly.

"Mm, a little," Maglor admitted, "The twins, I think, are a little worried about how you were sleeping so deeply this morning when they went out to scout. Come - I think they will be content with seeing you up and riding. Will you ride in front or at the back today?"

With their shelter cleaned up, everything gathered, Celebrían headed over to the horses and made sure they were ready. "To Imladris! We should arrive very soon!" she called out.

Both the twins grined at each other at that, Elladan swinging up with Elrohir behind him that day. "Almost home!" they chorused.

"Ah. I did not think I slept so deeply," Esgaron muttered. He followed Maglor to their horse. "...I think it might be better if I am in front. I get your arms around me, and should any meet us on the road in, I think my obvious presence will be less alarming than yours."

"All right." Maglor smiled back at him and wrapped his arms around him when they were both mounted.

"Everyone ready?" Celebrían asked as she mounted her horse. "We make for the bridge up river. Follow me." She spurred her mare into a trot, following the bank.

"I could get used to this," Maglor teased gently, affectionately, resting against Esgaron's back.

"Coming~" called the twins. They shoved each other a little affectionately before settling, both obviously pleased that Esgaron seemed better, and they followed Celebrían happily, pleased to be going home again.

Esgaron clasped Maglor's arms close to him. "Just do not let go." He steadily followed the twins and Celebrían, an admittedly cautious rider.

"I won't." Maglor pressed a kiss against Esgaron's neck fondly, and rested against him the whole way. 

With everyone in line, Celebrían led the way, over the rivers, through the passes, until they soon came to the hidden valley. The complex of Imladris sprawled elegantly through it. "There we are. Home at last," she announced with a happy sigh.

When they rode into Imladris, Maglor went still, quiet and uncertain at the borders, and the sight of the House drew an appreciative sigh of wonder. "Oh, but it is beautiful," he breathed into Esgaron's hair.

Esgaron gazed quietly over the sight. "Hopefully it is large enough our presence will go unnoticed..."

"At least at first, I think we might pass mostly unnoticed," Maglor murmured softly, pressed close, and he discreetly tucked away the Star. "But we have already been marked by the border patrols, so we shall see."

Once they crossed the borders, the twins were obviously eager, begging Celebrían for leave to be allowed to speed up.

" _Please,_ may we?"  
"We promise, we won't say anything!"  
"We just want to get back before dinner!"

"Boys, I will have you go find Erestor. Let him know about our guests, so he can lead them to one of the lesser-used entrances. Then Lindir, so he can ensure our guests have their comforts along with proper discretion. I will go and find your father," Celebrían instructed instead. She looked back at Maglor and Esgaron. "Wait here for now. We will do our best to give you a quiet welcome."

"Yes, _nana!_ " There was a whoop, and Elrohir called out as Elladan leans forward to urge their horse to a gallop, "See you back at the house!"

Celebrían rode in with considerably more dignity and gravitas than her sons. After all, she was the Lady of Imladris. She wasted no time in seeking out her husband to explain the situation to him, greeting kindly those who met her along the way. Someone, surely either Erestor or Captain Glorfindel would escort her guests in quietly.

Esgaron watched them leave. "I wonder how many eyes are on us this very moment? I do not think they would permit us to just go in by ourselves. Not when their Lady has asked us to wait," he said. He nuzzled gently over his shoulder. "I am glad you are with me, in any case."

"I am not sure - I saw at least two guards, but I am sure they have Silvan and Sindar as well as Noldor here, and the wood-elves are _very_ good at blending into the treesong - I cannot always tell if they are there," Maglor said. He nuzzled back fondly and then sat up a little as someone familiar came around the corner.

That someone was Erestor on his placid brown, and he bowed politely to both of them. "Welcome to Imladris, my lords - I have been instructed to do my best to see you both settled and left in peace away from gawkers." He shot a glare into one of the nearby trees at that and was rewarded by someone rapidly retreating. "There are some small rooms at the back of the family quarters that I hope might suit, if you would follow me."

Esgaron did not recognize the Elf greeting them, but he nodded politely back. "Thank you. If you feel that is best, then we shall take it gladly. Lead the way." He nudged the mare gently to follow Erestor's mount toward the entrance.

"This way then, lords." Erestor nodded politely as well, although he addressed himself almost entirely to Esgaron, and led them to the stables, and from there to a small suite just off the family rooms. "We have been instructed to keep things quiet, but as you know, Elves gossip. But if there is any trouble, you may ask for me, and I will do what I can. My lord Elrond will likely invite you to the evening meal, but do not feel obliged to attend - the welcome feasts are quite loud and noisy, and the family will gather afterwards in peace, which might suit you better."

Esgaron nodded again. "Thank you. Though the fewer who see us, the better," he said.

Maglor stayed silent, following quietly, and he only truly relaxed when Erestor bowed to them both, locking eyes briefly with he who was once one of his lords and then leaving. "And that," he murmured softly to Esgaron, wrapping him in his arms, "was Erestor, who is as efficient as ever, I see."

Esgaron almost melted into Maglor's arms once Erestor left. "Good to know." A long sigh escaped his lips. "We made it after all..."

"So we did." Maglor buried his face in Esgaron's hair and huffed softly. "I am glad we got here safely. And I must agree - I think we might avoid the welcome feast for the quieter family meeting afterwards."

"After the excitement during the journey, I think some quiet is welcome," Esgaron agreed. He just stayed close and cuddled with his beloved. "I am sure Elrond will mean well if we are invited, but I am not sure our presence will go over well at the main banquet. I agree the family would be better. And, perhaps, we can eat sometimes just the two of us. Have something brought perhaps..."

"I, too." Maglor was only too happy to cuddle back. "I do not think that will be hard - perhaps when whoever it is who comes to invite us for the meal comes we can ask for a tray to be sent to the room? That way we can stay in here until later."

"That would be nice..." Esgaron said softly.

"Then we shall ask," Maglor promised.

Moments later, there was a knock on the door. It turned out to be Lindir. 

"Pardon me, but Lord Elrond has sent me to ensure you are settling in well. Is there anything you need?" he asked, admittedly looking a bit askance at the both of them.

Maglor bowed politely to Lindir. "Bring our thanks for his welcome to Lord Elrond. I am well, and we would only beg that our meal be brought here for we are both of us weary from the long journey." He crooked an eyebrow at Esgaron in query.

Esgaron nodded in agreement. "We are well, thank you. Just in need of some rest and quiet after coming so far. Send our regrets that we will not be joining Lord Elrond for meals tonight."

Lindir looked just a little bit skeptical, but he nodded and bowed, and, well, he did seem a little relieved he was not going to have to deal with potential trouble in the banquet halls. "As you wish, my lords. I will see it done." And he left them in peace.

"There," Maglor sighed in relief, "We have bought ourselves some time to rest. Do you wish to have a wash, love? Or do you need to rest?"

Esgaron gave another long sigh. "I... suppose..." He bit at his lip. "...would you do it, Cano? I trust you to keep me calm."

"Of course, love," Maglor agreed immediately. "I am guessing that rooms set aside like this will probably have private bathing rooms too, shall we look?"

"With luck, we will find something." Esgaron poked around idly until he opened a door that seemed to lead to a cozy washing area. "I suppose this will do. What do you think, Cano?"

Maglor smiled a little and nodded. "Yes, I think so. Here, I will light the fire and get the water warmed up for you, love."

"All right. I suppose I should start undressing then. Unless you want help?" Esgaron asked.

"No." Maglor leaned over to snare a kiss. "If the Imladris fires are anything like what Elrond must surely remember of the old forts, he will managed to find a way for a small fire to heat water for a long time, so I should not be long. I know you struggle by yourself, but this tub looks large enough for us both, if you like."

Esgaron let his lips linger against Maglor's as long as he could in the quickly-snatched kiss. "Very well, Cano. I would like you with me." He moved to strip out of his clothes, stained with travel and rain.

"Then I will hurry," Maglor promised, and hurried off to do exactly that, making sure to get the neat fire started and built to burn steadily for a while before returning to strip his own clothes. "They are using coal rather than wood - I am guessing they have regular trade with the dwarves, for that."

Esgaron shrugged as he slipped out of his clothes. "I suppose so..." Once undressed, he headed back into the warm room, but despite the heat, he shivered.

"Here I am, love." Maglor hurried back and hugged Esgaron before starting to strip. "Will you be well?"

Esgaron clung a little, letting go only reluctantly, but he did nod. "I have you with me. I think I will." He put on his bravest face, but he was still rattled from the storm and it showed in the caution he had near the running water.

"I will be with you the whole time, love, I promise," Maglor reassured him, "We can take our time."

"Thank you, Cano." Esgaron gave him another hug and a quick kiss. He waited for Maglor to finish getting ready, and followed him into the water, slowly, eyes closed. He stayed as close to his beloved as he could, taking comfort in Maglor's presence, his touch, his voice.

"I am here for you, love." Maglor stayed close, offering as much comfort as he could.

"I know." Esgaron leaned against Maglor. "I am glad you are with me."

Maglor wrapped his arms around Esgaron and nuzzled him fondly. "Thank you for doing this for me, love."

"You mean coming here to Imladris? I..." Esgaron sighed and relaxed as best he was able to in Maglor's arms. "...you are welcome, Cano." He took solace in Maglor's touch, the easy rhythm of water trickling and splashing as Maglor gently washed him clean of the grime accumulated on their journey. It did calm him, in a way, and he was grateful for Maglor's tenderness. "You have always taken good care of me. I should have trusted you more readily."

"That, yes. And this, also. Trusting me." Maglor pressed a kiss against golden hair as he helped Esgaron wash. "I try, but you know my history. To have your love and trust is something I never thought possible."

Esgaron laid his head on Maglor's shoulder, safe in his arms. "My recovery would have been much more difficult had I not trusted you, Cano. And you have never shown me anything except your kindness and love. Kissing you was perhaps one of the better decisions I have made." For a little while, he just rested there, letting Maglor finish cleaning him. "...do you want help washing, Cano?" he offered at last.

"I would not mind a hand, love." Maglor nuzzled against him fondly. "Especially with my hair - it has tangled terribly, I fear."

"I suppose it was too much to hope that the braids I gave you would survive the storm," Esgaron sighed, "But I will do what I can to help." He shifted position so he could work on Maglor, focusing on the task at hand so as not to think too much about the water. Gently, he undid the tangles in his beloved's hair. Every now and again he dropped a soft kiss against Maglor's neck or shoulder, not meant to arouse, just little tokens of love and reassurance. 

"Some of them did - but it was a very impressive storm." Maglor hummed happily at Esgaron's attentions and was half drowsing before long, simply enjoying being together. 

Esgaron worked quickly but gently, and then nuzzled softly. "...we should probably not linger, Cano, or it will get cold... Do you want to rest?"

"True." Maglor yawned a little as he roused to Esgaron's voice, turning to steal a kiss. "And yes - let us do that and then we can rest. Tomorrow is soon enough to worry about other things."

"Come, then, Cano." Together, they got out carefully. Esgaron was quick to dry off, and found some fresh clothes in their room that were comfortable to rest in. Dressed again, in a loose-fitting cream-colored ensemble, he curled up on the bed, looking most inviting for cuddles.

Maglor was quick to follow suit, although he paused a moment to admire the sight of Esgaron before curling up next to him. "Do you need me to sing for you tonight, love, or will you be all right?" he asked.

Esgaron leaned against Maglor. "I would hear you sing. Just for comfort. Not for dreamless sleep." 

"Do you have anything you would like me to... hm?" Maglor asked. Just then, there was a knock at the door, interrupting him.

"Hmm?" Esgaron sat up a little, but was still cuddled up with Maglor. "Come in."

The door opened. Supper had been brought for them. Not by Lindir, but by Elrond himself, wanting to check on his guests himself, considering they were of personal importance to him. If he had any judgment about seeing his brother-in-law wrapped in his foster father's arms, he kept it to himself. Maglor went stock still when the door opened to reveal Elrond, watching his fosterling with hungry eyes that never thought to see that face again, although he went quiet and pale and did not speak. 

"You were missed at supper. Lindir said you wished to have your meals brought, and I wished to see how you were settling in," Elrond said.

Esgaron's face was blank of any recognition, and he looked to Maglor. Elrond was dismayed by Amroth's lack of reaction, but only the worried look in his eyes betrayed that. 

Maglor shook his head slightly when Elrond looked to him, gathering himself enough to sit upright and bow, dropping his eyes. "We do well, thank you for your kindness, my lord Elrond. I fear us both very wearied from the journey, else we would have joined you at supper."

 _Wretch,_ Maglor berated himself, _Must you be so formal?_ But he could not voice the many words he wanted to say instead, indeed, did not even know how to start.

 _I missed you, I love you, I am sorry._ All caught in his throat, unspoken.

There was much that Elrond wished to say as well, seeing his long-missing foster father, his brother-in-law returned from being presumed dead... Two people he never expected to see in Imladris, and yet, here they were. But now did not seem to be the right time. "Of course, I understand," he said kindly. Instead, Elrond turned his attention on Amroth, who was still looking questioningly at his beloved. "And you, Amroth? I understand you have been through much. How are you feeling?"

Esgaron almost didn't respond to the sound of his old name, until a few moments had passed, and then he straightened, looking a little embarrassed. "I... yes. As Cano said, we are both weary from travel. We were just settling in to get some rest."

The worry in Elrond's expression deepened when Amroth seemed to forget his own name, and he raised an eyebrow slightly to hear him address Maglor so. He hadn't heard the name "Cano" since he was a child. "Ah, I see. My wife informs me that you have some injuries you would like examined. Perhaps they can wait until morning. I will leave you to your rest, but do let me know if there is anything you need," Elrond told them with a gracious bow.

"Thank you." Esgaron snuggled a little more deeply into Maglor's side, not really caring if Elrond was watching.

Maglor automatically held him close, dropping a kiss to golden hair and explained, "He picked a new name, my lord. He is Esgaron now. When I found him, he was badly injured, and still recalls very little of his past. But we would both appreciate it being put off 'til morning, yes."

Elrond nodded. "Very well. I shall leave you to your rest and return in the morning." He closed the door behind him as he left them in peace, the dinner trays placed on a small table.

"Good night, my lord," Maglor said softly, watching him go. 

_Good night, my son._

Esgaron sighed softly. "I am making him worry."

"Elrond always worries." Maglor smiled at Esgaron fondly. "Even when he was young, he worried about everything. I do not think he knows how to _not_ worry. It is only because he cares so deeply."

Esgaron bit his lip. "I... I do not know him, Cano. He knew. I think it upset him." A mirthless chuckle broke upon his lips. "I can only imagine what he will think when he sees my scars."

"He _is_ married to your twin, Esgaron," Maglor pointed out, holding him close, "I do not know how _well_ he knows you, but he must be at least on friendly terms. I would be more surprised if it did not upset him - and you need not fear that it will impact his work. He is a healer, Esgaron. The best in Middle-earth, they say. I am sure your scars will not bother him, although they probably will upset him a little." He kissed the side of Esgaron's head. "But he gets upset because he cares, love. The same as Celebrían, the same as the Twins, the same, sometimes, as me. Because it means someone we love has been hurt."

"It is not my intent to upset anyone. Especially not you, Cano. Never you." Esgaron rested his head against Maglor's shoulder. "...you are still happy we came, are you not?"

"I know, as do all your family." Maglor reached up to card through golden hair. "I am, yes." He breathed out his joy. "Even thought the reason we are here is sad... to see Elrond grown, a lord in his own right... I am so very happy."

Esgaron went quiet for a while. "...he left food for us. Do you want to eat?" he asked.

Maglor curled around Esgaron in the quiet and contented himself with listening to him breathe, drifting off a little until he was spoken to. "Hm? Ah... yes, we should, I think. Are you hungry, love?"

Esgaron shook his head. "No. But you should eat if you are, Cano." He pulled into himself somewhat, but gave Maglor room to get up to get food.

Maglor got up, but only went so far as to bring the trays over to them and he leaned against Esgaron fondly. "All right, but will you at least break your fast with me tonight, love?"

Esgaron leaned back, but looked blankly at the food on the tray, all of it vegetarian. "You go first, Cano. Eat as much as you want."

Maglor looked at him worriedly although he did start picking his way through the meal. "Are you sure, love? You don't look well."

"I am certain, Cano. Please. Eat your fill. I will be all right. That is why we have come, after all. To fix me."

Maglor stopped and turned to catch Esgaron's hands in his own, looking at him worriedly. "I've said something wrong and hurt you. What is it, love?" he asked.

"No... no, Cano, it is not you... I just..." Esgaron sighed. "...I suppose I am just afraid. Silly reasons, I am sure. I should trust you, and I do, for you have always meant well for me, but... I do not know what will happen to me when Elrond attempts to heal me. Who will I be afterward? Amroth? Esgaron? I cannot say." He hesitated. "And... and there is a part of me that fears... you do not love me truly as I am. That I must first be fixed. And if you _do_ and I am changed... if you will love me still."

"No! No, never believe that." Maglor shook his head, moving to kneel before him. "I love you, Esgaron - as you are, as you were, as you will be. I want you well for your sake - I hate seeing you struggle at night and in the storms, but I love you even so. I told you I would stay until you sent me away, and I meant it."

Esgaron reached out to run a stray lock of Maglor's hair through his fingers. "How could I send you away, Cano?" He let the raven lock drop softly. "As I said. Silly fears. But I hear whispers in my dreams, and I do not remember what they say, but they leave doubt in their wake. I feel weak. A coward. But I do not know how to silence them."

Maglor leaned briefly into that hand. "I always fear it, I think. That everyone will send me away or leave me, in one way or other. And mine are no more silly than yours. Does that not make me just as much a coward? I wish I could give you peace."

"I know. As I wish I could for you. If you can be my strength, I will try to be your solace. There is always comfort in your song, my Cano," Esgaron said.

"You will have it, my love, for as long as you need or want it," Maglor promised. He brought Esgaron's hands up to press a kiss to them.

Esgaron kissed Maglor's brow. "I just want you with me tonight."

"That, my love, you have, and gladly."

"Thank you, Cano. But you should still eat. Do not go hungry on my account," Esgaron said, gesturing vaguely toward the meal.

"All right. You are sure you do not want anything, love?" Maglor asked.

"Mmm. I am certain. All that I want is for you to hold me tonight," Esgaron replied.

Maglor nodded and ate quickly before coming to curl beside Esgaron, pressing a gentle kiss to his temple. "Here I am, love."

Esgaron sighed softly, snuggling up into Maglor's arms. "Thank you..." he said. "I almost feel spoiled. Sheets rather than furs. But it could be cold, hard ground, and I would be at peace in your arms."

"They are a luxury I had all but forgotten." Maglor wrapped his arms around his lover and nuzzled close. "And one I suppose we should enjoy, while we are here! Although our own bed has comforts of its own, hm? Shall I sing for you tonight, love?" he offered.

"Ours does, yes... Made by our hands and the creatures we have hunted. Still... Perhaps we can get some on the way home, if you would like." Esgaron nestled in close. "Would you, please?"

Maglor curled his arms around Esgaron and rested his cheek against his hair.

"Of course, love." And he began to sing an old air.

" _Hush now, can you hear the north wind blowing?_  
_Over and around and under the trees_  
_But here in your arms I am safe and warm_  
_Over and around and under the trees_  
_Outside the wind blows and the rain is falling_  
_Over and around and under the trees_  
_But here in your arms we are safe from harm._ "

Esgaron shivered a little, but he eventually fell asleep in Maglor's warm embrace. He slept better than he did the night after the storm, not waking up with nightmares, being more still, but he did cling to Maglor in his sleep, arms wrapped around him tightly.


	14. Shattered, Torn, Remade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Esgaron undergoes healing, but it seems he has to suffer more before he can really get better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 0\. Some potential medical squick.  
> 1\. Esgaron is a terrible patient sometimes.  
> 2\. Hey, culture lovers! We've got some fantastic poetry in this chapter! Can you recognize the sources?

Esgaron was still deeply asleep when Elrond returned in the morning.

"I hope you were able to rest well," he said amiably. He noted that not all of the dinner the night before was eaten, and also how deep into slumber Esgaron still was. "Did one of you not eat?"

Maglor slept only when Esgaron did, and even then he only lightly dozed, waking when Elrond returned. He kept his voice low so as not to waken Esgaron. "Yes. He was not feeling very hungry last night - but it was very good, Elrond. Thank you for allowing this."

"You are both welcome here." Elrond said it with genuine warmth, but he cast a concerned look at the sleeping Elf. "Does he often skip meals? And sleep?"

"He still sleeps more often than I would have considered normal," Maglor murmured softly, "Particularly after he has been stressed. Food... rarely, but yes, sometimes."

Elrond's brow furrowed in concern. "Did he have much stress in coming here?" he asked.

Maglor hesitated, not wanting to break his lover's confidence, but Elrond was a healer, and must know, so... slowly, reluctantly, he admitted, "There was a storm, as you know, over the foothills as we came in. He... does not do well in such weather."

Elrond listened and nodded sympathetically. "Tell me about him and what has happened since you found him." He sensed Maglor's hesitance. "I only wish to help and heal him. After all... If I lose him, I lose my last brother, so to speak."

"Always the healer," Maglor said fondly and nodded, eyes gentling in understanding. "I found him washed up after a storm - I thought him dead, at first! But I patched the physical wounds and he mostly healed but... he has been able to remember nothing more than flashes of before."

Elrond looked at Esgaron, who was still asleep, but he shifted a little, the scarless side of his head against the pillow, and only bits of the jagged white line could be seen among the rumpled golden strands. "Can you tell me about his injuries?" Elrond asked.

"The worst you can see." Maglor ran a soothing hand through Esgaron's hair, near the scar, revealing the mark. "For a while, I thought he might never wake. Multiple contusions. He swallowed a considerable amount of sea water. Broken bones including a toe stripped of skin near to the bone. But all of those healed well. It is what I cannot see that worries me. For a long time, he could not sleep without nightmares, but he has never been able to remember what they were about. And his memory shows little sign of returning. He worries about that too, of course - what he will become if he remembers, what he might have tried to forget."

"I see. That explains his lack of recognition." Elrond's expression remained carefully neutral. "Of course, I will have to do a more thorough examination once he awakes to see what I can do." He turned his attention back to Maglor. "Is there anything else you would like to tell me?"

Maglor shook his head a little. "Not that immediately comes to mind. Not... in regards to Esgaron, anyway, as you already know that we wish to be wed but..."

 _C'mon, it isn't that hard,_ coached Celegorm. 

"I... to you... I... I am sorry, Elrond. For ... leaving you behind. For... letting you get attached in the first place. For not telling you I was alive."

There was only a brief hesitation before Elrond laid a hand over Maglor's. "I understand now why you did. I do not imagine it was any easier for you either. Though, I confess, I never could have foreseen any of _this._ " He gestured vaguely between Maglor and Esgaron. "That you and Amroth... And yet, it makes me glad, for it would grieve me terribly to be bereft of you both. You will both always find love and welcome here." Elrond looked at Esgaron. "I will have to wake him to examine him. From what you have told me, it may be better if he does not eat until after I am finished."

"You were always too kind, Elrond. But from the bottom of my heart, thank you." Maglor ducked his head a little shyly. "Yes. I did not... expect to love him. But now I do not wish to live without him. He... chose his new name by the sea. I do not know if he will ever be Amroth again even if he recovers his memories." He gave Elrond a nod. "You are the healer, Elrond - whatever you think is best." 

Elrond nodded. "He is a good and brave man. I first met him as an ally on the battlefield. He was fearsome there, but he has always been a fine friend for as long as I have been able to call him one. I admit one of the many benefits to wedding his sister was the privilege of naming him as a brother. I have not met anyone who knew him who did not love him."

He glanced back at Esgaron.  
"Though, since he seems to view me as a stranger for the nonce, perhaps it would be kinder if you were to wake him. And then, if you are hungry, you are welcome to seek breakfast in the family quarters. No doubt Celebrían and our children are finished by now. You... may not want to witness the session."

"Will it be bad?" Maglor said quietly, "I am not unfamiliar to the sick room, as you know. Or will it be easier if I am away?"

Elrond hesitated. "That will depend a great deal on him. What I find, and what needs to be done to fix it, if possible," he admitted, "But it could be painful for him. I... would not make you watch him in anguish."

Maglor nodded slowly, understanding, but... "I could not bear to know he hurt and not be there either. I could not help Nelyo. I would help Esgaron, if I can. I will leave if you deem it necessary, but I think I should stay, Elrond."

Elrond's brows knitted as he considered Maglor's request and finally he sighed. "I will leave that decision to him. If he asks you to stay, you will be welcome. If not... I will ask that you respect his wishes. I do not doubt your sincerity in wanting to help, but those in pain behave in unusual ways at times. We will not know what he wants until he tells us."

Maglor nodded. "I will abide by whatever decision he makes, to go or to stay." He looked down at Esgaron. "Should I wake him soon, or let him sleep, do you think?"

Elrond smiled faintly. "I would say you know his needs better than I right now. If you believe he needs more sleep, we can let him rest a while longer. Otherwise, by all means, wake him."

Maglor smiled shyly back at him, still gently carding through Esgaron's hair. "I would like to let him rest - he has been so tired - so... if you do not mind, I will let him sleep a little longer, and we will come and find you when he wakes."

Elrond nodded. "Of course." He started to move back toward the door, but paused to watch Maglor's gentle attention toward Esgaron. He remembered similar touches when he was still a child, soothing fingers in his hair, but this, while in some ways so familiar, was different in a thousand subtle ways.

"...you are well and truly in love with him." It wasn't a question, and though Elrond's tone was warm, it was shaded with many emotions, from fond amusement to bittersweet concern.

The smile Maglor shot Elrond was apologetic for the confusion he knew it must cause, but the affection in his eyes when he turned back was clear enough. "Yes," he said softly, "As I thought I could not love after Alqualondë. I am sorry it upsets you, Elrond. And especially sorry about how Lord Celeborn must feel. But I cannot be sorry to love him or to desire more."

Elrond's expression was kind. "You have never been well suited to solitude. After hearing about Maedhros, I did think about coming to find you again but... Well. As long as you are both happy, that is enough for me."

"I would probably have run, if you had," Maglor admitted quietly, "And I do not know if I could have even recognised you." He paused thoughtfully. "I do not... really recall anything coherent for... at least a year or so? After Maedhros died, but I know I was afraid. To see you again... to be allowed this close, is a blessing unlooked for."

Meanwhile, Esgaron stirred a little, not quite awake yet, but dreaming. "Cano..." The name was a mumbled sigh on his lips.

Maglor smoothed Esgaron's hair back again when he stirred. "Ssh, love, I'm here," he whispered.

"I am sorry." It was hard to tell just how encompassing those three words were, but Elrond meant them sincerely. He cast a worried glance at Esgaron who, after nuzzling into Maglor's touch, appeared to have gone back to sleep. "...is he all right?"

"I deserved it." Maglor shrugged a little diffidently, but his eyes were grateful. "I think he is - he does not seem to be dreaming."

Elrond frowned, his brows knitting. "Tell me more about his rest habits. Is this usual for him? You did say you thought he slept too much."

"Not for a while now, not unless he's been very stressed. He still sleeps more often than he seeks reverie - most days, he will sleep at least a little. But the nightmares come seldom the last month or so. When they come, or when the day has been long, he sleeps like this - long and deep," Maglor explained.

Elrond shook his head a little. "I am sorry. I did not intend to cause him such trouble. Celebrían and the boys wanted to see him anyway, so surprised were they by your letter. When you wrote he had memory troubles, I urged her to use her best judgment as to whether it not he would need my aid. I hoped he would be well enough, and, if not, that he would be glad of a visit here."

"It is not your fault," Maglor assured him, "I pushed as hard as Celebrían, and forgot that he was not as well as he often seemed. And the storm you could not have predicted."

Elrond's frown deepened. "What do you mean that he is not as well as he seems? Is there more you have not yet told me?"

"Not that." Maglor shrugged a little, helplessly. "Just... when he smiles and laughs and hunts with me, he does not seem injured at all. So... I forget, sometimes. That the scars on his soul have yet to fully heal, if they ever will."

"If I can find a way to do so, to heal him, I will," Elrond promised.

Esgaron, meanwhile, made a soft noise, shifted, and his eyes opened. He did not seem to recognize his surroundings at first. "Cano...?" He was still quite sleepy.

"Thank you, Elrond." Maglor smiled at his fosterling gratefully and when Esgaron stirred, he reached to brush hair from sleepy eyes. "Good morning, love. Elrond has invited us to break our fast with the family, if you feel up to it."

"Morning, Cano." Esgaron reached for his morning kiss as he sat up. It was then that he registered Elrond's presence at the side of the bed. "Oh. Thank you."

Elrond nodded in greeting. "Actually, Celebrían and our children are likely finished by now, but it will be quiet and you will not be disturbed. And afterward, I would like to examine you and see what healing I can provide."

Esgaron's mouth tightened into a line and he shook his head. "That is kind of you. But... I do not feel hungry this morning. Cano, if you are, you should eat, though."

Elrond gave Maglor a brief but worried look, knowing that Esgaron did not eat the night before either. Maglor did not see this, though, turning his own gaze to Esgaron.

"That will be two meals you've missed, love. What's wrong?" Maglor asked.

Esgaron just shook his head. "I... No, it is nothing, Cano. Just nerves, perhaps, being in a place I do not know." He absently chewed his lip, as he did sometimes at his most nervous. He didn't look at Elrond. But it was the impending healing that had him on edge.

Elrond's kind voice broke through the nervous quiet. "It is all right. A full stomach might cause discomfort during the healing. We will make sure you have something afterward," he assured.

Maglor bit his lip and pressed Esgaron's hand. "I am sorry, love - if I hadn't pushed you... do ... you want me there when Elrond sees if he can help?"

"I..." Esgaron squeezed Maglor's hand and looked him in the face. Esgaron was nervous. Frightened, even. But seeing such worry in Maglor's eyes... Esgaron dropped his gaze. "...I am sorry, Cano. I love you. I know you healed me in my most fragile hours, but... How could I put that burden on you again? ...perhaps it would be better for you to wait outside..."

Maglor bit his lip even harder and leaned forward to lean against Esgaron, ignoring Elrond for the moment. "I would bear any burden if you asked it of me. If _you_ need me there, I will come, and if you need me to go, I will go."

Elrond was staying the heck out of that one. Esgaron looked terribly conflicted for a while and he held tight to Maglor for a moment, but he finally shook his head again.

"Not this time, Cano. Go and break your fast. Save some for me. If I call your name, then come. I love you. Kiss for good luck?" Esgaron asked. He kissed Maglor, not as amorously as he sometimes did, but there was an urgency in it, as if it were the last kiss they would ever share.

Maglor held him tightly and kissed him back, sweet and sad, and then nodded. "All right. If you are sure - I will not be far, love."

Esgaron gave Maglor one last nuzzle, and he reluctantly let go. "I am sure. Unless I call your name. But come to me afterward."

Elrond stepped in to gently escort Maglor out of the room. "There is food just down the hall. If you have trouble finding it, Erestor or Lindir can show you. If he changes his mind, I will find you. And I will tell you as soon as we are finished. I promise to give him the best care I can."

The door closed behind Maglor, and Elrond began his work.

Maglor stood watching at the door, lost and forlorn, until Erestor came to take him to breakfast, though he might as well have been eating sawdust for all the attention he paid to the food, thousands of worries for Esgaron flitting across his mind. He spent most of the day holed up in the Councillor's office, safe away from prying eyes. Erestor did not speak to him much, and Maglor did not press, both of them too uncertain of each other after so long and with so much darkness between them. He paced sometimes, until Erestor's glares brought him back to sit. And in the end, the exasperated Councillor made him help with the accounts, and that was where Elrond would find him.

For the most part, nothing could be heard in the room Esgaron and Maglor had been sharing. However, those nearby could periodically hear sharp cries of pain, sometimes crying, sometimes the soft cadences of healing chants. But mostly, it was silent. And never did Esgaron call Maglor's name, though at one point, Celebrían entered and some time afterward, left as quietly as she had come.

Many hours later, Elrond emerged alone, looking drawn and weary, and went to find Maglor.

"We are finished. He is resting now," Elrond announced.

Maglor sprang to his feet when Elrond came in, much to Erestor's tutting displeasure, but he only had eyes for Elrond. "He.... how does he fare, Elrond?" 

"And with that, I think you should go and see him," Erestor said and pointedly shooed them both toward the door. "Things are well, milord," he assured Elrond. "The Valley bustles along and rumors are being batted back and forth but we have kept them squashed so far as is possible." 

"Excellent work, Erestor. I will review those with you after I finish up here," Elrond said. He then took Maglor aside where they could speak privately.

"Truthfully, I wish you had brought him to me sooner. There may have been more I could do. But at this point..." Elrond sighed. "He will almost certainly be in pain for at least a few days. I had to rebreak and reset several bones of his. Two fingers, four toes, three ribs and his left arm. The arm looked the oldest. One of his legs is also splinted to address a hairline fracture. So, no climbing or hunting or any other... vigorous activities... for at least a month. Preferably two. He's not pleased by that, as you can well imagine."

Maglor dropped his eyes, chastened, and nodded, wincing at the catalog of mistakes that Elrond laid out for him.

 _So selfish, Makalaurë,_ Curufin said almost kindly, _So stupid. Maedhros would never have made that mistake. And now he will suffer for it, as Maedhros did._

Elrond held up a hand to stop Maglor from trying to say anything yet. "And, _yes,_ I am aware of the depth of your relationship and your methods of expressing it. Just be careful with him for the time being." Elrond sounded like he aged a thousand years when he said that. "As for his memories... I did what I could. Some I was able to help surface, but he may describe others as... transplanted, if you will. We opened his mind, and whatever Celebrían and I could provide to him, we did. There are still gaps, however, and I cannot say if they will ever return. He is encouraged to study and research and ask questions to see if anything triggers, or at least so he has the historical knowledge. Admittedly, it would be to his benefit to return to Lothlórien for a time and take advantage of the resources there, but though I can recommend it, I cannot force it upon him. Celeborn and Galadriel are coming here to help him. You may also consider taking him to Edhellond and Dol Amroth for the same reasons once he is up for travel again. He... may not be the same Esgaron you brought here, and I do not believe he will ever be the same Amroth we knew. He will need your care as well. You are both welcome to stay here and use whatever resources you wish for as long as you like."

Elrond glanced back toward the direction of the guest quarters. "He was asleep when I left. And he will likely continue needing sleep in the future, but reverie should be easier for him now. You may see him, if you wish. Do you have questions?"

Maglor flushed slightly when Elrond told him that, and paled to hear that Celeborn and Galadriel were coming, but he didn't say anything until Elrond looked to be done. "Thank you." The words were soft but no less vehement in their emotion. "For everything. I... what do you think is best to care for him while the bones reset? I fear to make things worse again."

"For now? He needs rest. And to stay off the injured limbs. Treatment for his pains as well. He will most likely need help in performing tasks, like dressing or moving around. Once the bones are more set, he will need exercises to regain his strength and dexterity." Elrond paused. "He still has many fears, but there is little I can do for him. He must master those himself. Perhaps steady exposure until he regains a comfortable familiarity. In any case, your care, support and, yes, love, will be of great importance as he recovers." He softened. "You are welcome. As I said, you may see him now, if you wish."

Maglor nodded. "All right. Whatever needs doing, I am happy to do. And... yes - I think... I would like to go to him. Thank you again, Elrond."

Elrond nodded back graciously. "I was glad to help. I am sure he would welcome your comfort. Just remember that he is fragile at the moment. And he may sleep a long time with the medicines given to ease his pain."

He took Maglor back to where Esgaron was resting, and bowed slightly as he left the two alone. It was completely silent. Looking in on him, he was very still under the covers, though his bandaged and splinted limbs looked to be at odd angles. Maglor smiled and thanked Elrond before slipping in to stand beside the bed. He hesitated, heart aching to see Esgaron lying so still and quiet, and gently eased down to sit next to him, reaching a hesitant hand to carefully brush against golden hair.

"Ah, Esgaron," he murmured softly, "Forgive me. I should have got you help sooner."

_~*Maglor.*~_

The name was as clear as if spoken aloud, Esgaron's _sanwe-latye_ still laid open from his healing. Images almost too quick to process flickered across it, evidently things Elrond shared with him.

Maglor jumped, not expecting it, but the answer was automatic. _~*here*~_

_~*Maglor. Makalaurë. Canafinwë.*~_ His eyes flickered open. "...Cano...?"

And Maglor nodded, reaching across again to brush against Esgaron's cheek. "Yes, love. Here I am."

"Hmmm." Esgaron twitched a little, as if trying to move, but didn't actually shift at all. _~*I am glad you are here. Everything hurts.*~_

Maglor brushed his hand through Esgaron's hair gently in answer, his answers clumsy still. _~*always*~_ "I'm sorry, love. Do you need me to get you anything for the pain?" he asked.

Esgaron sighed softly and his eyes closed again, but not in sleep, it seemed. _~*No. Even breathing hurts, or I would speak, but more medicine will only put me back to sleep. I do not want to sleep now. Water? No. Soup. If they will make some. Just a little.*~_

Maglor nodded and bent to brush a kiss across his brow. "I will go and ask," he promised. He surprised Erestor at the door, who, with his typical efficiency, had thought ahead and was bringing a dinner tray. 

"Since," Erestor explained, "I do not think you will want to leave his side. Food for you, and broth for him, if he thinks he can manage it. There is fresh water in the jugs on the table. Leave the tray outside when you are done."

"Thank you." Maglor nodded, and Erestor bowed perfunctorily and turned to go.

"Erestor?" Maglor asked.

"Hm?"

"Thank you. For. You know."

"Yes. Do not hurt him again."

"I... cannot promise that. But I will try."

"Good enough. Good night, Maglor." 

"Good night." Maglor brought the tray over to the bed. "Here, love - Erestor is as efficient as ever. Do you think, if I help you up, you could sip a bit?"

 _~*Yes, please?*~_ Esgaron struggled to sit up on his own with so many immobilized parts. _~*Who did he mean, Cano? When he said not to hurt him again. Was that referring to Elrond, or me?*~_

"Let me help, love." Maglor put the tray down nearby and moved to support Esgaron and he shook his head a little. "With Erestor, it is never easy to guess - I might have thought he meant Elrond - he has never really forgiven me for that, but... he was looking straight at you when he said it. Perhaps he meant both."

Esgaron's grimace of pain as he was helped into an upright position became a frown. _~*Then I will correct him myself, if I must. You have never hurt me. You did the best you could with next to nothing as I lay on the brink of death. Perhaps it was not perfect, but the conditions were far less than ideal. You did not hurt me. Any who argue the point will be answering to me.*~_

"Physically? No. But... Erestor is right that I have done more damage than I ought in not bringing you aid sooner. Still. He is probably mostly angry about Elrond," Maglor explained. He supported Esgaron carefully, watching his injuries. "It is all right, love. Erestor and I... will work things out, eventually. He is not one to let emotions get in the way of his work, in any case."

 _~*I seem to recall being reluctant to come in the first place. I am as much to blame, surely. For that matter, even with Elrond's help, I have little in my mind of Erestor. I did not think he held me in such esteem to be so concerned.*~_ Esgaron tried to settle into something like comfort, and glanced down unhappily at his immobilized arm and bandaged fingers. _~*...I fear I will be very clumsy indeed trying to feed myself right now.*~_ He flushed in embarrassment and frustration, mortified to be reduced to such helplessness. _~*...please help?*~_

"Erestor does not need to know you, I think. You were Lothlórien's King, and therefore, worthy of at a minimum his respect, if nothing else. He was always one for such protocols. But I think his ire is mostly directed at me. You are... merely the latest victim of my... I suppose, what he considers incompetence?" Maglor could only guess, but was distracted by Esgaron's distress. "Ah! Of course, sorry, love, here..." Maglor reached for the spoon to feed Esgaron. "'Tis not your fault that you cannot, I should have thought of it earlier."

Esgaron sighed and obediently opened his mouth, allowing Maglor to feed him like a child. _~*This is most certainly not very kingly.*~_

Maglor chuckled a little as he fed him. "'Tis only 'til you are well again, Esgaron. All of us are invalids at one time or another," he assured him.

 _~*Not usually at my age.*~_ Esgaron was clearly in a grumpy mood, but obediently allowed Maglor to feed him until he turned his head away. _~*No more. My stomach feels too sensitive.*~_

"Not under normal circumstances," Maglor said softly, "But war makes invalids of us all..." He stopped when Esgaron turned away. "All right," he murmured, and eyed the amount left with some worry before he set the bowl aside. "Will you need your medication now?"

 _~*I have not been to war in nearly four millennia. I do not think that is a valid excuse.*~_ Esgaron shook his head a little at Maglor's question. _~*Not yet. You should eat first. The medicine will only put me back to sleep. I think I will rest better with you at my side. I would be held, but gently.*~_

"And I hope you never have to again, my love." Maglor shot him a worried look, but acquiesced. "All right, love." He ate quickly and set the dishes outside as he was instructed, pouring them both water before coming back to bed. "I wish I could speed up the process for you."

 _~*Nor do I wish to.*~_ Esgaron tried to shift to be comfortable, wincing and grimacing. He sighed in defeat. _~*It hurts. Please. I will take the medicines... and sleep. Stay with me?*~_

"Always, love, so long as you wish it of me." Maglor fetched the medicine and brought it over with the water to help wash it down, and he would help Esgaron with that too, before putting everything away and climbing in next to Esgaron and carefully folding him in his arms.

Esgaron took the medicine stoically, aside from a slight wrinkling of his nose at the taste. He breathed shallowly as Maglor gently enveloped him in his arms. Esgaron stole one kiss, light and soft, before tucking his head under Maglor's chin. Little by little, his breathing slowed down as the medicine took effect. "...thank you," he said softly. He eventually drifted off. His mind remained open, however, if clouded with sleep. His dreams easily bled through. 

Bits of memory, his own and those shared with him to fill in the gaps, floated through his dreams, Maglor prominent in several. But there was one where he was lost in a dark and ancient wood. Sinister whispers filled his ears. A woman's voice called out for him, but he could not find her. He began to cry until his tears became an icy flood, drowning him in blackness.

He woke up with a gasp, tears on his cheeks.

"...hurts. More medicine...?" Esgaron croaked.

Maglor had curled around him in turn, dropping into slight reverie until Esgaron's dreams woke him, and he crooned, worried and fretting, unsure what to do until Esgaron woke himself. "Oh, love." He wiped the tears from Esgaron's cheeks. "Yes, of course." Carefully, he moved to untangle himself.

Esgaron still couldn't move well on his own, but he shifted to let Maglor get up. Alone in the bed, he shivered as if still awash in the icy-cold waters of his dreams. When Maglor brought him the medicine, he sat up with some help and accepted it gratefully. "...sorry I woke you..." he muttered.

"No, 'tis well - I was not sleeping, in any case," Maglor assured him, and shifted to hold him close, as if to chase away the chill. "I am only sorry I cannot chase away the dreams - I should have guessed they would be bad, after all the trouble of today."

Esgaron rubbed his sore ribs as best he could. Breathing and talking still hurt. "...sing for me?" he asked.

Maglor pressed a gentle kiss against Esgaron's hair and nodded. "Of course, love," he promised.

" _Sleep, my love, and peace attend thee,_  
_All through the night_  
_Soft the drowsy hours are creeping,_  
_Hill and dale in slumber sleeping_  
_I my loved ones' watch am keeping,_  
_All through the night_ "

Esgaron sighed as the lullabye and medicine took effect, plunging him into a deep slumber. For a while, he did not dream at all, lying so still that only his heartbeat and faint breathing indicated he was still alive. When dreams came again, they remained dark, but his body was yet caught in the stillness, so even as his mind all but screamed aloud, physically, he didn't even whimper.

Maglor didn't bother to sleep or even seek reverie, this time, staying awake and watching. He didn't know what alerted him that something was wrong, but he could almost hear Esgaron screaming. He reached across to brush through Esgaron's hair, calling to him softly, "Esgaron? Love, it's your Cano, you're dreaming, love, ssh, it's only a dream."

The stillness began to ebb, and so Esgaron began to nuzzle into Maglor's side, seeking comfort but only moving a little bit. His sleep was never very restful for the entire night, and near dawn, he gave up. He woke, though he remained quiet, just looking at Maglor. He still looked exhausted.

"Cano..."

Maglor curled around him, humming softly, offering what little comfort he could, always mindful of Esgaron's healing injuries. He reached a gentle hand to brush through Esgaron's hair when he woke. "Here I am, love. I am sorry I could not give you sleep."

Esgaron snuggled as close as his injuries would allow. "...did I keep you awake too?" he asked in a small voice.

Maglor curled close in answer and shook his head. "I wasn't sleepy - I napped a bit, earlier."

"I am sorry, Cano." Esgaron sighed and stared off moodily. "I thought I came here to be fixed. It does not feel like it."

"Don't be." Maglor curled against him more closely. "We knew it would not be easy. I am here - whatever you need love, you need but ask."

Esgaron huffed, and winced, immediately regretting it. His hand flew to his bandaged ribs. "I need it to stop being painful," he said.

"Well," Maglor said and could not quite help the slight dry amusement in his voice, "there _are_ the painkillers for that, but we should be careful not to overdo them."

"And I am not in the mood for sleep." Esgaron groaned in frustration. "I do not _know_ what I need."

"Mm, I think I can guess a little, anyway. But in lieu of being able to do _much_... do you think you want to go outside for a while? There is a small balcony just off the room - we could go and sit in the sun and listen to the waterfalls," Maglor suggested.

A long exhale escaped Esgaron's lips. "I think so," he decided, "It would be better than simply lying in bed all day again. But I think I will need your help, Cano..."

"Of course." Maglor nodded. "I suppose it is a good thing we know I can lift you, and that it is not far," he teased wryly, even as he went to carefully help Esgaron up.

"Be careful. If you get hurt, Cano, we will both be in positions we don't want to be in," Esgaron cautioned. He was grateful for the help, leaning on Maglor for support as he was helped to his feet. His splinted leg and bandaged toes made walking difficult, but eventually he was able to get outside into the spring sunshine. It lit up his hair like it was molten gold. He did seem to relax somewhat being outside. "Mmm. It is nice out here..."

Maglor only smiled at Esgaron and helped him out, settling him on the bench that had obviously been set up for anyone wishing to enjoy the breeze. "There now, such a sight you make, my lovely golden one. I rather think the sun has missed you too, the way she lights up," he teased gently.

"More that she pities me, broken wretch that I am." There was a little bit of teasing in Esgaron's tone, but mostly it was wry and he was clearly still feeling out of sorts. "I wonder that you still find me lovely when I am so wrapped in bandages."

"If she pities anyone, it is herself, since she can only look and not touch." Maglor rejoined and sat next to him. "You are always beautiful, love; even when I found you on the shore, you were lovely."

"You exaggerate." But there was a hint of a smile. "But in the best way. Dear Cano. What would I do without you?"

"Only a very tiny smidgen." Maglor leaned in to brush a kiss on Esgaron's cheek. "I think the better question is what I would do without you!"

"Flatterer." But Esgaron accepted the kiss. "Without me, you would not be playing nurse. You could wander the shores as you pleased, not needing to be concerned about it frightening anyone. Though you would not have the home you do."

"Without you, I would be mad," Maglor said softly.

 _Mad- **der**_ , offered Celegorm cheerfully.

"I would be alone, and lonely, and lost. I would not be happy, without you," Maglor continued, ignoring his brother.

"When did that begin, Cano? Surely not until after I woke the first time after you pulled me from the beach. Even now, I am hardly the best company," Esgaron said.

"In truth I cannot clearly say." Maglor shrugged a little. "I... one day I looked around and realised that I had forgotten how to be alone, and that I was happiest with you. I think I had forgotten how to BE happy." He smiles shyly at Esgaron. "You are always good company, love."

"You _are_ mad." Esgaron shook his head fondly. "...but thank you." He brushed a light kiss near the corner of Maglor's mouth.

"Maybe I am." Maglor turned to return the kiss lightly. "But it is a far more pleasant madness than the one I knew before, if so."

"We are a hopeless pair. No wonder Elrond seems at such a loss." Esgaron blushed faintly. "He... knows. I did not intend to tell him, but my mind was laid open far more than usual, and as things came in... others slipped out..."

Maglor ducked his own head, equally shy. "Yes - he may have ah... mentioned it. Amongst. Instructions for your care. Yesterday. About eh... activities we are not to... indulge in until you are better healed. 'Tis not your fault, love."

Esgaron's features twisted in a scowl. "Yes, so he mentioned. None of that. No climbing. No hunting. I cannot even do carving like this! For weeks! Ordinarily weeks seem like so little time for us, but even Eldar can feel their length when so very bored." A sigh of frustration broke through his tight lips. "Nor do I know how I am to be fitted for wedding garments like this. Elrond seems to think I should content myself holed up in a library while I heal."

Maglor could not quite help the giggle that bubbled up at the disgruntled look on Esgaron's face, and he pressed his face into Esgaron's hair. "Oh, my poor, sweet love! I will stay by your side and we will see what things we can do - every day you will heal and grow stronger, and be able to do a little more. I will see if we can maybe go into the gardens to sit, if you like. And do not mind poor Elrond. Even since he was a child he has been sure that the solution to all ills is found within the walls of the library. Once he found the one in Amon Ereb, as small as it was, even Elros had a hard time rousting him from it. I have no doubt his is magnificent, now that he is old enough to have his own."

Maglor's giggle caused Esgaron to sniff like a particularly offended cat. "It is not that I dislike books. A great deal of wisdom can be found there. And I do not mind being still and quiet at times. You saw that this winter. But electing to enjoy them is one thing. Having nothing else to do is quite another."

Maglor snorted a bit at the sniff before he regained control of himself, and he placed a repentant kiss on Esgaron's cheek. "I know, love, I know. So we will have to try and distract you, eh? I think I could manage to get you out to the lower terraces and the gardens, if we took it slow."

"Do you think we would attract much attention if we did?" Esgaron asked.

"Possibly," Maglor allowed. "But see - we are set fairly far back from the main house here, and the garden looks fairly secluded. I would warrant these are the family rooms, so the only people we might run into are Elrond himself, your sister and her children, and possibly the occasional healer or apprentice running chores. Maybe Erestor and Glorfindel."

"Ah. That is perhaps not so bad," Esgaron mused. A thought occurred to him. "Did you eat breakfast, Cano?"

"...." Maglor paused and blinked. "Oh. I have not. Are you hungry, Esgaron?"

"Some. I have eaten little these past few days. It... is difficult for me to eat on a stressed stomach," Esgaron admitted.

Maglor hugged him briefly. "Then, shall we see about getting some breakfast? I can slip out and try to find the kitchens, although I suspect that if neither of us appear, we will have a healer or two to come and check on us soon."

"We should. At least for you. I may yet be limited to broth," Esgaron said.

"Then I will go and find out, hm? Do you think you could manage anything more solid? I can always ask," Maglor offered.

"Possibly. But let us begin slowly. Much still hurts," Esgaron said.

"All right." Maglor moved to get up. "Will you be all right here until I return?"

"I think I will manage." Maglor gestured to his splinted leg and bandaged toes. "Where do you expect I will be able to go between now and then?"

Maglor laughed softly, bending forwards to kiss him. "I meant rather if you wanted me to leave you with a book or some such, but all right - I will be quick, love." 

Esgaron kissed back lightly, and tried to relax. Maglor pulled away and headed to the door, hoping to find someone who could direct him.

Outside the room, someone did slip by: a dark-haired female Elf, who bore an uncanny resemblance to her foremother long ago. Arwen's eyes widened at the sight of Maglor. Clearly, no introduction was needed on her end. It took a moment before she dared to speak. "Is there something you need, sir?"

Maglor never met Lúthien, but he could see Elrond in her eyes, and he bowed to her, formally, as if to a great and noble lady. "Well met, lady. Forgive me - we were hungry, your uncle and I, and wondering where we might break our fast."

She was still a little wary. She didn't think her parents would have allowed him to be there if they believed he would do her any actual harm, but still, this was _Maglor._ She knew the stories. "We could have something brought up from the kitchens, if you like. I was told it might be difficult for my uncle to walk. Otherwise there is still some in the solar," she told him.

Maglor kept himself still and his hands in the open, and thought idly that Celegorm should have left well enough alone - but there was something of Aredhel's spirit even in Lúthien's great-great granddaughter (more maybe, as there was a distant blood relation), and he supposed he understood why his impetuous brother might have been tempted. But mostly, he saw Elrond in her eyes and Elros in her wariness, and his heart ached. "At the moment, yes - I can do so myself, if it is easier?" he offered.

She shook her head. "It is no trouble. My uncle is a beloved member of the family here. We would be happy to help any way we can, and will have food brought to your quarters. It should not take long."

Maglor bowed politely and moved to retreat. "Thank you, milady. I will not trouble you longer."

"Of course." Arwen bowed her head graciously and headed off to make sure someone brought them breakfast. Sure enough, within the hour, Lindir came bearing trays. There was broth for Amroth, but also fruit, nuts, honey, smoked fish, toast, milk and tea. Maglor headed back in to sit with Esgaron, and thanked Lindir graciously when the tray was brought.

"Here, love - it seems you are being allowed to try things a little more solid today!" Maglor announced brightly.

Esgaron glanced over the tray. "Are you sure that is not meant for you, Cano?"

"Well, some of it undoubtedly is, but I think you could try, if you felt up to it?" Maglor suggested. 

"I suppose I could. But you should have your fill. It is... probably best if I not push things too quickly," Esgaron said, still eyeing the food doubtfully. He started to reach for the broth, but his hands were clumsy trying to wrap around the bowl, and he sighed. "Ah, Cano...?"

"All right - but if you wish to try some, please feel free - I do not think I can eat all of it by myself!" Maglor nodded and moved to help him. "Here, love, let me?" Esgaron nodded back, his expression settling into somewhere between resignation and chagrin, but he obediently opened his mouth to allow Maglor to feed him. "I am sorry for the inconvenience, love," Maglor murmured softly as he did, "Hopefully your hands will heal swiftly."

"I hope so as well." So Esgaron said between bites. "Mutual feeding can be enjoyable, but _this_..."

"Yes," Maglor agreed wryly, "Not really romantic, I fear. But you are strong, and will heal swiftly, so at least 'tis not a grief you will long have to endure."

"Truly, you think so?"

"I know so, for did you not heal swiftly when I pulled you from the ocean? And I have none of Elrond's skill." Maglor leaned closer to brush a kiss across Esgaron's cheek. "You will heal, and swiftly, and I will be here beside you."

"I suppose that I did. Thank you, Cano." But then, Esgaron winced a little. "...it is starting to hurt again... Perhaps... perhaps just a _little_ medicine, once we are done?"

Maglor nodded, and fetched the medicine bottle once they were done. "Here, love, do you want me to see if Elrond is free?" he asked.

"To do what?" Esgaron retorted, "I am not much changed from yesterday."

"I do not know, love, but I hate to see you in pain - if there is more he can do to aid you..." Maglor trailed off.

"Hmm, I suppose. Preferably without it putting me to sleep. Though I fear I must simply endure some of it." Esgaron leaned against Maglor, seeking his comfort.

"Mm." Maglor reached up to card through Esgaron's hair gently. "I fear that is true enough. But why don't we sit for a while - you have had your dose for the morning, and there is no need to trouble them for now. I would that I could give you more comfort that holding you, though."

"Yes, sitting would be nice. Though I have done little else since arriving. But your arms, your voice... They help, Cano. They do." Esgaron's face was earnest, even as he tried to wedge himself more closely against his lover.

"Thank you for saying so, my love, I only wish I could take your pain away entirely," Maglor sighed.

"I know." Esgaron rested his bright head on Maglor's shoulder, the medicine already dulling the edges of his perception. "Perhaps your healing chants might help? They brought me back once."

A soft chuckle bubbled up on Maglor's lips. "I do not have any, love. All I can do is remind you of the things worth living for - anything else is beyond me. But I can sing for you, if you like," he offered.

"I thought you had some. ...perhaps I am misremembering again. My mind is still very much a mess," Esgaron groaned. "I would welcome your songs, however."

"Nothing that any true healer would consider so," Maglor said with a shrug, "I am far too bloodied for that." He mentally reviewed songs that Esgaron might enjoy. "But let me see - is there anything you want to hear?"

Esgaron considered. "...sing to me of the shore. Of the sea. It will hurt, I am sure. But I have these... pieces. Like... shards of a broken mirror. Bits of memory that do not quite fit together. Perhaps... if you can help me put them back into one piece, they will no longer be so sharp," he said.

Maglor crooked up an eyebrow at the request, and then nodded slowly, starting one of the old Telerin shanties.

_"Ah! what pleasant visions haunt me_  
_As I gaze upon the sea!_  
_All the old romantic legends,_  
_All my dreams, come back to me._

_Sails of silk and ropes of sandal,_  
_Such as gleam in ancient lore;_  
_And the singing of the sailors,_  
_And the answer from the shore!_

_Most of all, the wistful ballad_  
_Haunts me oft, and tarries long,_  
_Of the noble Count Arnaldos_  
_And the sailor's mystic song._

_Like the long waves on a sea-beach,_  
_Where the sand as silver shines,_  
_With a soft, monotonous cadence,_  
_Flow its unrhymed lyric lines;--_

_Telling how the Count Arnaldos,_  
_With his hawk upon his hand,_  
_Saw a fair and stately galley,_  
_Steering onward to the land;--_

_How he heard the ancient helmsman_  
_Chant a song so wild and clear,_  
_That the sailing sea-bird slowly_  
_Poised upon the mast to hear,_

_Till his soul was full of longing,_  
_And he cried, with impulse strong,--_  
_'Helmsman! for the love of heaven,_  
_Teach me, too, that wondrous song!'_

_'Wouldst thou,'--so the helmsman answered,_  
_'Learn the secret of the sea?_  
_Only those who brave its dangers_  
_Comprehend its mystery!'_

_In each sail that skims the horizon,_  
_In each landward-blowing breeze,_  
_I behold that stately galley,_  
_Hear those mournful melodies;_

_Till my soul is full of longing_  
_For the secret of the sea,_  
_And the heart of the great ocean_  
_Sends a thrilling pulse through me."_

Esgaron shivered next to Maglor, but he clenched his jaw, determined. "...another, please, Cano."

Maglor shot him a concerned look, and wrapped his arms more securely around him, hoping to try and provide Esgaron some means of support that way as he sang again. 

_"I must go down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,_  
_And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by;_  
_And the wheel’s kick and the wind’s song and the white sail’s shaking,_  
_And a grey mist on the sea’s face, and a grey dawn breaking._

_I must go down to the seas again, for the call of the running tide_  
_Is a wild call and a clear call that may not be denied;_  
_And all I ask is a windy day with the white clouds flying,_  
_And the flung spray and the blown spume, and the sea-gulls crying._

_I must go down to the seas again, to the vagrant gypsy life,_  
_To the gull’s way and the whale’s way where the wind’s like a whetted knife;_  
_And all I ask is a merry yarn from a laughing fellow-rover,_  
_And quiet sleep and a sweet dream when the long trick’s over."_

That one brought tears to Esgaron's eyes, and they streamed silently down his cheeks. He opened his mouth to speak, but his voice broke before he could even get the first word out. So he just nodded, encouraging more.

Maglor reached up, concerned, wiping the tears from his lover's eyes, but continued, since that was what Esgaron wanted:

_"The sea is calm to-night._  
_The tide is full, the moon lies fair_  
_Upon the straits; - on the east coast the light_  
_Gleams and is gone; the cliffs of Lindon stand,_  
_Glimmering and vast, out in the tranquil bay._  
_Come to the window, sweet is the night-air!_  
_Only, from the long line of spray_  
_Where the sea meets the moon-blanch'd land,_  
_Listen! you hear the grating roar_  
_Of pebbles which the waves draw back, and fling,_  
_At their return, up the high strand,_  
_Begin, and cease, and then again begin,_  
_With tremulous cadence slow, and bring_  
_The eternal note of sadness in._

_Once I long ago_  
_Heard it on the wind, and it brought_  
_Into my mind the turbid ebb and flow_  
_Of mortal misery; we_  
_Find also in the sound a thought,_  
_Hearing it by this distant northern sea._

_The Sea of Faith_  
_Was once, too, at the full, and round earth's shore_  
_Lay like the folds of a bright girdle furl'd._  
_But now I only hear_  
_Its melancholy, long, withdrawing roar,_  
_Retreating, to the breath_  
_Of the night-wind, down the vast edges drear_  
_And naked shingles of the world._

_Ah, love, let us be true_  
_To one another! for the world, which seems_  
_To lie before us like a land of dreams,_  
_So various, so beautiful, so new,_  
_Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light,_  
_Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain;_  
_And we are here as on a darkling plain_  
_Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight,_  
_Where ignorant armies clash by night."_

A soft sound broke upon Esgaron's lips, not quite a cry, and he shuddered hard, and then he _did_ cry out in pain, and then he just shook his head, clutching at his bandaged ribs.

"Esgaron!" Maglor stopped in immediate concern, reaching to hold his lover and rock him. "Forgive me, love, I did not mean to make things worse."

"N-no..." Esgaron all but gasped the word. "No... I think it is helping. But it hurts first."

Maglor cradled him and made a low noise of worry. "Oh, love. Do... do you want me to stop?"

"For now." Esgaron sighed and leaned a bit bonelessly against Maglor. "I suppose that cannot all be fixed in one day either."

Maglor nodded, relieved that he wasn't being asked to continue, and wrapped his arms around Esgaron more securely. "I wish it was not so hard, love."

"I know." Esgaron groaned softly. "I am exhausted but not in the mood for sleep."

Maglor reached up to card through his hair and hummed softly. "Shall we see about going down to the garden, maybe? You might feel better, surrounded by the green."

Esgaron glanced out the window, and his eyes lingered, long and hungry and sad, at the trees. "I want to go _up,_ Cano, not down."

With the medicine in his system, he spaced out for a bit, gazing at the trees. His mind remained wide-open, however, and old memories floated across his _sanwe-latye:_ Building his cities in the trees, Caras Galadhon, Cerin Amroth, settlements in Edhellond and Dol Amroth; wandering through the thick and ancient southern forests of Fangorn and befriending the Ents residing there; the prince, still young enough to be impetuous, scaling the roofs and ramparts of Ost-in-Edhil; younger still and climbing the famed holly trees of Eregion and discovering just how sharp the leaves truly were; a childhood at a lakeshore, both twins laughing and his sister trying to follow him into ever higher branches, even walking out on the sturdiest branches and jumping off them into the lake waters below--

It was when his memory-self hit the water that he gasped and was alert again, but once more he sighed unhappily, "But I am to remain on the ground until healed."

Maglor was quiet, following the thread of Esgaron's memories, letting him wander and gain solace that way and he hugged him tightly, pressing a kiss against golden hair when he sighed. "I know - I am sorry, love. But... I cannot take you up into the trees, but I wonder... if Imladris has a high tower, do you want to go up?" he asked.

"Not quite the same. But... thank you." Esgaron pursed his mouth, partly in a pout, partly in thought. "Although... Who here besides Lord Elrond do you suppose would best know the secrets of Imladris?"

Maglor considered that thoughtfully. "His sons, your nephews, in likelihood. I doubt that their home holds any secrets. Your sister, the Lady of the House. And... Erestor. That one always seemed to know everything worth knowing. I could ask any of them, my love," he suggested.

"Good. Some of them may know places I can go that will ease my more restless desires. I do not think Elrond would approve if I asked him," Esgaron said.

"You might be surprised." Maglor hummed, softly. "But all right - I could go and see if I can find Erestor? I think I can reach his office easily enough. Or your sister or nephews might be in the nearby family rooms."

"Any would be fine. Perhaps all of them. One may know things the others do not. Perhaps I once built a treehouse for my sister's children. I do not have all of my memories still. More than I did, but..." Esgaron tilted his head in an approximation of a shrug. "The sooner I no longer need medicine for the pain, the better. It wearies me."

"All right." Maglor nodded and got up, pressing a kiss to golden hair. "I will head for Erestor's office then, and see who I may encounter on the way. Will you need more of the medicine before I go?"

"I fear I will be asleep when you return if I do," Esgaron quipped.

Maglor nodded again, this time in acquiesance and stole another kiss. "All right, then I will be back as soon as I may - I will leave everything within reach if you need it, however." He slipped out, heading determinedly for Erestor's office, hoping against hope to not run into anyone on the way.

Esgaron lingered against the stolen kiss for a heartbeat or two. "I will see you soon, Cano." And with that, he sighed and sank into where he was sitting.

"Be well, my love." Maglor was equally reluctant to pull away, but he did, in the end.

It was not far down the hall that Maglor ran into Lindir again, who gave him a nervous look. "Something I can help you with?" he asked, moving to block Maglor's path toward where most of the guests were, trying to keep him away from the common areas.

Maglor kept both hands open and contrived to look as harmless as he could. "Your pardon, but I was seeking Erestor, or perhaps the Lady of the House? Esg... Amroth grows restless indoors, but he would rather go up, than down," he explained.

Lindir looked a little confused. "Erestor is in his office and Lady Celebrían is attending to our other guests. However, there are some terraces that overlook the valley, if that is what he's wanting..."

Maglor tipped his head in gratitude. "Aye, they would - but it would make him feel better the higher he can go, I think. I was hoping Lord Erestor might have maps, perhaps? I will not bother the Lady if she is busy, and I assume this means her sons will be, also?"

"The young lords are with Glorfindel. I believe they were planning a hunt for later. Would you like me to send for someone?" Lindir offered. "And please do be careful. Exploring might not be the best idea while he is in a delicate condition."

Maglor shook his head a little. "No - I do not wish to interrupt them. I remember the way to the office. And we will be careful."

"If you are certain." Lindir was still blocking the way to the main halls, clearly not wanting a Fëanorian on the loose. "I will let him know you are coming."

Maglor didn't protest, bowing his head in gratitude. "Thank you," he said, "...Master Lindir, was it you I heard singing last night?"

That earned another wary look. "Possibly. There are many in these halls who sing. Why do you ask?"

A small wistful smile played over Maglor's mouth. "Because I wished to thank the singer - I have not had much chance to listen to other voices, you see. And he was very, very good."

...fine, that mollified Lindir some. "Well. Thank you. Perhaps you will hear it again." And with a final wary look, he let Maglor slip off to find Erestor.

Maglor tipped his head in acknowledgement, and waited until Lindir had gone before heading off in search of Erestor. He was thoroughly unsurprised that Erestor was waiting for him, nor that Lindir got there first and apparently told him what he was seeking.

"If it is hiding places he is looking for, you had best ask the twins when they return. Otherwise, there is the Star Tower, but it is on the other side of the House, and a bit too far for him at present. Here, these are the designs - he helped with some of these you know - at the least, they will entertain him, and he might gain some memories back. At the best, you might find places nearby that will soothe his need for heights, if not treetops," Erestor said brusquely, handing a stack of documents to Maglor.

No, he was not surprised at all, and Maglor bowed, less insulted and more amused by the perfunctory manner of Elrond's left hand, recognising worry when he saw it. "Thank you, Erestor."

"There is no need for thanks when I but do my duty to make sure my lord's guests are comfortable."

"Maybe not, but it does not mean I am not grateful."

"Hmp. Take the apple tarts up to him - they are light and might be something to tempt his appetite, although have a care in not letting him eat too much. Good bye," Erestor said, also handing over a plate of the tarts.

"Fare well, Erestor." Maglor bowed and hastened to leave while Erestor was in a good mood, hurrying back to their room with his new treasures.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 0\. Traditional airs, and poetry by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, John Masefield, and an adaptation from Dover Beach by Matthew Arnold. Because we're not just here to provide fic, we're here to provide _culture!_ How did you do at identifying them?  
>  1\. We hope you enjoyed this update, just in time for Hanukkah! As always, we love hearing your love! Don't be shy to comment! :)


	15. Dreams of Yesterday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maglor entertains Esgaron with stories from his past while he heals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 0\. A wild holiday update! Merry Christmas, readers! Mostly because this one is comparatively short.  
> 1\. For the most part warning-free, aside from some humiliation of young Maglor at Galadriel's hands.

Alone and bored, Esgaron was half-asleep when Maglor returned, lightly dozing between reverie and true sleep. Sunlight streamed in from the windows, gleaming in his hair, falling across his face. The stresses he'd endured those last few days were more evident than ever. The skin, faintly discolored with an ashen hue, seemed overly taut across his cheekbones; his eyes closed, but sunken in their sockets, dryness on his lips, thin white lines of scars far starker than usual. He was still beautiful, yes, but that beauty had been roughened.

He remained still when Maglor entered, seeming to just be soaking in the warmth of spring sunshine. Maglor stopped in the doorway and simply watched for a while, worriedly tracing the lines of stress and pain. He hesitated to wake him, wanting him to get as much rest as he could, but he rustled the papers in his hand softly as he came to sit beside him, setting the small plate of tarts on the bedside table.

"Oh, love," Maglor whispered and it was the barest sound.

Esgaron stirred when he felt Maglor's familiar weight beside him. "Mmm. Did you find what you were looking for, Cano?" he asked.

"Did I disturb you, Esgaron?" Maglor smiled and bent to brush a kiss on his cheek. "Perhaps - Erestor suggested the Star Tower, when you are better rested, but thought that you might have more enjoyment of these - the maps and designs for Imladris, including the plans for this section. And he sent some of his apple tarts, if you were feeling up to them."

"No, not at all. Just curing my listlessness," Esgaron said. He listened and took the papers from Maglor, thumbing through them. "He thinks I am not ready? We shall see. I still think it would be worth asking my nephews. Between their mother and me, I am sure they are skilled climbers themselves." He continued to thumb over the designs. "Ah these... It was so long ago... Elrond, he wrote to me, asking for advice... Some he did not use in the founding of this place, but..." He sighed nostalgically and glanced at the tarts. "Did Erestor make those himself?"

"He worries," Maglor said, and watched as Esgaron flicked through them. "Mm, they are out with Glorfindel at the moment, but Erestor will doubtless raise the issue with them, if I am remembering his efficiency correctly. They might drop by, later." He shrugged. "He said that you were involved, yes. And yes, he did. Do you think you are up to trying one?"

"Involved?" Esgaron repeated, "Not really. I sent back some advice and sketches. I had too many other concerns to handle at the time to come here and build. There were defenses in my valley needing to be shored up. An old home and a kinsman to mourn and... Nimrodel..." He shook his head and didn't complete the thought. He turned his attentions to the tarts. "Go ahead and try one first, Cano. I... am not in the mood."

"I am sorry, love, I did not mean to raise bad memories," Maglor said contritely, but did reach across to snag one, and his eyebrow lifted, "This is not any Noldorin recipe - he must have learnt this here, or in Falas, maybe. Are you sure you do not want to try one, Esgaron?"

Esgaron sank back into the pillows. "I am sure. Just for now. But you may have one to start," he said.

Maglor nibbled on it and came to sit beside him. "Are you hurting again, love? I can see about getting Elrond, if you want," he offered.

"No, do not trouble him. ...There is a great deal that hurts yet. Not all of it just due to mending bones and flesh," Esgaron sighed.

Maglor wrapped his arm around Esgaron and sighed softly in echo. "Ah, love. I wish I could take your pain."

"You do, Cano." Esgaron nestled into the embrace, and with his unbroken arm, reached up to lightly stroke Maglor's cheek with bandaged fingers. "You help. This helps." He moved to kiss Maglor very lightly, gently, almost lazily putting his lips against his beloved's and letting them linger.

"Whatever you need, my love." Maglor kissed him back, keeping the kiss light and gentle, reaching up to card though Esgaron's hair. "I am here for you."

"And you have been from the moment you found me. Ah, I do love you, my Cano." For a little while, Esgaron was content to be held. But only a little while. "Would you sing for me again? Or perhaps find a book we could read together? We could sit in the sun and do that..."

"Which would you prefer, love?" Maglor asked. "Although the sun would do you good either way, I think."

"I suppose we could find a book and you could sing it to me." Esgaron was teasing, mostly. "Truly, either is fine. I just like hearing your voice."

Maglor chuckled. "It would certainly be a novel way to read! Well - have we anything here that might be interesting to read?"

"I have no doubt Elrond will provide us with whatever reading material we ask for. He did suggest I spend my time on the mend with books. There are some on the shelf there, but I have not seen what they are yet," Esgaron said, gesturing toward them.

"Let me see, then." Maglor extricated himself reluctantly, trotting over to snag the books and bring them back. "Hm, poetry, smatterings of history and..." He stilled, looking at the last book. "Oh," he said softly, fingers carefully running down the slightly faded cover. "We wrote this, Elrond and I. A collection of bedtime stories. He helped me illustrate it, although it was meant to be an exercise in penmanship."

Esgaron looked a little chagrined, even guilty to have suggested it. "I... I am sorry, Cano. We do not have to read that one."

"No." Maglor shook his head and leaned against Esgaron fondly. "This... this was a time when I could pretend to be happy. I think... I would like to share it with you, now that I am."

Esgaron gave him a shy smile. "If you are certain. I would be happy to hear them," he said.

Maglor smiled back and settled next to Esgaron, flipping open the book to smile at the childish drawings. "` _Once upon a time..._ `" he began.

Esgaron watched and listened, looking at the clumsy drawings, trying to envision a young Elrond working so studiously over them. He smiled, though, to see the happiness on Maglor's face as he read. The book was full of scraps of poetry and childhood tales - some from Valinor, others from Middle-earth, and one poem in particular obviously written for the Peredhil by Maglor himself, about a swan maiden and her star prince. There were also several stories about twins getting into trouble. 

"It seems you have a habit of collecting twins, Cano," Esgaron remarked.

Maglor ducked his head, shyly amused. "It seems my road often lies with them, yes. You will be now the... fourth? Yes. Set of twins to come into my life," he said.

"Are my nephews not the fourth? Or have I miscounted?" Esgaron asked, frowning.

Maglor paused to count and then shook his head. "I am getting senile in my old age, and cannot count, yes, you would be the fifth - well, or your nephews are the fifth, and you are still my fourth, eh?"

"I suppose so. But perhaps I am missing one in my damaged memory. There were your brothers, Elrond and his brother, my sister and I, my nephews... and which others?" Esgaron asked.

A shadow crossed Maglor's eyes and he added the missing two: "Eluréd and Elurín. Elrond and Elros' uncles, although they impacted Maedhros more than they impacted me."

"Oh." Esgaron's voice went soft. "I am sorry. Theirs are names I did not know."

Maglor shook his head and brushed a kiss on Esgaron's cheek. "Stop apologising for things you cannot help, my love. In truth, outside of those who study the histories, many have all but forgotten that Elwing had brothers," he said.

There was a brief flinch, but Esgaron did not apologize again. "I wonder if I had ever become a father if I would have sired any twins," he mused.

Maglor shrugged. "That, I cannot say - but considering your family history...."

"Now, Cano, there were no twins in my family aside from distant cousins until my sister and I came along." Esgaron let out a soft breath. "I suppose we will never know."

"True! But you _are_ a twin yourself, and there seems to be precedent for that carrying through..." Maglor turned to hug him a little. "That one thing I cannot give you, my love. But perhaps we could look at adopting or fostering, later."

Esgaron laid his head on Maglor's shoulder again. "I know. And I agreed to our marriage in full knowing. I love _you,_ Cano, regardless of whether our family will ever grow. But it is perhaps a thought for another time."

Maglor reached up to card a hand through golden strands. "Something to think about later," he agreed. "For now, we have only to worry about your healing. ....And. Your parents, who are inevitably on their way there the minute they learn that you are here. I do not know if they know, however - and hopefully no one has sent them word."

"What, that you are here with me? I think they may know. After all, you yourself wrote to tell them that you love me and we intend to marry," Esgaron reminded him.

"..." For a moment, Maglor was silent. "Good point" He buried his head in Esgaron's shoulder. "Ooooh, your mother is going to go all icy cold. And then blackmail me."

Esgaron cuddled Maglor as best he could, kissing the dark hair. "It could be worse. Did I not hear something about you fearing my father's sword? Or was that a dream?" he asked. "In any case, perhaps Erestor will let you hide in his office when they wish to spend time with me. But for now, I just want to enjoy having you here with me."

Maglor made a low whining noise and curled in Esgaron's arms happily, refusing to lift his head. "Oh, I do. Celeborn will be, is, doubtless _most_ wroth with me. But death is only death. Galadriel grew up with me. _You have no idea what she can do._ "

Esgaron quirked a partial smile. "Is that so? Do enlighten me, Cano. What do you expect she will do because you let me seduce you?"

Maglor whined again, pleased that Esgaron was cheering up a little but also in very real memory. "Oh, I do not expect that the seduction will be terribly high on her list. First, she will be sadly disappointed in me for failing to tell her I was alive. Then, she will be coolly aloof because I did not tell her _you_ were alive. _Then_ she will be terribly disapproving over my stupidity in not getting you help sooner. And after _that_ she will express her issues with us getting married," he said. "... And then she will let me stew for a few years while she plots something terribly embarrassing and suitably revengeful." Another groan. "... Although I suppose nothing will beat the time with the statues."

"What time with the statues?" Esgaron asked.

"..........................................I don't want to think about the time with the statues," Maglor whined some more, but relented, turning slightly to peek up at Esgaron. "Promise you will not laugh."

"It hurts too much for me to laugh, Cano. You have my promise," Esgaron assured him. 

Maglor sighed and buried his face back in Esgaron's shoulder but could not hide the flush that emerged slowly at the memory. "Well. Let it never be said that your mother is not creative. You remember, my mother is a sculptor of surpassing skill. Our household had very seldom any portraiture on the wall, beyond that necessary for official needs. Instead, there were sculptures. Of all of us, in varying ages and sizes and... states of dress," he explained, "Your mother found it.... suitable punishment to arrange for several of me to... mysteriously appear, carefully painted to resemble fashionable ladies, complete in... uh, provocatively draped gowns, in locations such as the hall where I was to perform, my examiners' room, and once memorably in the quiet grove my Fal and I liked to sneak off to. She also somehow managed to contrive that they were always seen in great company, so I could not merely put them away but had to find a way to explain their presence."

Nope, Esgaron was not laughing. Nope. ....ok, maybe on the inside. "And how did you earn such a punishment, Cano?" he asked, doing his level best to maintain a straight face.

Still with his face buried in Esgaron's shoulder, Maglor mumbled, "Dunwannatalkaboutit."

"You brought it up, Cano. As a bard, you know the whole story matters," Esgaron pointed out, "...And I will withhold all my kisses until you tell me." Galadriel wasn't the only one who could use blackmail.

Maglor whined theatrically at him but gave in, "I may have, unwisely, made a comment on how she should not come with us to the beach that day or her new white dress would get dirty, and a lady ought not be seen with twigs in her hair and mud on her face. Normally, this would have been taken as reasonable, and would not have been marked upon apart from me having very sore shins from where she kicked me, but I was not paying attention, and did so within earshot of her mother, her tutor, and one of the boys she was sort-of permitting to court her at the time."

"Oh, Cano. Such slander. No wonder that boy did not become my father."

"He was a Vanyar noble anyway. Far too boring for her," Maglor said dismissively.

"Hmmm. Though I might have been born fairer still, were that the case," Esgaron said.

"True." Maglor smiled and tugged fondly on a golden strand. "But if she had wed a Vanyar, she might not have crossed the Sea with us either, and then I would have never met you."

"Unless we were all in the West, should my birth have predated such things. Perhaps I would have gone in her stead," Esgaron mused.

"Perhaps, perhaps. I suppose it does not matter." Maglor kissed the strands tangled in his fingers and looked up at Esgaron fondly. "Either way, this is happiness enough for me."

"What, a hidden guest so you do not panic the other guests while at the side of a former king so broken he is half an invalid?" Esgaron teased. Mostly.

"A secret visitor at the most grand of feasts for the heart," Maglor retorted fondly, "Surrounded by family and in the arms of someone I love, the king of my heart. A more pleasant imprisonment I could scarce imagine."

"I could. One where I am not swathed in bandages and warned off from doing anything strenuous." Esgaron made a face. "And one where I am not in pain so often. I know it will fade eventually, but..." He trailed off into a sigh.

Maglor eyed him carefully and brushed a kiss across his cheek. "True enough. Is it getting too bad again? I hope you heal swiftly, love."

"It aches, yes," Esgaron admitted. "Ah, if only you could just kiss away the pains, Cano... That would be the sweetest."

"I wish I could, my love, I wish I could." Maglor reached up to kiss him properly, slow and sweet. 

"Mmm." Esgaron kissed back lovingly. His mouth wasn't injured, after all. But the kisses became mixed with grimaces as he gingerly moved as if to hold Maglor. "Ahh-- Mmm. I--sorry, Cano. It is like knives in my side if I do not move just right."

Maglor backed off, humming soothingly. "Ah, love, I am sorry."

"Ah, it is not your doing, _mell nín._ I was careless in moving too quickly. Trying to hold you does not work so well with broken limbs," Esgaron said sheepishly.

Maglor nodded, settling back next to Esgaron. "As long as it does not trouble you too much, love. Will you sleep again now, or are you hungry? If I am any judge of time, we are coming close to noon."

"I should try to eat something, I suppose. My healing will require some nourishment, I do not doubt. I could try one of the tarts..." Esgaron said, half to himself.

"They are quite nice." Maglor reached across and snagged one, breaking it into half and offering it to Esgaron. "Here, love - try?"

Esgaron nibbled it carefully. "I shall have to give Erestor my compliments. But I think one is all I can manage right now."

"Mm, if I see him before you I will make sure to tell him you wanted to speak to him about them," Maglor said with a nod, "All right. Shall I see if I can get you some broth or something else light?"

"You make it sound so dire, Cano. Simple thanks will do," Esgaron said. "I think they will send broth again for supper. I still think most of this is for your benefit. I will not always be so tender, but I can do little, so I need little."

"Ah, you have a point." Maglor grinned wryly. "All right, I will tell him so." He smoothed a golden lock. "Mm, I suppose, but I feel terrible eating when you obviously cannot enjoy it."

"It will just make it all the sweeter once I can. Rather like how I intend to enjoy _you_ once I am no longer deemed too fragile. But I do still love when you sing to me and hold me and kiss me. It... is difficult to feel desired so broken," Esgaron said quietly.

Maglor flushed shyly and kissed him again. "You are always desirable to me, Esgaron. However you look."

Esgaron kissed back softly, but didn't try to hold Maglor this time. "And you are to me. Were it not spring, it is almost like those winter days when we would just spend the day curled up together."

Maglor did it for him, instead, nudging closer, brushing gentle hands through his hair, keeping his touches light. "It is, this is true. Often we sat together wasting away the hours, and it seemed to me that I would prefer to waste them than to do anything of substance, for what better use could I find of my time?"

"Time with you is hardly wasted, Cano." Esgaron nuzzled him affectionately.

Maglor kissed the tip of Esgaron's nose fondly. "I am glad you think so, my love, as the only reason I do not spend all my time lying next to you is that we require practicalities to live!"

"I know. But I have many fond memories of just resting snug in your arms, the weather too cold to want to move. It is warm now, but much of me hurts too much to move. I am content in your arms."

"That is good, for here, neither of us need to hunt or move overly, and so I do believe I am feeling rather lazy," Maglor said.

"Is it a good day to just stay in bed together, you think? Though Elrond does not seem to want us doing our usual play until I am better." There was still an edge of annoyance in Esgaron's words.

"A very good day, I think." Maglor nuzzled against Esgaron's jaw fondly. "And yes, that will rather limit our activities, but I like lying next to you and listening to your heart beat just as well."

Esgaron tipped his head to allow Maglor better access. "Mmm. Stay with me then. Your strength and your song..." He gave Maglor a light, nuzzling kiss. "Thank you for keeping it beating."

Maglor brushed gentle, light kisses up Esgaron's jaw. "Thank you for not giving up."

A soft sigh of pleasure welled up in Esgaron. "Apparently, that is one of my more endearing qualities, not knowing when to give up. Especially for someone I love." He shifted a little. "For instance, I keep wanting to try and hold you properly."

Maglor chuckled a little and stopped teasing, wrapping his arms around his lover. "I suppose I should do so instead, hm?"

"Mmm, yes." Esgaron sort of melted into Maglor's embrace. "Healer's orders: take two embraces, cuddles as needed, and kisses in the morning."

Maglor laughed softly, curling his arms around his lover fondly. "Well, then we should obey them, shouldn't we? I do not wish to impede your recovery."

"We truly must. A few extra kisses would not go amiss either, I think. My Cano... Will you hold me while I sleep?" Esgaron asked. He started humming his "tree song" as he rested contentedly in Maglor's arms.

"We had better be certain you have enough," Maglor agreed, fondly kissing him on the cheek before wrapping him in his arms more securely, "Always, my love."

Esgaron quietly watched Maglor. "How is it you know how to make me feel better, Cano? Even when I am frightened or cross? What wizardry do you have?"

Maglor laughed, startled. "I do not know that I do anything special, Esgaron. You make me want to give you the world, so all I can do is try. That it helps is always a marvel."

"Ah." Esgaron lay quietly for a bit, then sighed. "It twinges enough to make me ask for medicine again, but it will only put me back to sleep..."

"True," Maglor murmured, carding gently through golden hair, "But sleep will speed your healing, and if you cannot be up and about, you might as well rest, I suppose. Shall I fetch it for you?"

"I..." For a while, impulses warred, until finally, reluctantly, Esgaron nodded. "...yes."

"All right." Maglor pressed another kiss to Esgaron's brow before untangling himself and heading to where the bottle and cup were sitting neatly on the shelf, pouring Esgaron a measure as he had been taught and coming back to offer it to him. "Here, love, and I will stay with you while you sleep."

Esgaron unhappily accepted the medicine, drinking it in one swallow. He snuggled up as best he could with Maglor. "I am sorry, Cano. You must find me dull company like this."

"You cannot help it, love," Maglor assured him.

It was not long before the edges around Esgaron's world softened and he fell into a deep sleep, and when he did, it was for a long time. More than a day. It was difficult to tell what dreams came to him for the most part, but there were times when he clutched for Maglor and tears slid across his face, disappearing into the pillows or his golden hair. Maglor kissed him gently and curled with him until he slept, and then he stayed by Esgaron's side, politely rebuffing attempts to get Maglor to leave the room, although he did not stay abed unless Esgaron needed him.


	16. A Brother I Once Knew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elrond shares his stories of the Amroth he once knew, while Esgaron struggles to heal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 0\. Happy Valentine's Day, readers! This is a fairly short update, but only because I ended up splitting the chapter because it was getting way too long.

Elrond came by to check on Esgaron while he slept. "How has he been?" he asked.

"I wish I knew what he dreams of," Maglor admitted quietly to his once-fosterling, "For sometimes it seems to distress him greatly. But... mostly, he sleeps fairly peacefully, for which I am grateful. But you are the healer, not I."

Elrond frowned slightly. "He has been through much. It would be enough to distress anyone. Does his mind not open for you?" Doing his best not to disturb his patient, Elrond examined the healing injuries. "He appears to be mending well. How has he been eating? And how long does he sleep at a time?"

"Sometimes. But not when he sleeps, usually. Also I was never particularly good at _osanwe,_ although I do not know if I ever brought it up with you Elrond." He stroked Esgaron's hair. "This time, he has been asleep a long time," he admitted worriedly, "All day, since I gave him the last draught. But normally at least over night."

Elrond nodded. "If you wish to see his dreams, it may be the best way." But the news of how long Esgaron had been asleep deepened his frown and he looked at the bottle. "It seems he has taken more doses than I would have expected." He examined him closely. "He does have a slight fever. His body works hard to repair itself. Keep him cool until he wakes. I will make sure he has something to eat when he wakes next. I expect he will be very hungry."

"It feels almost rude to do so when he is sleeping. Especially as we are not even yet wed!" Maglor stroked the golden head worriedly. "Did I do wrong when he said he needed another dose? He was hurting..."

"Then you will have to hope he remembers them when he wakes." Elrond's tone was matter-of-fact. He looked at Maglor sympathetically. "I do not doubt he was in pain, and I am certain you meant well, but he has taken more than I would have recommended. The effects do add up, and that is why he sleeps so long now. But he will recover, I do not doubt. He should still rest as much as he can for the next few days while the worst heals. The fever shows how fiercely he fights to get better."

"He seldom does, but I will ask." Maglor bowed his head, chastened and worried. "Forgive me, I did not realise... he will be all right? Is there ought I can do to help him?"

Elrond laid a comforting hand on Maglor's shoulder. "He will be all right, and once he recovers fully, stronger than you have ever known him," he assured. "And if I knew Amroth at all, I am sure he tried to fight rest all the while, did he not?" A hint of a smile curled on Elrond's lip. "Just keep him cool until the fever breaks. Cold cloths to his forehead, perhaps a cool sponge bath if that does not seem to help. And if he asks for more medicine... Only a dose every four hours. Less if he does not eat. But he should not need it as much once he wakes."

"He did not like it," Maglor agreed, "He dislikes being confined and unable to do anything. He misses the trees." He listened and nodded. "I can do that. And I will remember. _Thank you,_ Elrond."

Elrond looked amused. "I am quite sure he does. And it is no trouble. After all, that is why you came. And you? Is there anything that you need?"

"I know - but you have been unstintingly generous, and I am so grateful." Maglor shook his head. "Not really - you have given me so much already. The only thing I would ask is that meals be brought here while he sleeps? I do not want to leave him."

"Of course." Elrond agreed easily. And after a pause, "Do you wish to hear my stories of him?"

Maglor looked up at Elrond in surprise and then eagerness. "Yes, please. But... tell me of you, as well?"

Elrond smiled fondly. "Very well. Where would you like me to begin?"

Maglor smiled and settled back. "Tell me of you and Celebrían. Tell me of the life you built, and the brother-in-law you met."

Elrond smiled back at him, actually a little sheepishly this time. "Of the two, he was the one I met first. We fought together and to see him in battle was... dazzling. Like a figure from the stories you told me as a child, side by side with his father and then again with the Dwarves. But, I would learn later that, for all his valor, he is a gentle soul with no taste for bloodshed. I was not nearly as successful as he in those battles. My forces were all but destroyed and I was routed north and escaped to this very valley. Imladris was a far smaller and simpler place then. As the war waned, to my surprise, Celeborn joined me here. I thought he would have gone back with his son, but he did not. However, it was through Celeborn I learned that Amroth was a builder, and I wrote to him for advice and ideas as Imladris grew."

Elrond glanced at the old plans that Erestor had loaned them. "Those very plans, actually. But, of course, it would not take long before Celeborn's family came looking for him. One day, I was alerted that we had guests, and there was Lady Galadriel, and with her, Celebrían. I had never before laid eyes on a creature so lovely, and then and there, I knew. But with her parents ever at hand, I never found the courage to tell her, and busied myself with other duties with the White Council and the vice-regency..." He shook his head. "They stayed here a long time. Centuries, in fact, and she and I became dear friends. Then, they left Imladris for Belfalas, and I wrote Celebrían as often as I could. I do not think I could count the number of times I nearly confessed my feelings to her in those letters."

Maglor listened avidly and laughed softly. "Oh, Elrond. Ever the reticent one. I am sure my cousin would not have minded your interest, you know! Ah, I can hardly think of Esgaron fighting, but I can imagine he must have been both brilliant and terrible. And I am sure you underestimate yourself and were equally brilliant."

Elrond gave him a wry look. "It was not her _mother_ I was concerned about. It was Celeborn, my friend and guest for 4 years prior to our meeting. How do you express interest in a man's daughter after that? Not to mention Amroth himself. He was quite angry with me in the aftermath of that first war, which was deeply worrisome for me, as at that point, I had only ever seen him as a valiant and fierce warrior-prince. It was Celeborn who assured me he was not always of such a temper. Still, I had his entire family living here with me for many years on end, while he remained behind in Lothlórien. Aside from visits, none of them returned to those woods until we heard word that Amroth was lost. His anger cooled after a few centuries, yet... When we formed the Last Alliance, Amroth was the only one who refused the call. He had his reasons, but I always feared it was partly because of long-held animosities. After the war, Amroth became king, but the _ellon_ I saw crowned was very different than the warrior I once knew. And we did become friends again. That war took its toll on all of us. But, I wasted no time afterward in asking Celebrían to allow me to court her at long last. We married a little more than a century later, after she insisted on making up for two thousand years of lost time."

"You ask," Maglor said, amused. "But I am sorry to hear that things were hard between you and Amroth, and glad that you found an accord. But happier still again to know that you found your joy with Celebrían, for you deserve every happiness. I saw your sons and your daughter, and they are a credit to you and your wife, and I cannot thank you enough for allowing me in."

Elrond glanced down fondly at the sleeping Elf. "I suppose all brothers must have their quarrels. And I learned how kind, warm and devoted he was once he stopped being angry with me for stealing his family away. Just know, if you have yet to see his temper, he can be quite terrifying when wroth. I hope you never see it." He nodded. "It all worked out in the end, and we could not be happier. And you are always welcome here, even if we must keep your visits quiet. And I am glad you have him. You both deserve your happinesses as well."

"That much is true," Maglor agreed with a wry grin, remembering the occasionally very loud screaming matches in his own family, although in later years they tended towards angry hisses and slammed doors, and arguments in Quenya so young ears would not understand (this lasted up until Elrond demonstrated that he had an aptitude for language and a basic understanding of Quenya, and then they simply kept their arguments behind closed doors). "And he has been... quite angry at me before, although I have not seen him in full flight, yet. Thank you, Elrond. You offer me more than I ever expected."

Elrond raised an eyebrow. "I still find it difficult to believe you would have angered him that much. And you are welcome. After all, you once took me in when you did not have to. The least I can do is return the favor. Is there anything else you wish right now?"

"Oh we argue - never believe that we do not! But I do not think I have seen him truly furious yet - not the way you describe." Maglor ducked his head shyly. "If not for us, you would not have needed someone to take you in at all, but thank you. At present, no - I am well."

A wry smile from Elrond. "Ah, well, there were several hundred years where he refused to speak to me or anyone in his family. All in the past now, at least." Elrond nodded. "Very well. I will come and check on you again soon."

Maglor raised his eyebrow in surprise. "Well! His mother's stubbornness runs true, I see. I will have to ensure that I never make him that angry," he said. "Thank you. I will see you then."

Elrond bade Maglor farewell.

After a while, Esgaron began to stir. It was dark when he woke, and at first he just lay still and quiet, the only real clue to his wakefulness being the soft light in his eyes. Maglor was sitting by the window when Esgaron woke, humming softly as he listened to the sounds of the valley and watching the sky. It was not without difficulty, but Esgaron slowly got up and limped to Maglor's side, looking like a pale ghost in the moonlight.

"What do you see?" he asked, his voice hoarse with rustiness.

"Hello, love." Maglor blinked a little and focused on Esgaron, shifting to make room for him, "I was watching the stars. Gil-Estel seems brighter, over the Valley. Perhaps Eärendil misses his son."

Esgaron rested his chin on Maglor's shoulder. "It is bright. ...I hope I am not bothering you?"

"No." Maglor turned and wrapped his arms around Esgaron fondly. "I was just remembering, is all."

"Oh." Esgaron softly bit his lower lip, an anxious gesture. "...how long was I asleep?"

Maglor brought a hand up to card soothingly through golden locks. "A while, this time. A day and a night. I might have overdosed you on the draught, I fear, but Elrond thinks you needed the rest."

At that proximity, Maglor could surely feel that the fever hadn't quite broken yet. "It hurts less... but I still feel... strange," Esgaron mused.

Maglor checked Esgaron's temperature and hummed softly, worried. "You are still running a fever, love. I hope there is no infection that we are missing, although Elrond thought it rather a sign of healing. Come back to bed? I will fetch you water and a cold compress."

"Have I not been abed long enough?" Esgaron groused. Still, he sighed, and obediently let Maglor put him back to bed. "...remind me again why we thought this was a good idea?"

"Well, if you were Elrond or Elros in their youth, I might expect a indignant refusal to return to bed, yes," Maglor said dryly, and brought him a cool drink and towel to lay on his head. "I am sorry, love - I wanted you to feel better, and your wounds to pain you less. I fear the road to recovery will strain your patience."

Esgaron grimaced, but sipped the water and laid back so Maglor could put the cloth on his head. "...I suppose I do sound like a child. Not a kingly figure at all. Cano, I..." He did not finish the thought aloud, instead trailing off into a wordless gesture of frustration, helplessness and despair.

Maglor caught that hand and kissed his palm. "It is not your fault, love - you are hurting and unwell, and I would honestly be more surprised and worried if you did _not_ protest somewhat."

Esgaron stroked Maglor's cheek with the bandaged fingers of his caught hand. "...I miss seeing you look on me with want instead of worry. I am weary of fear and pain," he murmured.

Maglor turned to kiss the fingers fondly. "Ah, my love. If only I could take away your pain. I wish I could speed your healing."

"Not just mine, Cano. _Yours_ as well. I know it pains you to see me like this."

"A little, but my pain is only because you suffer, and that you suffer so is at least in part because I delayed in getting you aid," Maglor admitted.

"You did what you could, Cano. I was not hurting before you brought me here. I felt well, memories and dark dreams aside," Esgaron said.

Maglor sighed softly and kissed Esgaron's palm again. "I still feel that I should have done more."

"You can do more right here, starting with a proper kiss." Esgaron tugged Maglor down so he could.

Maglor gave a startled laugh and his eyes were very fond. "Of course, as my king commands," he cooed. He was not at all shy about kissing him properly - after all, they were quite alone right then.

"You tease me." But Esgaron's complaint was quickly lost in Maglor's kisses, his lover's touch feeling strange against his fevered skin. He sighed a little. "I love you, Cano. Elrond was afraid the procedures might affect how I felt about you. Remembering forgotten feuds and who knows what else. But I do not think it has...."

"Perhaps a little." Maglor smiled at him and kissed him gently, smoothing golden hair back from flushed skin. "Ah, my love. Elrond was not the only one. But I told you I would stay until you sent me away, and I meant it."

"I do not want you to go away. I want you here with me. Though... it is beginning to hurt again... Could I have just a little? And then you to hold me?" Esgaron asked.

Maglor kissed him again fondly. "For that, I am very grateful, my love." He considered the request. "I think it should be well - Elrond said I could give you some if I kept the doses far apart enough, so it should be well, since you have been asleep for a while now." Suiting actions to words, he got up to do so.

"I will probably fall asleep again... But you are my best medicine. Your touch, your voice... And soon I will be able to hold you again. Soon," Esgaron mused.

"Soon enough," Maglor agreed, measuring a dose carefully and bringing it back to him, noting the time so he could space the doses out properly, "Do you want another cold compress, love?"

"I..." Esgaron seemed to belatedly notice the previous one had fallen off. "...oh." He bit at his lip. "...no, Cano. _Thank you,_ but... no. I much prefer your cool hands than the cloth. And the warmth of your arms. I... I know my _fëa_ burns so hot I am fevered, but I feel... cold. Like an autumn breeze cutting through a summer afternoon..." He eyed the cup with reluctant resignation, but he _did_ ask for it and so he accepted the dose. "Stay with me? Please? My dreams turn... strange."

"That can happen with fevers." Maglor slid back into bed with him. "Of course, love - whatever eases you. Strange how, Esgaron? Not the nightmares again?"

"Yes... No... I..." Esgaron faltered. "I remember very little, but there were some like others. Dark places. And... figures. I could not see their faces. They wanted me to go somewhere. Said they had been waiting for me. I did not want to go..."

"Oh, love." Maglor wrapped careful arms around Esgaron and kissed him lightly. "I am sorry that even like this you cannot rest easy. I am glad you stay here though. Do you want me to sing for you?"

"If you would, yes. I would hear you sing. I did not want to go, because if I did, it would mean leaving you..." Esgaron nestled in, still awkward with slings and splints and bandages. Softly, he sighed, waiting for the medicine to take effect and draw him back down into the darkness of sleep. But for the moment, he was bright, burning with silver fire in the moonlight. 

"I am glad you did not," Maglor murmured and nodded, "Of course I will, love."

This lasted only a few minutes of stillness before Esgaron began to squirm. "Ah, Cano, no, my shirt feels as if it weighs too heavily on my skin. I want it off. Help me?"

When Esgaron squirmed, Maglor put a hand up to check his temperature. "Ai! You are so hot again, Esgaron. Here, I will help you with your shirt, and then I think I will get you a compress."

It was a bit of an awkward struggle to get him out of his shirt with the broken arm, and he looked anxiously at Maglor. Esgaron was so bright in the dark, aglow with moonlight. "...is it truly that bad?" he asked softly.

Maglor brushed his lover's cheek fondly. "So bright you shine tonight, my love, but you are warmer than I like."

Esgaron turned his face to kiss Maglor's hand. "I doubt I am this bright if I am not running hot. A shame. I think you enjoy me so bright."

"You glow," Maglor said fondly, "As if the Moon himself blessed you. But I would rather it not be because you were fevered."

"Mmm." The edges of Esgaron's world were beginning to soften and feather again, but still he looked to Maglor. "And if I were this bright _without_ fever...?" His head was half-raised expectantly, tilted just so, lips parted as if to invite a kiss. 

Well, if he was being so delightfully obliging, who was Maglor to refuse him? Maglor closed the distance between them to kiss him, gentle and sweet. "Then I would wonder if you were a dream indeed," he murmured.

Esgaron accepted the kiss, his lips soft. "...I wonder if I, too, am not dreaming..."

"Then this is a dream I have little wish to wake from," Maglor said softly, leaving the kiss to nuzzle fondly against him. Esgaron nuzzled back, but between the fever and the medicine, his eyes were starting to get a glazed look to them.

"Better this dream than some. Better than red swords in the dark. Better that I have you, my lovely, to bring me kisses, to cool me when I am overhot..." There was a bit of a slur to Esgaron's speech, his consonants losing their crispness.

"Ah, love, if I could take the dreams from you, I would," Maglor said sorrowfully. "Rest, Esgaron, rest, I am here, my sweet one."

Esgaron laid back in the bedclothes with a soft moan. "I am glad..."

Maglor replaced the cloth, although it was a little dry by then, and curled beside him, crooning gently, trying to give him a bit of comfort.

" _Hush my love and close your eyes_  
_Rest in comfort and fear no night_  
_Here there is no fear of harm_  
_Rest and sleep here in my arms._ "

Esgaron snuggled into Maglor, bright head tucked into its familiar spot as sleep overtook him. The fever broke shortly before dawn, heralded by the fading aura of light around him and a sudden bout of shivering as his skin cooled and became a bit clammy. He whimpered and pressed close, seeking Maglor's warmth. Esgaron was clearly feeling much better, though, as his body began to react to the closeness as he slept. Maglor stayed by his side, changing the compresses as needed until the fever broke, crooning softly in hopes that it would help. He flushed a little as Esgaron's body started to react and experimentally tried to untangle them, although he wouldn't leave, if Esgaron didn't let go.

"'s cold, Cano..." Esgaron was not quite alert, just stirring in that stage between sleep and wakefulness. He kept gravitating toward the warmth, fingers stretching out for Maglor. "Want you..."

"All right, love." Maglor could not refuse him, not when he reached for him that way, so he brought the blanket and tucked them both in again. "Here I am. Go back to sleep, Esgaron."

"Mmm." Esgaron snuggled in again, brushing sleepy, lazy, nuzzling kisses against Maglor's shoulder. "...love you..."

Maglor wrapped his arms around Esgaron snugly and brushed a kiss to his forehead fondly. "And I love you. Go back to sleep." Esgaron settled back down, breathing softening again. 

"...don't let go..."

He barely whispered the words before he was asleep again.

"I won't," Maglor promised softly, and true to his word stayed curled up with him, humming softly as he guarded Esgaron's sleep as best he could.


	17. Higher and Higher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Esgaron's healing progress takes them to new heights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 0\. A wild update appears! Sorry it took a while--this was a long one.  
> 1\. Some sensuality in this chapter again, the usual kisses and handjobs.

It was close to midday by the time Esgaron woke up again, but he didn't open his eyes just then. Instead, he started to slowly, absently trace designs over whatever part of Maglor just happened to be under his fingers.

As Esgaron absently traced his chest, as it turned out, Maglor reached out to trap the wandering fingers and kiss them. "Awake, love?" he asked.

"...for certain definitions of it." Esgaron opened his eyes a little, still mostly shaded by his lashes. "Am I to remain abed today?"

Maglor smiled at him fondly. "That depends, I think, on how you are feeling."

"Restless. I have been asleep too much since Elrond treated me. Unable to move well, to do things for myself, at the mercy of either pain or fog and sleep if I took something to fight it. No more. I have never been meant for such things," he groused. "I feel like a right mess." Esgaron crinkled his nose in distaste. "How long has it even _been_ since my last bath?" he asked. "And..." A sigh. "I feel," he said as he slipped his hand out of Maglor's and went back to tracing absent patterns over him, "that I am the worst lover. And deeply in your debt. I have kept you trapped in this room, in this bed, for... I do not even know how many days, and for what reward? And do not _dare_ say that my improved health is reward enough." Even only half-open, there was a dangerous flash in Esgaron's eyes. "It is not fair to you, and I will not hear such lies, even if meant to placate my mood. You deserve something in return," he insisted. "That is how I am feeling, Cano."

"Well, it is, and I do not lie in the saying," Maglor pointed out amusedly. "We came here for your healing, after all. As for a bath - it _has_ been a few days now. Since the fever has broken, we should be able to get you a bath, I think." He closed the distance between them to brush a gentle kiss across Esgaron's lips. "I do not feel neglected, love, do not think so."

Esgaron made a sound somewhere between a derisive snort and a half-hearted growl. He nipped at Maglor's lips when he pulled back from the kiss. Maglor made a mock yelp noise when he did. "It still is not fair to you. Especially as I must ask another favor in helping me clean up. I... am not sure what is and is not allowed to get wet with all these bandages..." Esgaron said.

"Maybe, but I truly do not mind, love." Maglor nodded. "Well, we need to ask for help to fill the bathtub, in any case - I will fetch Elrond, and we shall see?"

Esgaron grimaced as he sat up. " _Must_ we fetch him, Cano?"

Maglor offered him a hand as he did. "Well... I can avoid it a bit longer if you want, love - but he probably does need to check and see eventually?"

Just then, there was a knock. Too delicate to be Elrond or Lindir, or even Erestor. A moment later, a silvery head popped into the room.

"Afternoon... Just wanted to check on you. I have not gotten to see much of either of you since we arrived, and the staff tells me that my brother has mostly been asleep during that time..." Celebrían smiled at him and laughed. "Oh... I know that scowl. A good sign--you must be feeling better." She looked to Maglor. "I am so sorry, Maglor, I forgot to warn you. This one is the absolute worst healing patient imaginable. Even as children, if he had to get healing, he never liked it. Fussing, complaining, scowling _just like that._ But that was how we knew he was just about back to normal."

Esgaron's glare deepened at her, but he didn't say anything.

"Ah," Maglor said dryly and bowed to her properly, "Good afternoon, lady. Thank you for telling me so, but that is comforting news all the same. Love?" He nudged Esgaron gently. "Would you let your sister look instead?"

Esgaron sighed. "...I suppose."

She approached her brother. "I may not be quite as good a healer as Elrond, but he taught me well. Now, let me see..." She carefully examined him, gently manipulating his limbs, feeling the heat of his skin through his bandages. "Things are coming along beautifully. Still need to be immobilized a little while longer, but the bones seem to be knitting well. Much sooner than expected, actually. Well done at getting him to stay put long enough for them to do so, Maglor."

Maglor let her work, but stayed close and he ducked his head a little at the praise. "Your brother is truly not that bad a patient, Celebrían. He has put up with my fussing with a good deal of patience," he said.

"Has he now? Well, if you do not mind his grumbling and scowling, who am I to argue?" She shrugged. "I am glad to see him doing better. Is there anything you need at the moment?" she asked.

Esgaron shrugged, a gesture very similar to his sister's, but he looked to Maglor a little hopefully, running his fingers through the ends of his golden hair as if trying to fingercomb it into cleanliness.

"A bath?" Maglor requested, reaching over to squeeze Esgaron's fingers, "And... combs and brushes, maybe?"

Celebrían raised an eyebrow. "I suppose that could be arranged. It might take a little time, but we could. The bandages could use some freshening up anyway," she mused, "Any other requests?"

Esgaron squeezed Maglor's fingers back. "Well... perhaps something to eat...?" he asked.

"Aye, that would be welcome," Maglor agreed with Esgaron, "And - if you can persuade your husband, lady - permission to move about a little more?"

"A meal is easily enough brought. Do you wish anything in particular from the kitchens?" She asked, and met Maglor's request with another raised eyebrow. "And where do you wish to be able to move to?"

"Something more than soup?" Esgaron requested, "And... Just... anywhere, really."

"Up, by preference," Maglor said dryly, "Your brother misses the trees, Celebrían. But outside, or... anywhere that is not this room, yes. And I mind not, in terms of food."

She hesitated for a moment. "Elrond was quite clear. No climbing until the bones have healed properly. You are to be _gentle_ with him, Maglor," she insisted. "As for other rooms... Well, there are places back here where you are welcome. A library, a solar... I was under the impression that you both wished to keep your presences unknown by our other guests. The farther you wander, the less secret we can keep you."

Esgaron's face fell in disappointment. "...I understand. But you know this is hard for me," he said quietly.

"I know." Maglor nodded. "But stairs... I can carry him up, surely? I cannot manage a tree, but is there an attic, perhaps, or rooftop we could visit? If we pick when the household sits at board, for example..."

Esgaron looked hopeful, squeezing Maglor's fingers tightly, brushing his own touch over them. "Please?" he chimed in.

There was more hesitation, and then she sighed. "You would do better to ask the twins. But there are some lookout towers that might work for you," Celebrían conceded. 

"Perhaps if you send them word to visit, so that I do not have to venture too far to find them?" Maglor suggested. He nodded, squeezing back.

"But, come, let me draw the bath for you." She moved to the wash area and worked to get it going. "I will let the two of you take it from there."

"Thank you, Celebrían," Maglor said graciously. 

"Of course. On both counts. I will let the twins know you are wanting them to visit," she replied. "Let us know if you need anything else."

"Thank you," Esgaron said. Maglor bowed slightly to Celebrían in thanks and he squeezed Esgaron's hand fondly when she left. 

After she departed, Esgaron turned to Maglor. "I will need some help, Cano, please, for the bath."

"Of course, love - let's get you over to the tub while the water is warm, hm?" Maglor agreed.

"Please." Esgaron got up, hobbling a little on his splinted leg. Once he was close to the tub, he carefully tried to get out of the rest of his clothes.

Maglor walked with him, letting him do as much as he was capable, but there and supportive for whatever he needed. He would help Esgaron with the bits of clothing too hard for him to manage. "Here, let me help?" he offered.

"...thank you." Esgaron flashed him a grateful look. Fortunately, Maglor was able to help him shed the rest of his clothes and undo his bandages. "...does it look bad, Cano? My injuries?" For the most part, aside from some bruising, he looked well enough. Meanwhile, he gave the water a wary look. "...would you join me?"

Maglor dropped a fond kiss on Esgaron's shoulder. "No - you look to be healing well. Some bruising remains, but otherwise I think you will be well very soon. It seems that long sleep did you good." His hands tightened encouragingly on Esgaron's shoulders even as his voice teased lightly, "You know, we are supposed to be behaving right now." But then his hands left Esgaron's shoulders to reach for his own buttons and ties. "Of course I will, love."

"I meant--! I meant because the water still makes me afraid. Because I am still clumsy and not-yet-healed," Esgaron protested, "But..." He lightly traced a finger over Maglor's bare chest as his clothes fell away. "I would rather be your beloved than your patient," he murmured, "And just... if I may..." He lingered in Maglor's arms for a little bit, just breathing in their closeness, the warmth of skin next to skin, taking comfort in Maglor's presence.

Maglor laughed softly, and shivered under Esgaron's fingers, wrapping his arms around him and carding a hand through golden hair fondly. "I know, love, I know."

Esgaron kissed Maglor gently. "I love you, Cano," he said, "...I suppose we should get in. Help me...?"

Maglor kissed him back, sweet and gentle. "Before it gets too cold, yes. Shall I carry you, love?"

"If you can manage it all right. I do not want you to get hurt too," Esgaron said. He looped his arms around Maglor's neck, a bit awkwardly with the broken one, and braced for the lift.

"I'll be careful - 'tis not as if we've far to go!" Maglor teased gently and tried to lift without jarring Esgaron before hefting them both into the tub. "There, are you all right, love?"

Esgaron clung to Maglor, and once in the tub, did his best to burrow into his beloved's protective embrace. "I... I think so, as long as you are close."

Maglor held him close and ran his fingers through Esgaron's hair gently, trying to soothe, and pressed gentle kisses on his cheeks. "I am here, love. I am not going anywhere," Maglor promised.

"I know. Thank you..." He kissed Maglor, long and soft and slow, hands brushing through dark locks. "Just be gentle with me?"

Maglor shivered and sighed softly into the kiss, and disengaged reluctantly. "Always, love, but you are a dratted tempter, when I am supposed to be being good!" he chided.

"I could say the same for you." Esgaron nuzzled lovingly. "Help me wash?"

Maglor chuckled at him and pulled the soap and cloth over. "We are equally bad, I suppose," he said, "Yes of course." He was careful, trying to avoid getting soap on any open wounds, although he could not quite resist stealing the occasional kiss.

Esgaron happily accepted every kiss, and color started to rise in his cheeks at the feel of Maglor's hands on his body. "I suppose we are. But I do love this." Esgaron nuzzled more, and he was definitely beginning to react to his lover's touch. 

Maglor saw and reluctantly stopped, not wanting to push the boundaries too far, although he stole one last kiss. "You are so beautiful, love. But I really should stop," he said.

For a moment, Esgaron looked genuinely stricken by this, hurt and rejection flashing across his face. "Cano? ...are you afraid you would be too rough with me?" he asked at last.

Instinctively, Maglor reached to tangle their fingers together, wanting to comfort. "Yes," he admitted, "Elrond was so firm that I not push you too far, that I let you rest and heal properly. I do not know how far is too far. I do not want to hurt you."

Esgaron's expression hardened into resignation. "...help me with my hair, and then we can get out. I would do yours, but... Broken fingers. I would be very clumsy," he said.

"Sorry," Maglor said mournfully, and nodded. "I can worry about my hair later. Here, love, turn around and I will do yours."

Esgaron shifted carefully until his back was to Maglor and access to his shining hair unfettered and unblocked. He did not speak. Maglor was gentle and careful but thorough - Esgaron had been sleeping on that for several days, and then there was the storm before that. So he made sure to get the worse of the knots out with his fingers before he even started to scrub. Esgaron was patient, and quiet. He sighed a little to feel Maglor's fingers scrubbing his hair clean and then making sure it was well-rinsed.

"It does feel better..." he said softly.

"Nothing quite like being clean again, hm?" Maglor smiled and tugged once fondly on the golden strands in his hands. "Will you need a hand getting out?"

"It is nice. Thank you," Esgaron said, "And... a little help. Please."

"Of course." Maglor lifted him carefully out of the tub, and indulged in carrying him over to the bed, since it was so close. "Need you a hand with your clothes, love?"

"Hmmm. Yes. There should be fresh ones in the drawer over there..." Esgaron said.

"Let me see... ah! Here we are," Maglor said. ".........." He paused, and then said, amused, "The twins, I suspect, or your sister, obviously like the idea of you in white."

That earned a raised eyebrow from Esgaron. "...is that really the only color they provided?" he asked.

Maglor hummed, rifling through the drawer, "Yes. This _must_ be the twins' work, for I see a startling lack of any other colour except as ornamentation. I think we will need to have a word with them, when they come."

"What about the clothes put here for you? I presume I am not the only one they left extra garments for?" Esgaron pressed.

"Also all white," Maglor informed him dryly, and brought a fresh set over for them both. "I am not _entirely_ sure what they were thinking."

And right on time came the _tap tap tap_ of the door.

"Uncles?" one of the twins asked.

Not yet dressed, Esgaron draped a towel over himself. "Yes, nephew?"

Maglor hurriedly yanked a pair of trousers on and went to the door, towel thrown over his shoulders. "Hello, miscreants - is there a reason there is nothing but white in our clothes press?" he asked.

"We thought you might like something--"  
"--to wear in--"  
"-his colours!" they chorused, and then in low voices, "Also, did we interrupt?"

"No, no, nothing was interrupted. You just caught us fresh from a bath is all. I am still clumsy with broken fingers," Esgaron explained.

"Nothing, and that was thoughtful, but did you have to replace _everything?_ " Maglor asked.

" _Oh!_ Right, of course!"  
"Sorry, we--"  
"--forgot!"  
"Not that you were injured!"  
"But how long it takes to heal."

The twins threw a cheeky grin at Maglor." "You don't like it?"

"But in honesty--"  
"--most of yours were almost rags, uncle."  
"--And you didn't have much to start with, Uncle A."  
"So the tailors are busy, but--"  
"--these are the few things that fit from the healing wing."

"I do hope you are not planning to send me back home with nothing but a white wardrobe. My clothes were in good condition. I obtained them from the Silvan. I promised Cano I would dress in white for the wedding, but it is not a practical color for our lifestyle," Esgaron said, frowning slightly.

"'Tis not that I do not _like,_ you two..." Maglor sighed. "And when will the tailors be done?"

"Oh no! We promise--"  
"--the tailors have a few different colours to choose from."  
"But these ones are the spares."  
"And _Nana_ said you wanted--"  
"--to ask us something?"

"Ah... yes. You two seem like the sort to suss out a place's secrets..." Esgaron said, looking his nephews over thoughtfully, "Where are the best places to climb? The highest vantage points? Ways to access the roofs, perhaps?"

Maglor shook his head a little at the twins, but he had to agree that his own clothes were probably little better than rags -- but they were also the last things he had left of his old life, so he was a little... sentimental. "And what did you do with my old clothes then, scamps?" he asked.

"The balconies!"  
"Yes, on the east side... oh--"  
"--yeah, no you don't want to go there, we used to use those--"  
"--when we wanted to spy on the events in the Hall of Fire."  
"Too many people about."  
"Quiet places - the attics, remember?"  
"Oh yes, in the family wing. But they're inside."  
"Mm, roof access is harder but..."  
"Wait, do you think the scullery door is still left unlocked?"  
"Might be! That's the best way to get to the roof."

They looked up. "We can take you tonight, if you want?" the twins offered.

"Will I be able to get there, injured as I am, nephews?" Esgaron asked. He still looked hopeful.

Maglor squeezed Esgaron's hand in support. "I can carry him a little way, at need, but not up ladders and such," he said.

The twins exchanged speaking looks before Elladan cautiously volunteered, "There are quite a few steps, but the scullery door _does_ have steps, and relatively broad ones."

"It won't take you to the topmost towers," Elrohir added and nodded, "But up to the roof of the kitchens. We used to use it as a hiding spot."

"The roof is nice and flat, for sunning and drying food, also access to the chimneys," Elladan finished.

"It is a start. Thank you. Would you show it to us?" Esgaron asked.

"Sure!" the twins chorused.

"At lunch," Elladan suggested, "When it is all quiet and everyone is busy at board."

Maglor nodded and turned to Esgaron. "Will you be able to manage those stairs, love?" he asked.

"I do not know. But I can try," Esgaron said. "But first, I should be rebandaged, and dressed and... I am hungry..."

"Stairs, I can help with," Maglor agreed, "And he is not the only one!"

"Food we can do!" the twins said eagerly.

"That's a good sign - if you're hungry!" said one.

"What do you want?" asked the other.

"Ah--" Esgaron paused to consider. Best not to overdo it after having recently had such a delicate appetite. "Something more substantial than soup? Maybe fruit with cheese and nuts?" 

"Perhaps a bit of a stew, with fish, or shredded chicken might go well enough?" Maglor suggested.

The twins did a hurried consult and then Elrohir nodded and took off down the corridor.

"He's going to check how busy the kitchens are," Elladan explained, "And grab you a picnic lunch, and maybe a snack, for now. I'll wait outside until you're changed, and then if you feel up to it and the coast is clear, I'll take you there."

"Thank you," Esgaron said. He waited for Elladan to leave, and then looked to Maglor. "Cano? Will you help me?"

"Of course, love." Maglor came over with a clean tunic and pants for him. "Do you think you will be up for the trek when Elrohir gets back?"

"Possibly. Think my ribs should be rebandaged? Or are they set well enough now?" Esgaron wondered.

"Does it hurt overly when you breathe?" Maglor asked. "I had instructions that as soon as you could do so without significant pain I was to stop doing so, to let your lungs expand."

Esgaron took a few, slow, deep breaths. "It twinges some, but I can manage, I think." He gave Maglor a wry smile. "So just the arm, leg, fingers and toes, then? Elrond said those would take at least a month, if not two, to heal fully."

Maglor echoed the wry grin back at him and closed the distance to kiss him briefly. "Then we will leave off the ribs while we work on the rest of you, eh?"

Esgaron let the kiss linger as long as Maglor would allow. "As you say, Cano," he said, "Does it look as if they have all healed straight? It is difficult for me to tell."

Maglor hummed thoughtfully as he replaced the bandages, eyeing the injuries critically. "They seem straight enough to me," he judged, "Although, obviously, I am no healer, and Elrond might disagree."

"Good. I feel more at ease with you assuring me I am lovely if things are healing straight," Esgaron said.

Maglor shook his head fondly and kissed him again. "Oh, Esgaron. You would be lovely even if they were all crooked. But yes, my lovely vain one, they do seem to be healing straight."

Esgaron sighed into the kiss. "If I am vain, it is for your benefit. But, alas, my nephews await." He reached for the clothes, awkwardly trying to get into them.

"Well, you are as lovely as ever, my golden one. And yes, I suppose they do - they have been _most_ patient - but I suppose they are perhaps a bit sorry for the trick with the clothes." Maglor helped where he was needed, doing buttons and laces, mostly. "There now, you are presentable. A shirt for me, and we can go."

Esgaron waited for Maglor to finish dressing, and got up to follow him, a little off-balance with his injured leg. "Ready, Cano?"

"Ready, love." Maglor finished quickly and came over to help support him. "Elladan? Elrohir?" he called. 

"Yes?" Elladan stuck his head back in and grinned. "Aw, you match!"

Esgaron smiled. "White becomes you, Cano," he said, "But we wish to eat. And then to the rooftop, please."

"We match because you only left us matching clothes, you scamp. Is Elrohir back?" Maglor chided. He ducked his head shyly a little at Esgaron's praise. "If you say so, love."

Elladan grinned and did not deny it, but he nodded in answer, pulling open the door to let Elrohir in. 

"I told Cook you were feeling better, so he packed some of the bread from this morning, fruit, cold meat and I think there's a stew in here as well," Elrohir said. He brought the basket in and set it on the table. "There should be enough that you can take the leftovers up to the roof for a picnic, if you don't want to eat it all now," he continued, "I snagged some of the new cider too, if you want to try it."

"Thank you, nephews. It sounds like a feast indeed," Esgaron said.

"A fine one, yes, I agree." Maglor raised an eyebrow at the spread. "Did you want to start on that now, Esgaron?"

"We can come back later, if you want to eat now?" Elladan offered.

"Please. Yes. I have not had a proper full meal since... days ago," Esgaron said.

"Yes, thank you, nephews. Perhaps if you can return... mm, perhaps in the evening? Should we star-watch, love?" asked Maglor.

"Sure! We can do that. Will that suit, Uncle?" the twins asked.

"Yes, that will do. Stargazing sounds wonderful. Dinner even more so," Esgaron agreed.

"Off with the two of you then, and we will see you at dinner." Maglor shooed them fondly. "It will be a lovely picnic, under the stars." He smiled at Esgaron. "Almost like home, hm? Although it has not been warm enough for us to do it outside."

"We'll bring something hot for dinner then!" Elladan grinned at his twin. "Didn't Erestor say he was going to make mulled wine this evening?"

"Can you take alcohol yet, Uncle A.?" Elrohir thought to ask, "And Cook will have venison for dinner tonight, if you want us to bring you some!"

"The worst of my ailments right now are broken bones. I do not think a little wine will affect them much. And venison would be most welcome," Esgaron said. He cozied up closer to Maglor. "Being like at home will be nice."

Maglor hugged him back gently. "It will, indeed. Thank you, nephews - that would be very kind."

"We will see you later then!" the twins said, "Expect us some time after the dinner bell rings!" And with that, they vanished.

Esgaron's eyes were bright. "So. Alone for the moment. Dinner to await us. This may be my best day since arriving," he purred.

Maglor laughed softly in answer and kissed him as he reached for the basket and pulled the bounty over. "And just think, my love, with you healing apace, it will only get better, one hopes!"

Esgaron's answering kiss was hungry. As was his actual appetite. Esgaron was all but snatching the food from Maglor as he pulled it from the basket. "That would be my hope as well, Cano."

"Then let us hope the long rest and now the good food will do their work, and swiftly!" Maglor laughingly surrendered Esgaron's share as swiftly as he could.

Proper table manners were pretty much going right out the window, between the healing fingers and the sudden vengeful return of Esgaron's appetite, and he probably actually took more than his share. "Maybe Elrond or someone has ways to make it swifter yet."

"Maybe." Maglor smiled to see him actually able to eat again, and let Esgaron take as much as he needed. "We can certainly ask! Careful not to overdo it, love, I do not wish for you to get a stomachache!"

"Mmm, fine." Esgaron made himself slow down some. "Truly, Cano, how long has it been since I last ate properly?"

"Quite a few days." Maglor considered, thinking back. "You did not do more than nibble during the storm, but then... once we were rested here, we went almost straight into the healing rooms with Elrond, and after you had no appetite. So... at least a week?"

"Meaning I have a great deal to make up for. I cannot help that I am famished."

"True enough." Maglor offered him a bit more from his own plate with a smile. "But you should still try not to overdo it!"

"As you say, Cano." Esgaron did slow down but still eyed Maglor's share. "Did you get enough?"

Maglor shook his head in amusement when he saw the way Esgaron eyed his side and pushed the remainder towards him. "Yes, I did, so you can have these too, eh?"

"Thank you, Cano." Esgaron offered a grateful smile and took--snatched, rather--the extra, which he did eat. "That does feel better. Should we go climbing next?"

Maglor again shook his head in amusement, trying not to laugh - but it was a good sign, so... "I think we will have to hope the twins bring plenty of dinner!" he said with a smile, "Do you want to wait, or shall we venture out by ourselves?"

"I will not make you go hungry, Cano." Esgaron's eyes glittered at Maglor. "Is there something you would rather do in the meantime?"

"I have eaten my fill in the last few days," Maglor assured him, and did laugh softly at the look in Esgaron's eyes. "We are supposed to be behaving, my sweet one, and here you go making suggestions like that with that look on your face."

Esgaron gave Maglor an innocent look. "I suggested nothing. In fact, I was asking _you_ for suggestions."

Maglor snorted at him in amusement. "My love, that very _look_ is a suggestion."

"Nonsense, Cano. It just means I like to look at you," Esgaron replied airily, with a toss of his head.

"You have never seen the look on your face when you do, Esgaron, for no, I assure, you, it truly is," Maglor said dryly.

"Well, you will have to put a mirror before me so I can see it sometime," Esgaron said, "...but you are right in that I would very much like to do things with you. You have been very sweet in indulging me, staying close and offering me kisses, but you have spent this time taking care of me and... it is an awkward dynamic compared to what we had before. I want you to feel wanted, that your care is not thankless, that there is more to things than you playing nursemaid. And... _being_ wanted is a nice change from being so helpless. Part of me worries that... that you might not desire me anymore, seeing me like that. I do not doubt that you _love_ me, but..." He shrugged a little. "I love you, Cano. And I want you."

Maglor leaned in to kiss him gently. "Well, you can tell that part of yourself that it is delusional, for I will always desire you. I do not wish to aggravate your injuries, but you are looking a lot better, and if you would like to... play a little until your nephews come back, then I suppose if we are very careful..."

Esgaron hesitated, but his eyes lit up. "...do you mean it?"

Maglor kissed him again. "Yes, if you _promise_ you will be careful and stop if you have any pain."

At the kiss, all of Esgaron's smart-aleck words just crumbled. "I promise, Cano. I do. I... I am sorry, I cannot bend my healing fingers so I cannot grip properly. I fear I will not be able to reciprocate much, but I will make it up to you, I will, as soon as I am healed, I _swear_..."

"Hush." Maglor kissed him properly, bringing his hands up to run through Esgaron's hair, and effectively silencing him. "Stop fretting, love. I do not mind, truly I do not. I know you are still healing."

Esgaron made a soft sound as Maglor quieted him with the kiss, and slid his good arm around Maglor's waist. He nuzzled lightly. "I _will,_ Cano," he promised and drew Maglor into another kiss.

"I do not doubt it, my golden one." Maglor sighed softly as Esgaron nuzzled him and kissed him back, one hand dropping from golden hair to smooth across his chest. "Tell me what you want, my love, and we will see how we do."

"Kiss me. Touch me. Marry me, if that is what you want. Just _love_ me until I am breathless in your arms." Esgaron murmured the words against Maglor's skin. "Although... What you started in the bath was lovely. Your hands on me, so gentle..."

A low chuckle rumbled in his throat and Maglor kissed him again, hands going to tug at laces, sliding under Esgaron's shirt. "And deny your parents the chance to yell at me before we are wed? So impatient, love. But gently now, I think that Elrond would not begrudge that, hm?"

A contented sigh slipped through Esgaron's lips to feel Maglor's hands on his skin. "I think not, as long as we keep it gentle..."

"Then as gentle as I can make it, my lovely one," Maglor promised. He nudged him back towards the bed and tugged at his clothes, dropping his head to nip and nuzzle along his neck.

The healing limbs made it awkward, but Esgaron worked to try and get his clothes out of the way until he sank into the bed, golden hair spilling over the edge. He arched his neck to allow Maglor better access. "Mmm. I am glad you do not seem to tire of helping get my clothes off and on," he murmured.

"Oh, I think that is one thing I will always enjoy," Maglor assured him and dropped his head to search across Esgaron's torso with lips and hands.

"A boon, to be sure." Esgaron groaned softly and brushed his hands over Maglor's hair at the feel of his kisses along his chest and stomach. Esgaron's breathing slowed, almost stilled, as Maglor's attentions got close to tender ribs, but he didn't protest. He trusted his beloved to not hurt him. Maglor slowed when he came near the broken ribs, brushing across them featherlight, loving and thorough, kissing each bruise gently. Esgaron shivered a little, hardly daring to breathe, but his fingers curled in Maglor's hair.

"My beautiful golden king," Maglor murmured softly, "Even your bruises are lovely, Esgaron. Never, ever, think that I do not find you desirable."

"Mmm, you exaggerate. How could bruises be lovely?" Esgaron asked.

"Because they are yours, eh? A part of you." Maglor came back up to kiss him gently, hands brushing lower, gentle and teasing.

"My sweet, smitten Cano..." Esgaron kissed back softly, squirming a little into Maglor's touch as those tender musician's hands drifted down his belly.

"Very happily so." Maglor laughed against the kiss and his fingers dipped teasingly down... and then traced up Esgaron's thigh, knowing how he enjoyed it so.

Esgaron's breath hissed between his teeth, and he was clearly responding to Maglor's touches. " _Cano..._ " he whimpered.

"My lovely one." Maglor kissed him again, slow and sweet, and his hand closed around Esgaron to stroke.

Esgaron moaned into the kiss, bracing against Maglor's shoulders to try and stay still. There was a strong temptation to buck into Maglor's strokes, but his ribs and leg protested and he stopped moving. But that didn't stop his fingers from digging into Maglor's shoulders, or his lips parting against his lover's kiss. Maglor kissed him deeply, varying how he stroked to find what made Esgaron moan most loudly. He was quite responsive to all of Maglor's touches, gasping and groaning in pleasure. His chest heaved and his back arched involuntarily, which his broken ribs did not at all appreciate. Sharp, stabbing pains radiated from those bruises, making him wince and sharpening his cries. But he was close, so close... And he was afraid his beloved would take his hand away if he thought it hurt him too much.

"Please... D-don't..." A sharp breath rasped between Esgaron's clenched teeth. "Don't stop, Cano... Please... I am nearly... undone..."

"Ah, love." Maglor used his weight to pin him a little, to try and help him not to move too much, but he didn't dare to bring his full weight to bear, not with Esgaron still so tender. He didn't want to deny him either, of course, and so... "Come undone for me, then, my lovely golden one," he urged. He kissed Esgaron again, speeding up his touches.

Esgaron made an urgent sound against Maglor's kiss, his breathing becoming tight as his muscles clenched. Desperately, he kissed Maglor, crushing his mouth against his lover's, bruising, almost biting. He pressed into Maglor's hand, trying to clutch him close. Finally, after a few minutes, he pulsed into Maglor's touch, and became limp and breathless, and happily sated.

"Ah, Cano... My Cano... Thank you..." he gasped.

Maglor stroked him through his orgasm, and kissed him gently after. "There is no need for thanks, Esgaron. To bring you pleasure brings me joy as well," said and then chuckled, low and amused. "Although, we should perhaps have had the bath _after,_ hm?"

"I did not hurt you, did I?" Esgaron asked. He tried to crane his neck to see. "...is the mess all that bad?"

"No, love." Maglor shifted so that Esgaron could get up. "I am more worried that I hurt you! It is not so bad, but we will still have to clean up, eh?"

Esgaron gingerly rubbed his broken ribs. "Tender, but I think they will be all right. Do we have a towel? Or should I just get fresh clothes?"

"As long as I did not make things worse, or I suspect Elrond will have words with me." Maglor kissed him and pulled himself up. "Towels are enough, I think, love."

"I do not think it is any worse," Esgaron said. His returning kiss was sweet. "Let us see about getting cleaned up..." He found his towel from the bath and started mopping up the mess.

"That is good, for I do not fancy setting you back, love," Maglor said. He fetched his own towel to help. "At least we got you out of your clothes first, hm?"

"Mmm, indeed. But I think they gave us enough clothes to keep us both in white for weeks," Esgaron mused.

"True enough! I do hope the tailors are done soon - white does get dirty so easily," Maglor agreed.

"You look nice in it, though. And you seem to like me in it." Esgaron smiled mischievously at Maglor.

"Thank you, love. And you look lovely in white, yes. Although I wonder now about darker colours to contrast your hair," Maglor said, looking at him thoughtfully.

Esgaron toyed with a bright lock. "Oh? Which colors are you considering? Perhaps we could request them of the tailors."

"Mm, maybe a deep blue or a green, I think." Maglor shrugged at him and reached to tug on a flyaway strand fondly. "Perhaps even a black," he suggested.

Esgaron raised an eyebrow. "I wore blue for nearly a month, borrowing your spare clothes. And the clothes I got from the Silvan are in green and brown. Are you wanting different shades?" he asked. "But black... I do not know if that would be a happy color on me or not."

"I was thinking of the darker shades," Maglor said thoughtfully, "For contrast, you know?" He considered. "But black is probably too dark, I think."

"I suppose we could ask. I did request to my sister wedding robes in green for you. Perhaps I could borrow them briefly," Esgaron said. "Too dark, hmm? I do not know if it would do you any favors either." He gave Maglor a long, thoughtful look. 

"True - we could send the twins to check what colours the tailors are using, perhaps?" Maglor shrugged a little. "I can wear black, and have done - so long as it is not entirely without colour, as I have been told I have too much of my mother's complexion, and tend to look rather ghostly, else!" 

"Assuming they do not know already," Esgaron said, "And I am just as fair as you, Cano. Fairer, even, perhaps, with hair of gold. I do not know that I have ever worn black." He shrugged. "Ah, but white we have for now. And I should dress before my nephews catch us. A hand, please, Cano?" He struggled to get back into his clothes.

Maglor nodded and came over. "Of course, love."

Esgaron was grateful for Maglor's help and rewarded his efforts with a kiss. "I suppose my nephews will be returning soon..." he sighed.

"Ah, true. They should be back soon - I think I heard the bells for dinner ringing," Maglor said. He tucked a strand of hair back fondly. "I think you would look lovely in any colour, but yes, perhaps a little too dark for you!"

"And white remains your favorite on me?" Esgaron asked. 

"I think so," Maglor agreed.

"Better suited to a less wooded life than ours," Esgaron mused. "Ah, but I think you would also look splendid in any color you liked, pretty raven."

Maglor flushed shyly. "You are biased, love."

"As are you," Esgaron murmured. 

"I suppose I am, rather," Maglor admitted.

 _Tap tap tap_ sounded at the door, and a muffled voice called, "Uncles? Are you both ready?"

Esgaron was about to pull Maglor into another kiss when the knock came, and he pulled back. "Ah, nephews... Such timing. But yes. I suppose we are."

Maglor looked up at the knock and went to answer it. "Good even - have the two of you broken your own fast?" he asked.

Elladan waved at them cheerfully from over the basket. "All ready? 'Roh's gone ahead to make sure the coast is clear. We packed you plenty of food - and don't worry about us, it isn't unusual for us to be late to dinner."

"You are too kind, dear nephews. And I am grateful for the bounty. I fear my appetite has returned with great ferocity," Esgaron said.

"Thank you both for this," Maglor agreed.

"Being hungry means you're healing," Elladan said merrily and beckoned them to follow him, "So that's a good sign! C'mon."

"So I am told!" Esgaron laughed. His gait was somewhat uneven yet, but he was eager to follow the twins. "Lead on!"

"But not too fast!" Maglor added, and stayed by Esgaron's side so that his lover had an arm to hang on to, if needed.

"I know!" Elladan pulled a face at Maglor and grinned at Esgaron, before leading them creeping through the back passages to the kitchen, where Elrohir was working.

"Cook says she will not tell," he greeted them cheerfully, "And even gifted you with a bottle of elderflower wine, see? Everyone is busy, so if we're quick and quiet, no one will notice - the door is already opened."

"This way!" Elladan followed his brother with the basket in hand, slipping along the back wall and dodging the noise and bustle until they get to the door. "Up here!" Elladan pointed. "Do you need us to carry the baskets for you? Or should we leave you be?"

Esgaron followed as best he could, though his injuries had robbed him of much of his grace and speed. He eyed the baskets when asked. "I am grateful your cook is so generous. But how heavy are the baskets? I think your father would be quite cross with me if I tried putting too great a burden on a broken arm."

"Agreed - I might beg your indulgence a bit further, and ask that you help us carry the baskets up?" Maglor asked.

The twins weighed the baskets thoughtfully and nodded.

"Sure! They are--"  
\--pretty heavy."

"Need a hand getting up there?" they asked.

"I... think I can manage, if I am careful? You forget I've been climbing for over 5,000 years," Esgaron said. He was a bit slow and halting, but he started to climb on his own.

"If you hurt too much, love, you can lean on me," Maglor offered, "Up you go, nephews - no need to wait on us."

"All right!" the twins chorused. "We'll see you at the top!" The two of them took off, jostling each other teasingly.

Esgaron did his best to climb on his own. He had always loved climbing. Once, he had been named for it. But his injuries made it difficult. The muscles in his injured limbs began to burn with exertion, and his arms and legs started to shake a little from the effort. Still, he gritted his teeth and continued upward, determined to do so on his own. The effort made him breathe hard, his ribs protesting with every movement, and finally, he let out a gasp of pain. An ashen pallor robbed his cheeks of color, and he stopped, clinging as best he could so he did not fall.

"Wait. Please." Esgaron's words were tight. "Don't. Don't leave me behind."

"Easy, easy," Maglor murmured, touching his beloved's elbow, "No need to rush, love. I am here if you need to lean. You are still healing, remember - don't try and keep up with those two."

The twins paused in their racing, coming back down, eyes worried.

"Uncle E.?" one asked.

"Are you all right?" the other chimed in.

"Do you want us to fetch Father?"

Esgaron shook his head. "No. Do not call Elrond. I will be fine."

"Lean on me." Maglor offered his arm, watching him worriedly. "There is no rush, love."

"You've gone all pale," Elladan said worriedly.

"You sure you don't need Father?" Elrohir fretted.

"I am certain. The climb is just... more difficult than I expected. I will be all right," Esgaron insisted. Briefly, he rested against Maglor, trying to catch his breath. "...let me try again."

Maglor hugged Esgaron and then released him, although he stayed close. "Maybe if we take it slower?" he suggested.

"We can walk slower?" Elrohir offered.

"Why don't you take the baskets up to the roof, Roh, and I'll stay here in case Uncle E. needs a hand?" Elladan said.

Esgaron scowled and waved them off. "Do not _fuss_ so," he groused, "Only give me a moment. My ribs steal my breath."

Maglor quirked a small smile at him. "You worried us all for a moment there, love. But," he said and waved at the twins, "you two can go ahead, eh? We'll catch up."

"If you're sure?" the twins asked.

"I will be fine. It just hurts more than I expected it would. But I will manage. Cano is with me," Esgaon said. 

"I will stay with him," Maglor assured them, "There is not need to worry on our account."

"All right..." the twins said. The two of them exchanged glances and then nodded. "We'll go up first and set things up for you. If you need us, holler, and one of us will come back down."

"As you say," Esgaron said. He took a little time to catch his breath, for his limbs and lungs to not burn so fiercely. 

"Go on with you both." Maglor shooed them and waited patiently with Esgaron.

"All right!" the twins said. "See you at the top!"

Esgaron's color started looking a little better after a few minutes, and he nodded. "Are you ready, Cano?" he asked.

"Whenever you are, love. Lead on," Maglor said.

"Right." Esgaron began the climb again, and the pain started in even sooner than before, but he gritted his teeth, moving through it, seeking the rooftops.

Maglor followed him, keeping a wary eye on how he looked. "We do not have to do it quickly, love. If you want to take a break to catch your breath every few steps, I do not mind - it will give the twins time to set things up," he said.

Esgaron glowered. "Do you _know_ how that _sounds,_ Cano?"

"Like I am worried about how pale you are getting," Maglor said matter-of-factly, "Again."

"Like I am some delicate flower who must be coddled," Esgaron retorted. "I will be fine."

"If you collapse, I will say I told you so," Maglor told him dryly, but the worry in his eyes was real.

"I will not collapse," Esgaron insisted. He pressed onward, doing his best to ignore his protesting limbs. His breath was short and shallow. But, finally, he made it to the roof.

Maglor hummed softly at him in acknowledgement but let him go and did not hover (much), following him up the stairs.

The twins had it all set out for them when they came up, and were arguing about the best placement of the cushions for best star viewing.

"... obviously if you look west...!"  
"Nonsense that would not allow..."  
"Oh! Uncles!" They turned to look at them, the argument ending abruptly.

"All this for us? You have outdone yourselves, dear nephews," Esgaron said, looking over the twins' work.

Coming up behind Esgaron, Maglor raised his eyebrows to see the elaborate setup. "When you said 'picnic', I was thinking of something a little more basic!" he remarked.

"D'you like it?" Elladan grinned and spread his arms in a 'ta-da' gesture.

"We thought you might appreciate a bit of extra comfort." Elrohir's grin was quieter but no less real.

"And you'll have to tell us your preferences for stargazing, next time!" they both said.

"It is wonderful. Truly. I could not have asked for better. Thank you. It is worth every step," Esgaron said.

"You have truly outdone yourselves." Maglor looked around in wonder. "Thank you both."

Both twins beamed, obviously very pleased that their efforts paid off.

"We're glad you like it!"  
"We'll just leave you to it--"  
"If you need anything, we'll be hanging around the Hall of Fire tonight..."  
"But you can grab Erestor - he'll be in the Library!"

" _Thank_ you." Esgaron waved them off, and moved to gingerly sit down on a cushion. "They really are good lads."

"They are." Maglor watched them wave cheerfully and head back down the stairs before moving to hug Esgaron. "I scarcely know what to do with all of this!"

"I believe we are expected to just enjoy it. Help me unpack the baskets?" Esgaron said. He reached for the closest one, and then hissed as his ribs protested the movement.

"You, rest," Maglor scolded gently. "Let me." He suited actions to words, moving to lay out the feast that was packed for them.

"If you insist..." Esgaron sighed. But he watched, eyes hungry, as he took in the feast laid before him.

"I do." Maglor smiled at him fondly, and made quick work of setting everything up. "There now - come and eat, love."

Esgaron moved closer and cheerfully started eating, his appetite not dulled, though he was forced to slow down some because of his sore ribs. "Think anyone will find us up here?" he wondered.

Maglor leaned against him fondly and passed him the things a bit too far out of his reach without needing to be asked, picking through the food himself. "If I understood the twins right, I would say probably not! I suspect few come up here at night, and I warrant they have... arranged things to make sure no-one does, tonight," he said.

"Mmm. Good." Esgaron ate his fill, still ravenous as he healed, and then snuggled up beside Maglor. His healing leg put a bit of a damper on actually curling up with him, but there was plenty of opportunity for cuddles. "The stars are bright tonight," he remarked.

"Not so bright as you." Maglor wrapped his arms around Esgaron and tugged him back to snuggle in the cushions. "Well. Technically Gil-estel is brighter, but he cheats."

"Stars are able to cheat?" Esgaron asked, arching a pale eyebrow. 

"Well he isn't _technically_ a star at all, is he?" Maglor pointed out wryly. "I am sure the rest of them don't cheat."

"He is part of the reason I am able to be here with you right now," Esgaron said softly.

Maglor paused, startled. "He is?"

"He carries a Silmaril, does he not? Far from any reach. Putting your curse to sleep," Esgaron replied.

"I..." Maglor blinked, considering. "Well yes, I suppose so, I had never... thought of it that way..."

"It is a good thing, right, Cano?"

"A very good thing, if it brought me you." Maglor turned to kiss him, gently and sweetly. Esgaron made a soft sound of contentment, and lovingly kissed back, his lips parting easily against Maglor's, fingers lightly tangling in dark hair. Maglor kissed him gently but kept the kisses light, content to snuggle that night. "My Esgaron. So lovely you are."

Esgaron liked snuggles, too, happily burrowing into Maglor's arms, so it was all to the good. "You will have me soon, Cano," he whispered.

"Soon - and not too soon!" Maglor said, giving his lover all the cuddles he could muster.

Esgaron tucked his head into the familiar hollow beneath Maglor's chin, pressing a light kiss on his throat. "You only say that because of my family," he said, and absently drummed his fingers. "...I admit, I am a little frightened to meet my parents again."

"Yes," Maglor admitted, and his chin tipped up a little before resting on Esgaron's head. "Your father, particularly. Although I suppose I _should_ be fearing your mother more, as she knows very well indeed how to truly hurt me. Or embarrass me, depending on her mood."

"...what are you most afraid of?" Esgaron asked.

"Of losing you, mostly. Which I suppose is why I do not fear your mother," Maglor said.

"What about my father?"

"I do not know him well enough, I suppose," Maglor mused. "But you know how complicated my own relationship with my father is... I find it... difficult, I suppose, to look at yours and not fear him."

"...my memories of him are still few. None unpleasant, except..." Esgaron paused, frowning slightly as he searched through what remained of his memory. "...except that he left me."

"Ah, love." Maglor shifted a little to kiss his cheek. "That is a painful memory to have. I hope you and he will be able to reconnect, now."

"They... they all did. After the war. They left me behind in my valley to come here, and..." Esgaron's voice hitched, his frown deepening. "...they never came back..."

Maglor hugged him tightly, burying his face in his hair and crooning comfort. "Oh, love. I am sorry."

"Ah, no, Cano. I am. This was supposed to be a pleasant night," Esgaron said.

"My fault - I did not mean to raise painful topics, Esgaron."

"Shh. Do not fret, my Cano." He kissed Maglor firmly.

Maglor kissed him back, sweet and gentle, twining his finger in his hair. "I wish I could protect you from everything, my love."

"Am I not safe here with you?" Esgaron teased, just a little.

"As safe as I can keep you, Esgaron." Maglor smiled back at him and rested their foreheads together.

"Never let me go, Cano." Esgaron nuzzled gently.

"So long as I have strength to do so I will not," Maglor promised.

"Good." 

For a while, Esgaron just settled quietly against Maglor, wrapped up in his arms, content to watch the sky... But, then, little by little, he began to tense as the breeze started to pick up and clouds began to move into the valley. Maglor had almost started drowsing, but as Esgaron tensed, he stirred.

"Time to go in, I think," Maglor said. He eyed the clouds. "They look quite high, love. I do not think it will storm."

Esgaron frowned, peering up into the heavens. "...are you sure, Cano? The wind smells of rain."

"Maybe a little - but we should go inside all the same, I think. I am not so weather-wise as you, love."

Esgaron nodded. "Will you help me, Cano?"

"Of course, Esgaron." Maglor helped him up and nudged him towards the stairwell. "Rather than carry everything down, I think we'll just move the things into shelter, and then we can take our time going back to the room and get the twins to sort out the packing later, I think."

"All right. If you do not mind, I will let you move the things," Esgaron said.

"Of course, love." Maglor kissed him gently. "Why don't you get started on the stairs? It shouldn't take long to move them. Do you want to take the wine back to our room maybe?" he asked.

"Mmm, that would probably be a good idea..." Esgaron agreed. He gingerly moved, trying to make it so they could descend, but it was not easy, and his movements were still stiff at times.

Maglor made quick work of putting plates and bowls and unfinished food back into the baskets and shifted them to the top of the stairwell where he covered them with the rug. He stopped long enough to snag the wine and two glasses. "There. Do you need an arm to lean on, Esgaron?" he asked.

"No." Esgaron paused, a little unsteady as he listed toward the wall. "...but stay close, just in case."

"Always," Maglor said, smiling kindly at him. He followed Esgaron down closely, keeping a careful eye on his balance. 

It was not his most graceful descent ever, but Esgaron made it. He was rubbing his ribs, though, by the time he got to the bottom. "You got everything somewhere safe, yes?" he asked.

"I pushed them all into the shade and put the blanket over them," Maglor assured him, having followed him carefully the whole way. "As soon as I can, I will let the twins or Erestor know to come and clean up."

"Thank you. ...I do hope no trouble is caused on our accounts for them," Esgaron said.

"As do I - but then, I suspect they got permission for this jaunt, as it seems extremely well organised!" Maglor said.

"In that case, may Elrond not be cross with me," Esgaron said, breathing a sigh of relief. "But we should go back to our room..."

"Let us hope not!" Maglor agreed. "But yes, let us do so - have you your breath back, love?"

Esgaron gingerly felt his ribs. "I... I think I will be all right."

Maglor nodded and started back towards their rooms slowly. "All right - but if you need help, just say so, all right?" He looked over Esgaron again, mouth tight in a worried line.

"I will." He didn't. Not the entire way back. Near the end, Esgaron was walking a bit stiffly and looking a little pale, holding his ribs, but he was determined. Maglor kept an eye on him, but did not push, ready if he needed a hand but happy to let him push the edges so long as it did not look like Esgaron was actually going to collapse. At long last, they arrived at their quarters. 

"There now, here we are - and you can rest again," Maglor said cheerfully.

"Mmmm, yes. Did you enjoy the evening?" Esgaron asked.

"I did, yes." Maglor followed Esgaron in and set the wine glasses and the bottle on the table before coming over to snatch a kiss. As he did, the first drops of rain began to fall. "Ah! Once again, your weathersense proves the more accurate. Here, love, why don't you head to bed, and I'll close the shutters. Hopefully, this will not be a bad storm."

Esgaron nodded, finished readying for bed and sank gratefully into the mattress, watching Maglor expectantly. "...perhaps a little medicine so I sleep better?"

Maglor paused to do the calculations and nodded. "I think we're far enough out from your last dose, yes." He measured it out carefully and brought it over to Esgaron. "I think we'll save the wine for later, hm?"

"All right, another time for the wine," Esgaron said with a nod of his own. He took the medicine, shivering a bit as the patter of rain intensified. "Would you sing for me? Just until it takes effect?" he asked.

"Of course, love." Maglor moved to climb in with him, only to pause. "Did you want me to fetch my harp as well?"

"If you like. I am just happy either way," Esgaron said.

Maglor considered and then fetched the harp, settling next to Esgaron in the bed. "Do you have anything in particular you want to hear, love?"

"Something familiar, please. Something you wrote for me," Esgaron said.

"Of course." Maglor considered, running through his mental library, and then started to play, humming softly to Esgaron of summer and sunlight glowing green in the woods, lazy warmth and the joy of a loved one's arms. Esgaron settled down with a soft breath, slowly drifting off until his breathing turned deep and even, nestled up against Maglor's side.


	18. Tilting at the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Esgaron takes a step toward defeating his fears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 0\. Little bit of trauma talk, but not too bad.

For a long time, Esgaron was quiet. Rain fell on the valley, soaking it. Late in the night, rumbles of thunder rolled through. Esgaron's eyes snapped open, but he didn't move at first. He lay still, watching Maglor anxiously, eyes bright in the dark. By the time he woke, Maglor was wandering in reverie, humming a soft counterpoint to the falling rain. Esgaron hadn't moved, but something roused Maglor anyway, and he blinked a little, focusing on his lover.

"Esgaron?" he asked.

"...I did not mean to wake you..." came the answering murmur. A flash of lightning outside their window startled Esgaron. His heart pounded and his breath was quick. He clung when the thunder came a few seconds later. Automatically, Maglor's arms came up in return and Maglor hushed him softly, pressing a kiss to golden hair.

"Ssh, love, I am here. The house is strong; the storm cannot touch you here," he said, his voice low.

"I... I know. I am sorry I woke you. I am sorry to be so like a child when it storms," Esgaron sighed.

"Shush, love, I have said before that I do not mind. I was not sleeping in any case." Maglor brushed a hand through Esgaron's hair fondly. "Do you want me to sing for you again?"

" _I_ mind, Cano," Esgaron retorted, "You should rest."

"I am not that tired today." Maglor shrugged a little and continued the gentle carding of Esgaron's hair, trying to soothe. "I have been dozing while you heal - I rather think this is the most sleep I have had in a long time!"

"Forgive me being dull company." Esgaron heaved a deep sigh, punctuated by a pained hiss. "I wish I could be better for you, Cano. Not a broken, pained mess. Not cowering like a child. Not missing chunks of my own history. I wish... I wish I could be like Amroth was before."

"You are not." Maglor tipped Esgaron's chin up to kiss him properly. "You do not have to be anything other than yourself, Esgaron. You, just you, you are perfect as you are. Amroth I did not, and likely would never have known, other than as a name in a tale, a family member I never had a chance to know. It is Esgaron I fell in love with. Whether you are Esgaron forever or reclaim Amroth does not matter to me. And you are always beautiful."

Esgaron accepted the kiss, his lips tender against Maglor's. Then, he turned toward the window, watching the rain. "...I want to go out," Esgaron said suddenly, after a long moment of silence.

"Into the rain?" Maglor blinked in surprise.

"Yes." Esgaron nodded decisively. "At least... For a little while. I feel I need to try." Very carefully, he got up and approached the balcony. He hesitated, but then went out into the rain. 

"If you are sure," Maglor said with a nod of his own, and followed him out. The wind whipped Esgaron's hair, and the rain soaked him, but he stood there, gripping the rail tightly. He flinched when the lightning flashed, and whimpered when the thunder came. Maglor stood nearby, and only when Esgaron flinched did he move, coming over to stand behind him, arms on his shoulders in support. "My brave, bold love. I am here. You are not alone."

Esgaron's face was wet from the rain, so it was hard to tell if he was crying or not, but he didn't stay out much longer, retreating back indoors after an especially loud clap of thunder. He was shivering badly, soaked through, but whether because he was wet and cold, or terribly frightened, or both, it was not easy to say. He remained quiet, however, regardless. Maglor followed him in and snagged towels from the drying rack and clothes from the press, coming over to bundle him up.

"Ah, my love. Come, swiftly - let's get you out of those things and into something warm and dry," Maglor said.

Esgaron nodded. "Help, please, Cano?" he asked through chattering teeth. Cloth kept slipping from his fumbling fingers. He was shaking so much he was having trouble getting the wet things off.

"Of course, here, let me..." Maglor reached across to help Esgaron undo laces and pull his soaking clothes off, bustling him into the warm towels before he started to shuck his own wet things.

Esgaron calmed down somewhat as he was stripped of his wet things and bundled into warm, dry towels. His skin was still chilled, though, and he gently reached for Maglor, brushing cold fingers against his cheek. "Cano. Thank you." He lightly kissed Maglor with cool lips.

"You're ice cold!" Maglor kissed him back gently and chivvied him over to the bed. "Get back under covers, love. Let me dry off and I will join you."

"All right, all right." In fresh, dry clothes, Esgaron slipped back into the warm bed, watching Maglor.

With Esgaron taken care of, Maglor dropped the blankets and stripped down himself, shivering in the chill of the air as he snatched dry things for himself from the clothes press and came back to bed. "Ai! I am glad we cannot catch chills as Men do, for that would certainly have brought one on," he remarked.

"Mmm." Esgaron quickly snuggled up to Maglor once he was in the bed. "Still. Thank you for indulging me."

Maglor was only too glad to do so, teasingly poking him with cold fingers. "If you think it helps, love, I am glad to do so," he said.

Esgaron yelped at the poke. "Cano! Injured and defenseless, remember?" he said. He sighed, tucking his head under Maglor's chin. "I do not know if it helped. But I had to try."

Maglor laughed softly and wrapped his arms around his lover fondly. "Well, I am glad you did, in any case," Maglor said.

Esgaron frowned and lifted his head to look at Maglor in puzzlement. "You are? Why are _you_ glad?"

"Because it proves to you that you _can_ be brave. And I think you needed that," Maglor explained.

"...it is not that easy, Cano..." Esgaron put his head back on Maglor's shoulder. 

"No," Maglor agreed and brought his hand up to card through Esgaron's hair, "But it is a start."

"I suppose it is," Esgaron said, "...though I do not yet feel brave."

"Maybe you do not feel it, my love, but I saw courage tonight," Maglor said.

"...what about you, Cano? Do you feel brave?" Esgaron asked.

"Not really, love. But I try to be, for you," Maglor admitted.

"I do not mean to frighten you. I am sorry if I do," Esgaron said, his grip tightening around Maglor.

"You cannot help what you cannot help, Esgaron. And 'tis not you who frighten me, but only that I might lose you," Maglor assured him.

"...do you also fear a storm taking me?" Esgaron asked in a small voice, a tremor of anxiety in it. Tension ran through him again.

Maglor hugged him more tightly and considered the question. "Not a storm, I think. But everyone I love has... a tendency to leave me. I suppose I fear, one day, you will do the same."

"I will not, Cano. Not by my choice," Esgaron promised, "But... Ulmo may yet claim me. Some nights, my dreams are full of water and I am sure I hear him laughing..."

"I do not think he would be so cruel." Maglor's arms tightened further around him. "Ever has he hearkened to the woes of Arda and its children, moreso than most others. Surely not Ulmo himself."

"I do not know." Esgaron shook his head. "But it is so in my dreams. Laughter, deep and sonorous, while I wish to scream and cannot. It swirls in the rush of waves and cracking of rocks, the last thing I hear before all goes dark and silent and cold..."

"That sounds more like Lord Ossë than it does Ulmo, my love," Maglor said, "That one has ever been wild and tempestous, delighting in his storms. But... I do not think either would laugh to see your light extinguish, nor do so deliberately."

"Then tell that to _them._ " Esgaron very nearly snapped the words, and then immediately drew back with a cringe. "...I am sorry, Cano. I did not mean to speak harshly to you."

Maglor startled when Esgaron snapped but he shook his head and pressed close again after. "It's alright, Esgaron. I know it upsets you. I do not mind."

Esgaron frowned at him. "Stop that. When I behave poorly, it should not be swept aside."

"You were angry, and afraid, and I touched upon a raw wound," Maglor pointed out, "You did me no harm, beloved, and I took no insult."

"Still." Almost sullenly did Esgaron nestle more deeply into the bed and Maglor's arms. "...I do not know if I can go back to sleep. I dream of storms, I wake to storms, I stand in storms, and still it rains."

Maglor held him close and pressed a kiss to his brow. "I wish I could help you more, love."

"Elrond was supposed to _fix_ me." Esgaron was grousing, but there was a bitter edge in his voice. 

"I'm sorry," Maglor repeats helplessly and could only hold him close. "But there are some hurts that I think cannot be healed in this world. This might be one of them. I am sorry, Esgaron."

Esgaron went silent, and then his body began to shake with quiet sobs and tears started to slide down his cheeks. He buried his face in Maglor's shoulder as he cried, releasing much of the tension he'd had since arriving. Maglor only rocked him, crooning comfort and letting him cry it out. After a while, Esgaron settled more, putting a hand to his ribs with a soft groan.

"...ow..."

Maglor held him through it and pulled away slightly at the groan, worried. "Do you need more of the painkiller, Esgaron?" he asked.

"I think I just overdid it today. I am _tired_ of being drugged, Cano." Esgaron ran fingers through his hair in restless frustration.

Maglor let him, sighing softly, "I know, love. I am sorry."

Esgaron shifted restlessly, and finally sat up, his expression dark. "I need... something. I do not know what," he said.

Maglor propped himself up next to him and watched, worried. "You know I am ever at your disposal, love. I just wish I knew what to do to help. Would going out for a walk, perhaps? We could sneak down to the library?" he suggested.

"I... perhaps. Elrond seems to think libraries are the cure for everything. Let us see how his measures up," Esgaron said.

"Alright." Maglor kissed him briefly and got up, fetching a taper in case the corridors were too dark. "We shall pretend to be young, eh? Sneaking around the halls at night!"

" _You_ can," Esgaron retorted, "I have no intention of sneaking anywhere. Elrond granted me any resource of his I wished. Those who question me will answer to that." Ah, yes, there was a glimmer of the warrior-prince Elrond first met. Maglor smiled to see it.

"Ah well. I can be immature another day then. Lead on, my golden king!" he said.

Esgaron padded softly to the door, his feet bare. "...I do not know where I am going. But with luck we will not be disturbed."

"Well, I can venture a rough guess, I think - but like you, I have not wandered far. But Erestor's office is like to be not far from it either," Maglor said.

Esgaron slipped into the hall, making his best guess from the plans he had seen. Maglor followed him out. Lightning flashes occasionally lit their paths, but then Esgaron's eyes flashed back with determination. He wended his way through the halls quietly. In some of the common areas, there were still fires lit and the sounds of people gathering. Elven voices, mostly, and perhaps a few other guests awake at odd hours. Esgaron just walked past them, ignoring any surprised whispers by those who might have caught a glimpse of him. Maglor followed him quietly, a shadow drifting through the halls behind him. Eyes slid away from him to follow Esgaron instead, for the most part.

"...I think it may be down this way," Esgaron said. He followed another hall. "Along here, I think..."

"Mm, yes, that would make sense - Erestor's office is down the other way," Maglor agreed, close behind him.

Eventually, they found the library.

"Ah. Here we are," Esgaron said. He walked in, looking a bit at a loss among the many shelves. "Well... No shortage of material..."

Maglor looked around and shook his head, fond and somewhat awed. "He always did love books. I rather think that this must be one of his favourite spots. Of a certainty, he would not lack for distraction in here!"

Esgaron wandered aimlessly among the shelves, glancing at the titles, trying to find something of interest to him. "...I think I remember liking libraries once..." he murmured.

"I wonder if you had one in Lothlórien?" Maglor mused quietly, and stopped, startled, before smiling wistfully and running his fingers gently down the spine of a very old children's book. "He kept it," he said softly.

"I might have." Esgaron paused, looking at Maglor quizzically. "Kept what?"

Maglor lifted the book down to show Esgaron. It was a hand-illustrated book of children's poems in Quenya, old and well-loved, the bright colours somewhat faded with time. "When I... was their captor, Elrond was... always outstripping all the work we set him. He always wished to learn, to know. By that time... we were fugitive princes, and the greater store of our wealth was long lost. Our library in Amon Ereb was pitifully small, although Erestor did what he could from what we had, and we begged things from those of our men who had children of their own. And then I had the thought... what... of the things from our childhood? The old stories and poems? So, in between times, I wrote them all down. Elrond and Elros helped me do the illustrations, as we read the poems together. As they grew older it was left dusty on the shelf, but... after we sent them away... it was gone. I had thought it simply lost. But it seems that Elrond took it with him, in the end," he explained.

"Oh." Esgaron went very quiet, staring at the pages. His fingers fidgeted absently.

"Esgaron?" Maglor tipped his head at him curiously.

He ducked his head, one hand coming up to touch his scar. "...I still have next to nothing of my childhood..." Esgaron admitted.

"Oh, love." Maglor stepped closer to pull him close. "Perhaps your parents' arrival will be better for that. At the least, I am sure they could tell you tales of those early days," he said. "For now... do you want to keep this one? I am sure Elrond will not mind?"

Esgaron was content to let Maglor hug him. "No, Cano. That is his childhood. Not mine," he said softly but firmly.

Maglor nodded and put the book back before hugging him close again. "Then let us find something for you then, hm?" he suggested.

"Hmm, yes." Esgaron gently pulled out of Maglor's embrace and started browsing the shelves absently, trying to find something to pique his interest. He passed shelf after shelf, moving slowly, drinking in every title, but did not take any of the books. Maglor followed in his wake, pointing out titles that Esgaron might have found interesting from time to time, but mostly was content to let him browse. Esgaron kept wandering the shelves, but didn't select anything, making only vague noises of acknowledgement at Maglor's suggestions.

"He has quite the library," Esgaron remarked.

"It is impressive," Maglor agreed, "There are books and parchments here from across Middle-earth. I cannot even recognise the script of some of them. See there? I think that one is.. from Khand, maybe. The letters look like nothing that I have ever seen before."

"Hmm." Esgaron just sort of shrugged and kept moving... until all of a sudden he stopped and stared at the shelf. With trembling fingers, he pulled out a book. A broken gasp escaped him as he started to leaf through it.

"Esgaron?" Maglor stepped close, resting his hands on his shoulders in worried support. "What is it, love?"

Esgaron's voice was hushed. "This one... I think this one is _mine._ " He showed Maglor, and, sure enough, it had Amroth's name listed as the author, and the pages were in a handwriting very similar to Esgaron's. It was a fairly thick book detailing customs, histories and songs of the Silvan and their Nandorin ancestors.

" _Oh,_ " Maglor murmured softly in wonder, "Do you want some time alone to read it?"

"I... You do not have to leave. If there was something you wished to read..." Esgaron trailed off.

"No, love - what do _you_ want? If it helps you to have me stay, I will - but if you wish to do this alone, I will go. I can easily snatch something on my way out, after all. But what do you want?" Maglor asked.

Thunder rumbled, making Esgaron tense. Lightly, he touched Maglor's wrist, brushed another delicate touch over his cheek. "...stay?" His voice was equally soft, gently pleading.

Maglor turned a little to kiss the brushing fingers. "As long as you wish it of me, I will stay," he assured him.

Esgaron gave Maglor a soft kiss. "Thank you." He took the book, found a corner with a couple of chairs and curled up in one as he started leafing through it. For the most part, his expression remained curiously mystified, but something about the book must have relaxed him, because after a while, he started to nod off.

Maglor picked a book up himself and came to sit at Esgaron's feet, and kept him quiet company, smiling when he started nodding off. "Esgaron?" he called softly, not wanting to wake him if he was truly sleeping. 

Esgaron's response was an unintelligible murmur when his name was called. The book in his hands slid off his lap as his grip slackened and golden hair whispered as his head dropped forward. Maglor chuckled silently and snagged the book. He _could_ carry Esgaron back, he supposed, but that would only wake him. Instead he quietly ransacked the library for pillows and a throw, and proceeded to make Esgaron comfortable, settling to watch him sleep fondly. Esgaron made a little noise of protest as Maglor shifted him so that he could sleep comfortably, and unconsciously reached for a kiss before settling down and drifting into deeper slumber. Maglor let him have his bedtime kiss and spent the night sitting beside him, watching him fondly and flicking through a book himself. 

Some hours later, not long after breakfast time, Elrond entered and looked surprised to find Maglor there, not to mention his brother-in-law fast asleep.

"Good morning," he said, "Enjoying my collection?"

Maglor looked up and smiled a little shyly to see Elrond. "Good morning. Yes - your pardon, but he fell asleep and I did not wish to wake him," he explained.

Elrond raised an eyebrow. "That's a shame that he found it so dull." It was hard to tell if he was joking or not.

Maglor tipped the book so Elrond could see the title and quipped wryly, "Well he has only himself to blame for that."

Elrond laughed softly at that. "So he does." He came over and touched the cover fondly. "I remember this started when I began courting Celebrían. He tried to tease me by telling me all the Silvan habits she had picked up. So I asked him about their culture. This was one of his wedding gifts to us." 

Maglor smiled a little, amused. "So a tease for you became a gift, and now a bedtime story for him, hm? I expect you surprised him with your interest!" he laughed. 

"I am not sure that 'surprised' is the right word. And if you read it yourself, it is clear how very much he loves the Silvan people," Elrond said with a smile.

"If I had not known his parentage I would have thought him one of them," Maglor agreed fondly. He looked at Esgaron equally fondly. "He chafes at his enforced inactivity," he said quietly, "And that his memory remains patchy at best still bothers him."

The smile faded at Maglor's information and Elrond shook his head. "I am not surprised by that. But he must not overuse them until the breaks have had a chance to knit. Truly, giving him a month-long restriction was trying to be merciful to his nature. Were it anyone else, I would prescribe two. As for his memory..." Elrond sighed. "I am sorry. I cannot fix everything, as much as I might want to. That is why I offered him my library, what memories I could. Galadriel and Celeborn will arrive in a few weeks. Hopefully they can help him more. But Amroth and I have spent little time together. I do not have the memories he misses."

Maglor sighed a little at the news. "I do not blame you, Elrond," he said firmly, "You are the best healer that these lands have seen in generations, possibly ever. You did the best you could. The memory cannot be helped. But the inactivity is what bites him the most - what can I do with him safely? Are there places we can go?"

"He is always welcome to read. All of Imladris is open to him, though, clearly, if he ventures into certain areas, his presence here will no longer be secret. I suggest any walks be short ones until his leg is more firmly healed. Make sure he eats well," Elrond said, "Oh, and how did he do with the excursion on the roof?" There was an amused sparkle in his eyes.

But, soon his expression became more serious.  
"He is not expected to simply lie in bed or sit at all times. He should get up and move around, as long as the activity remains moderate at most. I know he misses climbing, hunting, but he is not yet ready for those. If he can just be patient for a few more weeks, the splints can come off and I will have him begin exercises to strengthen him again. He will have an abundance of activity, enough that he might miss the enforced rest. In fact, he should be ready to begin some small exercises for his ribs. Have him do slow deep-breathing and gentle coughing exercises every few hours. Cushioning his broken ribs with a pillow or blanket might ease any discomfort that comes with that. Soon, he will be able to do more. Until that time... Please, Maglor. Just be gentle with him. Nothing that puts undue strain or pressure on the broken areas. A little tenderness is to be expected and that is fine. But if he is clearly in pain, that is a sign to _stop_ \--before he disrupts the healing process."

"He enjoyed it, I think," Maglor said with a nod, taking in the information, "But it strained him - he wanted to push on, however. Should I have stopped him? I might see if he wants to go into the gardens... we can reach that from our room, yes? I would guess that is not too far."

"He is valiant. Perhaps beyond reason. You should caution him not to overdo it. But if he enjoys the gardens, he is welcome in them," Elrond said. 

"Then, with your permission - I will see if he is up to it when he wakes. Easier than the roof! But still outside," Maglor said.

There was a pause, a silence that knew a little too much. "Is there something you wish to do with him?" Elrond asked.

Maglor shook his head at first and then stopped and admitted shyly, "I... brought him pleasure, the other night. He seemed to find the release helpful. Is... that alright?"

Elrond paused again, trying not to dwell too long on that mental image. "Did it pain him?" he asked.

Maglor considered, drumming his fingers thoughtfully. "A little, I think - his ribs, mostly, when he moved too much. But not overly so."

Elrond considered this information in return, and sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Just... be careful with him, Maglor. Be gentle. Do not work him too roughly. And do not let him be overly ambitious either just yet," he said. "Beyond that, your... activities are hardly my concern."

"I will," Maglor promised. He flushed and looked away. "My apologies for making you uncomfortable."

"Better for you to ask me than some," Elrond assured him. Celeborn's name hung unspoken in the air, but present nonetheless. "Did you have any other concerns?"

Maglor's smile was equally wry. "True enough." He shook his head a little. "Not really. I want to make things easier for him but... I fear I am... very bad at knowing how to settle him."

Elrond frowned. "What do you mean by 'settle' him?"

"When the storms come," Maglor said softly, "It is in part why we are down here tonight - they make him so uneasy, and I do not know how to help."

"Ah." Elrond carefully considered what Maglor was saying. "How does he react when they come?" 

"It depends? Rain he dislikes but... if it is _just_ rain he seems to manage well enough. But the thunder and the lightning... 'tis almost a panic attack. He says he dreams of Ulmo... or Ossë, maybe, laughing," Maglor explained. He glanced at Esgaron's sleeping face, as if checking for any sign of bad dreams. He found none in the smoothness of his brow, his mouth relaxed and the lips softly parted, not a single line of tension in those elegant features.

"How did he react to last night's storms? What made him decide to come here?" Elrond was curious, but patient.

"The thunder made him shake," Maglor said quietly, "He wanted me to sing him to sleep. He dreamt, I think. After, he stood out in the rain until he was shivering with the cold."

Elrond didn't look pleased by that news. "And how did he handle that?" he asked, his voice a little too even.

"Sorry. I suppose I should have coaxed him back inside sooner, but he seemed to want to be out there." Maglor winced at the disapproval on Elrond's face. "Apart from the cold, he seemed alright. I got him into warm, dry things as swiftly as I could."

Elrond did his best to remain calm and neutral. "And then what?" 

Maglor appeared to shrink in on himself, pulling back from Elrond's obvious displeasure into a tighter ball at his lover's feet. "I brought him back to bed to warm up, but he could not settle. He was too restless, frustrated, I think. I suggested we go somewhere, and he chose here."

"And here is where he relaxed enough to fall asleep again," Elrond observed. "Are these reactions normal for him when it storms?"

"Yes." Maglor nodded. "I think he was very surprised to find his own work here - perhaps he thought it might help his memory." He considered Elrond's question, fingers tapping a thoughtful rhythm. "The fear, the trembling... the wish for me to sing him peace... yes. The wanting to stand in the rain and face the storm was new."

Elrond nodded. "Perhaps so." He softened. "He has been through so much. Is it so surprising he would be afraid, or that he would want to overcome it?" 

"I did not wish to chase him back inside when he was trying so hard to confront his fears," Maglor admitted shyly, "I only hope he took no hurt."

Elrond gave Maglor a small smile. "Do you remember what you and Maedhros used to do for us when we were young and afraid?"

Maglor's answering smile was wry and fond. "Before or after Maedhros did the "I am a terrifying kinslayer and the Orc under the bed has five seconds to leave before I skewer it" routine?"

Elrond laughed softly. "More when we were older. I doubt chasing Orcs from beds will help him any."

Maglor smiled at him even more fondly. "You pleased him greatly that as much as you hated and feared us you knew to go to him for help," he said, "But I remember. We told you to always face your fears, for only then could you begin to overcome them."

Elrond nodded, understanding. "That is what he needs from you now. Give him the comfort he needs, but also the strength to overcome. Some days are likely to be worse than others. There may be nights where he will not settle, no matter what you do. But I know you love him and that you will care for him. As long as he knows that, and as long as you are there for him when he needs you, with luck, one day he will learn to settle on his own."

Maglor nodded in return, eyes drifting back to Esgaron's sleeping figure. "Thank you, Elrond. As ever, my wise one, you always know the right thing to say." He paled a little, realising too late the overly-familiar slip, before hurrying on. "I will do my best."

Elrond smiled just a little at the slip. _Love you too, foster-dad,_ was the unspoken sentiment. "Has he been sleeping well otherwise? Any reverie, or all deep sleeps like this?" he asked, noticing Esgaron had not so much as moved since Elrond had come into the library.

"Mostly deep sleeps," Maglor said thoughtfully, "Even if he starts with reverie, he tends to sleep by the end of the night, even if only briefly. He had been starting to have more reverie than sleep before we came, however. And right now, of course, he is healing."

"And how has his appetite been?" Elrond pressed.

"Better," Maglor said wryly, "He ate most of the picnic. Although I suppose that is to be expected?"

An enigmatic smile spread across Elrond's lips. "The healing body requires a great deal of nutrition. But it is good to hear he is doing better. How long has he been asleep here?"

Maglor paused briefly to think about it. "A few hours, I think. We came down... perhaps around three or four in the morning?"

"I see. I do hope he's comfortable," Elrond remarked.

"He seems to be." Maglor cast another fond look at Esgaron. "He has slept deeply since he dropped off. Not even me shifting him to lie down and tuck him in roused him more than superficially, and he dropped right back to sleep after."

There was a knowing smile from Elrond. "Something tells me you have spent more time watching him than catching up on your reading."

Maglor ducked his head shyly. "I... well. Um..." He stuttered to a stop and shrugged bashfully.

Elrond chuckled goodnaturedly. "It is nothing to be ashamed of. You worry about him, you love him... I do not doubt you find him fascinating, awake or asleep. I expect he would feel the same for you." He looked at Esgaron, who shifted a little in the chair. "He is welcome to stay here as long as you think he needs the rest. I cannot guarantee others will not enter and disturb him, but I will try and dissuade interest in the library for at least a few more hours."

Maglor almost shuffled shyly but he nodded gratefully. "Yes. Thank you Elrond. I do not know how much longer he will stay asleep, in any case. When he wakes - should we return to our rooms for breakfast?"

"If you like. I could have something sent up from the kitchens, or surely Lindir or Erestor could take care of that for you. I imagine he will be hungry when he wakes. He will get back to himself soon, I think," Elrond said.

"I hope he does," Maglor agreed, "For his own sake, I think, more than my own! But that would suit, yes, thank you - he is often ravenously hungry these days."

"There is a lot he needs to do in order to heal. He will need the nourishment," Elrond agreed as well. "His appetite will slow down again once he is closer to being back to normal."

"I hope so or we are going to struggle with hunting." Maglor smiled. "But thank you for all you have done, Elrond."

"Of course. Though he is fine with a bow that I recall. But let me do what I can to give him quiet." 

"Far better than I," Maglor had no problem in admitting, "Especially with my hands as they are." He looked up with eyes full of gratitude. "Thank you, Elrond."

And Elrond nodded and left, presumably keeping his library closed, so Esgaron could continue his rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 0\. Wow, you guys, can you believe we've been playing this out for _two years_ now? Hard to believe! And we're glad to have all of you joining us for this awesome project. As always, if you have any love or questions, let us know!


	19. Garden of Delights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Esgaron's condition improving, Maglor takes him for a picnic in the gardens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, friends! Sorry about the long delay--my file corrupted and I had to start over from scratch. So... you get an extra-long chapter to help make up for it.
> 
> Quite a few incidences of sexytimes in this one, though still nothing really penetrative. One incident does not go as Esgaron plans, though, and it does briefly trigger an episode.

Not long afterward, Esgaron stirred, thin beams of sunlight finally brushing over his cheeks.

"mmmm... Cano...?" he murmured, and blinked.

By the time Esgaron stirred, Maglor had gone back to idly browsing the book, but he looked up with a smile when he heard him move. "Here, love. Good morning," he said, immediately closing the book in his lap as he turned to face Esgaron.

He looked bemusedly at the blanket and the chair as he sat up. "Did... you do this, Cano?" Esgaron asked. Briefly, his eyes followed a few dust motes dancing through the air near him.

Maglor chuckled at him fondly and leaned over to snag a good morning kiss. "Who else, love?"

Esgaron kissed back and then shrugged. "My sister. Elrond. My nephews." He ticked off the possibilities.

Another soft chuckle was Maglor's answer. "None of whom are here right now, hm?" he pointed out. "How much of last night do you remember, love?"

Esgaron shuddered a little, as if he could still hear thunder rumbling in his ears. Clearly, he remembered it was storming. "The last thing I can remember was reading of the Silvan..." he said, his voice faint.

"Mm." Maglor showed him the book that had slid from Esgaron's lap. "You wrote it yourself - before. But apparently you were simply too tired, or perhaps, too boring? And you fell asleep. Rather than disturb you..." Maglor shrugged at him, though the simple gesture quietly spoke of the tenderness of his actions during the night.

"It was not boring!" Esgaron's words rushed out defensively. He paused for a heartbeat to recompose himself. "It was... it is comforting, in its way."

"That is good, considering 'twas you who wrote it." Maglor teased, his eyes warm to show he meant it kindly.

"Yes, Cano, I am aware," Esgaron replied dryly.

Maglor nodded. "I am glad. Elrond came by earlier, and he was pleased to see you doing well. If you are feeling up to it, he suggested that we might go out into the garden after breakfast today."

"The garden?" Esgaron repeated, his eyes widening. "I... yes, I suppose. If you do not think it will be too wet."

"The sun is out - after breakfast, I think, it will dry nicely. Perhaps we could have lunch outside, if you are feeling up to it?" Maglor suggested.

"I suppose." Esgaron stretched a little, loosening tight muscles, inviting blood back into his uncurled limbs. "Mm. How long was I asleep?"

"A good few hours, I think." Maglor stretched himself and got gracefully to his feet, offering a hand to Esgaron. "Which is good - I did not think you would, after last night."

"...nor did I," Esgaron admitted. He got to his feet, slightly ungainly yet in the way he wobbled. He still reached for Maglor's hand, though, not too proud to accept the help. "Where are we having breakfast? I do not imagine Elrond would want us eating around his books."

Maglor was only too glad to take the offered hand, helping Esgaron up, carefully steadying him. "Indeed not! Erestor would fuss, if Elrond did not," he agreed, "But he told me he would have breakfast sent to our room, and by now it must be there waiting, if you feel up to the trek?"

"I think so."

"Well, we are neither of us in a rush, eh? We can take our time," Maglor said.

"Well, I am hungry," Esgaron said, his tone indicating he would do nothing of the sort.

"Then we had best not linger too long, hm?" Maglor said. Amusement gleamed in his eyes.

Esgaron made it back, hand in hand with Maglor the entire way. The route he chose was not particularly secret, though, and the sight of the pair surely surprised more than a few who caught a glimpse of them. Maglor ignored the stares with all the aplomb of one who once held the High Kingship, all his attention focused on making sure Esgaron did not overstrain himself as they wended their way back to their room, where sure enough, breakfast was waiting. Esgaron eyed their meal hungrily as the inviting smell tickled his nose, making a beeline straight for the trays.

"You should take what you want first, Cano," he said, barely catching himself soon enough to not immediately grab before Maglor had a chance to decide what he wanted.

Maglor chuckled goodnaturedly at the look on his lover's face and casually snagged himself a roll and some fruit. "There - no need for you to hold back, love."

Esgaron frowned a little at what Maglor took. "Are you sure you have enough, Cano?" he asked anxiously, "I do not want you going hungry on my account."

"I am not," he assured him warmly, "But I am not terribly hungry this morning - I never have been much of a breakfast person. This is fine, love. If I need to, I can always get more."

"Cano..." Esgaron's tone was like that of a fondly exasperated parent, and he pushed some smoked fish at Maglor before he started eating.

"Really!" Maglor pouted at little at Esgaron teasingly, but obediently took the fish as well, pleased to see that Esgaron's appetite was good.

"You need your strength, too," Esgaron said, half a mouthful still in his cheek. Yes, he was definitely eating well, rapidly consuming his breakfast rather to the point of abandoning table manners.

"I promise I will not let myself get sick," Maglor said. He could not help smiling at Esgaron as he ate his own breakfast.

"Good. Or I shall have to feed you a great deal when we get home." Again with the fatherly tone, but he paused briefly to squeeze Maglor's hand.

Maglor squeezed back gently. "I promise not to stint myself, love. But, you know I never refuse your cooking!"

"You had better not, considering how often I am the one who cooks," Esgaron said airily. 

"You are an excellent cook, my love," Maglor assured him.

"How big are the gardens here?" Esgaron asked suddenly. "I was preoccupied with the st--" There was a momentary break as he flinched and then corrected himself midword. "--ars when we were out last."

Maglor's adoring smile never faltered. The slip he let pass. "Quite large. The family garden is a small one - perhaps an acre of land? But it backs, so far as I can tell, onto wider public ones - and those are at least four or five acres, I think."

"That is indeed a large garden. Large enough to get lost in, almost," Esgaron mused.

"Ah, that is true. Did you want to get a little lost, love?" Maglor asked.

"...a little, perhaps," Esgaron admitted. There was a glitter in his eyes.

Maglor chuckled softly and leaned forward to kiss Esgaron equally softly. "That sounds like fun," he agreed.

Esgaron was not letting Maglor get away that easily. He pulled him in for another kiss, long and sweet. "Not too far out... But enough where we will not be seen..." he murmured.

Maglor was certainly not particularly adverse to kissing back. "Mmn, and then?" he prompted.

Esgaron gave him sheepish look. "That... will probably depend upon how I am feeling," he admitted, "But to be with you, just us, under the sun and among the trees... What more could I want?" He nuzzled gently. "Well. I would not disagree with having your arms around me, your lips against mine, your hands on my skin..."

Maglor nosed back lovingly. "Such lovely pictures you draw with your words, love. Well, then! I suppose we really must find ourselves a quiet nook!"

"Yes." Esgaron delicately traced the curve of Maglor's cheek with an unbroken finger. "Ah, Cano... Were I not broken... Were my family already here..." He almost absently wrapped a lock of his hair around their fingers.

"You are _not_ broken," Maglor said firmly, "At the least, nothing that time cannot fix. You heal, Esgaron. That is all that matters to me."

Esgaron kissed Maglor again. "Does that mean, if I asked you to marry me, in this condition, you would?" he asked.

Maglor kissed him back fondly. "Please note I said nothing of your parents!" he said, "But if not for them, love... yes."

"I love you, Cano. " Esgaron tugged the lock of hair more tightly around their fingers before glancing back down at the breakfast dishes. "Are you finished? Ready to head to the gardens?"

In answer, Maglor lifted their joined fingers and kissed the twined strands gently. "And I you, Esgaron. Yes, I think so. Shall we bring a blanket or two?"

"Mmm. Probably a good idea. The ground may yet be wet in places," Esgaron agreed, letting their hands drop, "Anything else you wish to bring?"

"Perhaps a picnic, you think? So that we do not have to return for lunch?" Maglor suggested.

"If you do not mind carrying the basket since it will likely be heavy." Esgaron rubbed his stomach, idly fiddling with a fork with the other hand. "Unless, of course, you manage to distract me from my appetite..."

Maglor laughed softly. "I do not - and I think that even if I succeed, my love, I really should not! You need the food, after all."

"I think I have already more than made up for the poor appetite I had earlier." Esgaron abandoned the fork on the tray, turning a wolfish look on Maglor. "And you, my sweet Cano, are truly a _wicked_ distraction..." He pulled Maglor into another kiss.

Maglor kissed him back and nipped lightly at his lower lip before pulling back. "You are a fine one to talk, my lovely golden king! I think me you are the one doing all the distracting right now!"

"Food is not the only appetite I have regained, Cano." Esgaron half-growled the words, silver embers in his eyes.

"I noticed," Maglor teased back, but the light in his own eyes kindled in response. "But if you keep this up, sweet one, we will not get outside at _all!_ "

Esgaron whined in protest, and stole one more kiss. "...how long do you think it will take to get everything together and go outside?" he asked, only barely pulling back.

Maglor chuckled, and his eyes were just as bright. "Not long, I am sure. Should I go and ask for a basket?"

"All right, then. Go on and be quick. I am sure to be quite hungry later," Esgaron sighed with mock-heaviness and a playful push. And judging from the blaze in his gaze, he was not just talking about lunch.

Maglor could not resist leaning in for another quick kiss before he went, though Esgaron tried to make the kiss linger as long as he could. "I will be as swift as I may," Maglor promised, "Perhaps if you can pack up a blanket or two?"

"Of course, love," Esgaron agreed. When Maglor pulled away, he got two of the fluffiest blankets he could find and made a little bundle of them as best he could with his clumsy fingers. Eagerly, he awaited Maglor's return, immediately greeting his lover with a kiss when he came back. "What did you get for us?" he asked.

Maglor kissed him back tenderly before pulling back. "Apparently, the magic words are 'Amroth would like to go outside for a picnic,' and Erestor did the rest. We have both juice and wine - watered, I think, but wine all the same - sandwiches, cheese and cold meats, and fruit. 'Tis quite a heavy basket!" he said.

"And yours to carry, my beauty. But it shall be lighter when we return! And I have the blankets." Esgaron held up the bundle. "Anything else you think we shall need?"

"Nothing that I can think of, love, unless you can think of anything?" Maglor said with a shrug.

"Hmm, no. Let us go," Esgaron said, after a moment of thought. He accompanied Maglor outside, carefully on the stairs, but the sun was bright and warm, and it caught in Esgaron's hair and made it blaze gold. A fair breeze ruffled their hair and clothes, the scent of loam still wafting upon it. The ground was still a little wet and gave gently under their feet.

"...it is very nice out here. It is good to have the plants and trees near," Esgaron remarked.

"It is very lovely," Maglor agreed, voice gone just slightly breathless as he was looking more at the gold in his lover's hair. In the spring sunshine, Esgaron's color was the best it had been since he and Maglor left their home, hair bright with gold, eyes bright with silver, pink in his cheeks and the ashen hue faded.

Before long, they had wandered far enough that the Last Homely House could hardly be seen through the foliage.

"This seems a good place for our picnic. Do you agree?" Esgaron said. He was already unrolling a blanket to sit on.

Maglor nodded, eyeing the surroundings and finding a shady spot to put down the picnic basket. "Aye, it does - far away enough, but not too far!"

"I doubt anyone will interrupt us here," Esgaron said. He spread out the blanket for them both, and sat on it invitingly. "Are you hungry, Cano? You said Erestor gave us quite a lot..."

It was a temptation Maglor could not resist as he came to sit next to him and immediately kissed him. "Hm, not for food, my lovely golden king," he whispered.

Esgaron kissed back readily, even eagerly, letting his lips part easily against Maglor's. "Mmm. As am I, Cano. As am I." He moved to start kissing Maglor's ears and neck.

Maglor tipped his head to give him more access with a soft sigh, hands coming up to tangle in Esgaron's hair and trace delicate patterns down his neck. "Mm, eager today, my love."

Esgaron kept lavishing kisses on Maglor. "I did say I was hungry, did I not?" he said, lips brushing against Maglor's fair skin.

Maglor shivered under his attentions. "So you did, my love. So you did. Mmh... What do you want today, sweet prince?"

"I am always happy with you under the sun. And to have your arms around me, your lips kissing mine, your hands on my skin, I am pleased," Esgaron said. He flexed his hands, the splinted fingers sticking out oddly from his attempts. "I... I still cannot quite grip... But I wish to bring you pleasure as well. I... I could try using my mouth, if you like?" he offered, glancing over shyly from under a fringe of golden lashes.

Maglor brought his lips to Esgaron's and kissed him gently, slow and deep, before pulling back a little to bump their foreheads together fondly. "I am happy with anything you want, love. If that is your desire, I am your willing servant."

Esgaron growled softly, "That is _not_ what I asked you."

Maglor chuckled and kissed him conciliatorily. "I did ask first! But your hands and lips on me, my love, however you like, are most welcome."

Fine, apology kiss accepted. And more kisses were given in return. "I do not want the sun to set without my having undone you, Cano," Esgaron said, "If I can."

"That, my love, I am always glad to agree to," Maglor murmured and kissed him again, hands going to play idly with Esgaron's lacings.

Esgaron returned every kiss, his mouth eager and needy against Maglor's. He fumbled with laces, but wasn't quite dexterous enough with two fingers out of commission. Maglor nipped delicately at his lower lip and undid Esgaron's laces before helping him with his own. As Maglor peeled away the fabric of their clothes, at first, Esgaron just luxuriated in the feel of his lover's skin against his, warm in the sunshine, smooth as satin where not marred by scars. The hand on his good arm lightly caressed Maglor, running along his shoulders, back and chest. 

"Stars, Cano, you are so desirable..." Esgaron whispered.

Maglor shivered under Esgaron's attentions, bending his head to kiss the expanse of his lover's skin. "Mm, you shine bright today, love. How envious the Sun must be!"

"If I shine, it is for you, my lovely." Tenderly did he run fingers through Maglor's hair, and lay back so he could better receive those sweet kisses on his skin.

"Then, truly, I am the most blessed of all the Eldar, to have such a treasure as this," Maglor said. He looked with at him with a smile before going back to exploring Esgaron's torso with lips and tongue, tasting the warmth and faint salt, looking for the spots that he liked the best.

A low moan rumbled in Esgaron's throat, and he gasped whenever Maglor found a sensitive spot. "Ahhh, Cano... Do you mean to undo me first?" he asked.

"Mm, well, my love, I suppose I am, as I have you rather distracted right now," Maglor teased, trailing fingers down to tease along the line of Esgaron's hips.

Esgaron moaned again, more loudly, his pleasure mounting. "Cano... I am going to get you back for this, I swear it."

"Promises, promises, my lovely one," Maglor cooed, "You must admit, you are hardly convincing right now!"

Esgaron made a needy sound, and the hand on his good arm strayed to Maglor's hip. "I will _try,_ " he insisted.

"Hmm." A frisson of excitement ran through Maglor, making him shiver a little, but he chuckled and nibbled playfully along Esgaron's neck. "You might need to try harder than that, love!"

Esgaron panted as Maglor kissed his neck, squirming under his touch, spastically gripping at the blanket under him. Then, with no small amount of effort, he pushed Maglor up, rolling him so Esgaron was more or less on top. He started slowly, decadently, kissing down Maglor's neck and chest. "Better?" Esgaron asked as his tongue swirled around one of Maglor's nipples.

Maglor laughed softly when Esgaron pushed him up and obligingly let him do so, curious to see what he would do. But, oh, at those kisses... He melted, arching up under Esgaron's clever tongue with pleasured groans mixing with his laughter. "Oh, much better, love! Ai!"

"Good." Esgaron continued to kiss downward, using his unbroken fingers to softly stroke his lover. He gripped as best as he could, trying to watch Maglor's face to see if he would be able to undo him as such. "...is this enough, Cano?"

"Ah, love," Maglor moaned, low and wanting, "You... ai! Are as clever as ever."

"...But is it going to be _enough,_ love?" Esgaron's brow creased faintly with worry and he bit at his lower lip.

Maglor trembled, arching further into Esgaron's hands. "Mm, my... sweet king... don't... stop..." he pleaded. Esgaron continued to stroke, but also kissed downward along Maglor's belly, hesitating only briefly before he started dropping soft kisses on his lover's shaft and head. Maglor whimpered softly when he did so. "Esgaron, Esgaron, love, please..."

"I love you, Cano." Esgaron's words were a caress in themselves. He gave him a long lick and then delicately took Maglor into his mouth, sucking gently, bright eyes watching his face the whole time, anxiously watching his reactions, knowing words would soon fail his beloved.

"Ai!" Maglor cried. Esgaron got plenty of reactions, Maglor gasping and whimpering in a fading voice. "Oh... love..." And there went his words.

The experience was so new, strangely mystifying to Esgaron. How curious that his lover should feel bigger in his mouth than in his hand! It seemed warmer that way. He could feel Maglor's pulse throbbing against his lips in a way he hadn't imagined before. In some ways, it felt like he was trying to suck on something with a mind of its own, so it was a little awkward trying to coordinate lips and tongue and avoiding teeth, still gripping and trying to stroke with his injured hands. But how long had it been since he had last undone his beloved? Esgaron wanted to please Maglor so badly. So he kept doing his best, gently working him, watching every reaction to see if he did something Maglor did or didn't like. Maglor's words were gone, but he could still show his appreciation in soft gasps and whimpering moans when Esgaron did something he particularly liked, hands fisted down by his side so he didn't pull on hair as he arched a little, even with his sounds slowly dying to silence. He had almost gotten him there, Esgaron could tell. So, he redoubled efforts on the things Maglor seemed to like best, running his tongue along the underside, sucking carefully on the pulse points, lavishing decadent kisses over the head, increasing the pace of his strokes. Having gone silent as always, Esgaron's only warning was the way Maglor's hand reached to clench on his shoulder before he shuddered quietly in release.

...The warning wasn't quite enough. Esgaron tried to catch it in his mouth, but suddenly he pulled off in alarm, seed running out of the corners of his mouth as he started coughing and spluttering and gasping for air. At first, it was hard to tell if his eyes were watering, or if those were actually tears streaming over his cheeks. What arousal he had quickly diminished, and he curled up, shivering helplessly next to Maglor.

Maglor panted, suddenly exhausted, but he saw Esgaron's distress and reached out to him. "Esgaron? Love, what is wrong? Did I hurt you?" he asked, gathering him into his arms.

"N-not your fault, Cano..." Esgaron stammered as he tried to wipe off his mouth and get air back into his lungs, and he immediately nestled into Maglor's comfort. He was still trembling. "It just... It came so _fast_ and my mouth was full before I could swallow and... and it was salty... and... it was like... _then_ again."

"Oh, love, I am sorry." Maglor carded a hand through his lover's hair. "I should have thought of that. We won't do it again, all right?"

"Well, or at least I pull off before you finish," Esgaron muttered, as much to himself as to Maglor. Then, he glanced up and asked in a small voice, "...did you like the way it felt?"

"Yes," Maglor admitted shyly, "You have a very clever mouth, love. But if it upsets you, I am happy to leave it be."

"It was fine until the end... My fault for trying to swallow, I suppose," Esgaron sighed, "But I am happy I was able to please you."

"You always please me, Esgaron. I am surely the most fortunate of individuals." Maglor ran his fingers through the bright hair and kissed him gently. He could still taste himself on Esgaron's lips.

Esgaron happily accepted the kiss, pressing close against Maglor. "It just... it had been so long since last I undid you..." he said, playing idly with a lock of Maglor's hair.

"Ah, love. That has never mattered to me - although I certainly enjoy it when you do! It is enough for me to simply be with you," Maglor said.

"It matters to _me,_ Cano," Esgaron insisted, "I... I needed to give you something back. You have done so much for me. I love you so much. And words do not always feel like enough."

"Oh, my generous love," Maglor murmured softly and brushed a kiss to the warm skin of his cheek. "Thank you. But do not ever feel obliged - words mean more than you think, especially from one who loves me."

Esgaron softly kissed Maglor in return, catching his lips once again. "I wanted to. I enjoy bringing you pleasure as well," he said.

Maglor let the kiss linger, but he kept it gentle. "That, my sweet love, is all that matters to me - what you want."

"Mmmm." Esgaron absently traced Maglor's skin with his fingers. "You are so beautiful, Cano. The sunlight becomes you. Love becomes you. How can I help but want to delight in that beauty? I am sorry my carelessness spoiled the mood. I will do better next time."

Maglor shivered a little under Esgaron's fingers and kissed him again, slow and deep. "Flatterer," he murmured, "Do not be sorry for what you cannot help, my love. I love you, Esgaron."

Esgaron melted into the kiss, running his hands through Maglor's hair. When he pulled back, his eyes were silver embers again. "You are mine, Cano. As I am yours," he said.

"Always, love." Maglor smiled at him and tugged him into another kiss, unable to resist the temptation of his hands in Esgaron's silken hair. "But I think I need to thank you for earlier, hm?"

"Do you, now?" Esgaron arched a pale eyebrow. "You know that was a repayment for your sweetness to me earlier."

"Ah, so we are even?" Maglor teased him fondly, "So what now, _Aranya?_ "

Esgaron nuzzled gently. "Your arms... Your kisses, your touches... I am content," he said.

Maglor kissed him softly again. "My beautiful, sweet king. What did I ever do to deserve you?"

Esgaron was very happy to share in the kisses, and he hummed contentedly when they drew back. "You seem very intent on calling me a king today, Cano..." he observed.

"You are all but crowned today, Esgaron, with the sun shining golden in your hair. I can hardly help it!" Maglor countered.

Esgaron laughed. "I must have Arien's favor, indeed, if she crowns me while I am in naught but my skin. But see, she touches you, too. You cannot see the gleam in your hair, nor the glow in your cheeks, my Cano." He stroked Maglor's cheek and kissed him with soft lips. "Perfection."

A shy flush rose in Maglor's cheeks, but his eyes were bright and he returned the kiss gently. "Again, I say to you, my love, that you flatter! There can be none so lovely as you on this side of the sea," he said.

Esgaron fell silent, affectionately running fingers through Maglor's hair, carding the dark strands over and over again. "...tell me your thoughts." The request was soft, but sudden. "The last several days, I feel I have been unable to close my mind. That my thoughts scatter so that anyone can see them, and others fall in, sometimes unexpectedly. I have so many voices in my head that I forget which one is mine. But where is yours? Where is my Cano's voice to cut through the chaos and put it to rest?" he asked. "Let me hear what you have been thinking so I can find yours in the storm."

Maglor blinked up at him and hummed thoughtfully. "Mm, I have been worried about you, mostly. I worry that I left it too late, that your injuries are worse because I did not seek aid in time. I rejoice to see the bloom of health in your cheeks again, I give thanks for your smile. I am grateful to Elrond, who took us both in without question and smiles at me. I am grateful to your sister. I look at your nephews and I miss my brothers. But mostly... I hear the song of the Valley, and it sings of Rest," he said.

"Are those your thoughts when I sleep, as well?" Esgaron asked. He looked at Maglor expectantly.

"When you sleep, I think of how lovely you look, gilded in moonlight, and peaceful," Maglor said fondly, "I listen to the song of the wind and the stars and the water. And when you dream, I worry that you will never know peace."

"Peace?" Esgaron repeated. He nestled into Maglor's side, tucking his head into its familiar spot under Maglor's chin, curling around his lover. "...is that not what this is?"

There was a slightly startled pause and then Maglor's arms closed around Esgaron to hold him close and he laughed softly. "You have the right of it there, my love. It certainly seems so," he agreed.

"I know Elrond remembers me as a warrior, but I do not feel I am. I need no sword. Just this," Esgaron breathed against Maglor's neck.

Maglor hummed softly. "War makes brothers of the survivors. Those who saved your life, whose life you saved - that bond is hard to break. Shared experiences, too. You might never have met the person, but being able to say 'ah, I remember!' is a bond of its own. Elrond misses you, I think. Certainly, he respects and looks up to you. For the memory of that bond, even if not for his wife, he will do his best to see you well, and try to reforge a friendship with you," he said.

Esgaron crinkled his brow in puzzlement, moving so he could look up at Maglor, searching his beloved's face. "...he misses me...?"

"Elrond has lost much in his life," Maglor said, "Aye, I deem he misses you - both a sword brother who fought beside him, and a law-brother by marriage. I reckon news of your death hurt him deeply."

Esgaron went quiet again. "I..." He broke off, shaking his head. "I cannot bring back the _ellon_ he misses."

"He knows," Maglor assured him, "but in honour of that _ellon,_ he will do his best by you."

"...does it hurt them much, do you think, to see a face they know which belongs to a stranger?" Esgaron asked.

Maglor nodded slowly, thoughtfully. "I imagine it does. But... at your core, you remain still yourself. Your sister recognised more than just your face, after all. The twin bond is still there, albeit doubtless a little damaged. They have not really lost you, after all."

"It is strange to me as well. Names, faces, voices. Things I should know, but do not," Esgaron mused, "And then... there is you. Who loves and accepts me with no expectation. Where I do not have to be anyone but who I am. You are home for me, Cano. Where I am safe and loved." He kissed Maglor lightly.

"Ah, my love - I never knew you before, after all. 'Tis easier for me," Maglor said, and he kissed back eagerly, "And you brought the light back into my life."

"And you the very life into mine," Esgaron said. He pressed his lips to Maglor's in another long kiss, followed by a lazy sort of cuddle. "You know, Cano... You told me once that you had known _of_ me. You were aware of my birth. You must have guessed at what your cousin's children would be like. Did I meet your expectation?"

Maglor hummed into the kiss, a low, comfortably happy sound. "Hm... I suppose I did a little - but I do not think I was ever sure what you would be like," he said, "Your mother was strong-willed - is still! But, in her youth, that came out as pride and willfuness. Your father I knew little about, but to stand beside your mother, I knew he must have had a will to match hers. About all I could say for certain, then, was that any child of theirs must needs also be strong and willful - and you certainly are that, my love!"

"Is that all, Cano? Nothing but stubbornness was expected of me?" Esgaron asked, too innocently. He dragged lazy kisses over Maglor's skin.

Maglor shivered under his lover's attentions, running his hands through golden hair. "I was sure they must be beautiful," he managed in a voice gone slightly breathless, "And that also you fulfill."

Esgaron smiled adoringly and slowed the kisses to play with a stray lock of Maglor's hair, brushing the ends over his lover's skin to tickle gently. "Anything else, Cano?"

Maglor squeaked a little at the tickle, flinching away with a laugh in his eyes. "Mm, I thought that they must have been clever and wise, and you are that too," he added.

"Stars, Cano. It seems the only surprise I brought you was this." Esgaron pulled Maglor into a long and loving kiss.

Maglor melted into the kiss, holding Esgaron close. "That," he agreed when he could speak again, "I was not expecting at all."

"Nor did I." Esgaron lavished more sweet kisses on Maglor. "But falling for you has been beyond any dream. To love, and to have that love returned to me... I could not be happier."

"Nor I." Maglor returned each and every kiss, happily caressing Esgaron's hair. "I had thought there was no joy left for me in this world, until you."

"I love you too, Cano."

"And I, you."

Words fell by the wayside as Esgaron became very much interested in Maglor's mouth. Particularly in the form of long, slow kisses. Maglor kissed back slowly and sweetly, running fingers through his lover's hair to hold him close, trailing them teasingly down his neck. Esgaron shivered ecstatically under those touches.

"...I am so in love with the way you kiss me..." Esgaron murmured against Maglor's lips, "...the way you touch me... No one has ever loved me like this before..."

Maglor kissed him obligingly, leaving his lips to take his turn brushing featherlight down his throat. "I am glad to be yours, Esgaron. So very grateful to have this chance."

"Ahhh..." Esgaron gasped and his head started to fall back. "I grow impatient for the wedding."

"My beautiful love." Maglor nuzzled his way down Esgaron's throat fondly. "You make it so hard for me to behave."

Esgaron's eyes were silver embers again, burning behind the golden hair falling into his face. "...and if I asked you _not_ to behave?" he asked.

Maglor looked back at him with eyes that burned as brightly, voice softly hoarse as he fought for control. "I would wonder how badly, my sweet one, and do my best to see you come apart under me," he replied.

The glow brightened and Esgaron toyed with a lock of Maglor's hair. "And if I told you as badly as you dared?" he pressed.

Maglor moved to nudge Esgaron back, kissing his ear and pulling back just enough to tell him, "As my king commands."

Esgaron shivered in anticipation as he lay back. "Gently, my Cano. Gently," he whispered.

Maglor kissed him and then nuzzled his way down his neck again, hands smoothing over his torso, looking for his sensitive spots. "As gentle as I can be, love," he promised, but he nipped teasingly at Esgaron's pulse point, keeping it light.

Esgaron gasped, arching his neck. He had more tender points than sensitive ones on his torso right then, marked with breath rasping between his teeth when Maglor found one, but he still trembled under his lover's touch. Maglor was careful, but thorough, brushing feather light and teasing until he found the places that make Esgaron squirm, and then he paid more attention, licking and nipping gently.

"A-ah!" Esgaron cried. He squirmed as much as his injuries would allow without paining him, a flush rising in his skin. He panted softly and twines his good fingers in Maglor's hair.

"Tell me if I push too far, love," Maglor murmured softly, and then went on a determined hunt to find all Esgaron's favourite spots, mapping with tongue and teasing fingers.

Esgaron gasped and shivered and moaned, occasionally punctuated by a pained hiss between his teeth or a sharp cry if Maglor found a spot too tender. "...Cano..." he moaned. Maglor hummed, pleased, teasing slowly further down. Esgaron's arousal had ratcheted back up into a fever pitch, leaving him flushed, hair falling in disarray into his face, eyes bright with silver fire, hard and leaking. "...Cano, please..." he begged.

A low chuckle rumbled in Maglor's throat. "Well, you did tell me to be bad, my love," he crooned. But obligingly, he did - achingly slowly - start kissing his way right down, before he licked softly up Esgaron's shaft.

Esgaron cried out and shuddered at the feel of Maglor's tongue on him. "Cano... Getting close..." he warned breathlessly.

Teasing, Maglor backed off, shifting a little to come and kiss him. "My pretty one," he cooed.

Esgaron kissed back eagerly, even a little aggressively, desperately crushing his lips against Maglor's, tongue seeking, probing, demanding. "Cano, my Cano... My beautiful raven..." he groaned, wrecked under his lover's attention. Maglor kissed him just as eagerly, opened his mouth to him, and his hand went down to stroke. Esgaron moaned into the kisses, fingers running through Maglor's hair. His breath started to catch and he trembled under his lover's touch. "Just... a little more... _Ai_...."

Deliberately, Maglor slowed his strokes, taking his time. "Will you come undone for me, _Aranya?_ " he asked.

"Y-yes...." Esgaron gasped and bucked and spilled against his stomach and Maglor's hand. Maglor stroked him to it and kissed him gently after. For a while, Esgaron just lay breathless in Maglor's arms. "Mmm. Thank you, love," he murmured.

"Was I bad enough for you, love?" Maglor asked.

Esgaron kissed him again, sweetly. "For now. At least, until we are wed. Ah, but you do spoil me so..." He nuzzled Maglor playfully.

"'Tis easy to spoil one you love, Esgaron." Maglor smiled at him and kissed the tip of his nose. "My greatest joy is seeing you smile."

Esgaron scrunched up his face and stifled a giggle when Maglor kissed his nose. "Well, it seems like it has been a while since I have been so joyful with you. These last days have been... difficult. I do not know if I would have done so well without you," he said.

Maglor laughed softly at the look on Esgaron's face. "No one ever enjoyed being an invalid, love. And I am sure you would have been fine - if perhaps rather more bad tempered!"

"What a horror I would be to my poor sister's family then," Esgaron said with a wry smile. He snuggled in more closely. "Mmm, so lovely and warm..."

Maglor gave a low chuckle as he nosed against Esgaron fondly. "If you are cold, love, perhaps we should get dressed again!" he teased and wrapped his arms around him lovingly.

"...do you _want_ me dressed, Cano?" Esgaron teased in return. He nosed back affectionately, happy to be in Maglor's embrace.

Maglor chuckled again and brought a hand up to card gently through golden hair. "I don't know, love; do you want me to be bad again?"

"Perhaps once my ribs have had a chance to rest first, love," Esgaron said. He gingerly rubbed one of the bruised spots.

Maglor makes a low noise of apology, his brow knitting in concern. "Forgive me, Esgaron - I did not make it worse, did I?" he asked.

Esgaron shook his head. "Worse? No, I do not think so. But they are yet tender."

Maglor relaxed and kissed him very gently. "That is good! But we probably should get dressed and eat something, I think," he said.

Esgaron made a little noise of protest and stole a kiss back. "Ah, but I enjoy being like this with you! But, if we must..." Esgaron heaved a mock sigh and reached for his clothes. "A little help, please, Cano?"

Maglor laughs softly into the kiss. "You, my love, are insatiable! But your family will have my head if I put back your recovery," he said. Obligingly, he shifted to help Esgaron with the various laces and buttons.

"I am not insatiable. I am just very fond of your skin against mine. And your warmth. And your kisses. I would happily spend an entire day with you like this," Esgaron said, "...but thank you, Cano."

Maglor brushed a gentle kiss against his cheek. "I, as well - but there are other concerns, eh? I am only teasing. Here now - something to eat, or something to drink first?" he offered.

"Drink, first, I think. You have made me rather thirsty, I fear," Esgaron said.

Maglor nodded and poured them both the juice - the wine, he decided, they could leave for after. "There, love," he said, "Now - let's see what bounty we have in here!" It was time to unload the basket!

Esgaron downed half his glass in one draught. "Ah. Much better," he said as he joined Maglor at the basket. "What all do we have?" He pulled out the sandwiches, a small wheel of cheese, cold meats wrapped in paper. "There is still more!"

Maglor whistled softly. "Look here - preserves, jam... is that _pie?_ "

Esgaron kept pulling things from the basket, including several pieces of fruit. "Stars. Did Erestor think us underfed?" he asked.

Maglor's eyebrows rose as he pulled out half a cold chicken. "Apparently! I sincerely doubt even your new appetite is up to finishing this!"

"How long did he think we would be out?" Esgaron wondered as he pulled out a loaf of crusty bread. "Still... I can try."

"For a week at least, it would seem!" Maglor fished out yet another bottle of... "Tea! This is apple tea, I believe. And muffins - which explains the jam and this must be cream," he said, "I suppose you can try, my love - but I do not think you will succeed."

"We could spend the night out here and still have enough for breakfast tomorrow, certainly. No wonder you said the basket was heavy! Where do you want to start?" Esgaron asked.

Maglor shook his head in amused wonder. "Well... let's see - why don't we start with the cheese and cold meat? Is there a stream or pond nearby? We can put the cream in it to keep it cool."

Esgaron shrugged. "I do not know, Cano. Even if my memory were complete, I have spent little time here."

"Hm." Maglor tipped his head to listen before shaking his head. "There is too much water in Rivendell for me to tell which way is the closest. Well - so long as we leave the basket in the shade I think it should be fine. Shall I cut you some of the meat, love? Or do you want to try the cheese first?"

"Ah, a little of both, actually, I think," Esgaron said. He finished his juice and poured some tea into his cup. "What about you, Cano?"

"Could you pour some for me too, Esgaron?" Maglor hummed and cuts them both portions. "I thought to start with the cheese, but I confess this ham looks most delicious! So I might copy you, I think."

"Of course." Esgaron poured a cup for Maglor as well. "Let us share, then." He found some cutlery inside to eat it with as well. "Did you want some of the bread with yours?" Esgaron asked.

"Thank you, love - I think I will. Should we open the preserves, you think?" Maglor said.

"If you are wanting them." Esgaron opened the jar and spread a thin layer on a slice of bread before giving it to Maglor. "There you are, _Meleth._ " He took his filled plate. "And thank you." Esgaron definitely still had his appetite, as he started eating with gusto. "Erestor has spoiled us, indeed."

Maglor ate more slowly, but he sampled a little of everything and he chuckled at Esgaron's remark. "Aye, he has - at this rate, I do think that, provided the weather stays good, we could certainly stay out all night!"

"Do you want to?" Esgaron looks at him curiously between bites. "We brought blankets enough we should be able to rest comfortably out here, if you wish."

Maglor considered that idea carefully. "I... am not sure. It might be fun, perhaps? Unless it rains again."

That made Esgaron shudder a little, and he quickly drank his tea and refilled his glass with wine to disguise it. "I hope it does not. But I do not smell fresh rain on the wind..."

"Mm, after such a deluge as last night, I imagine we will have a few dry days, at least," Maglor assured him, "But what about you, love? I don't really mind, either way."

"I... would not mind a night to ourselves under the trees. Especially if I have you to hold me while I rest," Esgaron said, a shy smile on his lips. He placed his hand on Maglor's.

"Then we might as well, hm?" Maglor curled his hand around Esgaron's fondly. "I am sure if Elrond needs us, he will have ways to find us. But we may as well take advantage of our bounty!"

"Indeed. Can I tempt you with dessert, love?" Esgaron asked as he drank the wine. His eyes gleamed over the rim of the cup.

"Most certainly - the only problem is what to pick!" Maglor said.

Esgaron gave Maglor a mischievous smile. "...I might have a suggestion." He took the jar of preserves and smeared a bit over his wine-darkened lips before moving to kiss Maglor softly and slowly.

Maglor laughed softly and licked at his lips when kissed. "Dear, dear me," he teased lightly, "Whatever would your parents say, playing with your food!"

Briefly, uncertainty flickered across Esgaron's face. "I... could not say," he said, "But it was only a little. Had you not insisted on us dressing first, I could have done worse."

Instantly contrite, Maglor brushed a kiss across Esgaron's cheek. "Sorry, love, I did not mean to upset you with the lack - I was only teasing."

"I know, Cano." He kissed Maglor gently, lips still a bit sticky, "Do not worry about it, my sweet."

Maglor returned the kiss equally gently, tongue lightly flicking at the sweet stickiness on Esgaron's mouth. "You are so good to me, love."

"Says the _ellon_ who had the idea for this lovely picnic." Esgaron nuzzled happily.

Maglor reached up to run fingers gently through his blond hair as he dropped featherlight kisses on Esgaron. "So, I suppose we are both fortunate, love."

Esgaron moved into those kisses, trying to catch Maglor's lips again. "Well. Lovers are supposed to spoil each other, no?" His eyes sparkled with mischief.

Maglor teased him, backing out of the way and coming back at a different angle. "That is true, so I suppose we are doing well, then!"

"Very well. Now, stop that so I can kiss you properly." Esgaron brought his hands up to catch Maglor's face between them and planted a solid kiss on his lips.

Maglor laughed musically and let himself be caught, kissing back enthusiastically, tugging Esgaron close. "Well, now that you have caught me, my love, what will you do with me?"

"I am going to keep you. For always," Esgaron replied. He touched his nose to Maglor's affectionately as his arms came down to drape around his beloved's neck.

"Oh good." Maglor nosed back fondly. "Because I do not feel particularly like leaving."

"If you leave, you will simply have to take me with you, Cano. We are too closely bonded already. No one has ever loved me the way that you do," Esgaron said. He lovingly stroked Maglor's hair.

Maglor leaned into that touch with a low, contented hum. "I hope to see that no one ever will," he said, turning his face to kiss Esgaron's palm.

"...I am just sorry I came too late to be your first." Esgaron flashed him a rueful smile.

"Fal would have liked you, I think," Maglor murmured softly, "But, either way, there is no use wondering - too far in the past, and too much blood lies between us now. Unless she decides to sail this way to smack me one day."

"Liked me?" Esgaron raised an eyebrow, his expression incredulous. "Would she not be cross with me, being the wicked boy who stole your affections?"

"Oh, most definitely, yes," Maglor agreed, "But Fal was as tempestuous as the sea she loved so much. Her tempers would blow over as suddenly as they began. I think you might have had to grovel, but she would eventually forgive you." He paused, the old familiar ache in his heart, even as he looked into the beautiful face of his betrothed. "I... will always love her, Esgaron. Can you bear that?"

"...My Nimrodel loved the woods as much as I did. That much I remember. I can still hear her voice in the night sometimes..." The look on Esgaron's face was dreamy, his gaze faraway, trying to see into the dimness of his past. "But I do not think she would ever forgive you. She could be as cold as the river which bore her name."

"As much as I love you, Esgaron, I both mourn that you did not have your chance with her as rejoice that I will never have to compete," Maglor said.

"And I am sorry that I will never be able to replace her for you." Esgaron's eyes fluttered closed and he took a deep breath as he returned his attention to the present. "But yes... When I take you into me upon our marriage, I will have no comparison."

"You do not have to." Maglor cupped Esgaron's cheek fondly. "You are you, and I love you for that alone." He brushed a gentle kiss across Esgaron's cheek and promised, "I do not know what will happen when we wed, but I will do my best to make it a night you do not forget."

"How could I forget, Cano?" Esgaron leaned into the touch and kissed Maglor's hand, an echo of Maglor's actions earlier. "I do not think one forgets the moment of such union. At least, not for anything less than a head injury. It will be the moment I am yours in every way." 

"A day I wait for eagerly, my sweet," Maglor agreed.

Esgaron cocked his head, his hair spilling over his shoulder. "Still... I would hear more of your Fal. She held your heart first. I would honor her in that and be as good a caretaker as I can be."

A soft laugh bubbled on Maglor's lips. "Fal... she was tempestuous and impetuous at times, with _such_ a temper. Strong willed but also flexible. Very like the sea, in many ways. She did as she pleased but she would also give the appearance of bending to the wills of others. Very like water, she seemed to fit anywhere, while wearing away resistance until she could take the path she chose."

Esgaron went quiet again. "I see," he said after a moment, his voice little more than a whisper, "I... I am so very sorry, Cano. I have drawn you away from that which you love. I did not mean to..."

"No." Maglor pulled him close to kiss him fiercely. "You did nothing I did not wish for. Do not ever apologise for that. She is gone and beyond my reach, who slew her with my own hand. You gave me something I never thought I would ever have again, Esgaron. Never, ever apologise - because I am _not_ sorry."

"But... the sea... Cano, I _can't_... But I know you love it so much..." Esgaron protested, his stammers trailing off.

"Ssshhh. I know, love, I know," Maglor soothed, "I do not begrudge it of you."

"...it seems strange, Cano. You love the sea so, but there is nothing of the water in me," Esgaron mused.

"So?" Maglor shrugged. "I have nothing of the forest in me, my love, and yet you love me all the same," he said, "I love you because you are _you,_ not because you remind me of anything."

"You have the music in you, Cano. I would not be much of a Sindar or Silvan without love of that," Esgaron said, beginning to brighten once more.

"And are you not the sun, my love? Noldor always love the light, you know," Maglor said and kissed him teasingly.

"So you tell me, anyway." Esgaron smiled and kissed back.

"If I say so, 'tis only because it is true." Maglor smiled too and nosed against him fondly. "Are you hungry again, Esgaron?"

Esgaron blinked, suddenly distracted by the offer of food. "...oh, I suppose I could still eat a little more... Did you want more?" he asked. Already, he was grabbing for the fruit.

A chuckle rumbled in Maglor's throat. "I don't mind a bit - but I am not quite hungry again yet. Shall we share some of the grapes, perhaps?"

"Depends." Esgaron's eyes glittered. "Will we feed only ourselves, or each other?"

Maglor laughed and tossed a grape at him playfully. "How good are you at catching, Esgaron?"

Esgaron had to stretch, neck arching gracefully, but he caught the grape in his mouth. "Keep your aim true, Cano, and I can catch," he said.

Maglor laughed again softly and did so, carefully tossing them one by one for his lover to catch. "Carefully now, my sweet!"

For the most part, Esgaron actually caught them successfully, though a few bounced off his nose or chin or cheek. "And to think, you chided _me_ for playing with the food," he teased gently.

Maglor was still laughing, but he stopped throwing the grapes, moving forwards to kiss Esgaron lightly. "Well, I should probably stop then, hm? Lest my, er... authority be disrupted," he said.

"Your authority?" Esgaron raised his eyebrows in amusement. "Dear Cano, I think you cannot make up your mind today. You call me king, you call yourself authority. Goodness, you will make me dizzy. Perhaps I shall just have to keep your mouth busy, hmm, so you cannot distract me?" He kissed Maglor, sweetly, a little playfully.

"I think I am most confused," Maglor agreed with laughter still gleaming in his eyes, "Too much sun, perhaps?" He returned Esgaron's kisses just as playfully, nipping a little. "I think I should be quiet."

" _Cano._ " Esgaron couldn't help laughing, absently putting one hand over his healing ribs. "Do I need to hide beneath the other blanket so that I am not too bright?"

"I do not know..." Maglor squinted in pretend confusion. "Perhaps I need help becoming accustomed to the light?"

The ember-glow in Esgaron's eyes sparked back into life. "...what would you like me to do?" he asked.

Maglor smiled back up at him, slow and pleased. "Ah now, but if I am confused, I think I am not suitable to decide, no?"

"But how will I know how to make you accustomed to it, hmm?" Esgaron countered. He stuck his lower lip out a little in a mock-pout.

"Well, I suppose we'll have to experiment, won't we?" Maglor had to fight to resist nipping at that plump, pouting lip.

"I suppose so. Though something tells me it was futile having you help me get dressed again," Esgaron said. The quicksilver glitter in his eyes brightened and he brushed his hand over Maglor's.

Maglor turned his hand over to twine with Esgaron's, clasping it lovingly. "Hm, yes, I suppose so," he agreed. Letting go, he reached up to brush against buttons and ties. "Should I reverse that situation, do you think?"

"Mmm, my beauty..." Esgaron gently moved Maglor's hands away from the clasps on his clothes. "Not quite yet. I do not think I am recovered yet from our earlier play. My... condition makes it take longer, I fear. But soon," he said, "Though I think I know what I should give you for a wedding gift: Stock our stores high beforehand, beyond any feast we could prepare at once, and not dress for the entire first week."

Maglor let his hand drop away with an understanding hum and then laughed softly. "A whole week! Are you not overestimating how long we can go without, love?" he said.

"No. Simply making it convenient for you. Letting you enjoy me how you want, even if it is only to look," Esgaron replied.

"Always so thoughtful, love." Maglor reached to brush fondly against Esgaron's cheek. "But I hope that you enjoy yourself too, after all!"

"Why would there be anything not to enjoy?" Esgaron asked as he leaned into the touch, "Do you look forward to anything in particular when we are wed?"

Maglor cupped his cheek tenderly. "I do not know - but I am used to predicting disaster, love. Happiness comes harder," he admitted, "Mm, being able to know you fully, I think."

"Oh? How do you mean, Cano?" Esgaron blinked at him. "I think you know as much as I do about myself."

"It is different, being wed," Maglor said, a loving smile on his lips, "I... do not know how to describe it, truly - but the bond is... something else. It is knowing a part of you is forever held by another, and you hold a part of them. It is knowing the other in all their depths, the good, and the bad. I only hope... you are not disgusted."

"Is there anything yet lurking you have not told me, Cano?" A fresh spill of golden hair tumbled over his shoulder as Esgaron canted his head. "I have heard your laments, and I still remain at your side. I only wonder... will you see the parts of me that I have not yet found? The missing pieces?"

"Not that immediately comes to mind. But I wonder sometimes how deep the scarring goes, how ugly I must be inside..." Maglor sighed, "I do not know, love. I suppose we will find out."

"No... No, Cano," Esgaron tried to soothe, "You are beautiful. You are to me." He kissed Maglor lightly.

"Ah, love." Maglor smiled and kissed him back gently. "You comfort me. I never thought anyone would be able to love me, and here you are."

"I am," Esgaron said, "Here, and in love and never leaving you." He nuzzled, brushing his lips over Maglor's face.

Maglor sighed happily and nuzzled him in return. "So you are, my lovely one. Such a miracle."

"You are the one who rescued me from the clutches of Mandos," Esgaron reminded him, "A miracle you found me in time. So, I have you to thank for every day since then. And I want to spend them all by your side."

"Ah, love - 'twas the Ocean who gave you to me, but your own strength was what kept you alive until I found you," Maglor said, "I am so, so grateful, Esgaron."

"As am I." Esgaron pulled Maglor in for more kisses. "Mmm. But Cano? Might I ask a favor? When... when my parents come, will you braid my hair? They should see the scar."

Maglor was only too happy to kiss him back, running his hands fondly through his hair. "Hm?" The question distracted him. "Ah... of course, love," Maglor said, collecting his thoughts, "Did you want me to put them into a proper pattern, or just a simple braid? I still do not have the right colors for you - although I am sure we can find them here."

Esgaron considered the options. "What pattern would you give me? And perhaps we should ask for the white gems. I still fear gold would be too easily lost in my hair," he mused.

Maglor hummed softly in contemplation, hand idly brushing through Esgaron's hair, imagining how the braids might take shape under his fingers. "I suppose the proper one would be the House braid for Arafinwë's line, using your mother's colors - I suppose she might have developed one of her own, but I suspect not, as the Sindar do not do such things, beyond warrior braiding. And then I add the twist for King, for so you were, and maybe a courting braid," he suggested.

Esgaron cocked his head and laughed sheepishly. "I did not know the Noldor had so many. Perhaps I take more after my father than I realized," he said, "Do you think they will suit me? And... what does a courting braid look like?"

"Well, one does tend to get a little... bored in paradise," Maglor said wryly, "Not that everyone played to the same fashions, of course - and certainly not all the time! But you used to be able, by simply looking - tell which family one was from, approximate status, and if one was... taken, as it were." He ran a shy hand through Esgaron's hair. "Very simple, really - it only mixes your colors with mine."

"Would not my mother be surprised to see my hair thus braided?" Esgaron smiled and lightly touched his nose to Maglor's. "So... Red with the white, then?"

"Well, it might distract her from her fury, I hope!" Maglor laughed moved to kiss him with soft lips. "Mm, red and blue, with white and gold yes."

"It sounds lovely. I would happily wear your colors, Cano." Esgaron eased into those gentle kisses blissfully.

"I am glad you think so, my love." Maglor kissed him slowly and sweetly, enjoying having him so close.

Esgaron slid his good arm around Maglor's neck, sighing into the kisses. "And you? Will you wear my colors?" he asked.

Maglor broke from the kisses so he could nuzzle along Esgaron's neck. "I will, I think. If anything, it will be a distraction for your mother!"

Esgaron's breath quickened, his pulse fluttering under his lover's lips when Maglor nuzzled his neck. "You are quite good at being a distraction, Cano, you know that."

Maglor huffed a low amused laugh into Esgaron's neck and nipped lightly. "Am I?" he asked, mock innocence dripping from his tone.

"Mm. Incorrigibly so." Esgaron's arms tightened around Maglor.

"Should I stop?" Maglor teased, kissing decadently down his beloved's neck.

"No," Esgaron whispered, kissing Maglor's hair, running his fingers through the dark lengths.

Maglor chuckled at that, a deep and throaty sound, and kissed him again, tangling his fingers in blond hair and tracing down Esgaron's throat with a featherlight touch.

"Lovely, bright Cano..." Esgaron sighed, "You do know how to make me feel wanted again."

"Ah, my golden one." Maglor laughed softly and kissed him gently. "You are confusing which of us is the bright one! If that is your worry, my love, then I must confess I want you with every breath and every thought." 

"And yet, you don't seem to like the idea of me spending our first week together married without clothes." Esgaron was teasing, mostly, mischief in his eyes.

"Because if you do, I fear I might forget to eat entirely!" Maglor retorted, laughter still on his lips.

"Even if I make for us a wedding feast that could last for a week and lay it out near our bed?" Esgaron offered. He didn't miss the fleeting hunger that crossed Maglor's face. It was soon followed by an amused snort and Maglor kissed him again.

"Well, I suppose, when you put it that way..." Maglor said.

"Not such a bad idea?" Esgaron's eyes glittered. "Do you mean to undo me again, sweet Cano?"

"Hm, I do believe I could be convinced," Maglor teased and reached up to nip lightly at Esgaron's ear, "Do you want me to, beloved?"

Esgaron considered, but couldn't help making a small noise of want when he felt Maglor nip at his ear. "I think I will sleep quite deeply tonight if you do. And shall hunger greatly. Perhaps that is why our picnic was packed with such bounty..." he said, voice gone breathless.

"Perhaps so." Maglor smiled and kissed him deeply, hands wandering again to his lover's laces. "But either way, I cannot say I _mind_ terribly..."

Esgarson melted happily into the kiss. "Ah, but how can I tell you no, Cano? You are too much a temptation."

"As are you, Esgaron," Maglor said and undid Esgaron's laces as he kissed him, slipped his hands under Esgaron's shirt to brush against nipples and trace delicate patterns across his skin. Esgaron gasped raggedly against the kisses, and his lips turned hungry, seeking and nipping Maglor's. "My beautiful love," Maglor murmured as he continued to tease, "So beautiful you look, so needy."

Esgaron reaches for Maglor, touching the dark hair reverently. "You prefer me needy?" he asked.

Maglor leaned into Esgaron's hand with a soft noise of contentment. "I prefer you always, love - needy or otherwise," he replied.

"Then I am yours to have, _mell nín._ " Esgaron kissed Maglor sweetly, and moved his arms up in a gesture of surrender. 

Maglor used the opportunity to divest Esgaron of his top before returning to kiss him, gently teasing his way down his torso. "A gift I am grateful for every day, beloved," Maglor said.

Esgaron whined needfully, "Ai, Cano..."

"So impatient, my love," Maglor said fondly, taking his time to kiss his way down Esgaron's torso, even as his hands went for Esgaron's pants. 

"Your hands are entirely too clever by half. You make it impossible not to respond. And your lovely mouth knows how to accompany them all too well," Esgaron retorted. Maglor's attentions had him aroused again and he sighed as Maglor unlaced his pants.

"I am glad you think so, my love, for I have only had you to practice on," Maglor said with a playful grin, and dropped a kiss to the line of his hips as he helped Esgaron remove his pants. "How do you want this, Esgaron?"

"Are you saying you got me undressed again without a plan?" Esgaron raised an eyebrow, but the twinkle in his eyes proved he was only teasing. "Mm. Gently, Cano. I would hate to overstrain myself."

Maglor laughed softly, kissing him again. "Any plans I have are always scattered away when I see you," he said. His hand dipped down teasingly to just lightly touch Esgaron. "But how would you like me, my love? Hands, while I kiss you? Or shall I put my mouth to other uses?" he asked.

Esgaron sighed into the kiss at Maglor's touch. "Ah, Cano. I can never say no to your kisses and touch," he said.

Maglor kissed him again, fingers teasing with light brushes before he closed his hand around his lover's shaft to stroke more firmly. "Tell me if I hurt you, my love," Maglor said.

Esgaron moaned, arching into the pleasure. "Mmm, no, it feels good, my sweet," he said, panting.

"You are so beautiful like this, beloved," Maglor murmured softly, crooning as he stroked, varying speed and pressure in response to Esgaron's reactions.

Esgaron gasped and squirmed, bucking into Maglor's hand, but the compliment made him smile. "Is that so, _meleth?_ " he asked.

Maglor could not resist a chance to kiss that smile, teasing by slowing down a little. "Very much so, beloved," he said.

Esgaron whined a little in protest, trying to move to get the sensation back to where it was. "Mm. So are you."

Maglor chuckled and actually briefly stopped, hovering just above touching. "What was that, love?" he cooed.

" _Cano_..." The name came out in a frustrated growl. "You are _beautiful_ and _wicked_ and will not say why you love me best this way."

Maglor laughed again, teasing with feather-light touches as he kissed him more. "Aye, well. I suppose I like seeing you like this and knowing it is all for me. I _am_ Fëanorionnath - and we are notoriously... possessive," he said.

Esgaron kissed back fiercely. "No, dear Cano. _You_ are _mine._ "

Maglor hummed into the kiss and renewed his attentions, stroking with sure motions. "We are each other's," he conceded. "Will you come undone for me, my love?" Esgaron gasped, sharp and shallow as his breathing became tight, until he finally cried out and spilled. Maglor stroked him through it, crooning softly at the sight of him, eyes possessive and pleased, "My beautiful, beautiful love."

Esgaron curled breathlessly into Maglor's arms as Maglor pressed a kiss to Esgaron's forehead and reached for a cloth to clean up. "Mmm. I feel so spoiled. _Thank you,_ Cano," he said, shivering with a dozen tiny frissons at the touch of the cloth, skin still sensitive.

Maglor kissed Esgaron's swollen lips, carefully wiping him down before wrapping him in his arms. "You are most welcome, Esgaron - I am happy to spoil you any time. Do you want to get dressed again, or are you warm enough?" he asked.

"I am warm as long as you hold me," Esgaron said as he nuzzled against Maglor's shoulder.

Maglor chuckled softly. "We will see if you still think that when the sun goes down!" he said, but he was quite content to snuggle, holding his lover close and humming softly to him.

"I brought a second blanket along..." Esgaron said. He half-drowsed in Maglor's arms, enjoying the humming.

"Good." Maglor pressed a gentle kiss to golden hair and kept humming - green and gold, flowers waking after spring. "Rest, love. Tell me when you get cold."

"Mmm. I think you are trying to put me to sleep," Esgaron said.

Maglor chuckled again. "If I do, love, it is because you need it."

"In the afternoon, though, Cano?" Esgaron shifted to look up at him. "Hmm. I think you just like watching me sleep. Especially naked and in sunlight."

"Alas, caught out." Maglor's mock sigh didn't hide his mirth. "In fairness, you are very beautiful, love."

"Thank my mother for that when she comes." Esgaron gave Maglor a drowsy, cheeky grin.

"Only your mother?" Maglor could not resist kissing that grin.

"Well, I can't say how much of my good looks came from my father. But you said my mother was beautiful," Esgaron said.

"She is," Maglor agreed and nodded, "But Celeborn is of Thingol's line, and I imagine he is also very striking."

"And lucky you, getting to hold and kiss the result of those lovely lines coming together." Esgaron smiled, nuzzling sweetly.

Maglor ran his fingers through golden hair until he could cup Esgaron's cheek as he leaned in to kiss him again. "So I am, the most fortunate of all." Esgaron returned the kisses blissfully, snuggling a little closer as a breeze brushed over his skin. Maglor reached to tug at one of the blankets even as he tugged Esgaron close. "Cold, love?" he asked.

"...Just a little," Esgaron admitted.

"Want to get dressed, or shall we just use the blanket?" Maglor asked.

"Depends, Cano." Esgaron gave him another drowsy nuzzle, but his eyes glittered under his lashes. "How many more times do you expect to undo me before morning?"

Maglor chuckles softly at him in answer. "I do not know, my love - how many times am I allowed lest I cause you more harm than good?"

"...As many as you want," Esgaron said and he kissed him breathlessly.

Maglor laughed into the kisses. "Greedy," he teased fondly.

"Am not," Esgaron countered, "Just rather madly in love with you."

"That makes two of us then."

Esgaron laughed softly, and drew Maglor back down into a tender kiss. Maglor was only too happy to reciprocate, enjoying just kissing him lightly for a while. Esgaron got a little lost in the sweet kisses, idly stroking Maglor's hair with gentle fingers, and shivered again with another gust of wind.

"...perhaps we should bring the other blanket over," he said.

Maglor eyed him at the shiver concernedly and nodded. "Alright - although if it gets much colder tonight, I will insist you get dressed again, my love," he said.

Soon, Esgaron had the blanket wrapped around him and was nestled warmly in Maglor's arms. Strands of golden hair fell in his face. "I think I am warm enough like this for now, sweetheart," he said.

Maglor brushed the hair out of his face and kissed him gently. "Alright, love, but do tell me if you get cold, alright? Are you hungry again yet?" he asked.

"I will, I promise." Esgaron hesitated. "...If I say yes, does that mean I will lose my cozy spot here?"

Maglor laughed, "Only so long as it takes to fetch the food and eat it, Esgaron."

"I want to stay like this a little longer first," Esgaron decided.

Maglor laughed and kissed him fondly again. "Then we shall. Today, my love, I am at your disposal."

"Are you?" Esgaron asked, "In that case... would you sing for me?"

"What do you want me to sing, Esgaron?"

Esgaron considered carefully, tracing a finger delicately over Maglor's cheek. "A song for us," he said, "Not just for me, even if it is how much you love me. But _us._ Together."

Maglor curled around his lover thoughtfully before softly starting to sing - picking up a story of a lonely crow finding a star on a beach after a storm. Esgaron snuggled in close, listening contentedly to the story. Maglor found his way through the story in a low and gentle lilt, the crow helping the star and developing a soft, hopeless love, knowing the star must return to the heavens one day. The brilliant, wondering joy when the star told him he loved him enough to stay. Bright days spent shyly learning about each other. And a soft, hopeful ending with a wish for a happily ever after.

"Oh, Cano..." Esgaron breathed. As the song came to an end, he kissed Maglor sweetly. "It... That is beautiful."

Maglor kissed him back, a pleased hum in his throat. "I am glad you liked it, love," he said, and then he frowned thoughtfully. "I will have to rewrite that properly later... some of that just didn't scan."

"What is it you would change, _Meleth?_ " Esgaron fixed Maglor with the same fascinated curiosity that Maglor gave him when he did his woodworking.

"This bit - here." Maglor hummed a section. "It is too weak. And here - that bit should go up instead of down, I think."

Esgaron shrugged. "I liked the music," he said.

"Yes, but it could be better..." Maglor mused.

"You fuss so, Cano," Esgaron said, "...and what is the happy ending you hope for?"

"I want it to be perfect." Maglor kissed Esgaron almost shyly. "Because I want it to be our happy ending. So it has to be perfect."

Esgaron laughed and kissed back playfully, nosing gently. "It makes me happy to hear you say that, Cano. You finally believing we will have a happy ending together," he said.

"I want to believe it." Maglor's kisses were still shy, but he smiled at the playfulness and hands drifted to card through golden hair. "I do not know that I can always manage it, but I want to believe it."

"I believe in it," Esgaron said, "I would like to think at this point we deserve one together. You and me, and all the stars above..."

"I think you have hope enough for the both of us, beloved - but I would like it very much," Maglor agreed.

"What do you want the most for us, Cano?" Esgaron asked, twisting a stray lock of Maglor's hair in his fingers.

"Your smile." Maglor kissed him gently. "Waking up to you in the mornings, going to sleep with you at night. Watching you at work and play."

Esgaron made a little noise of contentment in his throat, and his lips were sweet against Maglor's. "Ah, my sweet. You have those already! Or do you mean you will finally truly rest at night with me in your arms?"

Maglor smiled into those kisses. "Even so. _You_ are my happy ending, Esgaron. Just you."

"Cano..." Esgaron caught Maglor's hand and kissed the white ring on it before wrapping a lock of his bright hair around Maglor's finger. "Your ending is mine. And I will do all I can to ensure it is happy."

Maglor kissed him again and again, each more heartfelt than the one before. "You already do, Esgaron. You already do," he murmured.

"We will have so many days together, just like this. Bright and beautiful, just us, away from the rest of the world... Wonderful, happy days. I can't wait for them to begin." Esgaron sighed contentedly.

"Nor I, beloved." Maglor sighed just as softly and happily, a low content hum starting up. "I only hope I do not drive too deep a wedge between you and your father."

Esgaron blinked. "You seem so worried about the relationship between my father and me. Why?" he asked.

"Because no matter what, he is still your father," Maglor said, "Your mother is practical enough to let it slide, and she is my kin, besides. But your father... and I loved mine, and hated him also. I want you to be able to know him again, Esgaron. That relationship is one that I hope you can rebuild."

Esgaron went quiet for a little while. "...I remember very little of my father. And not just because of the head injury. My sister tried. She used our bond to give me everything she could but... My father simply... is not there for most of my adult memories," he said.

Maglor hummed in consolation, running fingers through Esgaron's hair. "Mm... that is sad, but... I would not wish to part the two of you before you have even the chance to begin again," he said.

"You are sweet and kind, Cano. But in the end it will come down to his behavior and mine while we are reunited. I do not doubt it will be difficult. I cannot denounce you, and I do not know if he will accept you. I can only hope he finds our happiness more important than what pride he carries."

"I know. But I wish it for you with a terrible desperation," Maglor said, "I suppose being so estranged from my own father, with no chance to even know if I can forgive him.... I wish for you to have what I cannot."

"If I am made to choose, Cano, I will choose you." Esgaron's words were matter-of-fact, but they rang with conviction.

"Ah, my love. I do not deserve you, Esgaron. But I will hope that it does not come to that," Maglor said.

"Deserved or not, you still have me lying naked in your arms and wearing your ring, and I have no wish to leave," Esgaron pointed out.

Feeling the start of tears pricking behind his eyes, Maglor pulled Esgaron close and kissed him soundly. " _Thank you,_ " he whispered.

Esgaron melted against Maglor's lips. "Ah, Cano," he sighed, "What will it take for you to see that I am here and yours? That I am no phantom and will not disappear? That I am real flesh and blood and fire, not a dream? Will you not believe it until we are wed?" He broke free of Maglor's arms, untangled himself from the blanket. It was not without difficulty, but he moved to straddle Maglor's hips. The afternoon sun caught in the cascade of his hair, making it blaze gold. "Is this what you need to be convinced?"

Maglor's breath caught at the picture he made (and, straddling him, Esgaron could doubtless tell that it aroused him too) and he reached up to trace Esgaron's face almost reverently. "Ah, my love. You look a veritable Ainur come to bless this poor soul. Can you wonder that I still believe myself sometimes to be dreaming?" he asked.

"You think so, _mell nín?_ " Esgaron raised an eyebrow. "I think you enjoy what you see. Has any Ainur earned such attention from you?" His hands drifted to the laces of Maglor's pants. "...Need I free you, my sweet?"

"None have ever paid me such attention as to know." Maglor whimpered a little at the tease. "Mm, only if you want to, love."

Esgaron teased further, rocking his hips against his lover's. "I see. Do you still think this a dream, my love?" he asked.

Maglor whined softly and arched up against Esgaron's shifting hips. "N-not when you do that," he stammered.

Esgaron laughed, low and velvety, and shook back his hair to catch the light. A few strands quickly fell back into his face, though. "Oho. Shall I do it again, then?" he teased. Not that he waited for an answer before he did.

"Esgaron!" Maglor bit back a moan. "Oh, love, do not tease so."

"Is there something you would rather I did instead, Cano?" Esgaron blinked sweetly, but his smile was filled with mischief.

Maglor almost growled at him, pulling him down to kiss him. "If you are going to do something Esgaron, then _do_ it and stop teasing!" he grumbled.

There was both heat and laughter in Esgaron's kiss. "Stars, Cano. How rarely do I see you so out of sorts. Are you afraid I will leave you wanting?" he cooed. Esgaron ground his hips forward more. He let his own length rest against his lover's, separated only by fabric, until even that contact made Esgaron shiver and he pulled back. He gently rubbed Maglor's erection through the cloth of his pants. "Let me free you..." He undid the laces and gasped when their lengths touched for a split second. "We're so close, Cano..." he sighed, the teasing in his voice melting into want.

Maglor arched up against him with a gasping moan as Esgaron ground his hips against him and then touched him. "You have... no idea what you do-- _ai!_ \--do to me, beloved," he panted. He shuddered as they touched, however briefly. "Please, love..."

"...I want you so badly, Cano..." The look on Esgaron's face was heartwrenching as he moved further back, careful not to have his hips too close to temptation, but he lovingly stroked as best he could.

Maglor whined as Esgaron pulled away, could not quite help it, only to gasp when he stroked, "S-soon, love. Ai!"

Esgaron stroked a little faster. "...is this all right, _meleth?_ Will it be enough?" he asked.

Maglor had to fight to keep from bucking up into his lover's hands and was all but beyond words again, only nodding frantically as he gasped, " _Esgaron!_ "

Esgaron took the cue and frantically shoved Maglor's shirt out of the way so when he spilled he didn't make a mess of his clothes. But he tenderly stroked his beloved through his climax and then moved to capture his lips in a kiss. "There now... I am no dream, Cano. All of this... all of it is real," he soothed.

Maglor arched and shuddered through his release, kissing back lazily. "So beautiful," he murmured softly, "I love you, Esgaron."

"As I do you, pretty raven." Esgaron snuggled back down into Maglor's arms. "Are you tired now?"

Maglor wrapped his arms around him and nuzzled him tiredly. "Yes, love - I fear you have worn me quite out," he said.

Esgaron tugged the extra blanket back up over them. "Perhaps a short rest, then?" he suggested.

"Probably a good idea," Maglor agreed. He helped Esgaron tuck it so they were both of them well cocooned. "Your injuries are not paining you, I hope?"

Esgaron nestled in, warm and cozy, tucking his head into its familiar spot. "Hmm. A little tender, but I think I will be all right," he decided. "You have given me so much pleasure. It seems like a better ache than most."

"Mm, good - I do not wish to undo the work that has been done!" Maglor reached up to card through golden hair fondly. "Rest, my love."

"Only if you rest as well, Cano." Esgaron nuzzled a little, but slowly his breathing turned deep and he went slack, soundly asleep in his beloved's arms.

"I will, love," Maglor promised. He kept up the carding until Esgaron dozed off, before he curled close and let himself wander into reverie.

Esgaron dozed contentedly for a few hours, warm in the blankets and sun and his beloved's arms. The sun was beginning to set when he started to stir. He stayed mostly still, a soft nuzzling kiss to Maglor's shoulder the first indication he was awake. Maglor roused when Esgaron did, nuzzling back fondly for a while before eventually he shifted.

"Did you sleep well, love?" Maglor asked.

"I did." Esgaron moved to give Maglor a sweet kiss to greet them waking up. "Did you?"

Maglor kissed back fondly. "I do not think I actually dropped off, but I rested well. 'Tis almost sunset, I think - shall we eat again?" he suggested.

Esgaron's stomach growled before he could answer. "...yes please," he muttered.

Maglor chuckled when he heard the growl. "Hm, good thing we were given such bounty, eh? Well, love, perhaps we had best set to. So you want to get dressed?" he asked.

"That depends. How long until you are going to want me naked again?" Esgaron countered, and he gave Maglor a mischievous smile.

"Well, I quite like you naked all the time," Maglor growled at him playfully, "but you do need to eat, and I do not want you getting unwell either if you get cold."

"I do not have to be clothed to eat, Cano. And I have you to keep me warm, yes? I think I can manage a little longer, in case you should decide you want me again before morning," Esgaron said. Still, he was already reaching for the food.

A low laugh rumbled in Maglor's throat as he kissed him. "You are an incorrigible flirt, my love," Maglor said. But food came first, and Maglor shifted to help.

"Only because someone made me fall in love with him." Esgaron happily returned the kiss. But, yes, food came first, and he started setting things out. "What are you hungry for, Cano?" he asked.

"Made! I might argue the same about you, love!" Maglor mock-tsked at him and could not resist bussing his cheek. "Mm, at the moment, something sweet - shall we try some of the tarts?"

"Of course," Esgaron said. He brought over the tarts and offered one to Maglor.

Maglor sat up and accepted it with a smile. "Make sure you eat as well, hungry one! I can still hear your stomach grumbling!" he teased.

"I will!" Esgaron promised. He had already set aside a handful of tarts. "But you should get your share so I do not eat it by mistake."

Maglor chuckled again and reached over to snag himself another. "All right, love - do not feel you have to stint yourself on my behalf - there is plenty, after all," he said.

"..if you are sure, Cano..." Five seconds later, Esgaron had most of a tart stuffed into his mouth. So much for regal table manners.

"I am." Maglor shook his head in amusement as Esgaron ate, reaching to pour them both a cup of the tea. "Ai! You _are_ hungry!"

Esgaron finished his bite. "You somehow doubted it?" he asked.

"If I did, you have certainly put paid to that, my love!," Maglor teased, "Did you even chew that, or was it swallowed whole?"

"Very funny, Cano." Esgaron stuck his tongue out playfully before polishing off the tart and starting on a second. 

"I thought so," Maglor laughed at him and leaned forward to steal a kiss in between bites, "Careful, love, or your face will stick that way."

"Well, that would make the kisses interesting. But I suppose it would distress you if it did," Esgaron mused. Soon, he was on to his third tart.

"Very interesting," Maglor chortled and started on his second, watching Esgaron fondly. "Do you want anything other than tarts, love? We still have plenty of cold meat and cheese, I think."

"Hmm, I suppose so," Esgaron agreed, "Maybe some of the fruit with it..." He dug through the food, and pulled out some of the fruit and meat and cheese. He wrapped some fruit and cheese into a thin slice of meat and began to eat it.

Maglor watched him fondly and reached across to pinch some of the cheese. "Are you sure you do not want bread with that?" he asked.

Esgaron shook his head. "Bread would be too much. This way, the flavors all play off each other. It tastes better without," he explained.

"Truly?" Maglor hummed thoughtfully. "You have me curious, love, may I try?"

"Of course, Cano." Fortunately, Esgaron hadn't eaten all of it, but he had to hold it firmly so it didn't fall apart. He brought it carefully to Maglor's lips, stealing a quick kiss first. "Tell me what you think."

Maglor was all too happy to pay in kisses and he took a bite and chewed thoughtfully. "Mm, I think you have hit on a new taste sensation there, Esgaron!" he said, grinning in delight.

"You like it?" Esgaron's cheerful smile brightened further. "I told you it was good."

"I do," Maglor said as he stole another kiss, "And I promise not to doubt your culinary taste again!"

"Considering I do most of the cooking, I doubt that will be any problem, Cano," Esgaron laughed, "Is there anything else you're wanting?"

Maglor chuckled but shook his head. "Mm, no... ah, actually - pass me one of the apples, love? A nice bit of fruit is always a good way to end a meal, unless you're still hungry?"

Esgaron passed over an apple as he bit into another tart. "There you go," he said, "I think there will still be plenty for breakfast as well, even with my appetite."

"If you are sure, Esgaron! We can always go back inside, I suppose, if there is not," Maglor said and crunched into the apple.

Esgaron draped himself along Maglor's side as he polished off the tart. "I am not yet ready to go back inside. I wish to spend the evening out here with you."

Maglor reached up to run a teasing finger down Esgaron's side in answer. "Well, in that case, who I am to refuse to watch the stars with you?"

Esgaron shivered a little at that touch. "You are making me glad I did not redress," he murmured.

Maglor chuckled and kissed him gently, doing it again, running that finger along Esgaron's ribs. "Well, it _was_ your idea, my love," he said, and took another bite of apple.

Esgaron kissed back with soft lips. "Will you be having me under the stars, then, Cano?" he asked.

Maglor teased gently, tongue flicking out to lick in the kiss. "I would certainly not object, Esgaron - or would you prefer to have me?"

Esgaron's tongue playfully batted at Maglor's, tasting the sweetness of the apple. "Mmm, such a decision," he sighed, "But I do not know how well I can resist temptation with you. And I will likely sleep until morning if you undo me..."

Maglor deepened the kiss, gently coaxing Esgaron into parting his lips further, and nipped lightly as he pulled back just an inch. "Well, that is fairly good motivation," he purred.

"Be still, my heart! That I might be fairly good motivation!" Esgaron's eyes twinkled with his teasing. "Though we should pace ourselves, my lovely, or we will miss the stars entirely."

Maglor chuckled again and pulled back a little further, nuzzling against him fondly. "This is true, and that would be a crying shame, considering all the effort that has been made to get us out here," he said.

Esgaron nuzzled too, and lightly kissed Maglor's nose. "It is wonderful having this time with you," he murmured and ran a loving hand along Maglor's side.

Maglor shivered and batted fondly at Esgaron's hand, his apple suddenly forgotten. "It is, and that tickles, love!"

"What, for me to touch you, Cano?" Esgaron gave him an innocent look.

Maglor mock-growled at him, "When you tease like that, yes!"

"Sorry, love, I only meant to be affectionate, give you a promise for later when the moon is high," Esgaron said, still looking innocent.

Maglor wasn't buying it for a second. "You, beloved, are terrible tease!" he said.

Esgaron kissed Maglor sweetly. "You enjoy it," he said.

Maglor kissed him back and tangled fingers in Esgaron's hair to tug fondly. "I do," he admitted, and then he poked Esgaron, looking for ticklish spots, "But it does not mean I will not look for retaliation!"

Esgaron caught Maglor's hands and kissed them. "Gently, Cano. Gently for now."

Maglor gentled immediately, twining his fingers with Esgaron's. "Sorry, Esgaron," he said.

"I know," Esgaron sighed, "I wish I were less fragile, too. I hope to heal soon." He leaned in for an equally gentle kiss.

"You will." Maglor met his kiss, gently and with sweet lips. "You do. You are already so much stronger, Esgaron. And I will remember not to push too fast."

"I think kisses under the stars help," Esgaron said, teasing just a little.

"You may be a little biased." But Maglor was only too happy to kiss him again, even with the teasing.

Esgaron smiled against Maglor's lips, a delighted giggle bubbling up in his kiss. "Well, biased for your kisses, perhaps," he said. Esgaron leaned back, looking up at the sky. "The stars are lovely tonight..."

"They are." Maglor tipped his head to watch Esgaron fondly. "It feels as if they are especially bright and loud, here. But perhaps when I am by the sea I cannot hear them so well."

"And what about in the woods back home?" Esgaron asked.

"Mm, clearer than by the shore, I think, though not quite so clear as here. I think the Treesong covers it, a little," Maglor mused.

"I think they're beautiful, shining down through the branches," Esgaron said.

"They are," Maglor agreed, "but I am often... rather distracted."

"Should I apologize, Cano? I hardly mean to distract you," Esgaron said.

Maglor laughed and kissed him, fondly mussing the golden hair. "Hardly! I rather like this distraction," he said.

Esgaron lovingly brushed a thumb over Maglor's cheek as they kissed again and again. "Then perhaps I shall endeavor to do so more often, _mell nín_ ," he murmured, "We have a perfect, romantic night for stargazing. Or me distracting you. Whichever you prefer."

Maglor broke from the kisses to rest against Esgaron with a contented sigh. "In truth, love, I am happy to simply lie here with you," he said.

"And I happy to be with you." Esgaron leaned against his beloved. "You know, the wood elves celebrate the stars every autumn," he remarked.

Maglor adjusted them both so he could wrap his arms around Esgaron again. "Do they?" he asked. "I never had much to do with them beyond those Avari tribes who consented to help us in the First Age - my brothers had more to do with them than I."

"Mmhmm. Having never seen the Trees, the starlight is most precious to them, and every year, it is celebrated during _Mereth en-Gilith,_ the Feast of Starlight," Esgaron explained.

"That sounds truly lovely - a good way to celebrate light. How do they celebrate it, love?" Maglor asked.

"There is a feast, of course..." Esgaron's expression got that faraway look of trying to bring back his lost memories. "...fine wines and white mead... Music and laughter... Dancing..."

Maglor was quietly encouraging as Esgaron tried to remember. "It sounds truly lovely," he murmured softly, "I wonder if Elrond's folk celebrate it too."

"I do not know. I suppose you could ask him," Esgaron admitted with a shrug.

"When we get back, I suppose - if they do... do you want to come back to celebrate with them?" Maglor asked.

Esgaron shook his head. "We need not travel so far. We have Silvan not far from home," he said.

"True." Maglor hummed softly. "I only wondered if you might have wanted to spend the time with Celebrían. But I am just as happy to stay home."

"Cano, I want to celebrate it with _you,_ more than anyone else," Esgaron said.

Maglor kissed him for that. "Thank you, Esgaron."

"Of course, Cano." Esgaron nuzzled lightly. "Would you promise me a dance?" he asked.

Maglor nodded and nosed back fondly. "The first and the last dance, my love, if you will have me," he promised.

" _Every_ dance, Cano," Esgaron corrected, "And I hope that you will love it as much as the Silvan do."

Maglor laughed at that. " _Every_ dance?" he asked, "Would you deny those who want to dance with you, my love?"

Esgaron looked more than a little surprised, eyebrows arching high. "Are you saying you would come among other Elves to celebrate?"

Maglor kissed him again, very gently. "If it would make you happy, yes," he said.

"Cano... I..." Esgaron was speechless. "...I love you, Cano," he finished, unable to think of anything else to say.

Maglor flushed a little, but he smiled to see Esgaron happy, pressing another gentle kiss to his cheek. "I would do anything in my power, love, to see you smile," he said.

"You spoil me," Esgaron said. He caught Maglor's lips with his, tenderly running fingers through his dark hair.

Maglor leaned into the fingers in his hair with a low, contented hum. "Only so much as you spoil me, Esgaron," he said.

Esgaron toyed with Maglor's hair, gently caressing his cheek, tracing Maglor's lips with a fingertip in loving fascination. The moonlight had caught in his fair hair, and a soft breeze ruffled it, making it shimmer like silver. His eyes had brightened to an equally soft silvery glow. "My beautiful Cano..." he murmured, "I want you so much."

Maglor kissed the finger as it brushed his lips and he reached to tangle his own fingers in Esgaron's hair.

" _Spun like fine gold_  
Or silver true  
I see love's light  
Reflected in you."

The song faded into a low hum. "Whatever you want, love," Maglor said.

"...you tempt me too much, _mell nín_. I would make you mine, given the chance..." Esgaron said.

Maglor laughed and conceded, "Well, perhaps not that far, although beyond the fact that your mother would be _very upset_ with me, I confess to not minding the thought at all."

"I would hope not, considering it will happen one day," Esgaron said. He stroked Maglor's cheek, repeating very softly, "...one day..." He leaned in to kiss Maglor tenderly, his lips full of want.

"One day soon," Maglor murmured in soft agreement, kissing him back with slowly increasing heat.

Esgaron met Maglor's heat with his own, his skin warming under his lover's touch, becoming sensitive. A light breeze made him shiver against Maglor, but not because of the chill. Maglor wound his fingers in golden hair with one hand and with the other traced delicate swirls down Esgaron's throat as he kissed him. Esgaron's pulse fluttered under Maglor's fingers and he made little, wanting noises.

"...please, Cano..." Esgaron whimpered.

Maglor pulled away a little with gentle nips to ask, "How do you want it, Esgaron? What do you want, my lovely golden king?"

"I want..." Esgaron toyed with a lock of Maglor's hair, tugging it affectionately. "I want you to make me feel like I'm not broken. That you will not break me, even if you try," he decided, "I know I told you gently before... Moments ago, I know, but..." He pulled the lock in his hand, just enough to make it sting a little. "I changed my mind. Make it hurt. Just a little."

Maglor paused, fingers curled in his lover's hair. "You are certain, my love?" he asked. He tugged, just a shade too hard to be nice. "I do not want to do you harm - mind that you stop me if you feel I push too far."

Esgaron hissed a little at the pull. "Yes. I am sure. Just a little," he said, and he kissed Maglor, nipping at his lips.

"Alright." Maglor nipped back, a little harder, a bit more aggressive, a bit more demanding. The hand tracing delicate patterns went to shove, pushing Esgaron back demandingly.

Esgaron met that aggression, teeth snagging on Maglor's lip, biting almost enough to bruise. He let himself be pushed back, eyes bright with silver light. "What are you going to do, Cano?" His voice had gone low and velvety, that tone he knew made Maglor shiver in pleasure. The question was partly genuine curiosity, but also a tease, a taunt, meant to rile.

Maglor straddled him and looked down with eyes equally bright and he smirked at him. "I do not think I am supposed to tell you, no?" he teased. Idly, he traced a finger down, nail just pressing in - almost absent-mindedly, except he managed to hit almost all of Esgaron's favourite spots as he went down from his neck to his navel. "I rather think... you should just be quiet, for a little while." Maglor leaned back in then to kiss him, aggressively demanding, stealing his breath.

"Ah!" Esgaron's cry was cut off by the kiss, and he was fierce in kissing back, lips crushing against teeth. But the silver fire burned ever brighter, egging Maglor on.

Maglor kissed him and his hands scratched down as he did, nipping into the kiss and scratching lightly and then heavily against Esgaron's favourite spots. Esgaron moaned and squirmed under the attention, definitely aroused. He retaliated by tugging on Maglor's hair just a little more sharply than necessary to be affectionate. Maglor smiled, pleased at the way Esgaron reacted, hissing at the tugging. He nipped at Esgaron, teasing and then traced his teeth down Esgaron's neck until he bit down at the junction of his neck and shoulder. Esgaron cried out sharply in pain, pleasure and lust as Maglor's teeth sank into the soft skin there. He pulled on Maglor's hair, exposing his ear, and Esgaron caught the tip between his teeth. Meanwhile, he arched up off the blanket, pressing his body against his lover's. Maglor whined at the teeth on his ear and shuddered, arching against Esgaron in turn.

"Ah, my beautiful one, how you make me want you," Maglor panted lowly and then pressed Esgaron back again, nipping and kissing and scratching his way down his torso, teasingly lingering over spots he favored.

Esgaron groaned and gasped at the attention, full of silver fire, a hot knot tightening in his belly. He let Maglor push him down, but he still grabbed and clutched and pressed. "Cano..." His voice rasped in a broken plea. "I'm yours. You can have me. I need you, please. Hands, mouth, body, anything you want, _please_..."

Maglor shuddered at the need in his lover's voice. "How could I ever refuse you, Esgaron?" Maglor said. Slowly, teasingly, he kissed downward, scratching lightly until he settled between Esgaron's legs and could take him in his mouth.

"A-ah..." Esgaron shivered and moaned as he was taken into the wet heat of Maglor's mouth. It took effort not to buck his hips instinctively. He tangled his hands in his lover's hair, pulling just a little. "Ai... _Cano_... Love... M-more... I want you... I want you... in me..." Maglor said nothing and teased instead, using his tongue to carefully lick, humming tauntingly, holding Esgaron down. Esgaron whimpered, squirming as Maglor held him down. He shivered with every stroke of his lover's tongue. "Cano..." Still, Maglor teased slowly, drawing back every time Esgaron begged for more. Esgaron's breathing was tight and shallow, and he was flushed and leaking profusely. He clutched at Maglor's hair with his good fingers. "Cano..." he all but panted... and then gave Maglor a wicked smile. "...do you like that, Cano? Having me in your mouth? Will I be having you on your knees for me when we get home, eager to suck? And to think you will be all the warmer and tighter when I wed you..."

Maglor crooked an eyebrow back at him and hummed, cheerfully, before pulling back entirely and propping himself up on his elbows to smirk at Esgaron. "With you making such pretty noises, my golden king, why do you doubt?" he asked.

"Whoever said I doubted?" Esgaron smirked back.

From where he was propped, Maglor traced a teasing finger along Esgaron's hip bone, but made no move to go back to what he was doing earlier. "I do not know, it certainly sounded like you might be...."

"Not doubting you, Cano. Doesn't it make a pretty picture for you down the line?" Esgaron purred.

"The very prettiest," Maglor agreed, his wandering hand slowly tracing up and down Esgaron's thigh.

Esgaron whined and squirmed. "Cano... You will drive me to madness! Please..." he begged.

"But love, I thought you wanted me to tease?" Maglor blinked innocently at him and swapped sides, trailing teasingly along his thigh but never quite going where Esgaron wanted him.

"Ai...." Esgaron keened in frustration and want, plaintive and lusty. "I _told_ you to roughen it up. I said nothing about teasing!"

"Well, _actually_ ," Maglor drawled, "I believe your exact words were... hm, ah yes, "Make it hurt, just a little"." He mimicked Esgaron's voice from earlier, and then leaned forward to kiss him, breathing the words in Esgaron's ear, as his hand dips down to trace ever so lightly down Esgaron's length, "I think I am fulfilling that wish, yes?"

Esgaron bucked his hips into that touch. " _Cano_... Cano, _please_... Or I swear it, I will show you no mercy next time. I will undo you without a single touch..."

"But I thought you wanted it to hurt, love?" Maglor kept teasing, teasing, nails just lightly scratching.

Esgaron hissed through his teeth, wanting to move more, but judging from the sharpness of his gasps, that hurt just a little _too_ much. "...Cano..."

Maglor laughed softly but yielded, slicking his fingers to gently push one in for Esgaron as he brought his other hand to stroke. "All right, love, all right. There now, is that more like what you wanted?" he asked. Esgaron groaned, coming so close, but he bit his lips, holding himself back. He nodded at Maglor, though. "No need to restrain yourself for me," Maglor hummed fondly, carefully sliding in a second finger, "Let me hear you sing, beloved."

Esgaron cried out, pressing against Maglor's hands. "Cano... I... I'm close..."

"Then don't hold back." Maglor smiled to see the way Esgaron looked, wracked with desire, and timed his strokes with careful thrusting of his fingers as he carefully, carefully added a third. "Come undone for me, love?"

Esgaron shuddered and moaned, pressing hard into Maglor's touches, and spilled. He lay back again, breathing hard. "Mmm. Thank you, _meleth_..." he murmured.

Maglor bent forward to kiss him gently before pulling back to get the cloth to clean up. "Such a pretty song you sing for me, beloved," Maglor cooed, "You are welcome."

"I love you." Esgaron held still while Maglor cleaned him up. "I think I am... quite spent..."

"Well, that was rather the plan," Maglor chuckled fondly, coming to lie with him, "But there, rest a while, Esgaron. I am not going anywhere."

Esgaron cuddled up to Maglor, tucking his head into its usual spot under Maglor's chin. "Good." He tugged the blankets over them again, and settled down. "Such beautiful stars tonight..." he observed. But, he was already getting sleepy, starting to nod off in Maglor's arms.

Maglor wrapped his arms around him and started carding lovingly through Esgaron's hair. "They are," he agreed, "How they sing, beloved! But rest, love."

Esgaron brushed a kiss over Maglor's cheek, but then, with a long deep sigh, he fell soundly asleep. Maglor curled around him and dropped into reverie, listening to the high clear voices of the stars.


	20. One Step Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sunshine, wedding clothes, a good prognosis and moving toward the next step...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. There are a few bits of sexytimes, and some fairly chaste PDA, but otherwise, nothing they haven't done before.  
> 2\. Maglor needs to learn to think before he speaks, though.

Clearly, Maglor had Esgaron completely worn out, because he didn't even _move_ until well after daybreak. When morning came, Maglor roused, but only so far as to adjust his position a little. And after a while, the warm sun on his face and hair roused Esgaron as well. 

"Mmm. Did you have a good night, Cano?" he asked, and reached for his morning kiss.

"Good morning, love." Maglor looked down when Esgaron finally stirred and bent to kiss him gently. "Ai, but you have slept nearly the whole morning away! Are you feeling well?"

Esgaron gave Maglor an innocent look. "You wore me out, Cano." And his stomach growled, as if in agreement. "And worked up an appetite, it seems. What do we still have left?"

"So it seems." Maglor shook his head fondly. "Plenty - although I imagine they will be looking for us soon."

"I suppose that means you want me dressed again," Esgaron sighed, "Hmm, but perhaps breakfast first? Are you hungry, Cano?"

"At some point, yes!" Maglor chuckled, "Mm, but I could use breakfast also."

"I take it for now you like watching me this way, clothed only in sunlight?" Esgaron was teasing, but quickly moving toward the food. "Hmm. What can I tempt you with this morning, Cano?"

"It is rather a fetching look!" Maglor smiled and ran a gentle finger down Esgaron's cheek. "Mm, have we any bread and jam left? Fruit too."

Esgaron pawed through the remaining leftovers. "Some, looks like," he said, "And the cream, yet. Some meats, too..."

"Hm, I do not know how well that cream has kept, seeing as we have been out here a full day and night, by now! But some of the cold meats will make a nice sandwich, I think," Maglor said, "Is there enough for you, love?"

"I think so. And the cream doesn't look too bad, really..." Esgaron mused. He was already collecting a small pile for his breakfast.

"If you say so, love. Pass me the cheese?" Maglor asked.

"Of course." Esgaron handed it over, and meanwhile essentially decimated the rest of the basket.

Maglor smiled in thanks and set about making himself a sandwich, watching in amusement at Esgaron's valiant destruction of the basket. "Hm, I hope that your appetite is a good sign!" he laughed.

"Did they not tell us it was a sign of healing? I am sure my hunger will abate when I am better," Esgaron said between mouthfuls, "Do you have enough?"

"They did, but you know me, love. I worry," Maglor said, and he stole a quick kiss, "I do, Esgaron - I worry more for you!"

"You need not worry so, my Cano." Esgaron stole back a kiss of his own. "I am doing as well as I can for now."

"I think it is all but impossible for me to not worry, love," Maglor countered, though he was quite happy to steal kisses in between bites. "But it brings me joy to see you shine so bright."

Esgaron soon polished off his share. "Remind me to thank the kitchens for such generosity," he said, "Shall we enjoy the sun for a little while longer?"

Maglor ate less, but he finished not long after Esgaron. "Hm, I think I would not mind! At least until they come looking, or you get hungry again, my love!"

Esgaron moved closer to give Maglor a light kiss and a nuzzle. "What would you like to do?" he asked.

Maglor turned into the kiss fondly, meeting Esgaron's lips with his own. "Whatever you like, love. I am feeling very lazy, this day," he said.

"And if I said I liked just being with you, _mell nín?_ " Esgaron pressed as he nuzzled Maglor's ear.

Maglor squeaked a little at that with a soft laugh, and leaned against Esgaron fondly. "Then I would have to say you are being very obliging to my lazy mood," he admitted.

Esgaron cuddled up with Maglor. "Would that be a bad thing?" he asked.

Maglor wrapped his arms around Esgaron fondly. "Absolutely not," he declared, "Rather the perfect sort of morning, I would think!"

"You did enjoy such lazy mornings during the winter... Us curled up in our bed together, talking or daydreaming, or playing a little..." Esgaron murmured, delicately nuzzling along Maglor's jaw.

"My favourite memories," Maglor agreed, jaw tipping up automatically as he sighed in soft approval at Esgaron's gentle movements, "Nothing quite like a little peace and quiet with my treasure." He sighed happily, drinking in the warm sunlight and the babble of the nearby brook and the chirping of the songbirds in the restful valley.

"Your treasure is here for you now." Esgaron lightly kissed Maglor, running fingers through dark hair.

"I know." Maglor's lips were equally tender against Esgaron's. "You make every day a joy."

" _Every_ day?" Esgaron arched a golden eyebrow. "Even the ones where I am cross?"

"Even then." Maglor grinned at him and teased, "Did you know you have a very cute furrow between your eyes when you are cross?"

Esgaron raised the other eyebrow. "Do I, now? Is that part of the scowl my sister accuses me of having?"

"Perhaps!" Maglor laughed softly and then admitted, "I would not like to see you in a true fury, Esgaron. You still remind me far too much of my uncle to be comfortable with that. But it is a very cute furrow."

"Ah, Cano. What reason would I have to be so furious with you, my love? I would never want to hurt you like that," Esgaron said. But his lips still pursed in thought. "...I admit, I do not think anyone has called me "cute" in centuries... I could be wrong, though."

"I would hope not!" Maglor leaned in and kissed him. "But in general, I think. I prefer you happy, my love, although I love you just as well any other way." He chuckled at the expression on Esgaron's face. "Well, then I will be the first!"

"Truly though. _"Cute?"_ "

"Yes." Maglor laughed again and kissed the furrow that formed right between Esgaron's brows. "Right there, like that."

" _Cano..._ " Esgaron mock-pouted, pushing out his lower lip.

Maglor could not resist kissing that plump pout in answer. Esgaron yielded into the kiss, sliding his good arm around Maglor. Maglor hummed against Esgaron's lips in answer, pleased, one hand coming up to tangle in his bright hair. Esgaron's lips parted easily, tongue darting out as he deepened the kiss, pulling his beloved close. Maglor sighed happily, welcoming the new depths of the kiss, melting against Esgaron fondly, his spare hand smoothing across Esgaron's chest. Esgaron nipped gently at Maglor's lips.

"Mmm. Seducing me again, sweet Cano?" Esgaron moved to kiss Maglor's ear and neck as he spoke, lips brushing feather-lightly against the tender skin there.

Maglor laughed helplessly, eyes bright. "I think you began this, my love!" he said.

"Me?" Esgaron's attempt at an innocent expression was marred by the brightness of his eyes and the tousled tumble of his hair. "You kissed me first this time."

"And who was it who deepened this kiss, my sweet?" Maglor pointed out.

"Can I help it that you are so deliciously inviting, _mell nín?_ " Esgaron asked. He traced fingers lightly over Maglor's chest.

Maglor shivered under his fingers but his voice stayed level. "Oh? I did not think I was being particularly inviting?" he cooed.

"You were kissing me, your hands in my hair. Is that not invitation enough, love?" Esgaron asked.

"I suppose it is." Maglor smiled and kissed him again. "But," he breathed in Esgaron's ear before he kissed it, "I would still argue that you started it, my lovely golden king."

"Perhaps I did. Do you intend to finish it, my raven?" Esgaron fixed him with a glittering gaze.

"Hmm, do you want to, beloved?" Maglor asked.

"I just want _you,_ love," Esgaron said, "At your side, in your arms, coming undone under your hands... As long as I am with you, I am happy."

Maglor ran a loving hand down Esgaron's cheek and pulled him close to kiss him soundly. Esgaron let his lips linger against Maglor's. "Ah, my love," Maglor sighed happily, "There is no thanks great enough for you loving me."

"...what if you let actions speak louder than words?" Esgaron suggested.

Maglor laughed softly and nipped lightly, letting his hands go wandering. "Oh? Does my king have anything in particular in mind?" he purred.

Esgaron arched wantonly into Maglor's touch, at least as much as his injuries permitted. "Whatever you feel best expresses your gratitude, sweet raven."

"My pretty one," Maglor murmured softly, hands teasing across Esgaron's warm skin, "How you tempt me."

Esgaron stroked Maglor's hair, lazily running his fingers through it. "And you are all but intoxicating, my lovely."

Maglor leaned into the hand briefly before leaning forward to nuzzle against Esgaron's neck. "I am so glad that you find me so, or I would be terribly jealous," he said, lips moving against the soft skin there.

Esgaron moved so Maglor could more easily get at his neck. "Jealous of what?" he asked. "I love you. I have loved no other save Nimrodel, and she is long gone."

Maglor continued nuzzling, leaving a trail of small kisses behind. "I know, Esgaron. But I suppose... I am so used to beloved ones going away that I am jealous of any who might catch your attention."

Esgaron caught Maglor's hand and kissed the white ring. "I wear your ring, Cano, and long for one of gold. I have nowhere to stray. I belong to you. All that remains is for you to make me yours," he promised.

Maglor turned his hand to cup Esgaron's cheek. "I know. I am just being foolish," he said.

Taking advantage of the moment, Esgaron leaned in to kiss Maglor with all the reassurance he could muster. "How might I ease your heart, my love?" he asked, "I offer myself to you, _hroa_ and _fëa_ , if you wish."

Maglor kissed back fondly. "Just stay with me, my love. I am just a fussy old _ellon_ who really should know better." he said.

"I will not leave you, _Meleth._ I want you so much. My very blood quickens for you. Look in my eyes and see that I am yours completely." Esgaron stroked Maglor's cheeks, his hair, running his hand along his shoulder. He held his breath to see if Maglor would dare look him in the eyes, see love blazing there, and want, and the beginnings of the bond their marriage would seal. Maglor did, indeed, look and shuddered to see the love blazing in his lover's eyes and kissed him helplessly.

"I know, beloved, I know. I am so, so happy you love me in turn," Maglor said.

Esgaron met Maglor's kiss eagerly. "I think you liked what you saw..." he said, lips curling into a smile.

Each kiss led to another, Maglor's heated and needy. "Very much so, beloved," he said.

Esgaron responded to that heat and need, kissing him fervently. "...hold me, Cano..." he gasped.

"My beloved." Maglor wrapped his arms around him, and could not resist the urge to run fingers through golden hair as he kissed him. "Oh Esgaron, my love."

Esgaron wrapped himself around Maglor as best he could with his injuries, but he was pliant and eager under Maglor's touch. "I am here, love. What will you do with me?" His eyes were bright with anticipation, breath heavy with the same.

Maglor buried his face in golden hair and his whole body shook, his voice breathless with longing, "Ah, my love, how you test my control. Not now, beloved, or I might forget that we are waiting 'til we can be wed."

Esgaron kissed Maglor's hair. " _Your_ idea, Cano," he reminded him, "Ah, but as much as I want you, I would not rob you of your wishes..."

Maglor huffed in amusement against Esgaron's hair and lifted his head to kiss his cheek gently. "I know. I want everything to be perfect, love. Also, for your parents to _not_ kill me on sight. I am sorry to make you wait."

"Hmm." Esgaron cuddled up closer in Maglor's arms. "What would make it perfect for you?"

Maglor shifted his arms to support him and willed his heart to calm down. "Hm... you, haloed in the sun," he said thoughtfully, "And your parents' approval, if at all possible, although I will settle for not dying!"

"Haloed in sun? As I am now?" Esgaron asked. He shook back his hair so it caught the light. He smiled, but his eyes glittered dangerously. "Do you truly think I would allow them to kill you, Cano?"

Maglor's breath hitched at the sight, feeling a surprising thrill at the hint of menace, and his own eyes looked on warmly. "Even so, Esgaron." Maglor shook his head with a wry smile. "I know you would not, love. But there are plenty of ways to punish a person, and your mother is _exquisitely_ good at making people squirm."

"I will protect you, love," Esgaron said and he kissed Maglor's cheek.

"I know." Maglor nuzzled him in return. "I am being foolish."

"I am here for you. Simply tell me what you wish, what would set you at ease, and you shall have it," Esgaron said.

A content sigh escaped his lips and Maglor curled around him. "Nothing more than that you stay with me. I am content," he said. Esgaron stroked Maglor's hair and kissed him tenderly. Maglor met those kisses, slow and sweet. "You are far too good to me, my love," Maglor said, "But there, we have dallied so long they must wonder if we plan to stay outside all day today as well! It will be lunch soon, my sweet, and the basket is empty."

"Hmm, I suppose you are right... Help me dress?" Esgaron said, slipping out of Maglor's embrace. He started reaching for his clothes.

Maglor nodded and moved over to help Esgaron with buttons and laces, and then dud his hair for him, running fingers gently to undo the obvious knots. "There now," he said, looking on with approval, "I think I had still best carry you back, however - I do not wish to undo all that lovely relaxing."

"Can you manage me, and the blankets and the basket all?" Esgaron asked.

"Mmm, I suppose we shall have to see! Fortunately it is lighter since we emptied it!" Maglor said.

Esgaron helped bundle things up, folding the blankets and tucking them into the empty basket, hopefully making it easier to carry. "Carefully now, my Cano."

Maglor hummed and carefully reached to lift Esgaron into his arms. "At least we do not have far to go," he remarked.

Esgaron let Maglor pick him up, wrapping his good arm securely around Maglor's neck, and holding on as best he could with the broken one. "No, that is true. This is hardly dignified for a former king, though," he said.

Maglor wobbled a little hefting Esgaron's weight, but managed to get his balance. "Well, it cannot be helped, my love, although I think we will have to leave the basket for later," he said.

"...let me hold the basket then," Esgaron offered, "Or would it be too heavy?"

"That... might work," Maglor said, "Here - I will let you down and you can get the basket - I just cannot balance well enough to bend and grab it myself without dropping you, I think."

"That is your fault for trying to carry someone almost as big as you," Esgaron said airily. He looped an arm through the basket handles and, looking terribly resigned, waited for Maglor to pick him up again.

"Probably," Maglor agreed wryly, "It could be worse - you could always be taller than me." Carefully he went to lift Esgaron again, and again nearly overbalanced before standing and starting his way back up to the house. "You will have to navigate for me, love. And I think the stairs you will have to do yourself."

"No one is making you carry me, Cano." Still, Esgaron held tightly, directing Maglor along the winding garden paths, right up until they arrived at the foot of the staircase. "Ah, stairs, love. Can you manage, or shall I walk?"

"I like carrying you, love! I just have never had to do it for any great stretch," Maglor said as he set Esgaron down carefully. "The stairs you will have to manage, love - but if you need to rest, just let me know."

"You _like_ to carry me?" Fond incredulousness flooded Esgaron's tone. "I think I will be all right. But your turn to carry the basket for now."

"I like the feel of you in my arms," Maglor sniffed back at him, "Even when you're heavy!" He took the basket and helped Esgaron up the stairs, slowly.

"This is why you usually have me in your arms when we are in bed, my dearest," Esgaron said. He was not very fast at it, but he managed to navigate the stairs, though he started getting a little breathless as they near the top.

"Mmhmm," Maglor laughs at him fondly, his arm out, ready to assist Esgaron.

He leaned on Maglor some once they got to the top of the stairs. "Ahhh, a moment, please. My breath comes rough..." Esgaron panted.

Maglor stopped obligingly at the top, sliding his arm around Esgaron. "Here love, lean on me. No rush."

Esgaron leaned into Maglor readily. "And see? In your arms again." He laughed softly as he caught his breath. "There, better. Come, let us return the basket and see if we have been missed."

Maglor dropped a kiss against golden hair fondly. "My favourite place for you to be," he agreed. "Will you be alright to walk the rest of the way, love?"

"I think I will manage, Cano," Esgaron said, and he stole a quick kiss, "Unless you truly wish to carry me in, of course."

"I always like carrying you," Maglor laughed, "But I think we can walk." Still, he stayed right beside him, in case Esgaron needed the support, as they wandered slowly back to the kitchens to return the basket. He did wonder to himself if they were being looked for yet.

"Something else you decided from the first day, when you carried me to the cave? And again that winter morning when we were snowed in?" Esgaron teased, an impish glitter in his eyes, "If we were at all missed, I would think it from the family. Most are not supposed to know we are here. Not officially, in any case."

"Hm, very definitely that first winter morning." Maglor wrinkled his nose back at his lover fondly.

Just then, Maglor's unspoken question was answered by Celebrían's sudden appearance. " _There_ you two are! I was looking for you, and found you just in time," she said, the words tumbling out in a rush as she hurried up to them, "Come with me. The tailors are waiting for you."

"Milady!" Maglor startled when Celebrían found them and he nodded owlishly. "Ah, of course?"

She chuckled gently and explained, "They want to fit you both for the wedding garments you asked for. They have them mostly ready based on the descriptions we gave of you two, but they want to make sure everything will fit properly."

Esgaron blinked as well. "Oh, of course. Lead the way. Will he and I be together for this, or in separate rooms?" he asked.

_Oh right,_ Maglor chided himself; he had almost forgotten about that entirely. "Yes, forgive me, I had not thought they would be ready so soon!" he said.

"Oh, they are quite a way from being finished. No embellishments yet or anything, just the very basic garments," Celebrían said with a dismissive wave, "And we would have you together. Unless you fear ruining the surprise too much?"

Esgaron laughed a little and squeezed Maglor's hand lightly. "I think we will be all right together. We know each other well, and as you said, they are far from done," he said.

"Even so," Maglor agreed fondly, "I would be eager to see what they have come up with."

The basket and blankets left in a corner for the staff to pick up and take care of, Celebrían led them to where a small team of tailors were waiting, and on a pair of wicker forms were two sets of garments, one in snowy white and one in a forest green. They were not identical, the cuts different for each. The green had a more old-fashioned look to it, and the white had more delicate fabric and flowing lines that might look feminine were it intended for anyone else.

"All right, this should not take terribly long. Do either of you need help?" Celebrían asked.

"...I may, some. I am still healing, after all..." Esgaron admitted. He was already fumbling with the fastenings on his clothes.

"Let me help, love," Maglor offered. He stepped over to help him with the fastenings, and smiled back at Celebrían. "Thank you, but I think we will be alright. Hopefully they will not need to make many alterations!"

"Ah, I would help my brother, but I supposed to are accustomed to the task." Was she teasing? Of course she was. "I will go ahead and step out. I would hate to discomfit your sense of modesty, Maglor. You will both be in good hands," Celebrían said with a smile

"Accustomed enough." Maglor flushed shyly but he answered back smartly, "And I mind not if you go or stay, Celebrían."

Esgaron just shook his head. "Thank you, Cano. It looks as if she has made a good estimate of our sizes," he observed.

"It does, I think," Maglor agreed. It was slightly awkward working around his injuries, and minding the placement of pins, but once Maglor had him in the white robes, even unfinished as they were, Esgaron was the very image of his grandfather, and of the king he once was. Maglor stepped back once he was done to look admiringly at Esgaron. "Ah, my love. I knew white would suit," he said.

"Do you think it will do, Cano?" Esgaron examined how it lay on him while the tailors swooped in to perfect the fit and mark where some of the embellishments would go.

"Very much so." Maglor's eyes were very bright and fond. "You look every inch the king."

"A king! Oh, Cano, I simply hoped to look nice for the wedding. I am hardly a king any longer," Esgaron said, "Now, it is your turn! I wish to see you in the green."

"You look it, though," Maglor retorted affectionately and with a shy smile and he nodded, backing away to get dressed. The older style was familiar, comforting - he knew that Elrond probably had a hand in this, remembering the clothes his foster fathers used to wear. He slipped into it easily, blinking shyly at Esgaron after. "Does it fit?" he asked.

Esgaron looked Maglor over appraisingly. "I think the color suits you. The fit is all right..." he said thoughtfully, "Though I think it would look even better in a trimmer silhouette." His eyes glittered as he gave his assessment.

Maglor obediently stayed still for the tailors to have a go at him. "Do you think so?" he asked. "I will yield to your thoughts in this, love, as I truly do not know."

"Mmm, yes. To not hide the lines of your body as much. You are very beautiful, my Cano," Esgaron said, a smile curling on his lips.

Maglor flushed shyly and fiddled with his sleeves, prompting the tailor to smack his hands down scoldingly. "Oh. I... um. Yes. Um," he stammered.

Esgaron laughed, eyes bright with affection. "But that is only my opinion!" he added.

Maglor was still blushing furiously. "It is nice to know you think that," he said, more to himself than to Esgaron directly.

"You cannot be surprised, Cano, seeing as these are our wedding garments being fitted to us," Esgaron said, patiently enduring the fussing of the tailors around him.

"Not... surprised, as such, but... it is... still strange to hear," Maglor admitted shyly.

"Then I shall endeavor to ensure you hear it every day, my love." Esgaron flashed him a bright smile.

Maglor fidgeted shyly, earning another scolding smack from the tailors as they obligingly pinned it closer. "You do not have to, but thank you, Esgaron."

"I _want_ to." Esgaron shook his head back regally, allowing the tailors to finish their sizing work on him--Celebrían clearly knew her brother very well. The fabric of his robes was lighter than that of Maglor's, the drape almost clinging to him when he shifted. But he looked on approvingly as the tailors worked on Maglor. "Oh, yes. That is already looking better," he said, nodding in approval.

"If you like it, love, we will keep it this way," Maglor said. The tailors were obviously pleased and, once satisfied, took a moment to go through the embroidery and embellishments with them. Maglor mostly agreed with the assorted suggestions but he did have one request: "If... it is at all possible... could you... put my father's star on the doublet?"

There was an uneasy murmur among the tailors, but they agreed cautiously. Esgaron, meanwhile, very suddenly fell into that too-familiar stone-faced frustration when he absolutely could not fill a blank spot in his memory. Finally, he spoke, his voice low, "...did Arafinwë have such a symbol?"

Maglor thanked them softly, but with great sincerity - he did not often bear his family's mark - but just this once, for his wedding day... He blinked at Esgaron's question, though, and nodded. "Aye, he did - very similar to ours, for they were brothers, after all. Did... you wish to wear his mark?" Maglor asked.

After a brief hesitation, Esgaron nodded shyly. "He is my grandfather, after all. I think he would want to be there in some small way," he said.

"Then we shall. It will doubtless make your mother pleased as well." Maglor smiled at Esgaron before turning to the tailors and asked if any of them knew Arafinwë's mark - it wasn't as if most of his children wore his mark, unlike the Nolofinwëans and Fëanorians. 

There was a brief flurry of discussion, but soon became apparent that none of the staff present knew the Arafinwëan mark. Esgaron looked slightly disappointed, but looked to Maglor. "You know it well, I hope, love?" he asked.

"I do." Maglor nodded, and once he had permission to move, he stepped gingerly over to the table and sketched out the design for them.

Esgaron came up behind, watched over Maglor's shoulder and nodded approvingly. "Ah. Yes, please, if that could be added to mine, I think it would suit. Do you agree, Cano?" he asked.

The tailors nodded, discussing it amongst themselves, and Maglor smiled back at Esgaron, reaching to thread their fingers together. "Yes," he said, "The colors will match you well, too, and you will make Galadriel so happy."

Esgaron lightly squeezed Maglor's hand, and loosely wrapped a lock of his hair around their fingers. "If you are pleased, that is enough to make me happy," he said. He kissed Maglor tenderly. A few of the tailors tittered a little at the display, but Esgaron paid them no mind.

"I am." Maglor kissed him back gently, also ignoring the giggles around them. "It is good to see Uncle's mark again."

"Then I shall wear it with pride, and hope Elbereth sends us a smile from him by the light of the stars." The smile Esgaron gave Maglor suddenly took his breath away.

"As long as he does not decide to show up and punch me for daring to capture so lovely a prize, I will count myself content," Maglor suggested jokingly, "But the Arafinwë I remember would have been happy for you."

"I am sure your mother would also be happy for you," Esgaron said with a demure glance.

"I hope so," Maglor agreed.

Esgaron looked to the tailors. "Will there be anything else you need from us today?" he asked. The staff checked a few last measurements, made a few more notes, and then said that was all they needed to finish the work. "Cano, would you help me with my clothes?" he asked.

Maglor waited patiently until the tailors were done, but was obviously glad to be able to change. "Of course, love," he said, coming over to him, even as he shed the formal robes.

Esgaron snuck a kiss to Maglor's bare shoulder as he changed, a simple, tender gesture, but more sensual than it might have looked. He was glad for Maglor's help in navigating his bandaged and splinted limbs as he traded the wedding robes for the simple ensemble that had been provided in their room. "Thank you all. I look forward to seeing the finished garments," he told the tailors before turning his attention back to Maglor, "What shall we do now, Cano? Do you wish to return to our quarters?"

Maglor smiled fondly at Esgaron when felt the brush of lips against his skin, although he did not return the kiss at that moment, hands gentle as they helped Esgaron with his clothing. "Aye, my thanks." He tipped his head in a small bow as the tailors left, drawing Esgaron close against his side as they did. "Mm, how are your injuries, love? Do you need to rest, or are you more inclined to wander?" he asked.

"Hmm." Esgaron tested his healing limbs. "A slight ache, but not unbearable," he said, "But, after a day and a half outside as we were... A warm bath and fresh clothes would not be amiss. Though I hope I am not growing spoiled here with such things."

"Then a warm bath and fresh clothes you shall have!" Maglor held him close for a moment to press a kiss to his cheek before moving in the direction of their room. "And I do not think you could ever grow spoilt, love. Besides, I think I know you well enough to know that if you truly miss it, you will find a way to build it!"

"We do have a bath at home, yes, but our wardrobes are small. And a bed of furs is quite different from mattresses and sheets. It may be possible to spoil me," Esgaron said. Then, he gave Maglor a light, playful push. "And what was that earlier about my grandfather coming to punch you for, how did you put it, daring to catch so lovely a prize? Truly?" His eyes glittered with laughter.

"We can always ask to take some of the sheets home," Maglor pointed out teasingly and laughed softly, "Well, he might, I suppose! Although Uncle Arafinwë was generally a fairly peaceable sort, so maybe not. And..." He leaned over to kiss Esgaron teasingly. "You truly _are_ lovely, Esgaron."

"And fairer still in white, hmm?" Esgaron stole a lingering kiss of his own. "But you, my Cano... If only you could have seen yourself in your robes... You are difficult to resist."

"Very much so," Maglor agreed fondly. "And as I cannot see myself, love, I will have to take your word for it."

"Well. 'Capture' me you most certainly did." Esgaron lovingly stroked Maglor's cheek.

"Mm, as I myself was surely captured, eh?" Maglor turned to kiss the palm against his cheek fondly.

"I did nothing of the sort." Esgaron's tone was airy. "All right. Perhaps a little." He laughed and kissed Maglor playfully.

Maglor joined in with soft laughter of his own in answer and kissed Esgaron's nose teasingly. "Perhaps a lot, my golden one!"

"Ew, uncles! Not in public!" Elladan laughingly informed them from where he was waiting down the corridor, "But if you're up to it, Uncle A. - _Ada_ says he'd like to take a look at how you're healing."

Esgaron regarded Elladan mildly, a gleam in his eyes. "Cano, are we sure this is my dear nephew? I can scarcely believe my own blood could not take the sight of a few kisses," he said, "Ah, but if Elrond wishes to see me, I suppose I must. Where does he wish me to go?"

"Things I am happy to not watch: my older relatives being sappy at each other," Elladan laughed back, "And _Ada_ is in the healing rooms right now, or he says he can come to you, if you prefer?"

"Unusually squirmish there, nephew," Maglor agreed with a laugh, "Which would you prefer, love?"

"...Probably in our quarters would be best. We were about to head there to clean up as it is," Esgaron said and turned back to Maglor. "Cano is so very sweet to me, offering to help." He laid an overly showy kiss on Maglor, just to tease his nephew.

"Everything you need, my beloved one," Maglor cooed with exaggerated flair, batting his eyes at Esgaron with a leer just to watch Elladan squirm.

"Much ew!" Elladan laughed at them both, making warding gestures teasingly at them. "Alright then, I'll go tell _Ada_ and the two of you can take that copious amount of lovey dovey stuff elsewhere."

"Very good - we will see Elrond in perhaps an hour or so?" Maglor suggested.

"That should work," Esgaron said with a nod. "Enough time to clean up first, do you not agree?" He purred the question, nuzzling lightly at Maglor's neck.

"I can tell when I'm not wanted!" Elladan laughed again and waved goodbye. "I'll go and tell _Ada_ then. See you later, uncles!"

"Until then, dear nephew," Esgaron laughed and wrapped his good arm around Maglor. "Shall we, love?"

"Coward!" Maglor called after Elladan, and snuggled Esgaron fondly. "Mm, I think we should."

Wrapped around his beloved, Esgaron headed back to their room. "Ah, lovely and quiet and just the two of us..." he sighed, "What do you think, Cano? A full bath for two? Or just to sponge me off?"

"Mm, what do you feel like, love?" Maglor asked. "I know it can be hard for you to face a full bath. Either way, I tend to enjoy myself." He dropped a fond kiss on Esgaron's cheek.

"It is easier with you. I suppose... Do _you_ feel a need to clean up much, love? If so, a shared bath could take care of us both at once," Esgaron mused.

"Mm, I think I would not mind a wash myself - and I do like sharing the bath with you, love," Maglor said. 

"Then a bath we shall share." Esgaron kissed Maglor's cheek softly as well. "I know you will keep me safe and calm," he said, "Anything you would like me to help with, such as I am able to do?"

"Mm, I will need help with my hair again, love. Anything else will be a bonus, hm?" Maglor said.

"I think I can manage washing it, but braids would be very messy indeed, I fear, Cano," Esgaron admitted, "But I always enjoy how you wash me." There was a bit of a gleam in his eyes.

"Mm, as do I." Maglor smiled back knowingly. "As I said. A nice extra."

"How I love you..." Esgaron murmured and he kissed Maglor soundly. "I suppose we should be quick about it, then, lest Elrond have cause to react like his son." He started moving to get ready.

Maglor met his kiss just as soundly. "Hm, I suppose we should," he cooed. He followed Esgaron back, tugging his laces loose once they were in the washroom. "Shall I run the bath?" he offered.

"Yes, please?" Esgaron worked to undo his own laces in the meantime, though he watched Maglor with bright, burning eyes.

Maglor smiled back at him, shrugging his shirt off, making sure Esgaron could watch. "I will make sure it isn't too deep, love."

"Thank you. Stars, but you are beautiful, Cano..." It took careful effort, but Esgaron eventually managed to get out of his own clothes.

Maglor turned to kiss him as he stepped closer, still in his pants but nothing else. "And every time you say that, Esgaron, I think that you are far more so. Is the water too high, love? It should be nice and warm."

"Me being beautiful in no way lessens your own loveliness," Esgaron reminded him. He accepted Maglor's kiss eagerly, and then glanced at the water. "I think it will do, yes. And it does look lovely and warm."

"Well, we are both probably terribly biased," Maglor teased and stepped back far enough to shuck his pants before getting in first and offering a hand to Esgaron. "Slowly, love - I am here."

"Perhaps a little biased, yes." Esgaron moved very carefully, leaning on Maglor for help, easing in slowly and nestling in with his beloved. "Whatever would I do without you?"

"Probably a lot biased." Maglor kissed him fondly once they were both situated. "I do not know - but I know that I do not want to think of what I would do without you."

"You would still be wandering the shores and camping in caves, not playing nursemaid, or having a proper home, or holding your beloved in your arms..." Esgaron mused. He nuzzled tenderly and picked up the wash rag. "Where shall we start, love?" he asked.

"Hm, but I rather think I definitely prefer this alternatively." Maglor nuzzled back fondly. "Hm, shall I wash your back first, love?" he offered.

"Hard to argue with sharing a hot bath with your betrothed." Esgaron pulled his hair to the side so Maglor could get to his back. "That sounds like a good plan. Yes, please."

"It rather is," Maglor agreed and kissed Esgaron's neck fondly as he started to wash, "And I do agree that this is a rather excellent plan - I must commend you on it, Esgaron."

Esgaron made soft, contented noises as Maglor kissed his neck. "Ah, Cano... That is wonderful..." he sighed. He lightly dragged his fingers along Maglor's thigh. "Before we had our house, when was the last time you got to enjoy a warm bath?" he asked.

Maglor shivered slightly, and paid careful attention to making sure he washed Esgaron thoroughly, peppering his actions with soft kisses. "I do not remember, in truth. A long time though - we did not really have the facilities while we were at war, and after we left Amon Ereb we were essentially homeless."

"Centuries, then. Good thing I changed that." Esgaron was very much enjoying Maglor's ministrations, the soft kisses against his skin, the water running over him, the gentle touches, and the stirring he felt was becoming evident, and his own touches more deliberate. "Ai, _mell nín_.... Such gifted hands you have. You always make me want more than just a bath..."

"I am glad you did, my love," Maglor laughed softly as he worked. "Do I? I am glad that I can please you this way, Esgaron. Do you want me to continue?" One hand brushed teasingly down Esgaron's thigh.

Esgaron moaned into the touch. "...would you, Cano?"

Maglor pressed another kiss to his neck as his hand obligingly dropped down to curl around his lover's length. "As my king commands."

Esgaron moaned again, soft and wrecked, head falling back on Maglor's shoulder as his lover pleasured him. "Mmmm, Cano... Yes... Like that..." Maglor kissed Esgaron's ear fondly and stroked, varying speed and pressure until he found the one that Esgaron liked most. Esgaron panted and squirmed, and finally shuddered until he was breathless. "...sometimes I think you agree to these baths just so you can do that."

"Well, I must admit there is perhaps a _slight_ ulterior motive, as you are so beautiful like this, Esgaron," Maglor laughed softly and wiped him down, his touch a fond caress.

"I can hardly complain in that case, hmm? And think, how only you know me like this. I would not trade these moments for anything." Esgaron nuzzled affectionately. "Just my hair yet, then?"

Maglor nuzzled back with sweet, gentle movements. "Good, for neither would I. And yes. Lean forwards a little love, and I will give it a good scrub."

Esgaron stole a kiss and then obligingly leaned forward so Maglor could get to all his hair. "Will that do for you, love?" he asked.

Maglor was only too happy to kiss back before starting to lather Esgaron's hair and slowly rinse it out in sections so he didn't trigger a panic attack. "Perfect, beloved. There - how does that feel?"

Esgaron kept his head tilted back so the water didn't run into his face. "It... it feels nice, Cano. Thank you."

"Good." Maglor kissed his cheek fondly as he finished. "I want this to be pleasant for you."

"I enjoy sharing baths with you, love. They always please me," Esgaron said, "Now... Let me try and do what I can for you..." He shifted awkwardly so that he could get to Maglor. "You deserve it to be nice as well."

"As they do me." Maglor smiled at him. "I assure you, I am _quite_ enjoying myself."

"Is that so, Cano? Well. I am glad," Esgaron said. He snuck a kiss, and then gently started doing his best to wash Maglor. 

Maglor hummed contentedly under Esgaron's hands. "Most assuredly so, beloved. To hear you sing like that never ceases to bring me joy."

"The bath is optional as far as that goes," Esgaron quipped, "Seeing you pleasured, though... Color in your cheeks, eyes bright... It is a delight to me." He moved slowly, gently, lightly kissing Maglor's shoulders.

"True," Maglor allowed, "But it does provide a lovely excuse!" He shivered a little when Esgaron kissed him. "Mmn, your hands are always so gentle."

"So it does..." Esgaron agreed, "Well, and my hands are clumsy right now, but as long as they make you feel good..." He took the tip of Maglor's ear into his mouth and sucked delicately, his hands still working over his lover's body.

He is rewarded with a needy whine, Maglor arching into his hands. "Ai!" Maglor gasped, "That they do, beloved, they truly do."

"Ah, that pleases me to hear." Esgaron finished washing Maglor's body, and his hand drifted toward Maglor's thigh. "Would you have me do your hair? Or must I... scrub you elsewhere?"

Maglor shivered again, his own arousal clearly evident, and his voice stayed studiously level as much by force of will as by training. "That will depend, my love, on--mm." He bit his lip against the moan as Esgaron crept closer. "--entirely on how much scrubbing you think I need."

Esgaron took his lover in hand, still holding the cloth. " _Sing,_ sweet beauty," he rasped. He stroked tenderly, kissing Maglor's ears and neck.

" _Ai!_ " Maglor arched into Esgaron's hands and pressed into his kisses with a low moaning gasp. "Esgaron, Esgaron, love, don't tease."

Essgaron stroked him a little more vigorously, still a bit awkward with his healing fingers. "What makes you think this is teasing, Cano?" he purred.

Maglor rewarded his lover's efforts with soft sighs and moans, head falling back. "Ai, beloved, but every time... you have... such clever hands," he managed, as his voice was stolen.

Esgaron kissed Maglor solidly, stroking him firmly. "Come undone for me, my love," he whispered. Maglor shuddered silently in Esgaron's arms as he did, sagging against him afterward, panting. Esgaron wiped Maglor off and softly kissed his cheek. "I think you needed that, my raven. Now, let me try to wash your hair..." He did his best to do so, running fingers through dark strands.

"Mm." Maglor smiled at him and nuzzled back tiredly. "Quite possibly, but I am happy that you are happy." He leaned into the hands in his hair with a pleased hum, a low contented thread of sound.

"Cano." Esgaron's voice was suddenly tight with tension and worry. "Don't fall asleep. Not here."

Maglor blinked, turning a little to reach back for Esgaron. "I am alright, love," he assured, "I will try and stay awake - but I trust you."

Esgaron kissed Maglor's dark hair where it was freshly washed, holding him close. "I cannot trust myself, not in my state. Do not fall asleep here, I beg you."

Maglor smiled at him gently. "Then I will not, love. I promise. Are you almost done? We can get out and get some rest before Elrond comes," he said.

"Nearly, yes." Esgaron finished rinsing out Maglor's hair. "There we go. Clean and lovely." He kissed Maglor's hair again. "I could not bear to lose you."

"Thank you, love." Maglor tangled his fingers with Esgaron's as they got out. "I am well, love, I promise."

"I am glad for that," Esgaron said. He got dried off with a little help from Maglor, and dressed in the simple white garments left for them. "Did you wish to rest, then, _Meleth?_ " he asked.

"Perhaps for a little while - I did not expect to be tired, but you have worn me out, my love," Maglor admitted.

"Then, let us take a moment to do so," Esgaron said. He laid down on the bed invitingly. "Come here, Cano."

Maglor laughed softly and came to lay beside him, taking Esgaron in his arms and kissing him gently. "You make everything sound like an enticement, some days!" he said.

Esgaron was only too happy to curl up with Maglor, kissing back sweetly. "Only to rest this time, my sweet," Esgaron assured him.

"Well enough." Maglor smiled at him, caressing golden hair with a gentle touch. "Or we might traumatise poor Elrond!"

Esgaron affectionately stroked Maglor's cheek. "Ah, there is that beautiful smile. The one that made me fall in love with you," he said, "And I daresay Elrond has seen things far worse than people he cares about expressing their love for each other."

Maglor huffed at him in amusement, "I am sure, but I remember the trauma from the first time I stumbled across _my_ parents, and I would prefer to spare him the same!"

"Made only more awkward by the fact he sees you as a father and me as a brother?" Esgaron asked. He raised an amused eyebrow. "Cano, Elrond is an adult with children of his own. He's aware of such things. Though, if I had such an experience myself, it has been lost from the accident."

"Even so." Maglor poked Esgaron in amusement. "I am sure he is, but... there is a part of me that still sees him as the young child looking up at me. I would spare him, if I could."

Esgaron hissed a little at the poke. "Well, he can hardly object to this, can he?" he asked and simply snuggled into Maglor, gently coaxing Maglor's head onto _his_ shoulder for a change.

Maglor kissed him lightly in apology and curled against Esgaron willingly. "True enough!" Maglor agreed.

Esgaron wrapped himself around Maglor. "Mm. I love being with you like this," he murmured.

Maglor pressed his ear to Esgaron's chest with a contented hum. "And I love it when you hold me so, love."

Esgaron brushed a delicate kiss over Maglor's brow. "Go ahead and rest, Cano," he said.

"Mm, you make it easy, love," Maglor sighed softly in contentment, reaching to tangle his fingers with Esgaron's. "I love you so much, Esgaron."

"I love you dearly too, my sweet Cano." He cuddled Maglor, drifting into a light doze, at least until a knock came on their door, and Esgaron groaned sleepily in protest. "Should I let them in or tell them to go away?"

Maglor grumbled softly in return, but sighed and nudged Esgaron. "Best to answer I think," he said, "The sooner we do, the sooner we can get back to snuggling, hm?"

Esgaron sighed and kissed Maglor's cheek before calling out, "Enter!" He did still remain curled up with Maglor, though, unwilling to disentangle himself.

Elrond entered, keeping his expression neutrally pleasant as he took in the pair. "Good afternoon, how are you feeling?" he asked.

"Warm and cozy," Esgaron replied, a flicker of challenge in his eyes.

"Do you mind if I check to see how the healing is coming along?" Elrond asked patiently.

"...I suppose," Esgaron sighed. He reluctantly pulled away from Maglor. "Sorry, Cano..."

Maglor brushed a kiss across Esgaron's cheek as he sat up as well. "Do not apologise, love. Do you want me to wait outside?" he asked.

"You can stay," Esgaron said. He looked to Elrond. "If you do not mind?"

Elrond smiled kindly. "I just want to see how the healing is coming along! How are you feeling?" he asked.

Esgaron shrugged a little. "It does not hurt as much as it used to. Unless I exert too hard. Mostly, things are just... awkward and clumsy," he said.

Elrond nodded, and looked to Maglor. "Anything you have observed?" he asked.

Maglor smiled back and settled behind Esgaron again, wrapping him in his arms. "He does seem to be improving," Maglor agreed with Esgaron's own assessment, "His stamina is better and he has not needed the painkillers."

Elrond moved to carefully inspect the injury areas. "Yes, coming along nicely... They seem to still be set correctly. Not yet healed, but soon the splints can come off. You can do some activity, as long as it is mild, moderate at most. I would hate to see you undo all of your good progress so far. But you should still be doing rib exercises. Maglor, ensure he does so," he instructed. Esgaron brightened a little at this news. "And how are you doing otherwise? Emotionally? Mentally?" Elrond pressed gently. Esgaron hesitated, and Elrond looked to Maglor again.

Maglor smiled with pleasure to hear that, and then his arms tightened in support. He has had no nightmares, the last few nights," he said softly, "But..." Maglor stopped, and then started again slowly, hesitating. "Some things... still worry him. Rain, mostly."

Esgaron's voice was very quiet: "And... There are still gaps. So many gaps..."

Elrond put a sympathetic hand on Esgaron's shoulder. "You have survived something few can imagine. It is understandable that you are still troubled. Such things are not healed easily. And some things must be healed from within. Your parents will be here soon, and they may be able to provide memories your sister and I cannot. Have you been sleeping mostly, yet? Or have you been taking reverie?" he asked.

"...mostly sleep," Esgaron admitted.

Elrond didn't look surprised, but at the same time didn't seem happy to hear that. "And your appetite?"

Esgaron gave him a sheepish look. "Prodigious. Cano can tell you. I ate most of our picnic."

"Very much so," Maglor agreed wryly, "A good sign, I hope? But he does sleep still - even when he starts in reverie, he drops off before too long."

"So long as the urge drops off as you heal. Otherwise, there may be a problem," Elrond said. He looked to Maglor. "In the time you have known him, have you ever seen him pass a night without sleeping?"

Maglor opened his mouth and then shut it thoughtfully. "I... hm. Not... that I can recall. Esgaron?"

"What makes you think I would remember?" Esgaron countered, his eyebrows arching.

Maglor shrugged back at him. Sometimes I sleep too, you know," he pointed out, "I do not know if you sleep during those times too - I only assume you do."

"I think I have seen you sleeping exactly twice. And I sleep... very soundly... I do not wake easily until I am rested," Esgaron said.

"I do not much enjoy it." Maglor nosed against Esgaron fondly, ignoring Elrond's presence briefly. "It is better, with you around," he said, "And that is true." He nodded at Elrond. "When he has had a trying time, he sleeps especially deep."

"I do my best," Esgaron said, and he nuzzled back.

"Hmm, likely a sign of your _hroa_ trying to heal itself still. But it should not continue indefinitely, even if the damage was extensive. But for now... patience," Elrond advised.

Esgaron scowled. My patience feels shorter than it once did," he groused.

Maglor laughs softly at that last part. "That much is true - he has been rather snappier than usual. I do not think he enjoys being unwell."

"Would you enjoy it if it were you recovering, Cano?" Esgaron retorted.

"Not entirely," Maglor admitted fondly, "Although I do not know how I would be as a patient these days - it has been a long time since I had any to care for me. Maedhros used to say I whined."

"We would care for you if needed, Cano," Esgaron said.

"I know you would, love." Maglor smiles at him tenderly.

"He did use to whine," Elrond added helpfully. "I remember when he was injured."

" _Elrond!_ " Maglor scolded.

Esgaron chuckled. "Does that mean stories?" he asked.

"Well..." Elrond began, watching Maglor's reaction. Maglor groaned in embarassment and buried his head in Esgaron's shoulder, but he did not actually protest, which Elrond took as permission. "We seldom saw him ride out, when we were young - Maedhros would go out, but he stayed behind with us. So being young, we forgot, for a time, how dangerous he could be. But one time we tried to escape, and we ran straight into a band of orcs. Maglor saved us, but... he was injured in the doing. Once we got over the terror of a furious Maedhros... well. Maglor is correct in that he is an overdramatic patient." 

"Ah, my poor Cano. May I always find you in good health, then," Esgaron said, trying to stifle his laughter.

"Curse your perfect Elven recall, Elrond," Maglor grumbled into Esgaron's shoulder, blushing, as Elrond looked on in amusement. 

Esgaron caressed Maglor's cheek, intending to tilt his face up for a kiss, but at Maglor's words, he stopped, his hand dropping, and he looked away silently. Elrond opened his mouth as if to say something, but closed it again when he looked at his brother-in-law. Maglor felt the shift and looked up in time to catch Esgaron's look and he paled.

"Oh no. Oh, love. I'm sorry. I did not mean... Esgaron, forgive me, I did not mean it that way!" Maglor cried.

Esgaron took a slow, shuddering breath and let it back out equally shakily. "I... I know. Even I did not expect it would cut so. It is a foolish sensitivity, but it seems one I am not as far past as I had hoped."

"Give it time. Healing and peace are both long processes," Elrond said gently, "It is perhaps my fault as well."

Maglor shook his head. "I should have been kinder. I am sorry I did not think before speaking."

Esgaron held Maglor more tightly, and ghosted a light kiss over his lips. "I do not doubt you, _mell nín,_ " he said in a low voice.

Maglor nosed back gently. "I am still sorry. But thank you for being understanding," he said.

"I forgive you, Cano," Esgaron said.

"Thank you, Esgaron," Maglor whispered.

Elrond quietly made a few notes. "Well, I appreciate your patience in recovery. I do believe the worst is over, and I hope it continues to go as smoothly as possible," he said.

"Thank you. You seem to believe it smoother than I," Esgaron said, nodding.

Maglor smiled up at Elrond in thanks. "Thank you for all your help. Do you know how much longer?" he asked.

"A few more weeks for the bones to fully set. After that, the splints and bandages can come off permanently and he can begin work to strengthen them again," Elrond explained.

Esgaron sighed, "That long yet? Very well."

"Not _that_ long, love," Maglor chided but hugged him gently. "How far can we wander safely?"

"Long enough," Esgaron grumbled.

"That will depend on you. The valley is a safe place, but not always discreet. If you go to certain areas, your presence will be known to all of our guests and staff. Many suspect it already and rumors fly as quickly as we work to suppress them. But that is the worst danger, save perhaps trying to climb places you are not ready for," Elrond told them.

"I will be here with you," Maglor promised, and nodded to Elrond. "Thank you, Elrond. Where will be safest? And how soon until he can climb?" he asked.

"When the splints come off," Elrond said, "At least, for anything beyond what you have already done."

"I see. Thank you." Esgaron sighed faintly and snuggled into Maglor's arms.

"Be patient. You are progressing well. In the meantime, you may entertain yourself as you choose here," Elrond said, and then bowed and exited.

"So. Now what? Do you still wish rest, Cano?" Esgaron asked.

"I think I am well and truly awake now, love. What do you feel like? I think so long as we remain in the family rooms we can essentially wander as we please - and there is the garden, also," Maglor suggested.

"We have only just come in from a day in the gardens. Elrond probably thinks I should be in the library, but scrolls and books do not compare with songs and stories told aloud--" Esgaron paused. "...How recognizable do you suppose we really are in a place like Imladris?"

"True." Maglor hummed thoughtfully. "Me, I think not very - there are still more Noldor here than anyone else, but unless Elrond is the sort to keep large tapestries of the sons of Fëanor around--" ...he really hoped Elrond was not... "--I should be relatively anonymous. But you... you _are_ fairly well known, love. Although if we covered up your hair... perhaps."

"My most defining feature, hmm? We just washed it, I know, but... if we were to darken it with soot, perhaps, braid it so as to show the scar and disguise the length... Put a cloak over it... Would that be enough?" Esgaron asked.

"I am hesitant to dirty it, not so soon after we washed it! But... I think a cloak, might work. Especially if we wait 'til twilight. The Last Homely House entertains many visitors - if we kept to the shadows, we might be just another set of travellers," Maglor said.

"Did they ever bring back the clothes we arrived in? That would be less conspicuous than the white," Esgaron said.

"I do not think so - but by now your sister will have made sure her sons had more normal clothing in the press - let me go and look." Maglor went and pawed through the clothes press. "Ah, yes - see? These are much more 'standard.' We could ask if our old things are back too."

"We should get them back regardless." Esgaron came up and peered over Maglor's shoulder. "But, those do look more suited to travelers."

"If we find Erestor, he would know - did not your sister say they were using them to get an idea of our measurements?" Maglor asked.

"If that is the case, they should be done with them by now. Do you wish to call Erestor?" Esgaron mused.

"I would have thought so, yes. Mm, or the twins, perhaps?" Maglor suggested.

Esgaron kissed Maglor's neck. "So, what say you to an evening in the common room tonight?"


	21. Fire Burning Brightly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A night of romance awaits the pair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 0\. Welcome to the first chapter of the new year, friends!  
> 1\. As you can imagine, there are quite a bit of intimate activities in this chapter, but it's not entirely without plot!

_So, what say you to an evening in the common room tonight?_

Maglor shivered a little at the idea, and the kisses on his neck with a low, content sound. "I think it would be an acceptable risk," he said.

Esgaron was still lightly nuzzling and kissing at Maglor's neck. "An acceptable risk," he echoed. "How very romantic."

Maglor's neck automatically arched to give Esgaron access. "Oh? I did not realise you wished for romance tonight, my love," he said.

Esgaron trailed more soft, decadent kisses along his lover's neck. "Truly, it is rarer that I do not, _Meleth._ I delight in sharing love with you," he said.

Maglor's skin began to flush a little as he did, the soft, happy hum continuing, "Hm, I think, my sweet, that we had best keep our more... intimate activities for afterwards, perhaps! But a nice bottle of wine, a story or two and a good song in the Hall of Fire... does that sound romantic enough to you?"

"It sounds wonderful." Esgaron drew Maglor into a gentle kiss on the lips. "I will refrain from any exhibition. After all, we are to blend in as unremarkable travelers, are we not?"

Maglor hummed happily into the kiss as he kissed back just as gently, hand coming up to brush fondly aginst Esgaron's cheek and tangle in his hair. "Hm, yes, I suppose we would not wish to draw too much attention," he agreed.

"Not overly much, indeed. We still have the fact that I am to be your second spouse, which may draw curiosity," Esgaron mused, "Though I would be glad to show you off otherwise." He drew back in the direction of the door. "But come. Let us ask for our belongings back."

"This is true. I still worry we will not be able to bond properly because of that - but I suppose time will tell. And either way I would not let you go," Maglor said. "Hm! After teasing me so!" he teased fondly as Esgaron pulled away, "But yes, the soonest started, the soonest finished."

Esgaron tilted his head quizzically. "Not bond properly? What are you talking about, Cano? Do you in any way doubt that I am yours?" he asked.

"No. But I worry... that my existing bond will... interfere. I do not want that, love. I want it to be perfect," Maglor admitted.

"Did it interfere for your grandparents?" Esgaron tenderly caressed Maglor's cheek. "The bond is already forming, love. We are but one act away from sealing it. Look me in the eyes and ask if it is not forming true."

"I do not know." Maglor turned his face to kiss Esgaron's palm gently. "It never seemed to, so I am likely worried for nothing. I suppose I am just a worry wart."

" _Look_ at me, Cano. Look in my eyes and tell me if the bond is not true." Esgaron's voice was firm, and he tipped Maglor's chin up to meet his gaze.

Maglor met his eyes and sighed softly, closing the distance to kiss Esgaron as he fell into his eyes. "Ah, love. Forgive this old worrier," Maglor sighed. 

Esgaron met the kiss lovingly. "There is nothing to forgive, love," he assured. "...what is it that you see when you look in my eyes, Cano?"

"Hope." Maglor kissed him gently. "I see my future."

"One that is long and happy?" Esgaron asked. He accepted Maglor's kisses readily, and nuzzled his lover. 

"One with you by my side must needs be happy," Maglor said, smiling at him fondly, running fingers through his bright hair.

"I am glad to hear that, my raven," Esgaron murmured and he kissed Maglor softly. "But let us go and find our things, yes?"

"I suppose we had better, or you will distract me, love," Maglor agreed. He nosed back gently with a smile and then backed away far enough to tangle their hands together and head towards the door.

"Where shall we start? My nephews or Erestor's office? Either might have some idea," Esgaron suggested.

"Hm, I think Erestor will be the easier one to find, unless your nephews are nearby. But with weather this good, at their age I imagine we will not be likely to find them indoors!" Maglor laughed, "Still, we can keep our eyes open. We know Elladan, at least, was about earlier."

"Ah, true. No doubt Captain Glorfindel keeps them active on patrols," Esgaron mused, "Let us try Erestor's office, then." He opened the door and slipped down the hall, hand in hand with Maglor.

Maglor followed him out happily and kept an eye out for the twins, but there was no sign of them. The corridors were quiet at that time of day, most everyone having either already begun to gather in the halls or retired to their rooms, and they did not run into anyone beyond the occasional passing servant or voices down other passages. Soon, they reached the office. Erestor looked up when they entered and raised a curious eyebrow, setting his quill aside and getting up to offer them both a seat.

"I was not expecting visitors - is there something the matter?" Erestor asked, almost too mildly.

"Nothing serious, I assure you, Lord Erestor - we just had some inquiries into our clothes?" Maglor said.

"The garments we arrived in were removed, I believe for laundry purposes. While we appreciate the hospitality offered here, it would be nice to have our own things again," Esgaron explained.

"Ah! Of course. Careless of them to neglect to return it. My apologies, I did not realise. If you would like to fetch them yourselves, the tailors are near here. Or I could get a servant to bring them?" Erestor offered.

"Thank you - if it would not impose too greatly, I am sure we can do it ourselves," Maglor said.

"You are very kind. Still, I agree, I think we can manage the task, so long as we need not do a great deal of searching," Esgaron agreed.

There was a perfunctory nod and Erestor gestured; "Very well - it is not far, nor should it be difficult - if you recall where you went for your fittings, the tailors' workshops - the laundry is just one corridor down. Ask to speak to Saelmir - he will know where your things are."

"Thank you, Lord Erestor - shall we, love?" Maglor rose and gave a slight bow to Erestor out of pure ancient habit and took Esgaron's hand.

"Very well," Esgaron said. His hand tightened around Maglor's. "I shall follow you, Cano. Thank you again, Erestor." He bowed slightly as well, following Maglor's example.

"Your Majesty is most welcome." Erestor bowed back to the two of them politely.

Maglor smiled at Esgaron and tugged him out into the corridor. "Come on then, love - I think it was this way, was it not?" he said.

Esgaron threw a startled look at Erestor as they left the office. "He... knows we are not kings... Why would he say that?" he asked.

"Because Erestor has a very odd sense of humor, and likes to remind me of the time when I was regent. Also, he probably still thinks of you as Amroth, on some levels. He used to call me that when he was annoyed, in the old days," Maglor explained.

"...did we annoy him, then?" Esgaron worried the edge of his lip absently against his teeth.

"You did not - he was looking at me when he said it," Maglor assured him, "Although... I do not know exactly _why_ this time - he will doubtless tell me, at some point."

"You are certain it has nought to do with me?" Esgaron asked and his gaze slid away from Maglor. "Such is a title I do not feel I can bear again easily..."

"It can be very hard to tell with Erestor, but I do not _think_ so? If it helps, that sort of annoyance is a fond sort, not an angry sort. And you can ask him not to use the title, if you like. He respects Amroth a good deal - and if you ask him, he will refrain, I am sure," Maglor said.

"I see." Esgaron breathed a little more easily in relief. "But, ah, we have a task to complete. Should be this way..." He headed toward the spot where their old clothes were being stored.

"Mm." Maglor followed dutifully and tapped on the door when they arrived, asking as instructed for Saelmir, though more than one of the tailors came to crowd at the door, their curiosity piqued by the sudden intrusion. "Good day, sirs, we were looking for our clothes?" Maglor said.

"The ones we arrived in," Esgaron clarified, "Though we would be glad to have the wedding garments sent to our quarters when they are complete."

" _Those_ clothes?" Saelmir said it in a tone laced with dismay and disgust, his eyebrows arching nearly to his hairline. "If you so insist." He presented them with a bundle of their garments. "Anything else?" he asked.

A corner of Maglor's lips quirked up - their travel things were stained and worn, although still far finer than anything Maglor had owned for a long time - if not quite up to Imladris standard. "Aye, these are the ones. Thank you for the repairs," Maglor said, inclining his head gratefully.

"It is appreciated." Esgaron tossed off a cheeky smile as he collected his things and headed back toward their room with Maglor. "Will you miss having me in white, Cano?" he asked.

Maglor tangled their fingers together as they walked, pleased that the errand did not take very long. "In part, I suppose? But I like you in anything, love - and out of it! As you well know," he said.

"They should have the white robes done soon. And I doubt they would begrudge me keeping one white outfit from the press. Just for you," Esgaron said. He lightly stroked Maglor's hand clasped in his with his thumb. "...do you want to spend a little time enjoying me out of them?" he purred.

"Hm, have we time before dinner?" Maglor tipped his head at him playfully.

"I do if you do," Esgaron said, his voice starting to fade into velvet tones. He tipped his head just so, golden hair falling into his eyes, which burned brightly behind the fair strands.

"Tempter," Maglor accused fondly, already reacting to the promise in Esgaron's eyes, bending forwards to steal a quick kiss.

"Exactly how you like me." Esgaron stole a kiss back, lingering a bit longer than Maglor did.

"Hmm, that much is true." Maglor smiled at him and let the kiss linger before pulling back reluctantly and tangling their fingers together again. "We had best hurry back to our room, then!" he said.

"Come along then, my raven," Esgaron said. 

"As my king commands," Maglor cooed. 

Esgaron led Maglor back to their room, his steps eager. "Now... Where were we?" he asked.

Maglor shut the door behind them as they went in, dropping his head to kiss along Esgaron's neck and hold him close. "Hm, I believe we were investigating how much I love you both in and out of clothes, beloved," he murmured against the warmth of Esgaron's pulse.

Esgaron arched his neck with a happy sigh. "And which do you enjoy more, my love?" he asked.

Maglor's fingers went to play with laces, feeling them give when he tugged, hands slipping under shirts to brush teasingly across skin. "Hm, it is hard to decide, as both have their attractions..."

"Is that so?" Esgaron asked, his voice becoming ever more breathless. He leaned in to nuzzle Maglor's ear. "Tell me what you like about each one."

Maglor shivered a little when he felt Esgaron's warm breath against the shell of his ear and continued kissing up his neck. "Well, I love how your hair contrasts against the colors you wear, a wealth of gold framing a face with such clear, loving eyes and kissable lips," Maglor said, pausing only a moment to gaze at the features as he named them.

Esgaron sighed, arching his neck further, letting that golden hair fall to one side. "Well, sweet Cano, you have one of the finest mouths I have seen. Who could resist such lips, hmm?" he said.

"Well, I am glad you think so, beloved!" Maglor laughed at that, but was not yet distracted from his quest, hands roaming in teasing patterns under Esgaron's shirt as he continued to kiss him.

"I do," Esgaron said. He further loosened the laces on his shirt, exposing a triangle of pale skin, eyes brightening in their smoulder. "And without clothes?" he prompted.

Maglor obligingly changed angles to kiss down to that inviting triangle, teeth just lightly scratching to provide a slight change in sensation. "Hm, out, I get to appreciate fully that handsome body of yours, lithe and lissom and strong, and your clever, clever hands," Maglor said.

The attention made Esgaron gasp softly and he clutched his fingers in dark hair. "Between us both, I believe your hands far cleverer than mine, love," he said.

Maglor's low chuckle was felt more than it was heard. "Well, I do not know about that, love. We could experiment, I suppose, and decide later?" Maglor suggested. He allowed his hands to obligingly skim down and tease along the line of his lover's hips.

Esgaron lowered his hands as well, drawing Maglor's hips forward, close enough that he could easily feel Esgaron's growing arousal. "I feel, perhaps, already decided," he whispered in Maglor's ear.

Maglor hissed and pressed closer, but his voice stayed steady, "You may, my love, but I have not!"

"But it is not a fair contest while my hands are yet healing," Esgaron pointed out, "Experiment as you wish, by all means, my dearest, but do not judge until I am able to pleasure you in full."

"Hm, this is true. I suppose we can consider this to be my submission for the contest, and then I will have to let you have equal time, when you are well, if we are to be perfectly fair!" Maglor conceded. His hands never stopped moving.

"A day I eagerly await. But for now, I am putty in your hands, sweet Cano," Esgaron said. He drew Maglor into another kiss, and started moving toward the bed. It was an awkward sort of shuffle, trying to avoid entangling legs too badly.

Maglor kissed back, letting him go only reluctantly to follow him to the bed without tripping over Esgaron. "Well then, my sweet one, what use would you have of me today?" Maglor asked, leaning against the side of the bed.

"It is your demonstration, Cano. However you think you have the best chance to prove the cleverness of those lovely musician's hands," Esgaron whispered into Maglor's ear, dropping his voice into a smoky, silken tone, "But you can start by getting me out of the white."

Maglor shivered at his voice, eyes dilating, and he pushed Esgaron onto the sheets with a laugh. "Such a tempter you are. But I suppose I should, at that!" he said. So slowly, he finished undoing the laces on Esgaron's shirt, teasing as he went.

"I cannot be all that tempting, else we would already be wed," Esgaron scoffed. He was watching Maglor's every move with bright, keen eyes. They missed nothing, not so much as a flicker of movement.

"You have no idea _how_ tempting you are, beloved," Maglor growled. He took his time, drawing it out in a long tease, but he did eventually get Esgaron out of his top at least, bending to kiss his way across his torso. "So, so very tempting."

A low sound of pleasure rumbled through Esgaron's throat. "Perhaps you had better show me, then," he purred.

Maglor hummed, pleased and let his hands drift down to Esgaron's pants, slowly undoing the laces and tracing teasingly along his thigh. He couldn't help but smile to see Esgaron's arousal straining against the fabric. "I suppose I should, shouldn't I?" he said.

Esgaron squirmed at the tease. "Please..." he whispered.

Maglor laughed softly and obliged him, finally closing his hand around Esgaron to stroke, even as he leaned forwards to kiss him again. Esgaron groaned at the touch and was eager for Maglor's kisses, his mouth hot and desperate. He was more passive this time, letting his lover work, but a constant stream of gasps and moans and whimpers of pleasure were there to guide Maglor's efforts. Maglor took his time, lingering when Esgaron seemed to like something, teasing at others, kissing away his gasps and moans fondly.

"Do I please you, beloved?" Maglor asked.

"More than you could ever know, _meleth._ " Esgaron tenderly stroked his cheek, and then caught Maglor in a deep, lingering kiss.

"Then will you come undone for me, love?" Maglor asked. He kissed Esgaron in return, speeding up his strokes.

"Soon, Cano..." Esgaron gasped. He clung to his lover tightly, breath hot against Maglor's skin, panting as he came closer and closer to his climax. Finally, after a few minutes, his body tensed and he cried out in pleasure and spilled. He then curled into Maglor's arms, nuzzling. "...I love when you do that..." he sighed.

Maglor smiled as he watched Esgaron through his climax, stroking him gently through it. "And I love to watch you as you peak, Esgaron. So very beautiful you are," he said.

"Your finest joy in enjoying me without my clothes, hmm?" Esgaron teased sweetly, brushing fingers delicately over Maglor's skin, so fine and fair.

"Very much so," Maglor agreed. He shivered as Esgaron's fingers teased, responding by kissing him slowly and sweetly. "Although I might like the sounds you make more, I am undecided."

"Must you decide at all? They are pleasures intertwined, are they not? One does not come without the other," Esgaron said.

"This is very true," Maglor said and smiled at him fondly, "So well you spoil me, presenting me with not only symphony, but artwork, as well."

"Does it count as spoiling when you work to earn it with such sweet words and tender lips and clever hands, my love?" Esgaron teased.

"Perhaps! Either way I am indeed the most fortunate, to have such a treasure," Maglor laughed and kissed Esgaron's brow.

"And what do you intend to do with your treasure, hmm?" Esgaron asked. He smoothed a lock of Maglor's hair.

"Mm, well, one day I mean to wed, beneath a summer sky," Maglor said, "But for now, I would see you smile, love, and heal."

"It is decided for next summer, then? You are certain?" Esgaron asked.

"Unless you would prefer earlier, love. We could always try for earlier - this autumn, or next spring, perhaps," Maglor said.

"I would have you now, were the circumstances different," Esgaron said, still toying absently with Maglor's hair, "Does my sister's suggestion still sway you toward the height of summer?"

"She does paint rather a lovely picture - but 'tis your wedding as well, love," Maglor said.

Esgaron laughed softly, and moved, trying to catch what he could of the late afternoon light in his hair. "Mostly, I just want you to be happy, _meleth._ You did enjoy me so in the sunshine, after all..."

"I did - and I do." Maglor reached up to catch a few strands and run them through his fingers as he leaned forwards to kiss Esgaron gently. "But if you do not wish to wait that long, I mind not speeding up the process, a little," he said.

Esgaron accepted the kiss, his lips just as sweet and gentle at first, but then he rolled Maglor into the mattress as well. "You do tempt me so, Cano," he said, his tone deceptively mild.

Maglor yelped in surprise and then laughed as Esgaron rolled them, looking up at him fondly. "As you do me, beloved," he said.

Esgaron bent his head and kissed Maglor slowly and soundly. "...I am beginning to think you prefer me holding the reins, hmm?" He ran fingers through Maglor's hair. "Is that so?"

Maglor hummed into the kisses. "Well, I cannot say I _mind_ it, love!" he said.

"I did not think you would _mind,_ " Esgaron said. He pressed his body against Maglor's, bringing his weight to bear and whispered into his lover's ear, "I asked if you _preferred_ it."

Maglor gasped at that, a small whimper of sound, his own arousal suddenly very apparent. "I... yes?" he squeaked out.

"Mmm." For a moment, Esgaron just gazed down at Maglor, eyes full of silver light and tenderly stroked his lover's cheek. "I promise I will indulge you, once I am healed, and after the wedding," he said, "Yet... if it please you, love, I would still yield to you in our first moments wed."

Maglor shuddered at the look in Esgaron's eyes, and he turned to kiss the gentle hand. "I do not mind, beloved - either way, all I want is for you to be happy," he promised.

"Then you must want for very little, _meleth_ , for I am happiest with you," Esgaron said. He buried his hand in Maglor's hair, bringing their lips together in a kiss, but was still pressing Maglor down into the softness of the bed, hips grinding together.

"As I am with you," Maglor gasped into the kisses, and groaned as Esgaron teased him so, "Ai, beloved!"

"Something wrong, my Cano?" The words might have been innocent, but they were still spoken in that low, silky purr he did.

"Ngh, Esgaron do not tease so, beloved!" Maglor moaned, arching up and tugging at him.

"And why not?" Esgaron moved to lightly suck the tip of Maglor's ear.

Maglor whined, breathless, "Beloved, please!"

"Please what?" Esgaron asked, "Do you wish me to stop, _mell nín?_ " He pulled back somewhat. "Or..." He slid a hand down to gently palm Maglor, smiling to feel him straining against the laces. "...shall I keep going?"

"P-please!" Maglor whined, reaching up for him when he pulled away, and then gasped, unable to stop his hips jerking up into the touch, "Oh, love, please, touch me."

Esgaron fumbled with the laces, loosening them up, but after a while gave up and just slipped his hand into Maglor's pants, gently stroking. "Like that?" he asked.

Maglor moaned as he did, bucking up towards him, "Yes, oh yes, just like that, beloved."

Esgaron returned to kissing Maglor's ear and neck as ran his hand over his lover's arousal. "Stars, listen to you, Cano. You are so rarely this vocal..." he murmured.

Maglor whined, baring his neck for Esgaron and reaching for him. "Love you," he managed, "So much."

Esgaron gave as much of himself to Maglor as he could with his kisses and caresses. "Sing for me, my love. Come undone," he urged. Maglor's keen as he obeyed was silent, shaking apart in his lover's arms and curling against him after. Esgaron caught Maglor in a kiss and then, with a wicked little smile, proceeded to lick off his fingers where Maglor spilled over them. "Feeling better, my lovely?" he asked.

Maglor's eyes flashed as Esgaron did so, but he huffed, reaching up to run fingers through Esgaron's hair fondly. "Much, beloved," he said.

"Good." Esgaron leaned in for another kiss. "I love you, Cano."

Maglor kissed back lovingly. "And I you, Esgaron. Come and lie with me before dinner?" he suggested.

"You say that as if I am not already in bed with you," Esgaron said. But he snuggled up with Maglor, brushing lazy kisses over his ear and cheek and neck. "Did I wear you out again?" he asked.

"Lie down properly," Maglor corrected. He grinned back tiredly and snuggled close. "You did, love - you always do."

"Mmm. Warm me up, Cano? You still have clothes on," Esgaron said as he nestled in tightly, "Ahh. You are so nice and hot yet."

"I could fetch yours." Maglor smiled and pulled him close to cuddle. "'Twas you who got me to that stage, Esgaron!" he teased affectionately, pressing a kiss to his hair.

"You could, but you asked me to lie down with you. After you asked me to touch you. I do believe this is what you wanted, hmm?" Esgaron teased back and kissed Maglor's shoulder.

"So I did." Maglor tugged gently at the golden strands of his hair. "You are _exceptionally_ good at making me forgetful, perhaps!"

"Cano, be nice. Your memory is the perfect one." Esgaron pouted for a moment, but then nuzzled, his touch light and delicate against Maglor's skin.

"Sorry, love, you know I did not mean it that way." Instantly contrite, Maglor kissed him softly in apology.

"I know. Will you share more memories with me?" Esgaron asked.

"Of course, beloved. Although I fear very few of my recent ones before I met you are at all kind," Maglor told him.

"They don't have to be." Esgaron shifted, tucking his head under Maglor's chin.

Maglor wrapped his arms around him in turn. "How is your _onsanwe_ , beloved?" he asked, "I can sing you the tales, but I am not particularly good at sharing those memories otherwise."

"...I still have yet to close my mind since Elrond and my sister gave me what they could. My mind has a thousand voices weaving in and out of it," Esgaron sighed.

"Ah, love, that must be so noisy," Maglor soothed, "What can I do to help you pick out mine?"

"Help me know yours the best? Drown out the others? You are closest to me, and I think that helps," Esgaron said, "I still wonder what they can hear of me. So much is falling into my head, but what is spilling out?"

"Whatever you need, beloved." Maglor kissed his hair gently, and his thoughts drifted about how beautiful Esgaron was, all golden bright. "As to that, I do not know - I cannot hear well, as you know - but you could ask your sister?"

"I suppose it matters little so long as I am not disturbing others by screaming in the night," Esgaron mused. He buried his face in Maglor's neck, breathing him in deeply. "Ah, my Cano. At least dreams are sweeter with you."

Maglor's head tipped back a little and his arms tightened around Esgaron. "I am sure you do no such thing. And I am glad to help a little, beloved," he said. He silently wished so hard that he could take away all Esgaron's fear.

"Your song is the sweetest, Cano, you know that. I love it, and you," Esgaron said. He traced fingers absently over Maglor's chest, brushing the stitching of his shirt. "I will stay with you like this for as long as you want."

Maglor's breath sighed in soft contentment, modulating to a low hum as he idly ran fingers through Esgaron's hair. "I think you biased, beloved. But then, I like your Song the best," he said.

Esgaron laughed softly, a low rumble against Maglor's shoulder, "Of course I am biased. You are the _ellon_ with whom I fell in love."

Maglor hummed, a cheerful counterpart to Esgaron's laugh, and kissed his hair again. "As are you. So we are both equally biased, eh?" he teased.

"It seems we are. Whatever are we going to do with each other?" Esgaron asked. He pulled his head back enough that he could look up at Maglor through his fringe of golden lashes, eyes glittering.

Maglor could not help but dip to kiss him for that, brushing feather light across his cheeks. "Hm, I suppose we are stuck with each other then, are we not?" he countered.

Esgaron shifted so he could kiss Maglor properly on the lips, sweetly tender. "And I could not be happier."

Maglor hummed softly into the kisses and kept them sweet. "Nor I, beloved," he said.

"I find myself suddenly in a quandary, my raven." Esgaron gazed softly at Maglor, idly running his hand through dark hair. Do we get up and dress to join the crowd in the Hall, or do I give in to the sweet temptation of just staying here with you, lying in your arms, your kisses sweet upon my lips, your touch upon my skin? What say you?" he asked.

Maglor reached up to brush gently fingers across Esgaron's cheek. "That is a terrible quandry," he agreed wryly, "And now you put it to me, I am also struggling, for while manners dictates we should get up, you make a _highly_ delectable temptation to remain."

"Made all the more difficult in that I promised I would be on my most polite behavior and refrain from being too affectionate," Esgaron sighed, "Minimal touching." He caressed Maglor's cheek. "No kisses." He kissed Maglor, a long and lingering kiss. "And yet... Should we go... It means you will have the opportunity to undress me again, and we can have our play throughout the night..."

Maglor shivered under his lover's hands and his eyes were bright after the kiss. "You make, as ever, a _terribly_ convincing argument," he purred lowly up at Esgaron, "I suppose we should be good, for I do _so_ enjoy undressing you."

Esgaron stole another kiss. "You are delectable yourself, looking at me like that," he said, and he pushed himself halfway up. "I will need your help in braiding my hair. Did you also want to help me dress?"

Maglor kissed back, and almost sighed a little as he pulled back. He chuckled softly at that though, "Mmm, I get to wrap and then unwrap my present later! I would love to, Esgaron. How do you want your hair, tonight?"

Esgaron laughed softly and snuck in one more kiss. "Present, hmm? Are we celebrating anything in particular?" he teased. But more seriously then, "It seems my hair is a defining feature. So braided back, and tightly, so the scar is shown but the gold not obvious under a hood."

Maglor smiled back at him as he got up and teased, "Oh, I don't know. We could always make something up. Our first night in the Hall of Fire celebration, perhaps!" He nodded, reaching over to start brushing Esgaron's hair. "All right, love." Quick and simple, but he kept it back neatly and exposed the scar, dropping a kiss on Esgaron's neck when he was done. "There, beloved."

"Thank you." Esgaron kissed Maglor's cheek in gratitude and then fetched his clothes. "Just a little help, please?"

"Of course love, here, let me..." Maglor reached across to help Esgaron with the more fiddly bits of his robes, before getting dressed in his own. "Will you do my hair, love?" he asked.

Esgaron hesitated before reaching over to lightly fingercomb through Maglor's hair. "As long as you do not mind it being very simple. I do not think I can manage braids yet," he said.

"I do not think I wish the attention elaborate braids might bring! Simple is good, love - just to keep it out of my eyes," Maglor said, sitting for him.

"Good, because I think even simple braids would be clumsy. But let me see what I can do...." Esgaron ran his hands through Maglor's hair, attempting simple twists and wrapping, dropping pieces and retrying several times until he gave up on his messy work with a huff of frustration, and finally just tied it back in a series of clasps ending in a long tail. "Does that suit, love?" he asked.

Maglor sat still to enjoy the feeling of his lover's hands in his hair, and when Esgaron was done, he turned to kiss him gently. "It does, beloved. No need for anything fancy tonight, so long as my hair does not get into my food!" he assured.

Esgaron lingered in that gentle kiss. "I do not think it will, _mell nín._ We will never make it to the hall at all if you keep kissing me like that, however," he told Maglor. He fetched his cloak, a grey-green color, and put up the hood. "Do you think they will know me, Cano? Do you wish yours as well?" he asked.

"Hm, I suppose since we have gone to all that effort..." Maglor chuckled and pulled back. "I think you are well disguised, my love - no casual observer should note you, and your family would know you whatever you wore. I think I might wear mine, as well - then we will match, eh? Two travellers in the Last Homely House ought not be marked as anything unusual."

"I think there is more to fear from you being recognized than me. I would not wish to draw too much attention," Esgaron said, "...are you ready, then?"

"Well, at the least it will draw attention from you, love." One last kiss was given, and then Maglor nodded. "I am - are you?" he asked.

"The first one that says so much as a wrong word to you, Cano, will be answering to me." Esgaron's tone seemed as if he was remarking upon the weather, calmly stating a simple fact, but it carried a subtle, effortless menace to it, an equally matter-of-fact warning that promised such an encounter would not be pleasant for whoever dared speak ill of Maglor. He reached for Maglor's hand. "I am ready if you are."

Maglor blinked at him, wide-eyed - he was a seasoned enough campaigner to recognise the threat - and then he flushed a little shyly, and tangled his fingers in Esgaron's. "Oh, love, I do not mind, truly," he said. But his eyes said 'thank you'.

"Perhaps not. But I do," Esgaron said.

Hand-in-hand, he walked with Maglor to the Hall of Fire, choosing the most unobtrusive entrance possible. Some curious heads still turned in their direction, trying to get a better look, but Esgaron kept his face hidden in shadow. As they found seats, Esgaron laid a hand momentarily over Maglor's wrist, a simple gesture, but a possessive one, wordlessly declaring _"Mine"_ to the entire room. Erestor nodded at them as they passed and the twins waved and were obviously considering come over to sit with them, but mostly folk left them alone, although some of the other travellers eyed them interestedly. Attention was swiftly diverted, as Elrond did them the kindness of signaling the musicians to start and saved them any awkward questions. Shyly, Maglor's hand turned to clasp Esgaron's and he leaned a little against him as he listened. Although his posture suggested he was relaxed, the lines of Esgaron's body still carried that same subtle threat, warning off anyone who might have wanted to make trouble. But he sat quietly, listening to the music. He kept his promise to be well-behaved, and so didn't cuddle up with Maglor as he normally would. Rather, he simply brushed his thumb over Maglor's fingers where their hands were clasped in order to show his affection. They were both on their best behaviour, although Maglor did shift if a note was not to his liking, but he kept his mouth shut, and was no more affectionate than the simple lean against his beloved.

"The players are good," Esgaron remarked. He kept his voice low so only Maglor could hear him. "But they pale next to you."

"They are - Lindir, especially. I wonder who his teacher was, as there are rather distinct Silvan overtones to his style. He looks too young to be of Doriath," Maglor said. He kept his voice equally low.

Esgaron blinked in surprise. "Silvan? You think him one of mine, then? Were you reading my book?" he asked.

"I do not know." Maglor shrugged a little. "Maybe - the sound is... not quite Noldor, not quite Sindar, and definitely not Mannish." He nodded. "I had a flip through it, yes - I hope you do not mind?"

"Hmm." Esgaron closed his eyes, listening keenly, and murmured mostly to himself, "Not the sound of the South... Different... Nandorin, I think? From the Green Elves who passed through the mountains in Ages past..." His eyes opened again. "Only a flip? Did you not enjoy it?" he pressed.

"Ah... I had little to do with those folk. If the Ambarussa were here, they might be able to tell us more, perhaps." Maglor cocked his head, listening, and he smiled apologetically at the glimmer of Amroth that had resurfaced. "I did - but I always meant to go back to it and read it properly, and ... somehow I never seemed to have the time," he admitted.

"Ah, and I am a distraction yet again. You will have to tell me more of your brothers at another time," Esgaron said, "But they are good folk. You will see." He tipped his head, trying to hear the music better. "Are you enjoying this?"

"A very enjoyable one, my love!" Maglor assured and smiled at him fondly as he nodded, "I am, yes - Lindir is very good, as I said - and I always enjoy new music. What of yourself?"

"It is lovely... We are being watched, however. Did you notice?" Esgaron said.

"Are we?" Maglor asked. "I confess to paying more attention to the music. But it would not surprise me." Discreetly, Maglor looked around, trying to gauge who was looking in their direction.

"We are." Esgaron subtly pointed out about a dozen curious people. "I can... sense them speculating..."

"Ah," Maglor murmured, and nods at Erestor, "I see them. We are guarded, too - look! Erestor is watching."

Esgaron nodded. "He has kept an eye on us since we arrived. Mostly, people here are curious. Wondering who we are, whence we come, what our relationship is..." he said, "Their thoughts here are loud."

"Erestor would," Maglor agreed, "I suspect he is responsible for the large part of making sure things run smoothly. He would want to both keep an eye on us, as well as make sure no one else causes trouble." He squeezed Esgaron's hand comfortingly. "Ah, my love, that is a hard burden to bear. Your mother was the same, when she was younger. I have been told it helps if you pick one person specifically to listen to. As for the others... let them wonder. If they wish to ask, they can ask Erestor."

"...I cannot close my mind right now. Part of me is afraid to. I do not know how to shut them out," Esgaron admitted, glancing at Maglor, "...you know. I promised to behave myself. But you make it tempting not to do so."

Maglor chuckled softly, "I am sorry to be such a temptation, love. If you want, we could leave early. I recognise this set of songs - they will segue into dancing, soon, if Elrond follows tradition, and I think he is, tonight. For my sake, perhaps, if he does not do so for the other older Noldor in the Valley. We can easily slip away in the crowd."

"Dancing, you say?" Esgaron asked, suddenly intrigued, "If he does this for your benefit, do you wish to stay?"

"I think so - mark how the tunes are getting more lively?" Maglor squeezed Esgaron's fingers again. I do not mind, love - but I would enjoy dancing with you, you know that. But if the thoughts of the crowd become too oppressive, well, our private dances are just as enjoyable, hm?"

"Would it be safe for us to dance here? If the dances are as lively as you say, our hoods will not stay up for long. You are a living legend few have seen in centuries. I do not know how recognizable I would be here. ...perhaps we would be allowed to simply watch," Esgaron mused, "I think, perhaps, I have been spoiled having only you for company and grown unused to worrying who can see us."

"Very few know me now, I think - so the risk is more for you, my love. Why don't we sit and watch for a little? There will be at least one slower dance," Maglor suggested.

"I think that sounds like a splendid idea, my raven. Perhaps it will help me remember the steps. It has been some time since last I danced," Esgaron said, "Do you have a favorite dance?"

"I think I remember enough to not embarrass us both!" Maglor hummed thoughtfully, "Not as such, no - I have favorite songs, but less so dances."

"That is good. And a slower one would be better on my leg. I think Elrond would not be happy if I worsened that. Especially in front of him!" Esgaron said, glancing toward Elrond and his sister before turning back to Maglor. "I thought you once told me you did not have favorites among your songs and stories." His lips quirked up in a cheeky smile.

"That much is true! I would not wish a setback for you either, love." Maglor shot him a sly grin. "Actually, I said I had no favourites _that I would admit to_ , and I will uphold that statement."

"So I cannot ask about your favorite song and get a satisfactory answer?" Esgaron asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Indeed not, Esgaron - but I do have one. I wonder if you can guess?" Maglor teased.

"Well." Esgaron tapped his lip thoughtfully, again a mischievous smile tugging the corners of his mouth. "Knowing you as I do... I would have to say... Mine?"

Maglor smiled back at him. "I think you know me better than most, beloved, but that is all I am saying on the subject," he said airily.

Esgaron shook his head, laughing, "You are a wicked tease, you know that?"

Maglor's smile had a distinctly smug air. "I have been so informed, yes," he replied.

"Absolutely wicked. I should hold you down and kiss you for that, but I promised I would behave," Esgaron said. He signaled one of the staff to bring him a drink, and took a long draught out of it once it was in his hands. His lips glistened wetly as he put the cup down. "Perhaps I shall have to be just as wicked when we go back to our room."

Maglor's eyes were drawn to Esgaron's lips, but he only smiled demurely. "So you did - of course, what we do when we go back is entirely at your discretion," he purred.

"Is it, now?" Esgaron's eyes glittered with a quicksilver gleam under his hood, watching Maglor's fascination with his mouth. "Are you sure that is a good idea? What if I am not merely content to lay you down and cover you in kisses? Or just run my hands across your skin, trailing fingers from your ears to your thighs? What if I should want to explore your most hidden depths? Or have you on all fours before I take you then and there and make you mine?" he asked.

A shiver rippled through Maglor, and silver gleamed in his own eyes, although his voice stayed perfectly level. "Such temptations you lay before me, my king. But if the king commands me, I will obey, of course..." he cooed.

Esgaron canted his head a little. "Truly? If I asked it of you, you would allow all of that this very night? ...you do not know how tempting you are..."

Maglor's eyes flashed as he bit his lip and nodded. "You know I want to wait, but... if you truly wanted it... yes," he admitted.

"I find myself regretting my promise, for I should dearly love to kiss you for that..." Esgaron sighed. Instead, he lightly stroked Maglor's wrist.

Maglor smiled at him shyly and turned his hand to hold Esgaron's. "I love you, Esgaron," he said.

Esgaron squeezed Maglor's hand tightly, trying to convey as much affection through their clasped hands as he would with a kiss. "And I love you, Cano. With all my heart," he said.

Maglor's eyes were full of affection, his heart open wide - he could not hear, he could not send - but he knew Esgaron could read him: _I love you_

Esgaron saw that look, and his breath stopped. "Cano..." He caressed Maglor's hand. Then he sighed, shook his head a little and glanced around the room to see how many people were watching them. It was still a small handful and Erestor, but... "...Valar take the oath," he muttered. 

He leaned in and kissed Maglor. It was a quick kiss, but an intense one, overflowing with love. There was a low gasp and a murmur, quelled swiftly by Erestor's glare and not truly disturbing the mood of the room anyway, as the music had indeed started to kick up. Erestor flicked a quick glance at the twins - who were both watching avidly - and the two grinned, understanding, bouncing to their feet and drawing eyes to themselves as they dragged their nearest friends onto the dance floor, allowing their uncles a brief moment of privacy. Their parents soon followed, Celebrían leading Elrond to the circle of dancers, her smile bright and full of laughter.

Maglor's lips were soft against Esgaron's and his eyes bright when Esgaron pulled away, his hand tangling firmly with Esgaron's own, and he lifted it and brushed a kiss to it in answer. "So bold, beloved," Maglor said.

"So irresistible, _meleth._ " Esgaron smiled shyly. "I hope you are not cross at my weakness."

"Never." Maglor smiled shyly back. "How could I be angry, when I get such precious gifts in return?" he asked.

"Gifts, Cano?" Esgaron said. "I do give you all of myself. Everything. And I am not afraid to let the world know how much I love you." He glanced in Erestor's direction. "Though I suppose we should thank Erestor later," he mused.

"I know - the most perfect of gifts. And I suppose we should, although I suspect he will come over if we do not keep it to kisses!" Maglor laughed. "But there, the first dance is over - would you dance the next with me?"

"I suppose he would. Imagine how scandalized everyone would be if they knew what we get up in our play together. In some ways, a pity, for you are so truly exquisite in the flush of pleasure, and it seems cruel to deny the world such beauty. Then again, I do enjoy having that as a special privilege only for my eyes," Esgaron said. He rose, keeping hold of Maglor's hand. "We should not let my dear sister have _all_ the fun!" He gestured to where Celebrían was Elrond's joyful dance partner, the pair clearly still very much in love, with eyes only for each other, bright with merriment and moving as one to the music. "Just be gentle with me yet?" he pleaded.

"Hm, well I enjoy knowing I have you all to myself as well, so I cannot say I mind." Maglor followed him up and smiled to see Elrond and Celebrían together, watching their movements, the affection in their smiles for each other. "They are a lovely pair," he said fondly, "And your nephews are very popular with the unbonded _ellith,_ I see." Maglor lifted Esgaron's hand to kiss it again and nodded. "As gentle as you wish me to be, my love," he promised.

"My sister seems to think I used to be as well. But no matter now," Esgaron said. He moved into the more-or-less-correct dance position, managing his injured limbs, and carefully began to move to the music. "I fear I am very out-of-practice...."

"I can see why it might have been so! And am very glad you are mine now, Esgaron." Maglor also moved into position, hesitant at first before he relaxed into the music. "As am I, so we will take it slow, eh?"

"Slow works very well for me," Esgaron said. He stayed on the fringes of the dance floor, so as not to be in the way of the livelier dancers. A few looks of worry and pity were thrown their way as Esgaron still moved a bit stiffly and distinctly favored his good leg, and more than once did Elrond's watchful eye fall upon him, but he ignored them, focused just on Maglor. He moved closer to his lover than the dance normally called for, the space between them intimate. But, for all his awkwardness, the steps seemed to come back to him easily, hinting that he was once a very good dancer. "...this is nice," he said.

Maglor hummed along to the song, ignoring everything but Esgaron and the music, feeling his way along the rhythm of the song until he could flow with it again, and he smiled at Esgaron. "It is - and you are better than you thought, my love."

"And a lucky thing, as I am yet healing," Esgaron said. A bit of a cheeky grin played over his lips. "I hope to be better yet by the time we are married."

Maglor laughed softly at that, "I am sure you will be! I shall have to practice, I suppose!"

"You will just have to practice with me. But I am happy as long as I am with you." Esgaron moved a little closer to Maglor, almost more an embrace than a dance. "If you will keep me, of course."

Maglor leaned over to kiss him - on the cheek, since they were in public, but he could not quite resist with Esgaron so close. "Always, beloved. So long as you want me too," he said.

"How could I not? I cherish you, dear Cano. And we will be wed soon." Esgaron breathed deeply as the music wound down. "Shall we watch the next one?" he asked.

"I look forward to that day as well, with great anticipation!" Maglor smiled tenderly and nodded, taking Esgaron by the hand. "I would not mind a rest," he admitted.

Esgaron gave Maglor a grateful smile as they returned to their seats. He sat close beside Maglor, touching but not quite cuddling. He was still supposed to be on good behavior, after all. "They are a joy to watch, hmm?" he said, looking out over the crowd.

They became just another couple, sitting with each other and watching the dances, and Maglor's eyes were fond as he watched Elrond, who was still enraptured by his wife. "They are," Maglor agreed, "The whole valley must be here, it feels like. I am glad to see that there are still places like this."

"Like this? Compared to what?" Esgaron asked.

"During... the war... we... began to lose hope that we would ever see such things. No, that's not right... we _gave up_ any thoughts of joy such as this. It... has been so long..." Maglor sighed.

Esgaron slipped his hand into Maglor's, speaking very softly, "I hope to be that joy for you."

Maglor squeezed back gratefully. "You are, beloved - you are," he said.

"I love you, Cano," Esgaron whispered. He smiled sweetly, but it was clearly taking a great deal of willpower for him to not kiss Maglor and run his hands though his hair.

Maglor could see the look in Esgaron's eyes and his own breath caught. "I think we have socialised as much as is proper, don't you love? Why don't we head back to our room?" he suggested.

"If you are sure, Cano. I would not wish to deprive you of your time here. Though I do so wish to spend time with you as well," Esgaron said. He rose to his feet, still holding Maglor's hand. "I am ready if you are."

"We still have time - we can always come another night," Maglor said. He followed Esgaron to his feet and showed no sign of letting go of his hand. "Then we had best slip away now, while the others dance, I think! See, Erestor is covering for us." He gestured subtly in Erestor's direction.

"Then let us not waste the opportunity," Esgaron decided. Just as quietly as they came in, he slipped out of the room, still hand-in-hand with Maglor. His grip was as tight as he could manage, and along the way, he constantly caressed Maglor's fingers, almost impatiently. The moment the door to their room closed behind them, he seized Maglor in a kiss.

Maglor followed willingly, and he yelped in laughing surprise when Esgaron spun on him that way. He kissed back willingly, hands coming up to pull him close, and laughed softly, "So eager, my love."

"I have been spoiled, getting to kiss you whenever I wish. Now restraint becomes a challenge. Especially when you look at me with such want," Esgaron said breathlessly.

"I can hardly help that you are just as desirable, my love!" Maglor said, and he kissed back eagerly, "But now you have me all to yourself again."

"So I do. As you have me," Esgaron said. He draped his arms around Maglor's neck. "I suspect we are wearing entirely too many clothes."

Maglor smiled at him and pecked a kiss upon his nose. "Are we?" he said with teasing gravity, "That is a sad state of affairs. Should I remove some, or would you like the honor?"

Esgaron idly fingered the tip of Maglor's ear. "I do seem to recall that you were delighted by the idea of... how did you put it? Wrapping and then unwrapping your gift. Is that not the way of it, Cano?" he asked.

Maglor shivered at the light touch. "I do enjoy it - but what about you, my love?" he countered.

"I enjoy your touch, _meleth._ I love to watch the light in your eyes, see how your blood heats at the sight... You may undress me any time you wish," Esgaron said.

Maglor leaned forward to kiss him again, fingers coming up to idly play with his lacings. Such a lovely golden tongue you have, my king," he murmured, "But if I do the undressing, my love, what about my clothes?"

Esgaron moved his hand to finger the lacings. "I can try, but I may need a little help yet..." He worked to undo the cloak and to start loosening Maglor's laces enough to expose his neck, where Esgaron bent to suck at the skin there.

"We have time, love - no need to rush," Maglor said. He kissed Esgaron and echoed his movements, only to stop with an approving hum, neck arching to give Esgaron more room to work.

Pink bloomed on Maglor's neck where Esgaron's mouth was. Slowly, slowly, agonizingly did Maglor's laces come undone and Esgaron pulled back from his kisses to work Maglor's shirts over his head. "To the bed, _mell nín...._ " he urged. Doing his best not to trip on each other, Esgaron moved Maglor toward the bed. "Mmm. Have we any oil in here...?"

Maglor shivered, making low noises of delight as Esgaron went on, and he helped him with his shirt, obediently heading towards the bed. "Mm, I do not know - but we can look at the drawers on the side there?" Maglor reached across to do exactly that, although this did mean he had to reluctantly leave off the teasing patterns he was tracing across Esgaron's torso as he undid his laces. 

Esgaron minded little, kissing Maglor's bare shoulder as he reached. He paid little attention to the drawer contents, enraptured by his lover's skin. "I would be surprised if there is. I did not think our play was so encouraged... But if there is, it will make things easier," he said.

Maglor shivered at the kisses. "You are terribly distracting, my love," he remarked, though he did not sound at all like he minded, "But I fear you are right - none in these, although there are still the cabinets by the wall where your medicines are kept - I imagine there might well be something there."

"Were oils brought along with my medicines? I slept so much, I do not remember what all was used on me," Esgaron said. He followed Maglor over, still running his fingers along his lover's spine.

Maglor's voice had gone rough and he shivered again even as he searched. "Nor I, exactly. But to ease changing the bandages.... ah, look here!" He plucked a small glass bottle from the cabinet shelf. "This will work."

"So I see." Esgaron tugged Maglor back over to the bed. "Please, love, help me with my clothes...?" he asked.

Maglor followed easily, reaching with his free hand to go back to Esgaron's laces. "Of course, love, here, let me..." He set the small bottle down and used both hands, undressing Esgaron with a reverent glee, making sure to kiss any new area of exposed skin he found until there was nothing left to remove.

Esgaron sighed in pleasure at Maglor's kisses, "Mmm, thank you... Here, let me get your boots..." He gently pushed him to the bed and tugged off Maglor's boots, then went to work on the laces of Maglor's pants, loosening them enough to free him, but not yet remove the garment. "Up, Cano, just for a moment, please..." He pulled Maglor back to his feet, kissing him softly, then moved behind him, dropping kisses on his ears, the back of his neck, his shoulder, running his hands over Maglor's back. His caressing hands gently pushed Maglor forward, getting him to bend over. "Yes, love, good..." Esgaron pressed up behind Maglor, grinding his hips and obvious arousal against him, separated only by the layer of cloth, which kept him from actually pushing into Maglor.

Maglor let Esgaron move him as he pleased, using what opportunities he had to reach for his lover and kiss him whenever he could in return. He sighed at Esgaron's touches, shivering in delight at his kisses and he whimpered in want as Esgaron pressed against him, "Oh, beloved..."

Esgaron kept moving in a steady rhythm, his erection stroking against the cleft of his lover's backside, dropping decadent kisses on Maglor's shoulderblades. "Do you enjoy that, _mell nín?_ " His voice was low and velvety. "It is... difficult to hold back, I desire you so much... Do you still wish me to wait, sweet raven?"

Maglor whined and searched for his voice, pressing back against his lover. "You know I do, love," he barely got out and whimpered. "We should..." he managed weakly.

Esgaron pressed against Maglor hard one more time and kissed the tip of his ear. Gently, he worked Maglor's pants down over his hips, sliding them off, and gently urged Maglor onto the bed. "On all fours for me, Cano," he instructed. He nudged Maglor into place, kissing down Maglor's spine, soft kisses on his hips as he reached for the oil. He poured a little into his hand, let it warm and then smeared a bit on Maglor's entrance. The rest coated his fingers, and slowly, gently, he started working one into him.

Maglor nodded, soft whimpers of want escaping as he let Esgaron set the pace without resistance. "Ai, love!" he gasped and presses back, "Beloved..."

Esgaron set an easy rhythm, thrusting with the single digit. "You must let me know if I hurt you at all, love," he said. 

Maglor let out a soft moan at that, and nodded frantically, grasping for words, "I will... Ai! Oh, beloved!" 

Esgaron then proceeded to work a second finger into him. Meanwhile, Esgaron began to stroke himself in time with his thrusts. Soon, a third finger was added when Maglor could take the two with ease, and, after Maglor seemed comfortably accustomed to three, Esgaron added a fourth, just the tips. "How is that, my beauty?" he asked.

Maglor whimpered, filling the room with soft sounds of want and need as Esgaron progressed, gasping for breath as words failed him. " _Esgaron..._ " he moaned, the remnants of his voice utterly wrecked.

Esgaron listened carefully, making sure Maglor was making sounds of pleasure, not pain. "Good, good. Ai, but you are so beautiful this way..." His own breath was starting to hitch. "You are doing so well, _mell nín..._ Easy now, easy... I am going to open you a little more..." Slowly, carefully, Esgaron splayed his fingers a little inside Maglor, grunting with the effort of stretching his tight muscles. Maglor was soon enough soundless again with how Esgaron worked him, trembling and pressing back against his fingers. "...I love you so much, Cano.... I... I must..." Esgaron groaned. He brought his leaking member up to Maglor's opened entrance, the tip against his fingers. Esgaron did not press inward, but he gasped and shuddered, his seed spurting partly into Maglor, some spilling across his back and rear, or dripping down between his legs, and much covering Esgaron's fingers. When Esgaron released, it was enough to trigger Maglor himself, who collapsed with a silent keen. 

Breathing hard, Esgaron took his fingers back out and pressed soft, lazy kisses to Maglor's shoulders. "How was that?" he asked. Maglor turned to reach up and kiss Esgaron in answer, voice not yet recovered. Esgaron moved to cuddle up with Maglor on the bed. "I told you I would undo you without stroking you," he teased gently, "Are you all right?"

Maglor kissed him tiredly and his voice was hoarse as he found it again. "So you did, beloved. Just tired, that's all. But what of you?" he asked.

"Mmm. I think I am all right. My leg is a little sore, however..." Esgaron said. He trailed fingers over Maglor's hot skin. "I should clean you up, though..." 

"Do not overstress yourself," Maglor said.

Esgaron got up just enough to get a towel to mop up the mess, and then laid it aside and curled up with Maglor again. "...does it truly feel so different, being married?" he asked.

Maglor yawned a little and tugged Esgaron close. He hummed thoughtfully at the question. "Yes, and no. Very little changes in some ways, I think. But our sense of each other will.... deepen, I suppose," he said.

Esgaron snuggled into his familiar position in Maglor's arms, bright head tucked under his chin. "...I think I may already have a little. I feel closer to you..." he said in a quiet voice.

Maglor pressed a kiss to Esgaron's head and curled around him. "Your abilities are so strong, love, I think that is why," he said.

Esgaron softly kissed Maglor's throat, brushing his lips over the pulse point. "Which abilities do you mean?" he asked.

Maglor rewarded him with a shiver, throat tipping back with a low sigh. "Mm, like your parents, my love, your abilities of the mind are very strong - far moreso than mine! I think that helps, on your side," Maglor explained.

"I do not know if they are truly strong or not. But I think I have brought us closer yet to being wed. To think you would have let me... My heart aches with waiting. Sweet Cano... I am yours whenever you choose to have me, and I must strive to remain patient and not take you before you are ready..." Esgaron sighed.

"Ah, my love." Maglor shifted so he could kiss Esgaron gently. "Perhaps you have - I am sorry the wait is so hard on you."

Esgaron's lips linger lightly against his love's. "Just hold me for now, Cano. Keep me close until then," he said.

Maglor was only too happy to comply, wrapping his arms around Esgaron with a pleased hum. "Always, Esgaron. Will you sleep, do you think?" he wondered aloud.

Esgaron tugged the bedclothes over them and draped his arm over Maglor, settling into the warm embrace. "I may. What about you?" he asked. He smoothed a lock of hair away from Maglor's face.

Maglor snuggled him as near as he could and leaned into the hand. "Not tonight, I think - I like to watch you sleep anyway," he said.

"Even after those yawns you gave me? I thought I had worn you out for certain," Esgaron said with gentle teasing, accompanied by a tender nuzzle, "Ah, but I do not think I could rob you of the pastime you have had since the first day. I may sleep, some. It is hard to stay awake with your arms around me and your song in my ears."

Maglor huffed at him fondly. "Well, I suppose I might nap a little," he acknowledged and hugged Esgaron, burying his face in his hair and inhaling contentedly. "Hmmm, should I sing you to sleep, beloved?"

"The rest is good for you, Cano." Esgaron idly fingered a lock of Maglor's hair. "I would welcome your song, love."

"I suppose -" Maglor nuzzled him again. "It cannot hurt to nap a little, I guess." His voice was low and tender as he sang:

" _Ah, love, this joy I feel_  
_How strange it is, how fragile_  
_And yet, as it grows_  
_Deep and strong_  
_I think this bond unbroken._ "

Esgaron started to relax, the tension melting from his body, cozy against Maglor. His good fingers started to curl softly against Maglor's skin. His breathing began to slow down. "The bond is only growing..." he murmured in a sleepy voice.

"Rest, love, I am here." Maglor hummed to him, soft and sweet, watching him fondly. He knew he probably should sleep too - at least for a little while, but he was going to simply watch, for a time. Grey eyes closed, and it was not long before Esgaron sighed and was soundly asleep in Maglor's arms. His sleep was restful, and he seemed content in Maglor's arms, not a nightmare in sight all the way to morning. Maglor hummed softly to him and watched him sleep for a while, pleased that Esgaron slept without dreams that time.


End file.
